WELCOME TO THREAD #15
Helen Anderson - None of the rock all the rolls
Big thank you to @ekl2000 for the most voted for title!
59 votes
Helen Anderson - None of the rock all the rolls
Big thank you to @ekl2000 for the most voted for title!
59 votes
PREVIOUSLY ON QUIRKERZ.....:
▷(TW: Mental Health) THAT REAL TALK VIDEO
- Saw that Sammi Maria had got a lot of views for this kind of video so our Helga just has to copy it
- Spoke about her experience 3 months into therapy, antidepressants and weight gain
- The video was incredibly rushed, she filmed the same evening it went up and gave herself only an hour to edit and upload it to YouTube
- Says she doesn't want to tell people what to do while telling people what to do
- Oh, and she quotes fucking SHREK at the end of it
(Just putting the rest of this in a spoiler tag incase people want to skip over the content summary)
- Sits in her depressed pit, which is her usual spot on the sofa of nightmares, and tells everyone to get a duvet for their sofa as it's a 'game changer' (it's not, it just makes depression worse)
- Before Christmas, she had the mentality that being on antidepressants makes you a failure
- Has been on Sertraline for a couple of months and she's acting like they are happy pills that have cured her little low period
- Googled PMDD and thinks she has it, so went to her doctor and then acts all high and mighty saying that it's not because her doctor is bad, but her doctor didn't know what PMDD was so Dr Helen had to explain it to her (the doctor doesn't think she has it)
- Constantly goes on about being mad at herself for not getting help for her depression sooner
- Says she's excited about her work again, yet as this video proves she's not going to bother putting in the actual work to produce content that isn't contradictory, uneducated, ill-informed, dangerous, verbal diarrhoea
- Claims she wants to end the stigma on depression but also wants to add to the stigma by starting a revolution and scrapping the medical name "anti-depressants" and rename them "mood levellers" - uneducated cow doesn't realise that mood stabilisers already exist and are primarily used to treat bipolar disorder
- Claims she has gained a stone since last March (yet still magically remains a size 14)
- Says her ONLY joy in life is eating and drinking
- Places the blame on the pandemic for her weight gain, doesn't take responsibility for herself
- She previously said in a podcast back in September that she was happy with her size and wasn't looking to lose anything but wants to maintain it, 5 months later she absolutely hates the weight she's put on but isn't going to do anything about it yet, she's just going to eat everything she wants because she will just lose the weight one day
- Before Christmas, she had the mentality that being on antidepressants makes you a failure
- Has been on Sertraline for a couple of months and she's acting like they are happy pills that have cured her little low period
- Googled PMDD and thinks she has it, so went to her doctor and then acts all high and mighty saying that it's not because her doctor is bad, but her doctor didn't know what PMDD was so Dr Helen had to explain it to her (the doctor doesn't think she has it)
- Constantly goes on about being mad at herself for not getting help for her depression sooner
- Says she's excited about her work again, yet as this video proves she's not going to bother putting in the actual work to produce content that isn't contradictory, uneducated, ill-informed, dangerous, verbal diarrhoea
- Claims she wants to end the stigma on depression but also wants to add to the stigma by starting a revolution and scrapping the medical name "anti-depressants" and rename them "mood levellers" - uneducated cow doesn't realise that mood stabilisers already exist and are primarily used to treat bipolar disorder
- Claims she has gained a stone since last March (yet still magically remains a size 14)
- Says her ONLY joy in life is eating and drinking
- Places the blame on the pandemic for her weight gain, doesn't take responsibility for herself
- She previously said in a podcast back in September that she was happy with her size and wasn't looking to lose anything but wants to maintain it, 5 months later she absolutely hates the weight she's put on but isn't going to do anything about it yet, she's just going to eat everything she wants because she will just lose the weight one day
▷CRINGE ADVERTS
-call up Danni who's a huge fan and totally wasn't expecting her call. Helen kept the box of goodies
- Does some 'acting' for a McDonald's advert, shows us a close up of her crusty, burned retinol nose
- The acting reminded us of her terrible acting attempt she made for her lookbook, where the segment made no sense and was just there for her to say "edgy" words like "cunt" (which she bleeped out)
- Does an AD for a new razor, looks like she photoshopped water. Gets a comment from her friend saying that it's perfect for a smear test (implying that having a hairy vag isn't ideal for a smear test) and grossly compared it to looking like a baby if you wanted thrilling times. The comment got some backlash before Helen replied saying don't worry, it's the comment was in reference to a conversation they were having the other day. Her friend later complains about the "comment police" who called her out over her perverted comments
▷ALL THE BORING VIDEOS
- Uploads a video teaching people how to do a gallery wall... hangs up a bunch of pictures all wonky above her window and calls it a day.
- Uploads a video dedicated to her viewers who have the same interests as her... how to shove regular earrings in stretched ears.
- Says she was going to get her lobes sewn up, but now she rather likes her cat bum, droopy ear look because it makes her look like a pirate. So in Helen terms, expect to see them sewn up at some point very soon!
- Says that she wants to try out weighted earrings. Which in Helen terms means she'll never, ever try them.
- Says she knows for a fact that her viewers have the same interests, yet her comment section attracts anti maskers, anti-lockdowners, anti-coviders, and anti-vaxxers. She leaves these comments up, yet will very quickly delete any comments which aren't licking her bum.
- After claiming that she knows what her viewers like... she only gets a whopping 4.3k views on the video.
- Jumps on the skating bandwagon and posts a new video about her brand new Moxi skates, she says she got them because they're popular, but also because got messages from people about some "bad tit went down" with her Impalas which she bought a couple of months ago, although she's still going to use them.
- The "bad tit" was her worry about her Impala skates falling apart and, unsurprisingly, not about the unpaid POC and racism issues
▷THAT FIWL Q&A VIDEO....
- Clickbaits her audience by titling her video as a cook along, yet we only get to see Fiwl chop up some green beans and peel a potato
- Gets her followers to ask Fiwl some questions... the majority of Q's she picked was about her
- Asks what a plum is, then yells PUT A PLUM UP YER BUM
- She awkwardly strokes Fiwl, and he physically recoils
- Fiwl revealed that knew her before they dated because he was friends with her ex-husband Maff
- She asks him when he's going to propose... and grumps when he says 2050
- Echoing what Maff has said about her in the past, Fiwl says that he gets annoyed with her jumping on him as soon as he gets in the door from work
▷SHE'S TOTALLY NOT PINNING ALL HER HOPES ON JUNE 21ST
- Since the government announced the plans of easing lockdown in the UK, the date June 21st is all Helen is obsessed about and will be hitting the pub as soon as it opens
- She acts like she hasn't seen her friends or hugged her family, yet she's often seeing her friends for 'walks' and has filmed herself hugging her mum at Christmas
- Is excited about parties with friends, pub lunches, weekends away and hugging people... yet again these are ALL the things that she's been able to do during the pandemic, she had multiple BBQ parties, the illegal 3 day home download Festival with her friends, a huge amount of pub lunches with her friends, restaurant outings with her friends, lots of weeks and weekends away to Scotland, Wales, Bath, the South East, Fiwl's birthday trip. She hasn't missed out on ANYTHING
- She's still not helping slow the spread, she's off out meeting Grace every day for dog walks, they've been spotted by a few local tattlers who have commented that she wasn't social distancing
- Helen's doing everything she can to not stay at home, popping to Asda on the regular just to get some lunch and snacks,taking multiple trips out and about and meeting up with friends
- She's booking non-emergency appointments just to get out of the house - after commenting about her back and shoulder no longer giving her problems, she's suddenly booked another appointment to see an osteopath.
- She got a non-emergency appointment to fix her chipped tooth (after saying she quite liked the look of it), and then complained after getting it done how it wasn't 100% right
- Even Fiwl is excited and posts that duck face / edited out cigarette picture of Helga
- Posts multiple stories about being excited about eventually seeing friends, going to beer gardens, having a hair cut, going to a group workout class etc... forgetting that she's already done all that shit multiple times during the pandemic
▷"SOMETHING AMAZING / WEIRD HAPPENED AND I'VE BEEN CRYING NON STOP BUT I'M FINE AND NOT GOING TO TELL YOU, I JUST WANT ATTENTION"
- Posts an attention-seeking post saying that something happened which made her emotional all evening, thanked her family and friends for being there for her and that she was "fine"
- Makes sure to get maximum attention by mentioning her "children" in her post
- Predictions for her "news" are:
* Her divorce is finalised
* Fiwl proposed
* she thought she was out of mini mangums but found one hiding in a box
* She finally got that bogey out of her nose that she's been digging around for years for
- Follows on the next day by assuring people that she's fine and not pregnant after getting messages asking her
- This reminded us of the time when posted about being in hospital just saying she was fine", most likely a pity post to get more likes and followers for her band page as she posted about them at the same time
▷OTHER QUIRKY THINGS FROM QUIRKERZ
- She can count to 13
- She leaves her rotten apples, which are incredibly toxic to her dogs, all over the garden
- Claims she's a "plant mom" yet all her indoor plants have been neglected and died and she can't be arsed to wrap her tropical plants to protect them from winter
- Complains about a woman being impatient at the recycling centre, cracks out the line "It's not one rule for one and one for everyone else" which is hilarious considering her lockdown rule-breaking antics. It's not one rule for you and one rule for everyone else, Helga!
- Asks her audience if having a dog moving around in your jumper is the same feeling as being pregnant
- Can't spell THANK YOU, spells it THAK YOUI!!
- Doesn't bother to wear a helmet or safety gear when riding a dirt bike or when roller skating. What a fantastic influencer.
-Doesn't wear a helmet when skating, gets comments about lack of helmet and those people get jumped on by Helen molluscs, with brilliant quotes such as “sO jUst bECaUsE ShE HaS a FoLLoWiNG HeLeN hAs tO bE tHe piCtUrE oF pERfECt ReSpOnsiBiLiTY?!” Helen replies saying that you risk yourself EVERY DAY, even when you go for a run, which is a ridiculous comparison
- A couple of days later she backtracks and gets a helmet, then has to point out that she's wearing it, while wearing it, and repeats "SAFETY FIRST!" while tapping it
- Weirdly outs Grace for hiding an activity from her on Apple watch activities, most likely because she was hanging out with Mark's new girlfriend
- She has 65% follower authenticity and 3.7% engagement rate on IG
- Gets asked in her Q&A about how she's found the motivation to exercise... she acts like she's cracked the code, yet all she's done had the luxury to be able to pay someone to motivate her
- Is a copy and paste of AMYINSTAG, copying Amy's style, skates, the same Christmas glitter suit, the same snakeskin two piece, the same cowboy boot tattoo, she even went out and bought the same disco ball plant pot after Amy posted herself holding one.
- Helen manipulates Grace into buying a pair of skates so she can go to the park with her and take photos for her IG
- When Grace couldn't film her skating, she makes Josie supervise her skating. Because she can't do anything alone
- Posts about all the outfits she's going to wear on June 21st... why?
- Yet another car accident, this time she reversed out her drive and into a stationary car, she decides to take yet another non-essential trip to Starbucks to cheer herself up. She has a history of being a shit driver
- Posts about her skin being back and better than ever after taking a break from products since her retinol disaster... yet she puts a filter on her video and has lied about giving her skin a break as she's posted videos and photos of her face with a bunch of products on it
- Mispells 'would' as 'Faldo'
- Has shit views so has to ask people if they watch her YouTube videos, asks why they do/don't watch and asks for ideas for content
- Flexes that she made £2000 in a week from selling her posters
- Created a virtual work out and chat event with her PT Kat, charges people £7.50 to get her advice on diet and fitness. Claims that she has a realistic approach to fitness and nutrition. After posting her event, she posts a video complaining about getting out of breath when doing basic tasks
▷PICTURE / VIDEO HIGHLIGHTS:
Attachments
blessed 
Just do it x
