This was brilliant. I've not laughed so hard in ages!VIDEO SUMMARY: EASY SKINCARE ROUTINE FOR BEGINNERS
Description: Hey! So I thought i'd share my skin routine as someone thats just getting into skin care, I would say its easy and good for beginners (like me).
Credit to Caroline Hirons for her amazing book with all the tips and basics that I have learnt
Helen thinks she's qualified enough to give skincare advice... LOL
Starting off with Helga singing "do do do do dooo" and then entering in the frame - HelgaVision is back and so is that fucking chin mic.
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Apparently, LOTS of people have requested her to do this video
She digs a stubby finger into her ear and then rubs it in her eyes
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She's revamped her skin routine and it's really working out for her, she says her skin feels the best it has in such a long time, as she squashes her chubby cheeks with her ham slabs.
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"I decided, when I hit FUR-TEE, dude... you should probably really start lookin' afta yer skin prop-leee"
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She makes a comment that now she's 30 she has to start using anti-ageing shit but then tries to cover her bases by saying "I know being 30 is still lovely and young!"
Don't get her wrong folks! She's ALWAYS had an interest in skincare and has ALWAYS used GOOD products (I think she meant to say free *cough cough*), but she never knew WHY she was using them (because they were free...duh)
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"So I did a bit ov readin', I done a bit ov readin'" she says as she stretches her eye to oblivian
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She *thinks* she has a "sort of combination" type skin, she drags her fingers down her face
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"Sometimes it can be quite dry at times, and then sometimes it can get... not oily... but shiny"
She, her mum and her grandma all have similar skin - oily but not really oily but "SHINY...ISH" later in life
"They look soooo good for their age! My mum is going to be 61 this year and she's an ABSOLUTE BABE! And my grandma did not look old, so I'm praying to the gods that I follow suit"
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She knows that she needs to drink more water "I DO TRY!"
"SO IT'S THE MORNING!" She pulls her eyes apart again,
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She's just had a shower and still has her hair in her dressing gown robe (she says she's going to do ANOTHER video on it)
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She shows us her cleanser which she got from her non-essential trip to Boots.
She slaps her face as she rubs in the cleanser.
"Simple washing my face in the morning! I do this when I get out of the shower"
She loves using a flannel on her face, she used to use face wipes ALL the time but she never felt like they took the makeup off her face and she never felt that clean after using them.
"You forget the simplicity of a flannel" She says as she pulls her face around with it.
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She lets her skin "air dry" while she cleans her "teef".... and she's trying to talk while she's got a toothbrush in her mouth. Clever.
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She's dressed now and she's using a toner, she has two which she alternates between days
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"Because I'm new to acid so I don't want to just go in hard... I made that mistake when I first got my new skincare, I frew it all on at once and then I had a reaction and my skin was like FUCCCCK! It shed a layer of my face off and then it felt AMAZING!!! .......I don't recommend it but I DID give myself a CHEMICAL PEEL!!!"
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She grabs her book to explain what acids are.
"Glycolic acid is a AHA... A.. H... A.. AHAHAHAHA!!!!"
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She keeps pronouncing it as AH HAAA! It's not fucking aha! It's A.H.A you fucking dipshit....
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She continues on reading the book to us.
"It's all very scientific!"
She puts some on a cotton pad and smooshes it into her face
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"I'm a little bit spotty at the moment because I'm on my period"
The next step is a hydrating mist "this mist is good for misting yer face before putting serums on"
Next is eye serum which she drags around her eye in a repetitive circle
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Next is another serum
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"It just SPOKE to me when I was on Look Fantastic buying it!"
The only thing that fucks her off is the pipette is so annoying, she doesn't know how to get the product out properly.
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"ON IT GOES!"
She smooshes her face again
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Keeps going on about hyaluronic acid and how hydrating it is.
"hyaluronic is basically something that, uh.... it brings water to the surface of the face... it's like hydrating but it kind of grabs onto water and brings it to the front of your face making it look really plump and alive and hydrated and fresh and...and uh, it uses water so you should always mist uh use mists and stuff before you put hyaluronic acid just so it can grab more water to sort of work with.... That's essentially my synopsis it's probably a lot more in-depth than that...."
Next is a face oil, she only uses a drop of it because it's so greasy.
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GIRL THESE FACES RIGHT NOW
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She then rolls her chins up
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She then moves on to her moisturiser. She smooshes that around her face in giant circles.
She finishes off with SPF, she puts it on everything - her face, her ears, her neck.... even her fucking grubby necklaces get a coating
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She screeches a noise into her chin mic. She is happy.
She chucks the SPF bottle on the side with a clang and that's her morning routine!
We'll see her later for her evening routine.
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"We've just had our dinner and we're all sort of winding down"
She's trying to get in the habit of taking her face off earlier in the evening, she used to do it later but finds that Fiwl is asleep so she's tiptoeing around...
She scrubs a face halo and she's blown away with them. She keeps saying "WAR TA"
She uses two cleaners.
"IT SMELLS SO GOOD"
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Holy shit she is rubbing and scrubbing that face up and down while humming....
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Back to the dressing room now. You know the drill: Ham slabs smashy stuff in face hole.
She picks her nose and then rubs it with moisturiser on to her face
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She then tells us that she goes to the bedroom, takes her sertraline tablet with a glug of water and then puts on a face oil
"If my skin's happy then I'm happy"
That's it!
- Notice
skvallertant
Chatty Member
Problems with the BMI scale aside, 18 stone as a 6'2" bloke would make him morbidly obese, and 5'2" 10 stone would be only just a little overweight. Something doesn't add up
Disneylifeonly
VIP Member
Oh absolutely, she'd put on her song and dance she does when she does black velvet or shallow, like she seems to do at every karaoke night, then if someone came along and blew her out the water, I reckon you could feel the daggers coming out her eyes and would probably get annoyed if her friends had the nerve to compliment someone else's singing.
delightfullydee
Well-known member
Lunamoon22
VIP Member
It wasn't really hers. Her mum ended up selling it, Helen wanted to move nearer the city anyway so she moved in with Conor and Roz aka the band house.
southafricanlurker
New member
Gosh I didn’t even think of that ewie, I’m sorrrrry i would never inflict that upon anyone xxurghh please dont give her any more reasons to get her fat arse out on her vlogs. 'look at this massive bruise on my cheeks everyone'
Nopesorry123
Well-known member
Can someone tell me what the money is going to ?
Is it possible for her to skate without recording it
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CherryAcid
VIP Member
I can still smell sweaty pads now lol we used to soak them in soapy water they would get rank.
Kat_Valentine
VIP Member
The caption makes her sound like she’s into beastiality. What fucking knobheadView attachment 483238
That's great girl... but either you are rolling your ankle whilst trying to pull out a wedgie or you're desperately trying to thin pose again.
Either way it ain't a cute look.
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That outfit... Clashing patterns...
delightfullydee
Well-known member
She still hasn’t changed it !I love the Elder Scrolls games but what the fuck was that video?! Nice insight to what Helen watches on YouTube
Shesaidwhat?
VIP Member
She probably did mean the Lake District you know I know she’s been a few times and a two hour drive is down the road to her.
Threw up in my mouthAnd Tuesday's work....
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Why????
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She's so triggered by reading this thread title isn't she
manufactureme
Member
Azelaic acid is brilliant for reducing redness, and specifically targets rosacea. Facetheory, who I believe are vegan and cruelty free, do a combination niacinamide and azelaic acid serum, and whilst they are mid-range, they often have discount codes available
skvallertant
Chatty Member
I totally get that! Didn't mean to have a go. Also I guess her dogs are small, I only have experience of labs and collies living on a farm, so pretty different probably!
Siennawiththetea
Member
How many spelling errorsWeekend Round-Up
Saturday 20th - Sunday 21st March
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Weird that she didn't bother to "influence" her followers about the importance of filling out the census... Ya know, actual important things. Oh no better promote your lame skating IG page and try to get followers.
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Ah, still hiding the fact that she arranged a skate group meet up, how unsurprising.
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What a fucking shite outfit
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That chunky chain bracelet looks way too small for her wrists, it looks so uncomfortable digging into her gammon joint of a forearm.
Also...
"Oerfect"
...Remember folks, life's too short for Grammarly
she must be steaming
rivers
Well-known member
Hey, it's very different. She coloured in using patterns.It’s absolutely shite, is what it is. Looks like when you’d write your own name in bubble letters on your books at school.
(I'm trying to give her the benefit of the doubt, hard as it is, but maybe I should stop doing that as she makes it difficult)