Hen Do Horror Stories!

[Sp20191]

I planned my best friend of 20+ years’ hen party for her and about 9 others and it resulted in me being demoted from Made of Honour to a ‘guest’ which I declined and I’ve never spoketo her again since.

basically the long weekend in a beach-side loft apartment with day shopping and eating, chocolate making workshop & dinner at an Italian restaurant I’d planned and booked around her ‘friends’ who had no money was not appreciated and she literally asked me ‘is this all there is?’ as we stood on the beach in the blazing sunshine with a drink in hand.

edit; just to say Bride doesn’t drink and didn’t want a boozy/party hen do so I did my best!

I was so gobsmacked and to add insult to injury she let her ‘friends’ (basically work colleagues and sister in law so maybe that says a lot) walk all over me and tell me how much better they could have planned it. Bearing in mind i spent 6 months planning hers and rounding up money (which I put in a LOT more than them) and she said ‘sorry I don’t see how you could have spent so long planning this’.

it sent me into a bit of an anxiety spiral and for about a year afterwards I had major issues with my self esteem and not feeling good enough, I’ll never forgive her for it.

What is it about hen dos and weddings that turn women into bloody knot heads?!

Why are people so greedy, what more did she want?!

If I get married (currently been with my partner 15 years and still have t got round to getting married ) I won’t even bother having a hen do and i couldn’t give a toss what the wedding is like either tbh as long as I’m married at the end of it, who cares?!

 

[emmer_moans]

I have no stories! I couldn't be bothered with doing anything more thank going for a meal with a select few. I hate large group outings. Am here for all your stories though!

 

[MissP]

I was supposed to be a MOH for someone who turned into the ultimate bridezilla. She expected a 4/5 day jaunt to Disneyland Paris (obviously with her not paying anything) and for us to all just use our holiday to suit her ON TOP OF using about 4 days’ holiday for her actual wedding. The expectation of paying hundreds for an air b&b just to go and look at dresses was just ridiculous. In the end I told her I just wasn’t up to the task and fucked her off because the dramatics and sulking just tipped me over the edge
I’ve turned down every hen do invite I’ve ever received and not regretted it once! I just went to a spa with my mum, sister and best mate the weekend before my wedding. Paid for myself and just hung out together. Don’t regret a thing.

 

[Laur91]

I went to my close friends hen last year (not a bridesmaid but by the end of it quite glad not to have been )
All along the bride had said she wanted to go abroad and this was common knowledge! Soo where did we end up going? Manchester! Also the reasoning for this is because self appointed chief bridesmaid had already been to the country that the bride wanted to go to and was trying to get pregnant so if it was in the UK could still come along.
Fast forward a few months to the bride having to be warned she is not going abroad and is understandably quite gutted! Then said chief bridesmaid gets pregnant and is due to give birth a few weeks before the hen so doesn’t even go which means we could have gone abroad all along oh also they booked a nude life drawing for one of the activities which is cringe enough anyway but they had promised there would be a bar etc, we turn up and it’s literally like a kids dance studio and the model was an older guy who usually poses for serious art classes! The whole thing was just sooo cringe & awkward oh and we paid so much for the weekend we could have gone abroad anyway. Also we were expected to chip in for the bride too and put money aside to get her a present (the bride tribes idea!) just felt really sorry for the bride tbh and she said she had the best time but wow what an essay soz

see this is my point though, regardless of what she wanted and how it turned out (cringe or awks or whatever) that was planned for her by people who have their own lives going on, their own things to spend their money on, their own jobs and families etc. Her friend was trying for a baby etc so I’m glad she had the decency to say she has the best time.

That’s something my ‘best friend’ clearly couldn’t bring herself to do after the weekend I planned for her!!

My hen do was in October...my bridesmaids did INCREDIBLE...32 hens and it was the best weekend ever. Everyone said was the best hen they've ever been off. As far as I know it wasnt too stressful...just the most special weekend with all my favourite ladies!

Jesus, 32?!? I don’t think I could even name 32 women that I know let alone 32 that id want to spend a weekend with hahaha that’s impressive!

 

[Jg182]

Not to sound ungrateful but mine was crap.
I don’t drink. My friends drove me to the nearest town, they had no real
Plans when we got there. Then decided it was best to go to a bar. They got very drunk by about 3pm. They then decided they wanted to go to karaoke. We went, they got drunker.
I asked could we pleaseee get some dinner, one coped a massive strop. I ended up driving us home, stopping at the McDonald’s drive thru on the way home. Where I ended up Paying for the order for them all. Was home and watching tv on the sofa by 8pm.

These were always the friends who got so drunk at my wedding one of them decided to have a melt down and go round telling everyone had dad had just died ( he hadn’t, he’s still alive and well. but my mum has died recently before) and the other got caught having sex in full view in a boat ( we got married at a sailing club)

Needless to say I havnt spoke to them much lately.

 

[Pickminy]

My sister's hen do was an absoloute nightmare to plan and organise. I lost count of the amount of panic attacks it gave me. Have vowed NEVER EVER to plan another hen do again. Have also vowed to NEVER plan anything for my sister again, her friends were something else. Was so glad when her wedding was over so I didn't have to see or talk to them again. It sounds extreme but it was so stressful

 

[Clickbait]

I’ve organised 6: 4 in the U.K. and 2 abroad. Last one was the start of this month and I’ve decided never again. It was the most stressful, not least because I’m also in the middle of trying to move house, but post-Covid prices and regulations just made it harder. Having to organise by committee and wait for payment slows everything down, so much so things are no longer available by the time you’ve got agreement and a deposit.

Then you have people say they’ll come, then pulling out after paying and expecting a refund within 5 mins despite you waiting 5 weeks for their money in the first place and being out of pocket yourself until somewhere refunds you (hotel room via Booking.com took 16 working days for a refund).

Trying to get anyone anywhere on time is a living nightmare not least because you’re told if you’re more than 10 minutes late your table will be given away, but you can’t go on ahead because everyone has regressed to a childlike state and are unable to follow Google maps.

Other nightmares on the weekends:
* Girl said she’d come, left me out of pocket for all her costs by not paying, not turning up and then also skipping the wedding. This was in the early days of Facebook and she was spotted at a party elsewhere drinking all night despite claiming to have the flu.

* Bride I’m no longer friends with had a meltdown because the fridge at the apartment we were staying in had a ‘funny smell’. She was offered our apartment but said no. I got them to offer a different apartment she said no. Just moaned for an hour and a half rather than getting ready and then made us late for every single thing I’d organised. This led to us missing guest list (queue jump and free) entry to a club and her kicking off and expecting us to traipse round London in heels trying to find somewhere else.

At the end of the night we could not get a taxi for love nor money (this was pre-Uber) but she refused to get in the first one that came along, then waited with the rest of us bitching about the girls who did take the taxi and about me for not organising it better. She’d booked a dodgy spa at a hotel for treatments and I’d had a paraffin foot treatment that had gone wrong and taken skin off my feet (temperature of the wax my feet were forcibly plunged into was about 3 degrees hotter than the sun) so by the time I got back to the apartment at almost 5am my feet were bleeding and took 2 weeks to heal.

* One woman who came along because the bride said she felt guilty not inviting her had a mini psychotic episode, barricaded herself in a room (she was sharing with someone) and wouldn’t let anyone in for several hours. Same woman said she’d lost her passport whilst we were on our way to the airport, got the taxi driver to turn around and then pulled it out of her bag 5 mins later saying it was a joke. I could have opened up the door and pushed her out onto the motorway to be honest.

 

[theweekend]

It's like brides forget that a hen party is for them, and not a wonderful day of fun that they've put on for the enjoyment of others (especially when they're paying for it!!). Almost no one would otherwise opt for an overscheduled weekend of forced fun, usually with a lot of strangers spanning different age ranges. Adults are busy, most with little time and even less money to spare - especially when kids are involved - and IMO it's a big ask to expect people to give up another weekend for another celebration day for your wedding.

I have a friend that became friends with a couple in her apartment block - which is nice and not always easy as you get older - having not known the bride for long she was taken aback to be invited to her hen celebrations, which consisted of a 'hag' barbecue (fine), local hen night out do with both family and friends (bit awkward but okay) and a friends boozy weekend away. She's dreading the weekend away as she's not known the bride for that long and knows no one else going, never mind the expense. She even tried to decline as the trip clashed with her boyfriend's birthday and she changed the date!!

She doesn't know what to do now as she's being chased for deposits and what not and the cost just keeps climbing. She's thinking of just writing the money off and pulling the COVID card nearer the date but it just seems so insane!! She feels bad to flake and is convinced that the bride will be fuming if she doesn't go and the friendship probably over. I've told her that she shouldn't feel bad as her invite isn't really about wanting to spend time with her - sounds mean but it's true - the bride just wants to bulk up numbers for her own enjoyment and so she looks more popular on the gram. The whole attitude around hen dos needs to change tbh - with brides realising that those who are attending are doing you a favour not the other way around

 

[Laur91]

Did you tell her she was an ungrateful cow?

I said a lot more than that! the first time we spoke after the hen party she EMAILED me and I asked that we spoke in person and that’s basically when she still stuck to her guns and said she expected more & I was like ‘ok whether you got a night in the pub and a pizza express or a week in the Bahamas you should have been grateful, right?’ But it didn’t sink in Then when she asked if I’d consider being just a guest at her wedding and not MOH I didn’t even dignify it with a response!

 

[Bette21]

My hen do was awful. My sister took over the organising, it may be worth noting that she’s 20 years older than me. so we had dinner at her boyfriends restaurant, which was very much a FAMILY place. Full of families. He put us in the basement, all alone, because she’d ordered a fucking stripper. She’d mentioned the stripper to my two other bridesmaids, and they’d said they didn’t think I’d like it. She said “oh but it will be so funny” and hired one anyway. He was practically teabagging one of my friends who was 9 months pregnant at the time and my sister ended up rolling around on the floor with him. Then we literally went to the pub over the road which was full of drunk people my sisters age doing karaoke.
I went home early.

I’m engaged again now, and if I have a hen I’m planning it myself.

 

[Northeast1988]

Not specifically hen party but included ... I was “bridesmaid” for one of my best friends before lockdown.. we went abroad for her hen which me and another bridesmaid organised everything! Including paying for the bride. She then wanted a home hen party before the wedding for his family. So planned this aswell and again bride covered, this was just before lockdown.... her fiancé’s family were awful to deal with and wanted nothing to do with the plans, they refused to even stay in the same hotel as us and organised their own dinner before meeting us as didn’t like the private venue we had picked. The night was sooo awkward

Fast forward to wedding the month later and it was postponed due to covid so didn’t go ahead. I got diagnosed with cancer last summer and lost my hair and was still getting treatment for the new wedding date in autumn 2020.

The bride messaged me all of twice, once when I was diagnosed and then once again to say she was going ahead with the new date for the wedding and to “check” I still wasn’t able to be bridesmaid.

Obviously I wasn’t. I got out of radiotherapy treatment the day of the wedding and seen she had replaced me as bridesmaid with another girl we know that we aren’t even friendly with. She still to this day has never even told me or had the manners to say about it. I only learned of the new bridesmaid via Facebook and Instagram and asked another friend of ours if that was the case as she had the same colour dress as the bridesmaids.

Feels so weird even typing that out I feel bad even saying about it

Similar - I got asked to be bridesmaid from a girl at work . Went to wedding fayres with her , dress shopping with her , all sorts
I then got engaged her planning , I chose 2020 wedding , she went for 2021
Xmas time at work I found out that she had sent all the invites out and I hadn’t got mine - thought it was odd but I just assumed that she wasn’t sending the wedding party one . Few months after that I found out she has set up a private fb group for her hen party abroad which I wasn’t part of or knew nothing about . Started to realise I had been ghosted as a bridesmaid and dropped. Gave her a few months to see if she would mention it . She didn’t so I called her out on it big style . We only know have a work friendship if you wanna call her that

 

[mcfeez]

My SIL organised her hen do for the weekend before my wedding. One of the days was a lot of sporty type activities, throwing stuff, team sports etc. It involved helmets basically! I said I wouldn't be taking part because I didn't want to be covered in bruises, you know, 5 days from my wedding, or risk unnecessary injuries. People were so annoying about it, said I was being over dramatic.

One of the girls ended up with a partial black eye and loads had cut knees and elbows, bruises all over so I really did not think I was being dramatic.

 

[petitspois]

Almost everyone wants something local-ish and less 'try hard' when they are asked to go to someone's Hen but, when it's their own, why do they do a flip and expect something outlandish?

 

[Milliehaha123]

I'm semi dreading one I've got in September.
I got invited by a girl through my current boyfriend (she is a girlfriend of one of his bezzies) and I committed (paid the deposit) because I like her and we hang out a lot as two couples.
It's a weekend away in the UK, sounds ok. Quite expensive so far.
She invited us all to a Whatsapp a few days ago and I didn't really take much notice of who was in the group (I don't know many people going so didn't really care tbh)
Someone posted a photo into the group saying 'cant wait for the reunion' or something and it was a photo of my boyfriends ex. who is a maniac!! I'm now a bit on tender-hooks. I really want to go and don't want to cancel because of someone, but some of the stories I've heard about her makes me nervous. It's not as though it's just a meal or something where I could probably avoid. AH!
I'll probably end up being her best mate by the end of it just took me by surprise! I'll keep you guys updated haha

 

[Laur91]

sorry to all of you ladies who have suffered at the hands of ungrateful bridezillas like me but not going to lie this thread is really helping me get over what happened to me haha

it’s reassuring in a way to know that there wasn’t just one crazy bitch out there that I was unlucky enough to encounter - there’s multiple!!

 

[bellinibobble]

These stories are terrifying! I am getting married abroad next year, and have no interest whatsoever in having a hen do either here beforehand, or whilst we're away. My friends have already made some grumblings about this, but I have told them, when they get married, they can do what they want then

The fact of the matter is, I'm selfish, and would rather spend my hard earned money on stuff I want/for me, than nights out or weekends away with usually a bunch of random people that I wouldn't otherwise choose to see. Same reason why we're having a tiny wedding abroad!

 

[Sp20191]

To add to my previous post... I did also organise my best friends hen do prior to my sisters. It was an absoloute breeze in comparison! Everyone was laid back (including the bride) and just paid what they needed, when they needed to and everyone enjoyed themselves.

I do think hen dos are way too over the top nowadays and a lot of it is done for social media. Someone I'm close to is off on a hen do for 4 nights long haul and flights alone are in the region of £300-£400. By the time they've paid accommodation, activities, spending money etc... It's looking to be in the £1000 region. The person I know who is going cant afford it so the majority is going on cc. It's madness to me! Luckily I don't know the bridezilla so it's not my problem

What’s wrong with a night out? I always say it’s over the top now, my brother in law was invited to 5 stag dos last year....all abroad....who can afford that?

 

[MissTeddy]

I’ve refused almost every hen invite I’ve ever received bar a couple of close friends. I’ve never gone on an abroad / holiday one - it is literally my idea of hell. Fortunately now I’m old and all my friends are married or divorced . My hen do was one night (not even an afternoon) out. That was it. my Friends all had different budgets - it’s so rude to expect people to pay hundreds of pounds.

 

[Milliehaha123]

I think I have the best one
I was invited (last minute) to a hen do in Spain by someone at work - we were close - ish but work mates mainly. I said yes because at the time I was single, wasn’t going on a girls trip that year and basically had nothing to lose!
When we got there it was a big group of her home and uni friends plus a random guy who she explained was one of her childhood family friends but he had chosen to go on her hen do rather than her fiancée stag.
It’s three nights long - we get to the last night and things are EXTREMELY boozy. We went to a cocktail making class in the day followed by a bar, boozy dinner and night out. All fine, get back at 4am and I go straight to bed (we are staying in a villa)
I wake up early to INTENSE screaming, honestly I thought there had been a murder or something. Run out and it’s the bride to be, wailing, sitting on the floor literally beside herself. Turns out In her extreme drunkness the night before she had got it on with the family friend and has done the deed !!!

Honestly was so so shocked, totally ruined the trip (obviously) and I never spoke to any of the other girls again could never look at her in the eye either after the whole situ!

 

[Hastaggifted]

My best friend of 7 years met a bloke in a club, was moved in to his flat and engaged and pregnant with in a few months. I only ever met him a few times, i didn't like him and he didn't like me..
Anyway, I was 30 weeks pregnant at the time of planning her hen do and she expected me to plan, book and pay for the whole thing, then collect the money from the guests. She wanted to see male strippers, meals out, masterclasses the lot. The planned date was 3 weeks after I was due to give birth. She booked the date knowing I would have only just had a baby. I tried to make contact with her other bridesmaids but they completely ignored any attempt I made to contact them. The other bridesmaids took over without me knowing, the bride deleted and blocked me on fb and I haven't seen or spoken to her since, 10 years later.
When it came to my wedding I had a small ceremony with just close family and a meal before the wedding as my "hen do" and it was perfect