VIDEO SUMMARY - HE CHEATED
Views have been shockingly bad for Quirkerz so she went with a clickbait title
She cracks open a tin and then is disappointed to learn that it isn't alcoholic, so she says "back in a minute" because it wouldn't be a proper video if she isn't slurring her words and gurning away...
Ugh, this is going to be a series - just what no one asked for
She's dubbing herself as everyone's crazy aunt or sister to help meander people through life. God help us.
Oh and we're jump cutting straight into it
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First Dear Helga: Person been with boyfriend for 4 years, and they have a house and two dogs, how can Helga get them to propose?
"OK girl, you need to calm your
tit down" says Helga, who made her man propose to her TWICE.
"you can't force these things" says Helga, again... who made her man propose to her... TWICE.
"there is absolutely no rush to get married BELIEVE ME!" she says, trying to put people off because of her
crappy experience
Says that they shouldn't listen to their family or anyone else for that matter, it will come from him at the right time and HE will propose when HE feels ready to, and when HE feels ready to you know that it's going to come from HIM........ erm.... waiting's great and all... but what about suggesting SHE proposes to HIM, Helga??? It's 2020!
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Next Dear Helga, person been with bloke for a long time and they're engaged, but doesn't know if he's the one and is worrying about what people will think if they split up.
"I CAN TELL YOU THIS!" She yells, "I MARRIED SOMEONE WHEN I WAS UNHAPPY IN A RELATIONSHIP AND THAT GOT ME NO WHERE!!!!!!"
"being engaged... that's personal.... that's something that you both decided to do together.... and it means kinda nothing in the big wide world"
"some people get married..." she scoffs whilst throwing her arms back like a muppet puppet "and then they break up..."
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goes on to tell them if they ain't happy in their relationship then don't waste any more time.... no advice on maybe y'know exploring options to try and make it work if they want to... or opening up to their partner about how they feel? Nope, if you ain't 'appy dump 'im.
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Next Dear Helga, person's ex ghosted them after a 7 month relationship and now has self esteem issues
Helga says the person ghosting them is immature and they're an A hole for doing it. And then says that this girl should feel excited and happy and keep her options open and not put their eggs all in one basket when meeting a new person... Says Helga.... who moved the eggs and baskets in her house on date 3....
"walk away with yer ed elled eigh and go have fun datin peepole"
"I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE AFFECT PEOPLE SOOOOO BAD THAT IT RUINS THEIR FUTURE!!!!!" she randomly yells.... "DON'T LET THEM DO THAT TO YOU!!!!"
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Next Dear Helga, Person slept with their housemate during lock down and the bloke now has another bit on the side and still tries it on.... gasps from Helga
Helga tells her to yell at him.
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Next Dear Helga, someone cheated on this person all through the pregnancy of their daughter... who the
duck is writing this shite to Helga for advice?! Go to
bleeping therapy. Jesus Christ. Wants to know how to meet someone in the pandemic.
"Honestly mate, don't put too much pressure on yer self to find someone" says the person who moved her boyfriend in after 2 months because she was scared of being on her own during lock down....
"there's nuffin wrong wiv being sing-gal.. I mean I'm not one to talk cuz I'm barely ever single.... but if I was single I wouldn't mind" As
bleeping if.
Tells the single mum to go focus on her daughter rather than find someone. Says her time will come, and again tells the single mum to go enjoy her daughter and her own space and her own time..... yup she's saying this to a single mum....
"We need to stop putting so much pressure on relationships, and not see being single as a bad thing" says the person who sees being single as a bad thing.
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Next Dear Helga, person is being pressured by their mum to have kids when all they want to do is be on their own and have cats and dogs....
Helga says "
duck YER MUM"
"WE MUST STOP LIVING OUR LIVES BY THE EXPECTATIONS OF OTHERS!"
"I really really really dislike the pressure that women have to have babies. I'm in no rush to have kids, I've got two dogs" says the girl who actively has unprotected sex and said that a pregnancy happens, it happens!
"I know I want kids at some point.... maybe" oh Helga, not only making this all about you again but also giving up on your childhood dream of being a single mum?
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Next Dear Helga, is a person who is insecure about her man having a girl as a friend and had a panic attack about it.
Helga sighs deeply
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"it sounds like you're dealing with it really well" ooof off to a bad start when you're telling someone who's having panic attacks that they're dealing with it well.... obviously they aren't yer dick.
Talks about irrational thoughts, okay... this sounds like it's going in a good direction.
"even if they did date, they don't any more.. you can be friends with exes" oop, oh dear and we were doing so well with the confidence building there...
"My best friend BEN, who's in ma band, is a boy... obviously.. and his girlfriend Beth is the.... cutest.... ever n I love boaf of dem so much.... I've always been in a band wiv boys I go on tour with them, and share beds wiv them.... I dunt mean that sumfinks gunna appen or it's dodgy or it's weird..." Hmmmmmmm sure.
Tells the girl she just needs to own up to how she feels and tell her bloke that she doesn't believe it but needs to tell him.... erm no. lol.
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Next q is another person wanting to get engaged with bloke of 2 years
"DONT FORCE IT!!!!! COME ON GIVE THEM TIME!!!!"
Why are we doing this question again? Is she drunk that she forgot she already answered it....?
Finally tells this person "Stop making men propose to us. You wanna get married YOU propose to HIM. Come on girls." she sounds over this advice giving now she's just yelling
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Next is asking about going self employed....
"I've been working from home for a few years and people think it's luxury and that you just roll out of bed and go work" well no, we all know you don't roll out of bed and go to work Helga!!
"it's very lonely at times, you have to be self motivational its sometimes hard to separate your home space from your work space...." The answer to that will be upcoming in the new office tour video I'm sure
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Helga says she works out every morning to help her feel motivated.
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Next one is: Is it ok to break up with close friends if they're not good for you anymore?
HAHAHAHAAHA!!!!! I wonder whoooo this Q is about? *cough* GROCE *cough*
"I would say so, you know in your heart what's good for you and what your boundaries are and what you can tolerate. And if someone's not making you feel good or happy absolutely"
Long pause and stare at the camera
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"Absolutely. Firm believer in that"
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Next: How to approach my house mate about selfish behavior when I'm a people pleaser?
"I totally get de peepole pleazin fing. I would always sugar coat things or wrap it up in cotton wool when I was approaching a potential confrontation " What a lieeee she'd
witch about it to the camera.
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"didn't get me anywhere" she says drunkenly putting down her drink and weirdly licking her urine booger finger
"so now I'm stone cold and say how it is. Hit the nail on the head. Don't be rude. Just to the point"
....so what was the advice? Don't sugar coat? Just be stone cold?
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She's got to go now as she's hosting her dinner party for her flange mates. Life is so hard when you work for yourself and only have time for a 13 min ramble.
Oh goody we get this the first weekend of every month, let's see if she'll fall for my baited questions again haahaa!
?! 
