Hen Do Horror Stories!

[Fanaff]

I went on a hen do organised by a girl I don’t like for a very good friend (they since fallen out)
It was a night away in a city about 1.5 hours away and we had to leave at 7am. We arrived, straight on to a train to go to a spa. In the spa for 2 hours, straight back on the train to the original city, to go to cocktail making...then to the hotel for 30 mins to get changed to go out for a meal. Then straight onto a club for a comedy club then dancing...it got to 10pm and everyone was lagging as we had been up early and literally had no time to stop! The bridesmaid (girl I didn’t like) was so cross that people wanted to leave early. Next day, nothing organised. Not even breakfast! So everyone got up and drove home. Awful!

 

[Katykatykaty]

You win the thread! That sounds utterly horrendous

The crazy thing is since writing that post I’ve thought of so many more awful things that happened as part of that hen do/wedding. It all came flooding back and I genuinely can’t believe it all happened.

I just remembered that on the morning of the wedding, I was totally ignored by the bride and her mother so the hair and makeup artists made such a fuss over me as they could tell I was feeling like tit. They kept asking why the bride was ignoring me, I literally had no answer.

 

[Happy Lady]

I can't believe some of the stories on here. When I was younger a hen night comprised of the hen, her best friends and family, and we'd go out for an evening meal and dance the night away. Everyone got to know each other and a good time, with lots of surprises, was had.

These days that doesn't seem to be good enough and brides want to outdo each other, there can be so much upset it's unbelievable and totally unnecessary.

 

[mcfeez]

I can't believe some of the stories on here. When I was younger a hen night comprised of the hen, her best friends and family, and we'd go out for an evening meal and dance the night away. Everyone got to know each other and a good time, with lots of surprises, was had.

These days that doesn't seem to be good enough and brides want to outdo each other, there can be so much upset it's unbelievable and totally unnecessary.

It's absolutely crazy now isn't it! I work with a guy who had his stag in Las Vegas and his wife to be headed off to Dubai (for context, we live in Ireland). I couldn't believe it. Those were two (pretty pricey) trips my husband I have taken as a couple the past few years!

 

[HoGi]

I had to go to a spice girls dance class as part of one hen do. It was being taught by a girl who didn't even know the song wannabee.

We then had to perform it at the wedding..

 

[mcfeez]

My SIL organised her hen do for the weekend before my wedding. One of the days was a lot of sporty type activities, throwing stuff, team sports etc. It involved helmets basically! I said I wouldn't be taking part because I didn't want to be covered in bruises, you know, 5 days from my wedding, or risk unnecessary injuries. People were so annoying about it, said I was being over dramatic.

One of the girls ended up with a partial black eye and loads had cut knees and elbows, bruises all over so I really did not think I was being dramatic.

 

[Pinkblush]

I once had to plan a hen do for a “friend” when I was about 20. I was the only young female invited to the wedding as the hen had completely cut off so many people through recent years that she really didn’t have any female friends. I was tasked with asking people to the hen do that she hadn’t spoken to in months/years and who knew they weren’t invited to the wedding. They were the most awkward conversations I’ve ever had. I think in the end only two people said yes and I knew neither of them and they didn’t know each other so in effect it was a night planned for 4 strangers. I booked a restaurant, a booth in a cocktail bar and strapped myself in for a terrible night. The hen spent the whole night texting on her phone, I kept trying to get the night going but it was pointless. The hen then declared at 9.30 that she had to go home as she had a job interview the next day. On the one hand I was glad that there was an excuse to end the awfulness but felt terrible that the other two attendees had travelled quite a distance for the night and now just had to turn around and leave two hours later. It was horrendous!!

The wedding wasn’t much better - I was maid of honour (read that also as the only bridesmaid so was given everything to do on my own) but you would never have known it. The bride barely spoke to me on the morning of the wedding, she got ready in one room and me in another. She forgot to organise transport to her wedding for me so I had to hitch a lift with some strangers who lived on her street. I was ignored all day and had no one to talk to. My husband had originally been invited to the whole day but he got downgraded to just the evening when the bride came to the conclusion that only people she’d willingly go and draw £150 out the bank for could be invited as £150 was the price per head, my husband didn’t make that cut. I sat in the corner for most the day while they spent hours on photos, it was only when a random guest told the bride she should have her bridesmaid in the photos that I was asked to participate. The evening came and my Dad was the DJ for the night. The bride and all her family went into one room of the venue leaving me, my dad and my husband sitting in the room with the disco set up. It was horrendous!! Then a few days after the wedding my dad bumped into the bride’s mother and made a (total lie) comment about how I’d enjoyed being a bridesmaid, the bride’s mother replied “oh no, she was just a witness”. I’d spent a fortune on the wedding - had to pay for my own hair & makeup, but my own dress, treats for the bride, paid the restaurant bill at the hen do & bought most of the cocktails plus a new suit for my husband, a cash gift as they’d requested plus drinks and petrol for the actual wedding. I never spoke to her again and my life has been much better for it!

Oh and the couple got divorced a year later.

£150 a head?? That's insane, more money than sense

 

[Be More Pacific]

I can't believe some of the stories on here. When I was younger a hen night comprised of the hen, her best friends and family, and we'd go out for an evening meal and dance the night away. Everyone got to know each other and a good time, with lots of surprises, was had.

These days that doesn't seem to be good enough and brides want to outdo each other, there can be so much upset it's unbelievable and totally unnecessary.

All for the 'gram my love.

 

[Phoenix Lazarus]

That story a little way back about the forthcoming groom coming to one was a bit weird. I thought the point was it was your last free night with your same-sex friends before settling down took you away from the exclusivity of those friendships.

 

[and nothing happens]

My cousin and his wife were getting married and my aunt asked me to plan the hen do. My cousin and wife both have additional educational needs, which meant obviously most of their bridal party/friends did too. So I set up a group chat, laying out what I had planned (meet at my aunts house for games and drinks, mini bus into town, area booked in a bar for drinks and food, simple enough.) And god love the girls, it’s obviously not their fault but they just didn’t understand any of what I was trying to organise. And I couldn’t get money from them as they didn’t know how to use online banking or how to go to a bank to make a transfer. It’s bad enough getting money from folk in a hen do usually, but with a group of girls who had no concept of making payments, i was tearing my hair out. My aunt ended up having to drive to half a dozen different houses to get the money from the girls. Then the night before then hen they were all messaging me like, so what’s happening tomorrow? I was like oh my god we’ve been discussing it for literally months!! I felt bad for being annoying cos they obviously weren’t doing it on purpose, but oh man the stress!!

 

[Blakelycakey]

I really think Hen dos really show people’s true colours! I didn’t want a hen do my best friend persuaded me, said I needed a last hoorah. I didn’t have many friends and felt a bit ashamed. You always see Instagram photos of big girl gangs in Marbella having an amazing time and that’s not me.

Well best friend started to organise, it problem being I only had a few close friends which she doesn’t like as they are older than me and not into the party scene like my best friend. So she didn’t invite them I wasn’t aware and in the process offended them all by telling them that maybe they were a bit too old for it. She told me she would take care of all of the organisation. I’d heard nothing for weeks asking the girls but they kept saying I don’t know I just thought that they were keeping it secret. Wrong. In the end I got added into the whatsapp group as said friend hadn’t organised anything at all! now don’t get me wrong, I’m not a bridezilla (our wedding was small and chilled), I would have happily organised my hen do from the start but the fact she said she would do it and then didn’t bother or let me know that she couldn’t organise it I would have stepped in and sorted it.

With only three weeks to go, I had a nightmare of trying to find availability, confirming numbers etc. I found a great deal and asked people for deposits, well the amount of people that said yes I can go then no or I can’t because my cat needs me or just didn’t give me an answer and ignored me. It really effected me and got me down that maybe some people in my life who I adored didn’t feel the same about me, I know we all have commitments but if it’s a no just say no! Some paid me deposits and rest promised payday so I put it all on my credit card with the promise that they’d pay me nearer the time. We booked to go to Barcelona for the weekend nothng too fancy just basic accom and cheap flights. I ended up paying for myself and two other people who still haven’t paid me back or offered to pay me back.

On meeting at the airport my best friend decided to get very drunk and loud. I was terrified we wouldn’t be let on the flight. First night there we went to a bar and she went off with a group of lads called me boring for not wanting to go off with them (she also had a partner at this time) and then worried what if something happened to her! Luckily she made it home that night.

The next day I’d organised a nice meal but everyone was moaning and didn’t want to go as they’d rather get drunk fair enough! It honestly didn’t feel like my hen do, it felt like I was on a school trip trying to please everyone.

one of the girls I didn’t know very well we met through my daughter (now like a sister to me). Bless her she organised a makeup artist and a private area in a bar for me. My actual sister, best friend and Friend from school hadn’t bothered with anything not even a novelty sash. On arrival at the bar my best friend suddenly disappeared. Didn’t see her for most of the night then my sister stated that she’d seen her leave with the lad she pulled the night before. I didn’t see her for the rest of the hen which I suppose was a good thing.

All I can say is it’s made some of my friendships stronger and really highlighted one sided friendships. My best friend did apologise but I wouldn’t call her my best friend today. If I could go back, a nice meal and a club in my hometown would have been amazing! No pressure.

 

[lemonlime]

That story a little way back about the forthcoming groom coming to one was a bit weird. I thought the point was it was your last free night with your same-sex friends before settling down took you away from the exclusivity of those friendships.

Yeah, exactly! It's not like she'll be locked away for life but it's the sentiment and when I say they haven't done tit on their own since they got together, it's not an exaggeration. I've been friends with her for over 15 years, and she and I spent time together without him tagging along twice, maybe three times over the course of past 5 years. I don't dislike her now-husband but surely that one night is where you have enough sense to tell your fiancée to go and enjoy her night with her girlfriends? It was such an awkward event. If my fiancé asked me to come to his stag night, I'd tell him to sod off and get drunk with his mates. It's bonkers that my friend invited him and even more so that he said yes.

 

[Daffodil12]

One of my close friends is getting married and she wants an away hen. It annoys me how much she expects her friends to pay? I’d rather go on holiday with my husband thanks not fork out to stay in a run down hotel with a group of bitchy girls

 

[Blakelycakey]

One of my close friends is getting married and she wants an away hen. It annoys me how much she expects her friends to pay? I’d rather go on holiday with my husband thanks not fork out to stay in a run down hotel with a group of bitchy girls

This! It’s different when you’re younger and you don’t have financial commitments but most of my friends now work part time and have children. I wouldn’t expect someone to spend money they couldn’t afford on a hen do of all things. On mine we set a budget that everyone agreed to don’t get me wrong the hotel was a bit icky but it’s only to sleep
My sister spent £1500 on three days in Marbella for her friends and then paid another £1000 on things whilst she was there

 

[Hastaggifted]

I had to go to a spice girls dance class as part of one hen do. It was being taught by a girl who didn't even know the song wannabee.

We then had to perform it at the wedding..

That sounds horrific.

 

[flamingo29]

I’d like to know what everyone’s thoughts are on chipping in for the hen’s cost?

Maybe I’m just tight but all the hen do’s I have been on (with the same group of friends) they have asked us to chip in for the hen too and whilst they were my friends (some no longer even my friends now) back in those days I didn’t have loads of extra money so always found not only splashing out hundreds of pounds + the extra cost of about £40-£50 was a lot but felt I had to because everyone else was

Again maybe I’m just tight

 

[HoGi]

That sounds horrific.

It was horrific. I dreaded it during the run up. Got there and me and two other girls were trying to work out if we could bail

The class itself was painful and we only learnt a routine to the first half of the song. At the wedding when it came on and the DJ said I understand the hens have a routine they want to show us I could have died

 

[Hastaggifted]

It was horrific. I dreaded it during the run up. Got there and me and two other girls were trying to work out if we could bail

The class itself was painful and we only learnt a routine to the first half of the song. At the wedding when it came on and the DJ said I understand the hens have a routine they want to show us I could have died

I'd have hidden in the toilets until it was over

 

[mcfeez]

I’d like to know what everyone’s thoughts are on chipping in for the hen’s cost?

Maybe I’m just tight but all the hen do’s I have been on (with the same group of friends) they have asked us to chip in for the hen too and whilst they were my friends (some no longer even my friends now) back in those days I didn’t have loads of extra money so always found not only splashing out hundreds of pounds + the extra cost of about £40-£50 was a lot but felt I had to because everyone else was

Again maybe I’m just tight

I don't mind but the last hen I attended was for my friend (female) and her wife to be - and they shared the same hen so we had to pay for both brides haha. Sort of put me off! It ended up being really pricey including my own ticket. It was an away hen and they booked it last minute and was poorly organised so was more expensive than it needed to be.

 

[Fanaff]

I’d like to know what everyone’s thoughts are on chipping in for the hen’s cost?

Maybe I’m just tight but all the hen do’s I have been on (with the same group of friends) they have asked us to chip in for the hen too and whilst they were my friends (some no longer even my friends now) back in those days I didn’t have loads of extra money so always found not only splashing out hundreds of pounds + the extra cost of about £40-£50 was a lot but felt I had to because everyone else was

Again maybe I’m just tight

No I agree! When I organised by SILs hen do, it was assumed we would all pay for her. She’s an ungrateful cow so I knew all the effort wouldn’t be appreciated so I thought why should I pay for her on top of all this work?! I would be mortified if my friends were begrudging me and paying for my place on my hen do on top of already spending a lot.