Hen Do Horror Stories!

[Lovestolurk]

I’d like to know what everyone’s thoughts are on chipping in for the hen’s cost?

Maybe I’m just tight but all the hen do’s I have been on (with the same group of friends) they have asked us to chip in for the hen too and whilst they were my friends (some no longer even my friends now) back in those days I didn’t have loads of extra money so always found not only splashing out hundreds of pounds + the extra cost of about £40-£50 was a lot but felt I had to because everyone else was

Again maybe I’m just tight

It’s bullshit. I wouldn’t dream of asking my friends to cover me. If I have a hen do it would be a meal and if anything I would cover the cost of everyone else. Or at least get some bottles of champagne in.

No I agree! When I organised by SILs hen do, it was assumed we would all pay for her. She’s an ungrateful cow so I knew all the effort wouldn’t be appreciated so I thought why should I pay for her on top of all this work?! I would be mortified if my friends were begrudging me and paying for my place on my hen do on top of already spending a lot.

Exactly, and anyone reading this thread thinking “my hen was great, my friends were happy to go abroad and wanted to pay for me”, they were lying to you, they bitched about it to each other and to their partners and their sisters. They didn’t really want to go and they definitely didn’t want to pay for you

 

[Hastaggifted]

An old friend's sister was organising her hen do and invited me. They were staying in our home town and had cocktail making and dinner planned for what is pretty much a whetherspoons. There was a group chat and she told us that it would come to about £300 each!!! I wrote back and said you could get a weekend in Spain for that and I wasn't prepared to pay that much. Needless to say I was swiftly removed from the chat and uninvited (Thank god ). When the pics came up on Facebook it looked like the most boring thing I've seen and only about 6 people there. The bride, her 2 sisters, her mum, the grooms mum and a cousin .

 

[The Devils Arse]

It was horrific. I dreaded it during the run up. Got there and me and two other girls were trying to work out if we could bail

The class itself was painful and we only learnt a routine to the first half of the song. At the wedding when it came on and the DJ said I understand the hens have a routine they want to show us I could have died

This is my absolute nightmare. I would have had a.migraine that day for sure. A well planned and prepared one.

 

[slugella]

I would feel bad expecting people to pay to go on holiday for my hen, nevermind expecting them to pay for me too!! It's not even just the cost but some people may have to use holiday from work too. I would be happy just going for a meal for mine when did things get so extra.

I was meant to go to one in Spain which got cancelled because of covid and we were flying late Friday evening and coming back early Sunday morning. It was so expensive too and wouldn't have been worth it for such a short time!

 

[Northeast1988]

I hope nobody is bitching about my hen do wekeends from last year
I had to cut it down from 9 to 6 for a garden party and then 9 to 4 for my weekend away

 

[Herefortheteeeee]

I have had friends cut me out of their lives for not being able to afford to attend their hen or their wedding on the other side of the country. This was 5 or 6 years ago and it still bothers me how nasty people can be. Thank god I didn’t waste the money!

 

[Phoenix Lazarus]

I have had friends cut me out of their lives for not being able to afford to attend their hen or their wedding on the other side of the country.

They were no friends.

 

[Herefortheteeeee]

They were no friends.

Nope. Exactly. I was also having an awful time of it with an ex. They didn’t bother checking on me. I said I couldn’t come to the wedding as I couldn’t afford it and they cut me out. Deleted me off Facebook and never spoke to me again.

 

[Phoenix Lazarus]

Nope. Exactly. I was also having an awful time of it with an ex. They didn’t bother checking on me. I said I couldn’t come to the wedding as I couldn’t afford it and they cut me out. Deleted me off Facebook and never spoke to me again.

You're well rid.

 

[lemonlime]

I have had friends cut me out of their lives for not being able to afford to attend their hen or their wedding on the other side of the country. This was 5 or 6 years ago and it still bothers me how nasty people can be. Thank god I didn’t waste the money!

I find this mindblowing because if I were getting married and a friend I really wanted at my whatever event couldn't afford to come, I wouldn't dream of resenting them for it and I would try to cover their costs if I had the means, so that they could come. If people are cutting you out for not being able to burn hundreds of pounds on a probably boring drunken night or two, then you are much better off without them.

 

[Babyyoda88]

I really think Hen dos really show people’s true colours!

I agree. I had a small hen do. It was a spa stay and really good value. I invited some close friends and cousins. I told them I really understood if they didn’t want to go but just to let me know so I know how many to book for. I understood a spa wouldn’t have been everyone’s cup of tea so wouldn’t hold it against them.
However I literally had one cousin read the messages and never responded once. No acknowledgement, not even an excuse nothing. Just blanked the whole event. It was awkward when I had to see her again at a family party and I don’t think I’ll ever look at her in the same light.
Another friend who I thought I was really close to, used the hen and the wedding as a whole to just completely ignore me. Never responded to the hen, never responded to the wedding invitation and we just didn’t speak again which I found really weird because we were close.
I hate fuss and making people feel uncomfortable about attending something they would rather not. But most of all I can’t stand ignorant people.

 

[lemonlime]

Another friend who I thought I was really close to, used the hen and the wedding as a whole to just completely ignore me. Never responded to the hen, never responded to the wedding invitation and we just didn’t speak again which I found really weird because we were close.

This is so bizarre, I can't imagine why a person would choose to behave like this! The only explanation I can come up with is that they were secretly salty about you getting married?? It's crazy that they never revived the friendship either.

 

[Babyyoda88]

This is so bizarre, I can't imagine why a person would choose to behave like this! The only explanation I can come up with is that they were secretly salty about you getting married?? It's crazy that they never revived the friendship either.

It was very bizarre and I was really disappointed because I thought may be she never really liked me. But ah well sometimes it’s not a bad thing if people’s true colours are exposed.

 

[Blakelycakey]

It was very bizarre and I was really disappointed because I thought may be she never really liked me. But ah well sometimes it’s not a bad thing if people’s true colours are exposed.

Weddings and babies definitely seem to weed out true friendships in life!

 

[Herefortheteeeee]

I find this mindblowing because if I were getting married and a friend I really wanted at my whatever event couldn't afford to come, I wouldn't dream of resenting them for it and I would try to cover their costs if I had the means, so that they could come. If people are cutting you out for not being able to burn hundreds of pounds on a probably boring drunken night or two, then you are much better off without them.

You would think!!! I have always found it really hard to get my mind round. But I strongly believe in karma and I’m sure it would have come back round at some point x

 

[Dak1988]

It’s bullshit. I wouldn’t dream of asking my friends to cover me. If I have a hen do it would be a meal and if anything I would cover the cost of everyone else. Or at least get some bottles of champagne in.


Exactly, and anyone reading this thread thinking “my hen was great, my friends were happy to go abroad and wanted to pay for me”, they were lying to you, they bitched about it to each other and to their partners and their sisters. They didn’t really want to go and they definitely didn’t want to pay for you

So true

 

[Barbie2020]

Before Covid my sister was planning my hen do and I felt the pressure to do an away hen do in the uk for a night. Reading this thread I’m now glad we will be doing something simple. I’ll be having a meal out and some cocktails (not clubbing it’s not my thing) and a spa day with my mum and sister. Some friends have babies and wouldn’t want to spend the night away so I think it will be nice to have something stress free and I’d rather everyone just have a nice time and not worry about spending loads of money.

 

[Lovestolurk]

Before Covid my sister was planning my hen do and I felt the pressure to do an away hen do in the uk for a night. Reading this thread I’m now glad we will be doing something simple. I’ll be having a meal out and some cocktails (not clubbing it’s not my thing) and a spa day with my mum and sister. Some friends have babies and wouldn’t want to spend the night away so I think it will be nice to have something stress free and I’d rather everyone just have a nice time and not worry about spending loads of money.

Sounds great. And I think after lockdown and the year we’re had everyone is going to be up for meals and cocktails with the girls. Perfect night out x

 

[Base2019]

Not specifically hen party but included ... I was “bridesmaid” for one of my best friends before lockdown.. we went abroad for her hen which me and another bridesmaid organised everything! Including paying for the bride. She then wanted a home hen party before the wedding for his family. So planned this aswell and again bride covered, this was just before lockdown.... her fiancé’s family were awful to deal with and wanted nothing to do with the plans, they refused to even stay in the same hotel as us and organised their own dinner before meeting us as didn’t like the private venue we had picked. The night was sooo awkward

Fast forward to wedding the month later and it was postponed due to covid so didn’t go ahead. I got diagnosed with cancer last summer and lost my hair and was still getting treatment for the new wedding date in autumn 2020.

The bride messaged me all of twice, once when I was diagnosed and then once again to say she was going ahead with the new date for the wedding and to “check” I still wasn’t able to be bridesmaid.

Obviously I wasn’t. I got out of radiotherapy treatment the day of the wedding and seen she had replaced me as bridesmaid with another girl we know that we aren’t even friendly with. She still to this day has never even told me or had the manners to say about it. I only learned of the new bridesmaid via Facebook and Instagram and asked another friend of ours if that was the case as she had the same colour dress as the bridesmaids.

Feels so weird even typing that out I feel bad even saying about it

 

[Northeast1988]

Not specifically hen party but included ... I was “bridesmaid” for one of my best friends before lockdown.. we went abroad for her hen which me and another bridesmaid organised everything! Including paying for the bride. She then wanted a home hen party before the wedding for his family. So planned this aswell and again bride covered, this was just before lockdown.... her fiancé’s family were awful to deal with and wanted nothing to do with the plans, they refused to even stay in the same hotel as us and organised their own dinner before meeting us as didn’t like the private venue we had picked. The night was sooo awkward

Fast forward to wedding the month later and it was postponed due to covid so didn’t go ahead. I got diagnosed with cancer last summer and lost my hair and was still getting treatment for the new wedding date in autumn 2020.

The bride messaged me all of twice, once when I was diagnosed and then once again to say she was going ahead with the new date for the wedding and to “check” I still wasn’t able to be bridesmaid.

Obviously I wasn’t. I got out of radiotherapy treatment the day of the wedding and seen she had replaced me as bridesmaid with another girl we know that we aren’t even friendly with. She still to this day has never even told me or had the manners to say about it. I only learned of the new bridesmaid via Facebook and Instagram and asked another friend of ours if that was the case as she had the same colour dress as the bridesmaids.

Feels so weird even typing that out I feel bad even saying about it

Similar - I got asked to be bridesmaid from a girl at work . Went to wedding fayres with her , dress shopping with her , all sorts
I then got engaged her planning , I chose 2020 wedding , she went for 2021
Xmas time at work I found out that she had sent all the invites out and I hadn’t got mine - thought it was odd but I just assumed that she wasn’t sending the wedding party one . Few months after that I found out she has set up a private fb group for her hen party abroad which I wasn’t part of or knew nothing about . Started to realise I had been ghosted as a bridesmaid and dropped. Gave her a few months to see if she would mention it . She didn’t so I called her out on it big style . We only know have a work friendship if you wanna call her that