To celebrate Hazno swearing that he and Smegs will never return to the UK to live, here is celebratory ditty, best sung to the tune of Taylor Swift's We are never ever getting back together:
We remember when you two left
Wanting to be in - out sayin', "This is it, we've had enough"
'Cause, like, we hadn't slobbered over them for a month
When they said they needed space (What?)
Then they came home again and said
"Brits, we didn’t miss you but we swear you’re gonna pay our security"
"Pity us," remember how that went down?
They say, "We hate you," we break up, they tell us, "We still want our titles"
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
They called it off again last night, but
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
This time, they’re telling us, they’re telling us
We are never, evеr, ever getting back togеther
We are never, ever, ever getting back together
They’ll talk to Anderson, talk to Oprah, talk to Bradby
And we are never, ever, ever, ever getting back together
Like, ever
They’re really gonna miss our paying their security
The sugars falling for it, shrieking that we’re racists
They would hide away and find their peace of mind
With Eugenie and some z-list slebs who are much cooler than Wills
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
They spoke to Anderson again tonight, but
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
This time, they’re telling us, they’re telling us
We (We) are never, ever, ever getting back together
We are never, ever, ever getting back together
They’ll go talk to Anderson, talk to Oprah, talk to Tom
(Talk to them)
And we are never, ever, ever, ever getting back together
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh (Yeah)
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh (Yeah)
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh (Yeah)
Oh-oh-oh
We used to think that the royals were forever, ever
And they used to say, "Never complain; never explain"
Ugh, so Hazno talks to Anderson and he's like, "Brits, we still hate you"
And we’re, like, we’re just, we mean, this is exhausting, you know?
Like, we are never getting back together
Like, ever
(No) We are never, ever, ever getting back together
We are never, ever, ever (Ooh) getting back together
They’ll talk to Anderson, talk to Oprah, talk to Bradby
We are never, ever, ever, ever getting back together
We remember when you two left
Wanting to be in - out sayin', "This is it, we've had enough"
'Cause, like, we hadn't slobbered over them for a month
When they said they needed space (What?)
Then they came home again and said
"Brits, we didn’t miss you but we swear you’re gonna pay our security"
"Pity us," remember how that went down?
They say, "We hate you," we break up, they tell us, "We still want our titles"
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
They called it off again last night, but
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
This time, they’re telling us, they’re telling us
We are never, evеr, ever getting back togеther
We are never, ever, ever getting back together
They’ll talk to Anderson, talk to Oprah, talk to Bradby
And we are never, ever, ever, ever getting back together
Like, ever
They’re really gonna miss our paying their security
The sugars falling for it, shrieking that we’re racists
They would hide away and find their peace of mind
With Eugenie and some z-list slebs who are much cooler than Wills
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
They spoke to Anderson again tonight, but
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
This time, they’re telling us, they’re telling us
We (We) are never, ever, ever getting back together
We are never, ever, ever getting back together
They’ll go talk to Anderson, talk to Oprah, talk to Tom
(Talk to them)
And we are never, ever, ever, ever getting back together
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh (Yeah)
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh (Yeah)
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh (Yeah)
Oh-oh-oh
We used to think that the royals were forever, ever
And they used to say, "Never complain; never explain"
Ugh, so Hazno talks to Anderson and he's like, "Brits, we still hate you"
And we’re, like, we’re just, we mean, this is exhausting, you know?
Like, we are never getting back together
Like, ever
(No) We are never, ever, ever getting back together
We are never, ever, ever (Ooh) getting back together
They’ll talk to Anderson, talk to Oprah, talk to Bradby
We are never, ever, ever, ever getting back together
