VIDEO SUMMARY: I'M SCRUFFY AND SCRAPBOOKING | WEEKEND VLOG
DESCRIPTION: I didn't do much other than looking like a thumb and a bird's nest. But I started my scrap book!
It's Saturday she's going to get
tit done as the house is a
tit hole after birthday celebrations have been had.
She's going to do the housework and then treat herself with a "BARF"
Fil's gone to work.
Friday she had her virtual party, it was nice to see her friends but "it's not the same" she found zoom chaotic because the audio is funny and you can't hear anyone. She feels like she's shouting at the screen. Helen, you always
bleeping shout.
We get a demonstration of her shouting.
She's going to edit her birthday vlog today "weird time thing..."
When this is all over she's going to have a MASSIVE garden party where everyone comes and everyone brings lots of birthday cakes
"HAVE A MASSIVE PARTY TO CELEBRATE ALL THE PARTIES AND ALL THE BIRTHDAYS WE WEREN'T ABLE TO SPEND WIV EACH OTHER"
"To summarise my birthday weekend... I'll stop talking about it soon, I promise... I feel like lockdown birf-day woz really nice coz it was like no pressure to do anyfing ova da top, like it's my firty eff, yes I wonted to go on 'oliday and do that WHATEVER. But like you don't av that pressure to feel like you have to do something crazy or like you don't have to feel like youre not doing enuff for yer birf-day"
Didn't you just say you wanted to plan a massive birthday party to make up for ALL lockdown birthdays??
"Social media puts a lot of pressure on individuals when it comes to celebrations and like how to celebrate things properly or like making the most out of it"
Rambles on about how social media makes people compete and compare with each other
"I feel like, yeah, there's like this expectation to just DO something, always DO something, or try and LEVEL UP each year, especially when it's a big celebration. There's no pressure literally. Stay at home, have a lovely day, eat your favourite foods...just do what YOU WANT TO DO"
Cut to her showing off her casserole dish.
Cut to her out of frame goes "HELEN, HELEN, HELEN, HELEN, FOCUS, FOCUS, FOCUS, FOCUS" She has this 'thing' when she can't concentrate on one task at a time. Now she's screeching into her chin mic. We don't know why. We have a great view of her sink still.
Oh, she swivels the camera around. She's unboxing the casserole dish.
Keeps going on about not being able to focus on one thing and getting distracted.
She grabs a knife
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She's been talking to her therapist about her distraction problem
She starts using her knife to unscrew the top of the dish.
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She says she tells her therapist about her coffee table analogy as a way to describe her problem:
Imagine her trying to tidy her coffee table, and she's picking up sweet wrappers and glasses, and then she sees a candle that needs cleaning or something across the room, but she's still got handfuls of sweets and handfuls of glasses and she's trying to juggle something else and then she sees something else!!!!!
She's all over the
bleeping place.
She wants to do everything at once.
"Is it le crew sat that do the casserole dishes? La KREW sat?"
Goes on about another casserole dish that Le Creuset do of Han Solo where he's frozen like:
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"FOUR HUNDRED POUNDS FOR THAT CASSEROLE DISH!!!!!!" she screams "I WANT IT SOOOOO BAD!!! I'M DEFINITELY NOT GOING TO SPEND FOUR HUNDRED POUNDS ON A CASSEROLE DISH... COS THAT'S A LOT OF MONEY"
(I'm sure we'll see it in her meaty hands soon)
She's going to clean up and chill now.
Clocks herself in the viewfinder and says she looks rough.
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Now she's dancing and miming to planet rock.
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Cut to the dining room. She's just finished editing the birthday vlog, apparently, it was realllly, reallly long (it was only 30 mins lol)
Danni sent her a plant.
Helga is excited about her birthday vlog going up because "it's just a joyful, lovely, happy vlog"
She's trying to contact Fil because she's itching for an excuse to go out, she's noticed that he didn't take his lunch with him so she's planning on dropping it over to him.
Cut to later and Fil's back, looking as miserable as ever. We get a shot of Helga's arse hanging over the bench as she digs into the greenest dinner she's had in a long time.
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"yeah....." agrees Fil
Helga laughs at her diet of "cake and carbs and booze" that she's been living off of.
Helen's got an email from her car insurance, her renewal's going to be £750
Fil likes cars, so he shouts an excitable "
bleeping hell!!"
Helen can't believe that on go compare it's only £200. Shocking.
"How can they get away with charging ME that much money?!?"
Fil wants to know if the cheaper price includes him on the insurance too.
"YEAH - EVEN WITH MY POINTS ON TOO!" Why is it not surprising that Helen has points on her licence?
Helen changes the subject about how she has to fight her lazy self when she's on the sofa and asks Fil isn't it better now they actually got their lazy arses up and cooked proper food.
Next day
Helga's had the laziest Sunday morning, she's well tired.
Now she's inventing something in the air fryer.
She's grated two potatoes, squeezed the water out, put some other
tit with it and she's shoved it in the air fryer and it's doing it's thing to make an air fryer hash:
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Now we're scrapbooking, she's going to fill it out every time something KEWL happens to her. She's planning the first page to say "This book belongs to HELEN"
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She's excited for her kids to look through it when she's old
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She can't spell birthday.
She reckons that she'll fill out the book in 10 years.
She's obviously been reading Tattle as now she's creating a "hunt through the freezer and fridge, use up left overs" dinner
She's got chips, beans, chicken kiev balls, cheese and turkey twizzlers....
Wait how is this a slap anything together meal...? get rid of the cheese and twizzlers, and you have an actual normal meal.... chips, beans and kiev balls... she can make two or three meals from what she's just created.
bleeping hell. Useless.
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Helga is lounging on the sofa and drawing her and Fil's name, talking about It's a Sin tv show and how being gay in the 80s and aids were "kewl". She realises what she just said.
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She bought a bunch of skincare on look fantastic because of the book she's been reading.
That's all
. Also she needs to turn that air fryer down I haven’t got one but I’d imagine if all your food is coming out burned it’s too hot/ in too long.
Other times her behaviour mostly impact my brain.