Thanks, going to get into bed early and watch TV. I feel exhausted, that hasn't helped x
I know what you mean, it feels weird knowing everywhere is going to open up and and not being able to make plans with him. Hope you're feeling better.
- Status
New to Tattle Life? Click "Order Thread by Most Liked Posts" button below to get an idea of what the site is about:
Just checking in, hope you’re ok @LateG0ssiper 
Thank you, really appreciate that. The rest of the week hasn't been so bad, maybe because we've been in touch regularly over getting some works on the house sorted. I haven't been publicly embarrassing myself like the other night on the trainJust checking in, hope you’re ok @LateG0ssiper
All contact has been friendly enough but it still feels like he's not himself, I can't quite put my finger on it but something is different. I think in a couple of weeks I'd like to have a proper talk with him again. I'm just surviving for now, you know?How are you getting on?
Glad to hear you've been feeling a bit betterThank you, really appreciate that. The rest of the week hasn't been so bad, maybe because we've been in touch regularly over getting some works on the house sorted. I haven't been publicly embarrassing myself like the other night on the train
How are you getting on?
Hope everyone who is going through a break up is doing okay. I've been through a lot of bad things in my life but I came through them and so will you. I've been heartbroken and cried an ocean but my tears dried and so will yours. Try something new, even if it's a new haircut ( when you can have them). Social media was not around when this was happening for me and I'm grateful for that. My advice is to not contact the person, block them on everything and resist the temptation of peeking . If they've ended the relationship they may be further ahead of you and ready for another relationship. If that happens, let it go. Things will get better and I'm sending you all a massive hug xx
Can anyone offer some advice did no contact for 5 weeks.. i ignored 3 of his calls, he messaged saying we have stuff to clear up can we speak. I agreed to speak & he was crying down the phone saying hes struggling, he misses me, its soo hard, how am i so strong (he left me) i had to in the end cut the conversation because i felt like he didnt want me back just wanted to cry. There was nothing to clear up. & he said sorry for calling i wont phone again. Is there still hope for me? just crying today, feel like i want to msg him. Any advice?
Don’t message him. He was just wanting an ear to listen to his shite. Ignore it. Put your phone away and go out, get some fresh air, go stretch your legs.
This
It’s always the same story! They work their way back in and then leave you AGAIN! I’ve been in the on off situation and I was treated like tit and it messed me up! @Lollyy you’ve done so well to go NC for that long I suggest you carry on. My ex did the same to me even though he left me and I went running back. He left me a second time and the heart ache was the same all over again. He said he was suicidal and was begging me to meet up with him when he knew I was seeing someone else a year and half later! Thank god I saw sense that time.
Was he bothered about your feelings when he dumped you? I doubt it so carry on NC and move on to bigger and better things. Easier said than done but you’ll save yourself more heartache
Agree. Don't message him and dont give into him easily. Don't become his comfort blanket because you deserve to be more than just someone's safety net.
Take the time to think of yourself and work out exactly what you want and when you know, don't settle for anything less. You will be doing yourself a huge favour in the long run. Future you will thank you for the steps you take today.
So glad you’re feeling a bit better. After 13 years of marriage you’re entitled to want to have a proper talk and he should give that to you.Thank you, really appreciate that. The rest of the week hasn't been so bad, maybe because we've been in touch regularly over getting some works on the house sorted. I haven't been publicly embarrassing myself like the other night on the train
How are you getting on?
I’m ok. Wondering whether to make another go of this relationship or not. Seems like there’s too many things still in the way, and he did break my heart. but I can’t deny the fact I love him
I really wish social media was not around, I keep thinking how much easier breakups must have been without the constant need to stalk an ex’s social media!
Thanks @LateG0ssiper for pointing me in the direction here, just copying my post from another thread -
my husband of 2.5 years left last week. We’d been together 8 years and he said he’s just not happy anymore. I know my mental health has taken a big downward turn since lockdown and I am so torn between hoping he comes back and accepting it and moving on with my life. I’m so ashamed as I don’t know anyone else aged 31 and divorced! Does anyone have a similar experience?
my husband of 2.5 years left last week. We’d been together 8 years and he said he’s just not happy anymore. I know my mental health has taken a big downward turn since lockdown and I am so torn between hoping he comes back and accepting it and moving on with my life. I’m so ashamed as I don’t know anyone else aged 31 and divorced! Does anyone have a similar experience?
I'm so sorry to hear what you're going through.
There is absolutely no shame in being divorced at any age. Some things just don't work no matter how hard or how much we want them to. I know this will sound bad and not what you want to hear, but sometimes some things happen for a reason we can't see yet.
Did your husband say why he wasn't happy anymore? You said your mental health has declined since lockdown, was this something he said was making him unhappy?
Trust me, things do get better after a break up. You do find your feet again and you do find the strength to move on eventually. Ways to help this are to solely concentrate on you and what you truly need right now, aside from him. Do things that make you happy, no matter how small. Take a long bath and get some music on. Lose yourself in a book. Paint your nails. Treat yourself to a takeaway and a movie box set. Talk to friends and remind yourself of who you were before you were a wife. What made that person happy?
I'm sending you loads of love
It must be hard to know where to go from here. I don't know what else to say as you're in such a difficult position.So glad you’re feeling a bit better. After 13 years of marriage you’re entitled to want to have a proper talk and he should give that to you.
I’m ok. Wondering whether to make another go of this relationship or not. Seems like there’s too many things still in the way, and he did break my heart. but I can’t deny the fact I love him
I really wish social media was not around, I keep thinking how much easier breakups must have been without the constant need to stalk an ex’s social media!
I know how you feel, the thought of being divorced in my 30s fills me with dread, I really thought my marriage was great and would be forever (together 13 years, married almost 7).
Lockdown has affected a lot of relationships, it seems it has caused mental health issues with my husband as everything came out of the blue and I'm still in shock over it all. How have you left things with your husband? Are you still in contact? Are you talking things through?
Sending you love and support, I am still finding it difficult to come to terms with and am here to talk whenever you feel like it.
No shame in being divorced at any age. My ex (the one who caused me to make this thread) was divorced at 30. Lockdown has really had everyone’s mental health ruined
sending you love Thanks all We’ve had a bumpy past few months (him packing and leaving - taking me by total surprise) saying he no longer wanted the same things (kids, big house etc) but after 3 weeks and lots of talking came back. He had another wobble in February but didn’t actually leave, and today I suspected he had packed some things. He said he was only thinking about it and if I hadn’t confronted him he wouldn’t have left! We are having very minimal chat at the moment, mostly agreeing what we do with the house and our dog, but I feel like he’s yet again made a rash decision and will be back begging forgiveness for his bad judgement soon. He was really weird about me asking him to cancel our summer holiday which makes me think he sees this as a reversible thing? It’s such a headf*ck
We’ve had a bumpy past few months (him packing and leaving - taking me by total surprise) saying he no longer wanted the same things (kids, big house etc) but after 3 weeks and lots of talking came back. He had another wobble in February but didn’t actually leave, and today I suspected he had packed some things. He said he was only thinking about it and if I hadn’t confronted him he wouldn’t have left! We are having very minimal chat at the moment, mostly agreeing what we do with the house and our dog, but I feel like he’s yet again made a rash decision and will be back begging forgiveness for his bad judgement soon. He was really weird about me asking him to cancel our summer holiday which makes me think he sees this as a reversible thing? It’s such a headf*ckThank you so much - much as it’s obvious awful for you and I wouldn’t wish this feeling on anyone, it’s really comforting to know I’m not the only one going through this x
Don't wait around for a guy that can't make up his mind about you.Thanks all
Thank you so much - much as it’s obvious awful for you and I wouldn’t wish this feeling on anyone, it’s really comforting to know I’m not the only one going through this x
Trust me, been there and done it when it comes to a guy packing up and leaving, then deciding he made a mistake and coming back only to do the same again. If you allow it, it will only become a toxic cycle of hurt and devastation for you. Rarely is there a happy ending in scenarios like this. And even if you do let him come back, how long till you're secretly wondering and worrying if he's planning to leave you again?
That sort of nonsense does nothing for your mental wellbeing.
No matter what, it will always be something you did. Please don't let yourself get muck around. They want to leave or end it but will always try to keep you on an elastic line, pushing you away but just as you are feeling a little better they wind you back in, rinse and repeat.Thanks all
Thank you so much - much as it’s obvious awful for you and I wouldn’t wish this feeling on anyone, it’s really comforting to know I’m not the only one going through this x
I've had the worst 6 weeks of my life and at times I've felt like I can't carry on but knowing I'm not alone has helped. Feel free to share as much as you feel comfortable with, don't ever be afraid to ask for advice or come just to vent.Thanks all
Thank you so much - much as it’s obvious awful for you and I wouldn’t wish this feeling on anyone, it’s really comforting to know I’m not the only one going through this x
Hi everyone, hoping someone has a word of wisdom as all I’ve got is my mum and she’s as blunt as a spoon.
Been with someone for 5 months which I know isn’t long but until this week, we were talking about future stuff like moving to where he lives once my daughter finishes exams. He recently moved back to his hometown, three hours away and we have seen each other every other weekend, always him travelling here as he’s currently at his mum’s while he looks for a house to buy.
He left here on Sunday PM and by that evening I had ‘the feeling’ something was off. You know when nothing has HAPPENED but you just feel something isn’t right. I called him out and he said it was fine. Since Monday we’ve spoken for one whole hour. Normally we speak all the time, he’ll even call me for 2 mins just when he’s driving from one side of the base to the other. Texts when we can as we both work and then lots of ‘I’m missing you/can’t wait to see you’ etc. Nothing.
Then on Wednesday I heard nothing for 5 hours, which I know sounds crazy that that’s even a problem but compared to the usual comms, that was genuinely worrying. Had a quick phone call argument. Continued on to Thurs.
Asked him today if he was still coming up this weekend as planned and he didn’t answer yes or no, just said he’s feeling tit about this week. What a surprise. I 100% know something is off, but I also know I look psychopathic saying it when technically he’s not done anything except ignored me for a few hours. I genuinely thought that he was going to drop the L bomb soon as we’ve been so close and things WERE perfect. Not sure what could have changed.
Scared that when we do talk tonight, he will say it’s my fault for being weird and ‘dragging it on’ when I know Sunday was the day my spidey senses began tingling. My mum says, tell him to be honest and if he’s not feeling it anymore, so be it, end it. That’s fine but how can someone go from one day looking at the price of houses to saying, ‘seeing each other 4 days a month isn’t a lot, is it?’ Is it me being crazy?
Been with someone for 5 months which I know isn’t long but until this week, we were talking about future stuff like moving to where he lives once my daughter finishes exams. He recently moved back to his hometown, three hours away and we have seen each other every other weekend, always him travelling here as he’s currently at his mum’s while he looks for a house to buy.
He left here on Sunday PM and by that evening I had ‘the feeling’ something was off. You know when nothing has HAPPENED but you just feel something isn’t right. I called him out and he said it was fine. Since Monday we’ve spoken for one whole hour. Normally we speak all the time, he’ll even call me for 2 mins just when he’s driving from one side of the base to the other. Texts when we can as we both work and then lots of ‘I’m missing you/can’t wait to see you’ etc. Nothing.
Then on Wednesday I heard nothing for 5 hours, which I know sounds crazy that that’s even a problem but compared to the usual comms, that was genuinely worrying. Had a quick phone call argument. Continued on to Thurs.
Asked him today if he was still coming up this weekend as planned and he didn’t answer yes or no, just said he’s feeling tit about this week. What a surprise. I 100% know something is off, but I also know I look psychopathic saying it when technically he’s not done anything except ignored me for a few hours. I genuinely thought that he was going to drop the L bomb soon as we’ve been so close and things WERE perfect. Not sure what could have changed.
Scared that when we do talk tonight, he will say it’s my fault for being weird and ‘dragging it on’ when I know Sunday was the day my spidey senses began tingling. My mum says, tell him to be honest and if he’s not feeling it anymore, so be it, end it. That’s fine but how can someone go from one day looking at the price of houses to saying, ‘seeing each other 4 days a month isn’t a lot, is it?’ Is it me being crazy?
Why do you keep letting him do this to you? He is treating you like tit and you keep taking him back. He’s going to keep doing this, he’s going to keep running off as & when he pleases, completely wrecking your head in the process and causing no end of heartache until one day he will leave and never return. Don’t allow yourself to be used like this by a guy who clearly has no idea what he wants.Thanks all
Thank you so much - much as it’s obvious awful for you and I wouldn’t wish this feeling on anyone, it’s really comforting to know I’m not the only one going through this x
He’s got someone else.
Mark my words. There’s someone else involved. I’d put money on it being someone from his past or someone he’s known a while. He’s probably been in contact with her/has met up with her.
5 months isn’t a long time. It’s far too early in any relationship to be thinking about uprooting your life and your daughters life to move to be near him, with respect you hardly know him.
you know in your gut that something is off. So get out of this now before you get in any deeper.
- Status