If my husband announced he was a transvestite or a trans woman, I would never stay and put up with his predilection or kink or whatever it is. I work give a shiny shite whether I was labelled transphobic or unaccepting of someone’s kink. The wives in this scenario seem to be expected to put aside their own needs or desires - it all becomes about him and what he wants. No way would I stay, no way would I care what I was called, I would be utterly repulsed and feel widowed, that the man I thought I knew was a mirage. I would rather be called transphobic rather than a mug. Each to their own, but it would not be for me or in my best interests.