I agree with the other posters, get out now before he screws with both your heart and your head. You've only been together 5 months and he's already shown you who he is. He's shown you a red flag, so see it and run.@BettyCrocker are you actually my mum?!No in all seriousness thank you for the straight talking. I know 5 months is nothing but it felt like one of those ‘when you know, you know’ things. Literally until this week. If I ask him if he’s been in contact with someone he’d only deny it so I guess I won’t know. Probably going to end up single by the end of the night, if he can fit me in
Agree with this. Your gut is very rarely wrong.@holliebollie I wouldn’t ask him if he’s been in contact with someone. Although @BettyCrocker is absolutely right, that’s more than likely the reason he’s gone weird, he’ll only gaslight you and make you feel like a psycho for asking. Men are experts at making women feel crazy for confronting them about something they absolutely are doing and I’m speaking from experience
You know in your gut when something is wrong and don’t let him pull the “I’m feeling shit about this week” nonsense either.. gaslighting again. You know his behaviour is off, he knows his behaviour is off, but rather than tell the truth, he’ll have you blaming yourself and wishing you’d never said anything.
I would cut and run if I were you. Don’t text him or call him and see if he gets in touch with you first. If he doesn’t, you know where you stand and you’ve had a lucky escape.
You're not gullible at all. You just wanted to believe that what you had with him meant something to him too. Hope you're okay?Well he’s just ditched me... mixed feelings, gutted it’s over as I was previously very happy. But I WAS FUCKING RIGHT! I knew it! He’ll be the one regretting it by tomorrow. I feel strangely happy that I was right, it wasn’t me being overly sensitive. He swears that no one else has contacted him or anything, and I do believe him but maybe I’m a gullible sap.
I’m so grateful for all these responses! It’s really helpful to get advice beyond my friends and family that really cements it’s not ok for him to just up and leave, come back and do it again and think he can waltz back in when he’s sorted his head out (if he does that this time!). I feel like I should’ve been stronger the first time he did it to not take him back and this is perhaps just time to rip off the plaster. Doesn’t stop it hurting though, this defo wasn’t how I planned to spend life coming out of lockdown! @LateG0ssiper i hope things are slowly getting better for youI've had the worst 6 weeks of my life and at times I've felt like I can't carry on but knowing I'm not alone has helped. Feel free to share as much as you feel comfortable with, don't ever be afraid to ask for advice or come just to vent.
Always trust the gut feelings they are always right at least you didnt waste more time he probably will come back when you are moving on believe in yourself xWell he’s just ditched me... mixed feelings, gutted it’s over as I was previously very happy. But I WAS FUCKING RIGHT! I knew it! He’ll be the one regretting it by tomorrow. I feel strangely happy that I was right, it wasn’t me being overly sensitive. He swears that no one else has contacted him or anything, and I do believe him but maybe I’m a gullible sap.
Don’t believe a word he says. He’s full of shit.Well he’s just ditched me... mixed feelings, gutted it’s over as I was previously very happy. But I WAS FUCKING RIGHT! I knew it! He’ll be the one regretting it by tomorrow. I feel strangely happy that I was right, it wasn’t me being overly sensitive. He swears that no one else has contacted him or anything, and I do believe him but maybe I’m a gullible sap.
A hot body will never make up for someone treating you like shit. I promise. You are worth more than that. Don’t waste time on someone like this, or you will miss out on the really good guy in doing so.Thank youNumber deleted, WhatsApp thread gone, he was already blocked on fb (to stop me stalking!) and I don’t have instagram... I KNOW full well he’ll regret this. Hopefully by the time he sends that, ‘I don’t know what I was thinking’ text, I’ll have moved on and won’t be sucked in. Sad though as he had the best body I’ve ever seen in real life and before this week it was the happiest I’ve been. Oh well. Can’t force him to try long distance. Hope he enjoys living in an incestuous puddle
This is something that I'm struggling with, even the day before he left we were talking about plans for the house. I find it too overwhelming to try and think any further ahead than a couple of weeks at the moment. My whole life will have to change.Had an awful nights sleep last night - I just keep replaying conversations in my head. I think the hardest part is letting go of the future I thought I was going to have with him and realising he’s not the man I thought he was.
How is everyone else today?
Do you have kids to think about? Even the silliest things are setting me off this morning, we agreed I would leave his family group WhatsApp (I wanted to post a final message and make it clear it was HIS decision - without being shitty) but I’ve been putting it off because it’s like the beginning of the end. Even if my husband said he know realises he’s made a mistake that trust will be gone. What’s your current situation - are you still sort of in limbo or confirmed this is now a separation? Sending you lots of healing vibes xThis is something that I'm struggling with, even the day before he left we were talking about plans for the house. I find it too overwhelming to try and think any further ahead than a couple of weeks at the moment. My whole life will have to change.
That's a completely normal part of the process, and in time you'll suddenly realise that you're thinking ahead to further than just a few weeks. Getting over it doesn't happen over night, but one day you will suddenly realise that it just doesn't hurt the way it used to.This is something that I'm struggling with, even the day before he left we were talking about plans for the house. I find it too overwhelming to try and think any further ahead than a couple of weeks at the moment. My whole life will have to change.
Your post just made me cry (in a good way!). Thank you so much xThat's a completely normal part of the process, and in time you'll suddenly realise that you're thinking ahead to further than just a few weeks. Getting over it doesn't happen over night, but one day you will suddenly realise that it just doesn't hurt the way it used to.
Only a few weeks ago you couldn't think past the next hour and now you're thinking a few weeks ahead. That's progress and you should be proud of yourself. You've managed to survive and go about your life this far without him and that shows just what you are capable of, and it will be showing him too that you can manage without him.
You're taking back control of your life and that is the best thing you could ever do for yourself. You're stronger than you think even if you don't feel it. Sending you love.
No we don't have kids, didn't plan on having them. I find that I get really upset at the weekends, it's hard being home alone when it's the time you'd usually spend together. We haven't really discussed it properly since he first left and said it was over for him, I said I'd leave him to it while he started therapy. I'm still hoping he'll sort out whatever is going on and talk about coming home but I know that might not happen.Do you have kids to think about? Even the silliest things are setting me off this morning, we agreed I would leave his family group WhatsApp (I wanted to post a final message and make it clear it was HIS decision - without being shitty) but I’ve been putting it off because it’s like the beginning of the end. Even if my husband said he know realises he’s made a mistake that trust will be gone. What’s your current situation - are you still sort of in limbo or confirmed this is now a separation? Sending you lots of healing vibes x
So far okay today, although I just feel like everywhere I look in my house there are reminders of him! I still have the “what if” moments and tears but I’ve got through half today and that’s a start! Hope your weekend is also better xYour post just made me cry (in a good way!). Thank you so much x
No we don't have kids, didn't plan on having them. I find that I get really upset at the weekends, it's hard being home alone when it's the time you'd usually spend together. We haven't really discussed it properly since he first left and said it was over for him, I said I'd leave him to it while he started therapy. I'm still hoping he'll sort out whatever is going on and talk about coming home but I know that might not happen.
I know what you mean about the beginning of the end, that's why I've been putting off talking about what happens with the house. It's such a difficult time, so much to think about. I hope you can distract yourself today and feel better x
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