Hen Do Horror Stories!

[Itsallaboutmememe]

My sister in law asked me to be chief bridesmaid and the kids to be flower girls/pageboys

That was fine

What wasn’t fine is the fact she turned into bloody bridezilla

Her mindset seemed to be ‘I want this that and the other but I don’t want to pay for it-it’s my day and everyone else should pay for it’

She forced/guilt tripped me into buying outfits in one colour-then changed her mind (I almost got into debt)

Had me running round town for her-at my own cost-for whatever it was she wanted that day

I could fill the thread with everything but you get the idea-this went on for 9 months-every bloody day brought new demands at a cost to either me or someone else as she wanted it all for free

So anyway-I had to sort the hen do

At the time I was a single mum to 6 so not had loads of spare cash-I was also bringing up kids/school/nursery runs/collage/working part time

I organised a lovely day at a spa (her idea)

I got (forced) all her mates to cough up as I didn’t have the money to pay upfront and some of em thought I’d sub them-I’m talking about 12 hens and over two grand (I paid almost £300 out of my own money on top of everything else I was forced to pay for)

Went to a lot of trouble to sort all this out and make her day special-in fact I made myself ill over the stress of it all

She then uninvited me on the day-an hour before we where due to set off for this spa day cos ‘you’ll find it hard to get childcare’ (I had in fact sorted childcare) and invited a mate of hers to take my place at my expense-she hadn’t lifted a finger to sort any of this apart from to ring me all the sodding time with more demands

so on the day itself I stood on her dress (accidentally) and tore it a tiny bit-I’m talking a few stitches

She screamed at me for being ‘an idiot’ and how ‘she could just punch me’

I made it to the wedding breakfast without punching her-(tempted tho) then I saw red-and I stole their wedding cake-snuck it out the building and gave it to my kids for breakfast the following morning

We don’t speak anymore...

 

[Laur91]

I planned my best friend of 20+ years’ hen party for her and about 9 others and it resulted in me being demoted from Made of Honour to a ‘guest’ which I declined and I’ve never spoketo her again since.

basically the long weekend in a beach-side loft apartment with day shopping and eating, chocolate making workshop & dinner at an Italian restaurant I’d planned and booked around her ‘friends’ who had no money was not appreciated and she literally asked me ‘is this all there is?’ as we stood on the beach in the blazing sunshine with a drink in hand.

edit; just to say Bride doesn’t drink and didn’t want a boozy/party hen do so I did my best!

I was so gobsmacked and to add insult to injury she let her ‘friends’ (basically work colleagues and sister in law so maybe that says a lot) walk all over me and tell me how much better they could have planned it. Bearing in mind i spent 6 months planning hers and rounding up money (which I put in a LOT more than them) and she said ‘sorry I don’t see how you could have spent so long planning this’.

it sent me into a bit of an anxiety spiral and for about a year afterwards I had major issues with my self esteem and not feeling good enough, I’ll never forgive her for it.

 

[Looney toons]

Hen dos are absolute waste of time now. The tradition of them is wasted, thankfully, as women do and can still go out after marrying. The whole point of a hen do in our grandma's day was that it was last blow out before being a stay at home wife who would never have gone to a pub with friends. They have become a stressful expensive over rated waste and I've turned down quite a few over the years. And yes i have turned into an old misery obviously!!

 

[lizlemonseyeroll]

I went to a friend’s hen do last summer, which was meant to be a sedate afternoon tea and pamper party at a fancy hotel in her home town. However, the bride had been knocking back the gin all morning and was paralytic by 2:30 in the afternoon. The whole party got thrown out of the hotel after the bride wet herself and cried so hard about it that she threw up...

 

[Katykatykaty]

I once had to plan a hen do for a “friend” when I was about 20. I was the only young female invited to the wedding as the hen had completely cut off so many people through recent years that she really didn’t have any female friends. I was tasked with asking people to the hen do that she hadn’t spoken to in months/years and who knew they weren’t invited to the wedding. They were the most awkward conversations I’ve ever had. I think in the end only two people said yes and I knew neither of them and they didn’t know each other so in effect it was a night planned for 4 strangers. I booked a restaurant, a booth in a cocktail bar and strapped myself in for a terrible night. The hen spent the whole night texting on her phone, I kept trying to get the night going but it was pointless. The hen then declared at 9.30 that she had to go home as she had a job interview the next day. On the one hand I was glad that there was an excuse to end the awfulness but felt terrible that the other two attendees had travelled quite a distance for the night and now just had to turn around and leave two hours later. It was horrendous!!

The wedding wasn’t much better - I was maid of honour (read that also as the only bridesmaid so was given everything to do on my own) but you would never have known it. The bride barely spoke to me on the morning of the wedding, she got ready in one room and me in another. She forgot to organise transport to her wedding for me so I had to hitch a lift with some strangers who lived on her street. I was ignored all day and had no one to talk to. My husband had originally been invited to the whole day but he got downgraded to just the evening when the bride came to the conclusion that only people she’d willingly go and draw £150 out the bank for could be invited as £150 was the price per head, my husband didn’t make that cut. I sat in the corner for most the day while they spent hours on photos, it was only when a random guest told the bride she should have her bridesmaid in the photos that I was asked to participate. The evening came and my Dad was the DJ for the night. The bride and all her family went into one room of the venue leaving me, my dad and my husband sitting in the room with the disco set up. It was horrendous!! Then a few days after the wedding my dad bumped into the bride’s mother and made a (total lie) comment about how I’d enjoyed being a bridesmaid, the bride’s mother replied “oh no, she was just a witness”. I’d spent a fortune on the wedding - had to pay for my own hair & makeup, but my own dress, treats for the bride, paid the restaurant bill at the hen do & bought most of the cocktails plus a new suit for my husband, a cash gift as they’d requested plus drinks and petrol for the actual wedding. I never spoke to her again and my life has been much better for it!

Oh and the couple got divorced a year later.

 

[HoGi]

I had to go to a spice girls dance class as part of one hen do. It was being taught by a girl who didn't even know the song wannabee.

We then had to perform it at the wedding..

 

[MrsWolf]

A bit late to this thread and this isn’t a horror story.. but I’m worried it could turn out to be one. Also, I’m unable to start a thread myself..

But I’ve been put in charge of planning my best friends hen do next year. I do not get on with any of her “new friends” (they’re all her fiancés best mates wives/gfs) and his family are literally my idea of hell company. I’m literally the odd one out but we’ve been friends for 20 years and I couldn't let her down and not do this for her. (She planned everything for mine and I’m grateful for that!)

Does anyone have any tips/advice to help me get through this as easily as possible?! She wants one abroad and all the works and I just don’t know where to start. We’ve already had the first drama of them only agreeing on one date so far.. my wedding anniversary.. so I’ve obviously said no. I am honestly dreading it.

I’m quoting myself here... I posted on this thread in July and it’s all gone tits up from there! I am no longer going on previously stated hen do and my friend of 20 years is no longer talking to me/ has been blunt with me since December

All becuase... I wouldn’t commit to booking a hen do abroad for this year whilst in lockdown and knowing the uncertainty of being able to travel etc. (I said I would be happy to save up the money and get ideas and we can book a last minute thing IF we were able to actually go) I mean considering in Nov/Dec last year we didn’t know we’d still be in a lockdown now I think I made the right choice!

Our other friend went on and booked it and took everyone’s money for the deposit and now it’s just come back that it’s been cancelled and they’re struggling to get money back... I mean I don’t want to say it but... I told you so.

 

[Base2019]

Not specifically hen party but included ... I was “bridesmaid” for one of my best friends before lockdown.. we went abroad for her hen which me and another bridesmaid organised everything! Including paying for the bride. She then wanted a home hen party before the wedding for his family. So planned this aswell and again bride covered, this was just before lockdown.... her fiancé’s family were awful to deal with and wanted nothing to do with the plans, they refused to even stay in the same hotel as us and organised their own dinner before meeting us as didn’t like the private venue we had picked. The night was sooo awkward

Fast forward to wedding the month later and it was postponed due to covid so didn’t go ahead. I got diagnosed with cancer last summer and lost my hair and was still getting treatment for the new wedding date in autumn 2020.

The bride messaged me all of twice, once when I was diagnosed and then once again to say she was going ahead with the new date for the wedding and to “check” I still wasn’t able to be bridesmaid.

Obviously I wasn’t. I got out of radiotherapy treatment the day of the wedding and seen she had replaced me as bridesmaid with another girl we know that we aren’t even friendly with. She still to this day has never even told me or had the manners to say about it. I only learned of the new bridesmaid via Facebook and Instagram and asked another friend of ours if that was the case as she had the same colour dress as the bridesmaids.

Feels so weird even typing that out I feel bad even saying about it

 

[Newbie]

I was left by my bridesmaids to plan my own. So I did. And paid my own way too (weekend in a family owned apartment, we just had flights to pay for)

Fast forward 5 years and my maid of honour gets married. I'm expected to plan her hen do, which I don't mind. But when I split the cost between all of us, her included, she says she didn't think the bride should pay

She wanted a few days in Spain! So we all ended up paying for her too and I'll forever be known as a mug

I wouldn't have minded paying for the bride, but the fact it wasn't a 'thing' until it was her that was the bride annoyed me!

 

[The Devils Arse]

Reading this thread makes me glad I'm an introverted loner!!!

 

[Corky]

A sad but true story. My neighbour had her hen party in a coastal village in Ireland. One of the girls at the hen party was alone that night, standing on a pier taking a photo of the coast, she slipped, fell into the water and died. The wedding after was a very sombre affair.

 

[Milliehaha123]

Nah you can't leave us hanging like that!! Did they get married in the end? Did her and childhood friend get together??

Not to sound like cynic but I reckon childhood friend harboured feelings for her for years and that's why he went along to see if he could get it on with her and make her see how amazing he is.

Haha sorry guys didn’t realise I had ended on such a cliffhanger haha.

It was pretty bad so for the rest of that day she was in a terrible state, umming and arring about what to do and what was right. The childhood friend stuck around but super sheepish and staying out of everything. We all gave our opinion on what to do but it was down to her at the end of the day

SO she gets back and admits to the husband to be. He is understandably gutted but apparently was ok about the situation. Wedding called off

This was about two years ago - my friend went travelling for about a year (presumably to get over everything / recover) I think a lot of people were mad at her. She’s now been back for a year, training as a midwife and is currently dating the childhood friend. Nice ending - we shall see!

 

[Doobots]

Not my story but saw this on Twitter tonight

 

[judsmum]

My small circle of friends nearly had heart failure when I stated that I did not want a hen do of any sort. I can’t abide going out with them girls’. I told them to all go out on my behalf and to have a great time. They all went to Leeds and had a fabulous time as did I with my Chinese.

 

[Lovestolurk]

I’d like to know what everyone’s thoughts are on chipping in for the hen’s cost?

Maybe I’m just tight but all the hen do’s I have been on (with the same group of friends) they have asked us to chip in for the hen too and whilst they were my friends (some no longer even my friends now) back in those days I didn’t have loads of extra money so always found not only splashing out hundreds of pounds + the extra cost of about £40-£50 was a lot but felt I had to because everyone else was

Again maybe I’m just tight

It’s bullshit. I wouldn’t dream of asking my friends to cover me. If I have a hen do it would be a meal and if anything I would cover the cost of everyone else. Or at least get some bottles of champagne in.

No I agree! When I organised by SILs hen do, it was assumed we would all pay for her. She’s an ungrateful cow so I knew all the effort wouldn’t be appreciated so I thought why should I pay for her on top of all this work?! I would be mortified if my friends were begrudging me and paying for my place on my hen do on top of already spending a lot.

Exactly, and anyone reading this thread thinking “my hen was great, my friends were happy to go abroad and wanted to pay for me”, they were lying to you, they bitched about it to each other and to their partners and their sisters. They didn’t really want to go and they definitely didn’t want to pay for you

 

[DCICassieStuart]

I didn't have a hen when I got married. Mainly for all the reasons listed above!
Do I regret it? Nope. Not for one second.

 

[Be More Pacific]

I have no stories! I couldn't be bothered with doing anything more thank going for a meal with a select few. I hate large group outings. Am here for all your stories though!

Hen parties make me cringe.

#bridetribe FUCK OFF!

I'm even not married by the way

But I love hearing about deranged bitches so I'm here too!

 

[Daffodil12]

One of my close friends is getting married and she wants an away hen. It annoys me how much she expects her friends to pay? I’d rather go on holiday with my husband thanks not fork out to stay in a run down hotel with a group of bitchy girls

 

[Orange Creme]

Hen dos are my idea of hell! I was invited to one recently and declined. Apparently not wanting to spend hundreds and not wanting to leave my three little beauties for a weekend is strange

 

[Doobots]

My only bridesmaid was my sister as we had a small wedding. I picked where we went (it was drinks in a pub, then a nightclub - so basically a normal night out) and she just did the admin. Anyway one of my best friends at the time started harassing her with messages saying I would never have picked the location, that I would hate it, and that she would sort it and spamming her with links to very expensive venues that were all champagne and cocktails and glitz. Then the same friend bought me a wedding dress (!) In a style she thought I should wear. Needless to say she was not at the hen nor at the wedding where I wore a dress I chose myself.