Hen Do Horror Stories!

[RaMOANa]

Ha I was reading these thinking who is having hens at the moment

I’ve been to loads too many in fact, worst Was my sister in laws at a dodge hotel in a college town, it had a nightclub attached, my mother and I (6 months pregnant ) ending up being the ones that got the room right over the nightclub, should have known what was coming when we saw they had disposable ear plugs in the room. So as the non drinker I drove to and from the hotel about 100km each way had to buy a black dress as guests were to wear black, bridesmaids pink, and the bride white got a cocktail class (oj), a VIP booth at a rather empty nightclub, a sleepless night and a continental breakfast for 300 quid turned out we had paid for the bride without even being told about it.

I’ve also been on 2 hen nights that the weddings did not happen one was abroad, as was the wedding that we had already booked flights and non refundable hotel for.

The best ones with the most fun have been a meal and night out pretty local, keep it simple!

My cousin fell out with me because I didn’t go to hers in Spain 4 weeks after my due date, was actually early as it turned out but who leaves a newborn to head to Spain on the lash! I said had from outset I would not be going abroad but she kept making digs about people dropping out.

As bridesmaid I helped organise my best friends hen she chose a specific event in a city which was a 4 hour drive away with intention of getting a bus, so many dropped out due to distance it became very expensive so bus plan got dropped as some going for 1 night etc I think 9 went in the end and we had a ball. The MOH did get stung for several tickets for those that cancelled so I got the printed t shirts, Willy straws, & goodie bags etc to balance it up Has to be done LOL

 

[HoGi]

I was organising one for March 2020 that ended up cancelled because of covid.

It was a nightmare. There were 12 people on the brides guest list. All agreed that they were happy to go to London for the day with 1 "activity", bottomless brunch and then drinks/dancing and stay in an air BnB come home the next morning. We agreed on a date and I managed to get all this provisionally booked for £115 per person which included paying for the bride. When it came to paying they dropped out 1 by 1 until there were only 6 of us going. Which meant I couldn't book the activity as it was minimum 10 people.

I just think people are so unrealistic about how much things cost sometimes. This was £115 for a full day and night out with an overnight stay in our capital city. The only additional cost would have been drinks at the final bar and their train fare but we could get group save.

I should add that I gave them 3 months to pay this over and they had all agreed 6 months prior that under £150 was acceptable

I felt so bad for my friend!

 

[lemonlime]

Not a horror story but a disappointment one. The bride brought her soon-to-be-husband to her hen-do (??) because they literally cannot do tit alone since they've started dating, and we thought we'd be together as the bride's friends that night. Confusion all around. The whole night ended up just being an awkward hangout at a bar and since we couldn't do the bridey stuff with this dude just chilling there, saying he doesn't want a drink and showering us with complaints about the bar and the noise, the club we went to after this bar was a total nightmare with almost everyone sober and bored. The couple looked around confused as a few of us tried to have fun but it's hard to be invested in a night out when you can feel that the guest of honour cannot give two shits, and instead staring at his man, asking "what do you wanna do?" At the end I ended up saying duck this to myself and informed everyone that I'd be going home. I guess everyone else went home as well. The most bullshit hen-do I've ever seen/been to and I don't even enjoy this party wedding stuff to begin with. Never again lmao.

The only one I've actually enjoyed was my best friend's do, where like 6 of us met for a really nice dinner at a good restaurant. Some of us were meeting for the first time but it was great, everyone got along so well, the food and the drinks were delicious. Wouldn't want anything else for myself either.

 

[petitspois]

Almost everyone wants something local-ish and less 'try hard' when they are asked to go to someone's Hen but, when it's their own, why do they do a flip and expect something outlandish?

 

[MrsWolf]

A bit late to this thread and this isn’t a horror story.. but I’m worried it could turn out to be one. Also, I’m unable to start a thread myself..

But I’ve been put in charge of planning my best friends hen do next year. I do not get on with any of her “new friends” (they’re all her fiancés best mates wives/gfs) and his family are literally my idea of hell company. I’m literally the odd one out but we’ve been friends for 20 years and I couldn't let her down and not do this for her. (She planned everything for mine and I’m grateful for that!)

Does anyone have any tips/advice to help me get through this as easily as possible?! She wants one abroad and all the works and I just don’t know where to start. We’ve already had the first drama of them only agreeing on one date so far.. my wedding anniversary.. so I’ve obviously said no. I am honestly dreading it.

I’m quoting myself here... I posted on this thread in July and it’s all gone tits up from there! I am no longer going on previously stated hen do and my friend of 20 years is no longer talking to me/ has been blunt with me since December

All becuase... I wouldn’t commit to booking a hen do abroad for this year whilst in lockdown and knowing the uncertainty of being able to travel etc. (I said I would be happy to save up the money and get ideas and we can book a last minute thing IF we were able to actually go) I mean considering in Nov/Dec last year we didn’t know we’d still be in a lockdown now I think I made the right choice!

Our other friend went on and booked it and took everyone’s money for the deposit and now it’s just come back that it’s been cancelled and they’re struggling to get money back... I mean I don’t want to say it but... I told you so.

 

[Nolongerjustalurker]

A friend’s hen do and wedding (in another part of the U.K. so involved flights, hotels and car hire on top of hen do activities, and costs at the wedding) put me in £2000 worth of credit card debt we didn’t even do anything that extravagant just everything kept adding up..

 

[RaMOANa]

I forgot the one I got food poisoning at! I was about 24.

I had crab claws for starters at the meal by time it got to dessert I wasn’t feeling well by time we left I was violently ill, dizzy and faint. I was in a strange town and didn’t know most people on the night just my very good friend from a previous job, who was the bride, I trudged miserably on for the night saying I was fine as I was staying with her neighbour (whole night was local to her) I had 1 glass of wine before the meal and sipped on sparkling water for the night the other girls must have thought I was an absolute dry sh1te sitting there with my water one of the girls was a nurse and gave me some tablet and diolalite and I managed to keep going without being too noticeable and drove home 3 hours the next day crawled into bed and stayed there for 2 days, my family obviously thought I was seriously hungover! Have never ordered crab claws in a Chinese since! Only told my friend a couple of years later How bad I actually was I had passed it off as just not feeling great with her.

 

[flamingo29]

The hen do I was meant to go on last summer was cancelled and I cannot lie I was so happy about it

If it gets rearranged and I am still invited then I am going to be ‘busy’ whatever the date is

 

[TwooTwooTwitTwitTwoo]

I planned my best friend of 20+ years’ hen party for her and about 9 others and it resulted in me being demoted from Made of Honour to a ‘guest’ which I declined and I’ve never spoketo her again since.

basically the long weekend in a beach-side loft apartment with day shopping and eating, chocolate making workshop & dinner at an Italian restaurant I’d planned and booked around her ‘friends’ who had no money was not appreciated and she literally asked me ‘is this all there is?’ as we stood on the beach in the blazing sunshine with a drink in hand.

edit; just to say Bride doesn’t drink and didn’t want a boozy/party hen do so I did my best!

I was so gobsmacked and to add insult to injury she let her ‘friends’ (basically work colleagues and sister in law so maybe that says a lot) walk all over me and tell me how much better they could have planned it. Bearing in mind i spent 6 months planning hers and rounding up money (which I put in a LOT more than them) and she said ‘sorry I don’t see how you could have spent so long planning this’.

it sent me into a bit of an anxiety spiral and for about a year afterwards I had major issues with my self esteem and not feeling good enough, I’ll never forgive her for it.

Hello,
fellow demotee here. Ditched by a friend of over 30 years, via watsapp, would you believe! Was told I could still go to her main hen do and the wedding. I politely declined, removed everyone involved from social media and never spoke to her again.

There were multiple hen do's and get togethers. I was told I wasn't enthusiastic enough despite getting myself into debt to go to these things she wanted and giving up loads of my time, despite going through significant family difficulties at the time.

I was relieved in the end because any time we had got together (bride and bridesmaids) it was so obvious they were all slagging me off behind my back that it made me quite ill with anxiety. I literally couldn't have done any more to try and please her and it was never enough. I never did get the hundreds of pounds back from the hen do I didn't go on. Although they all had to share beds in some weird flat arrangement so for a positive spin I like to think of it as paying to get out of something I'd have hated.

My own hen do years prior was in total contrast. I organised it myself, although my bridesmaids did loads of thoughtful stuff to make it special. It was a meal with family and friends, followed by a trip to my favourite nightclub with those who wanted to join me, ending with popping in to a memorial night that was being held at a pub nearby, for someone close to me who had died suddenly the week before. The last bit might seem a bit weird but neither get together could be rearranged so that was how it was.

I'd be happy to never be invited on another hen do again!

 

[Rose91]

The hen do I was meant to go on last summer was cancelled and I cannot lie I was so happy about it

If it gets rearranged and I am still invited then I am going to be ‘busy’ whatever the date is

I feel the same with the one I was meant to be going on! The bride finally decided to cancel as we were meant to be going next month. Now to wait for the refund to come through

 

[DanaScully]

I can't remember if I've already replied to this thread so replying again.

I've only been on one hen do and it was my first and will be my last. We went to Benidorm and started out drinking in the bride's kitchen at about 7.00am before our flight.

We carried on drinking all day, threw our bags in the hotel, freshened up and went straight out for the evening.

The next day I was sick in a bin next to the pool. There and then I vowed I'd never go on another hen do.

 

[Chickenandgravy]

Sister in laws.....her friends (bar one) were all stuck up nasty cunts and when I tried to say something it would be dismissed only for the maid of honour to suggest it 5 mins later to nods of approval. Absolufely hated every second of it.
Went to some fancy place in London (£1000 for 3 nights ) and they were so horrible to my mum aswell.
Maid of honour looked me up and down at the wedding, even my boyfriend noticed and he doesn't normally pay attention to these things see if she had looked at me like that outside of the wedding as a whole she would've been knocked into next week.
Soon as the wedding was over I unfriended them all and the maid of honor is apparently still a miserable stuck up wee duck face whose weirdly in love with my brother (her best friends husband).

I will NEVER have my own hen do because of how that made me feel and I would hate for anyone to feel like that at mine.not to mention the amount of money I wasted.

 

[Milliehaha123]

I'm semi dreading one I've got in September.
I got invited by a girl through my current boyfriend (she is a girlfriend of one of his bezzies) and I committed (paid the deposit) because I like her and we hang out a lot as two couples.
It's a weekend away in the UK, sounds ok. Quite expensive so far.
She invited us all to a Whatsapp a few days ago and I didn't really take much notice of who was in the group (I don't know many people going so didn't really care tbh)
Someone posted a photo into the group saying 'cant wait for the reunion' or something and it was a photo of my boyfriends ex. who is a maniac!! I'm now a bit on tender-hooks. I really want to go and don't want to cancel because of someone, but some of the stories I've heard about her makes me nervous. It's not as though it's just a meal or something where I could probably avoid. AH!
I'll probably end up being her best mate by the end of it just took me by surprise! I'll keep you guys updated haha

 

[Phoenix Lazarus]

The next day I was sick in a bin next to the pool.

I first read as that as 'I was sick in the pool.'

 

[DanaScully]

I first read as that as 'I was sick in the pool.'

Thankfully not! I was running to the toilet but didn't make it so the bin was the nearest thing that wasn't the floor.

 

[Phoenix Lazarus]

We went to Benidorm and started out drinking in the bride's kitchen at about 7.00am before our flight.

I hope you weren't one of those nightmare drunken groups who you hear of causing chaos on an airborne plane!

 

[DanaScully]

I hope you weren't one of those nightmare drunken groups who you hear of causing chaos on an airborne plane!

Noooo, we were drunk but just in high spirits. Not disruptive enough to cause anyone else any issues!

 

[Hodgies]

Mine was a good long time ago now but I specifically didn't want to go away, couldn't think of anything I'd like to have done less. I ended up with a meal then drinks and then onto a club. Was ideal, mum's and aunties etc came to the meal then headed off, quite a few stayed around for the drinks which was just in the bar downstairs. Only about 6 of us when to the club but they were my regular going out pals so it was inevitable it would be us and had a great time. Would have preferred if my bridesmaid had been less of a wet lettuce about organising it and just did it rather than still expecting me to tell her exactly what to do but overall it could have been much worse.

I have only been to one away hen do which was for my SIL and it was OK, just a bit boring really. I remember we went for a meal, then to the theatre then a few bars but it was all really disjointed, the restaurant was nowhere near the theatre and it wasn't anywhere near where we were drinking so there was a lot of taxis and the pubs were dull and half empty. I ended up going back to the hotel with my MIL as I couldn't be bothered anymore and I wanted my bed. I had 2 small children, 1 of whom didn't sleep so the thought of an uninterrupted night was way more appealing

I'm already dreading my cousin's hen do which I've had to agree to go on, she's literally the only person I would do this for. It was meant to be in July but now been moved to next April. She spoke to me initially about what I thought about costings and location and I thought both sounded fine. Then I get added to a WhatsApp group by the bridesmaids and get the details, it's now nearly £100 dearer and an hour further away! The place she'd been talking about was about 40 mins from her and everyone else who was coming and an hour from me, now it's 2 hours away and a good hour or so from her. Then I read the reviews for this "luxury lodge" we've booked and it's horrific. All the comments are about how it's tired and dirty, the sofas are wrecked, the hot tub doesn't have an awning or anything over it so useless if the weather isn't great...in April that'll be fun! It's clearly solely used for hen parties and they don't give a tit. I'm gutted however I've paid my money and I'm just going and will shut my mouth and hope for the best!

 

[Katykatykaty]

I once had to plan a hen do for a “friend” when I was about 20. I was the only young female invited to the wedding as the hen had completely cut off so many people through recent years that she really didn’t have any female friends. I was tasked with asking people to the hen do that she hadn’t spoken to in months/years and who knew they weren’t invited to the wedding. They were the most awkward conversations I’ve ever had. I think in the end only two people said yes and I knew neither of them and they didn’t know each other so in effect it was a night planned for 4 strangers. I booked a restaurant, a booth in a cocktail bar and strapped myself in for a terrible night. The hen spent the whole night texting on her phone, I kept trying to get the night going but it was pointless. The hen then declared at 9.30 that she had to go home as she had a job interview the next day. On the one hand I was glad that there was an excuse to end the awfulness but felt terrible that the other two attendees had travelled quite a distance for the night and now just had to turn around and leave two hours later. It was horrendous!!

The wedding wasn’t much better - I was maid of honour (read that also as the only bridesmaid so was given everything to do on my own) but you would never have known it. The bride barely spoke to me on the morning of the wedding, she got ready in one room and me in another. She forgot to organise transport to her wedding for me so I had to hitch a lift with some strangers who lived on her street. I was ignored all day and had no one to talk to. My husband had originally been invited to the whole day but he got downgraded to just the evening when the bride came to the conclusion that only people she’d willingly go and draw £150 out the bank for could be invited as £150 was the price per head, my husband didn’t make that cut. I sat in the corner for most the day while they spent hours on photos, it was only when a random guest told the bride she should have her bridesmaid in the photos that I was asked to participate. The evening came and my Dad was the DJ for the night. The bride and all her family went into one room of the venue leaving me, my dad and my husband sitting in the room with the disco set up. It was horrendous!! Then a few days after the wedding my dad bumped into the bride’s mother and made a (total lie) comment about how I’d enjoyed being a bridesmaid, the bride’s mother replied “oh no, she was just a witness”. I’d spent a fortune on the wedding - had to pay for my own hair & makeup, but my own dress, treats for the bride, paid the restaurant bill at the hen do & bought most of the cocktails plus a new suit for my husband, a cash gift as they’d requested plus drinks and petrol for the actual wedding. I never spoke to her again and my life has been much better for it!

Oh and the couple got divorced a year later.

 

[petitspois]

I once had to plan a hen do for a “friend” when I was about 20. I was the only young female invited to the wedding as the hen had completely cut off so many people through recent years that she really didn’t have any female friends. I was tasked with asking people to the hen do that she hadn’t spoken to in months/years and who knew they weren’t invited to the wedding. They were the most awkward conversations I’ve ever had. I think in the end only two people said yes and I knew neither of them and they didn’t know each other so in effect it was a night planned for 4 strangers. I booked a restaurant, a booth in a cocktail bar and strapped myself in for a terrible night. The hen spent the whole night texting on her phone, I kept trying to get the night going but it was pointless. The hen then declared at 9.30 that she had to go home as she had a job interview the next day. On the one hand I was glad that there was an excuse to end the awfulness but felt terrible that the other two attendees had travelled quite a distance for the night and now just had to turn around and leave two hours later. It was horrendous!!

The wedding wasn’t much better - I was maid of honour (read that also as the only bridesmaid so was given everything to do on my own) but you would never have known it. The bride barely spoke to me on the morning of the wedding, she got ready in one room and me in another. She forgot to organise transport to her wedding for me so I had to hitch a lift with some strangers who lived on her street. I was ignored all day and had no one to talk to. My husband had originally been invited to the whole day but he got downgraded to just the evening when the bride came to the conclusion that only people she’d willingly go and draw £150 out the bank for could be invited as £150 was the price per head, my husband didn’t make that cut. I sat in the corner for most the day while they spent hours on photos, it was only when a random guest told the bride she should have her bridesmaid in the photos that I was asked to participate. The evening came and my Dad was the DJ for the night. The bride and all her family went into one room of the venue leaving me, my dad and my husband sitting in the room with the disco set up. It was horrendous!! Then a few days after the wedding my dad bumped into the bride’s mother and made a (total lie) comment about how I’d enjoyed being a bridesmaid, the bride’s mother replied “oh no, she was just a witness”. I’d spent a fortune on the wedding - had to pay for my own hair & makeup, but my own dress, treats for the bride, paid the restaurant bill at the hen do & bought most of the cocktails plus a new suit for my husband, a cash gift as they’d requested plus drinks and petrol for the actual wedding. I never spoke to her again and my life has been much better for it!

Oh and the couple got divorced a year later.

You win the thread! That sounds utterly horrendous