Gender Discussion #15

[emm]

You would explain if you had a condition pertaining to the genitals though. There would be nothing worse than being in the throes of passion and then being rejected by someone because of a condition. If you are having a sexual encounter with someone they are going to notice.

yeh I agree, I went on a date (hook up not a real date lol) with someone who had had a testicle removed for some kind of medical thing and he told me before we had sex. I didnt care but appreciated him saying it. if I was les and got with someone who still had a pen I would be very disturbed

FTM pass better than MTF I think. I'd absolutely feel lied to, and ive been with men and women. We shouldnt just have to accept it. Our bodies, our choice who gets to see/touch/be intimate with.

because ftm just dress kind of "normally" as men, dont go for an ott show like MTF do. I have never dressed in such a "feminine" way as MTF do

 

[witchofwestbyfleet]

My dress sense is very flashy and kind of tacky (lots of sequins, rainbow colours, etc.) and even I have more restraint than some of the AGP types. I don't wear "sexy" Halloween costumes in my daily life, or clothes designed for teenage girls, or skirts that don't cover my knickers, etc

 

[Brigitjonesbuttcheek]

The whole 'ask a bus driver to help' reminded me of this story from a while ago.

https://www.archive.is/oldest/https.../03/mexico-killer-vigilante-diana-bus-drivers

I actually think if you are fully post op and the other person accepts you as you present, you don't have to disclose anything. I mean, we don't ask people to disclose other information about themselves before a sexual encounter. I think if you are pre-op, you need to be clear.

Sorry but it doesn't matter where you are in your transition, you should 100% have to tell a partner before anything physical happens. Many men would not want to have sexual contact with someone who was born a man, they have the right to know.

That girl went to prison for pretending to be a boy to have a relationship with her friend. I don't see lying about your trans status as any different. Both are sex by deception.

Plus even post op, they'll find out when they get to the neo tina.

 

[Ekathrina]

I think generally women are much better at recognising biological sex than men. Even a persons gait when they walk is a dead giveaway to me. We pick up on clues like this for safety reasons - if someone is walking towards you on a dimly lit street at night your survival might depend on you knowing whether that person is male or female. A man’s gait is unmistakable, no matter how much they try and walk like a woman.

 

[emm]

I think generally women are much better at recognising biological sex than men. Even a persons gait when they walk is a dead giveaway to me. We pick up on clues like this for safety reasons - if someone is walking towards you on a dimly lit street at night your survival might depend on you knowing whether that person is male or female. A man’s gait is unmistakable, no matter how much they try and walk like a woman.

totally agree, either it is quite "male" or it is exageratedly "female" but obvious either way.

 

[maytoseptember]

Bet a lot of TRAs in the UK are desperately scratching their heads to figure out how they can turn discussion back to themselves with the focus being on Sarah Everard and *actual* women at the moment

Yup. It’s been like a breath of fresh air, seeing TV and radio news repeatedly saying “violence against women and girls”, not “violence against AFAB people”. Acknowledging that biological sex is what makes us vulnerable.

FTM pass better than MTF I think. I'd absolutely feel lied to, and ive been with men and women. We shouldnt just have to accept it. Our bodies, our choice who gets to see/touch/be intimate with.

It’s only because they grow beards, and it’s impossible to see a beard and think “female”.

Mind you, when you see them outside of a carefully posed photo, see their (lack of) height, hear their froggy voices, and notice their distinctly feminine bone structure and mannerisms… they don’t pass so well.

I mean, look at this person.

 

[emm]

Yup. It’s been like a breath of fresh air, seeing TV and radio news repeatedly saying “violence against women and girls”, not “violence against AFAB people”. Acknowledging that biological sex is what makes us vulnerable.



It’s only because they grow beards, and it’s impossible to see a beard and think “female”.

Mind you, when you see them outside of a carefully posed photo, see their (lack of) height, hear their froggy voices, and notice their distinctly feminine bone structure and mannerisms… they don’t pass so well.

I mean, look at this person.

for me this person would just be non binary, which is fine. Why have to be male or female?

 

[threeSMEGfridges]

My dress sense is very flashy and kind of tacky (lots of sequins, rainbow colours, etc.) and even I have more restraint than some of the AGP types. I don't wear "sexy" Halloween costumes in my daily life, or clothes designed for teenage girls, or skirts that don't cover my knickers, etc

my dress style is very lumberjill but I don’t bring my chainsaw to work (/sarcasm)

seriousky though it disgusts me how people weaponise LGBT for bad behaviour and generally being innappropriate in everyday life.

far from breaking gender norms I feel like the trans/NB discourse is heavily reinforcing them.

next someone will say that all flappers who bobbed their hair were closeted trans-men

 

[witchofwestbyfleet]

next someone will say that all flappers who bobbed their hair were closeted trans-men

That's coming for sure if it hasn't already

 

[Vee6]

FTM pass better than MTF I think. I'd absolutely feel lied to, and ive been with men and women. We shouldnt just have to accept it. Our bodies, our choice who gets to see/touch/be intimate with.

There was a documentary years ago (15 at least), long before any of this gender lark was mainstream. And there were say ten men and ten women and they were in some sort of competition... they had to “dress and act” like the opposite gender and I think each week one was eliminated. One of the things that stood out to me was the judges said that it was much harder for the women to pass as men. Obviously they weren’t taking any hormones or having surgery for this show. I would like to watch it again to see what the reasons for that were.
I think most people can tell instantly what someone’s sex is whatever effort they have made.
I do notice that the American trans men seem to pass better, dno why.

 

[Bitofthebubbly]

 

[witchofwestbyfleet]

There was a documentary years ago (15 at least), long before any of this gender lark was mainstream. And there were say ten men and ten women and they were in some sort of competition... they had to “dress and act” like the opposite gender and I think each week one was eliminated. One of the things that stood out to me was the judges said that it was much harder for the women to pass as men. Obviously they weren’t taking any hormones or having surgery for this show. I would like to watch it again to see what the reasons for that were.
I think most people can tell instantly what someone’s sex is whatever effort they have made.
I do notice that the American trans men seem to pass better, dno why.

I remember watching an interview with that woman who was in charge of disguise with the CIA for some time and she said that they could convincingly disguise female spies as men, but not vice versa ...

 

[Vee6]

I remember watching an interview with that woman who was in charge of disguise with the CIA for some time and she said that they could convincingly disguise female spies as men, but not vice versa ...

Yeah that makes sense. As spies they would completely be ignored if they were quiet

 

[appleskin]

View attachment 793028

Guess that ends women being allowed to be scared given that's who it's happening to, until next time

 

[Oohthedrama]

‘Cishet’ can get in the bin.

Is this a thing what does it even mean

 

[Bitofthebubbly]

Is this a thing what does it even mean

Just another term for being a boring old heterosexual

 

[Oohthedrama]

Just another term for being a boring old heterosexual

that’s a dirty word.
Remember, you’re now the problem.

 

[SqualorVictoria]

that’s a dirty word.
Remember, you’re now the problem.

Only if you're white though. Oppressors

 

[katyazamo]

It's bit of a myth that you don't disclose your genitals to a potential sexual partner and something that has been entirely pushed by trans women.

The thing is, if you're trans then it's just something that needs to be addressed because people are not used to it! I've been with a few trans men and it really is as simply as having a chat about what the situation there is and what you're both comfortable with. The ones I have been with were always upfront about it. Tbh a phalloplasty is serious surgery, extremely expensive so a lot of trans guys don't go down that route anyway.

 

[Ispyabudgetbeanblogger]

I just want to clarify what I said earlier. I don't think post op trans people should be obliged to disclose information about their genitals in the same way that I don't think anyone should have to disclose that info to a potential sexual partner. Whether people do or don't, that's their business.

I think pre-op it's a different situation.

The reality is that trans people have a more limited dating pool. Some trans women seem to be very angry about that. To me, that's incel behaviour.

I also think, though I have no personal experience with this, that most trans people will talk about this stuff with potential sexual partners. The situation of someone going to bed with a post-op trans person and not realising that they are trans are slim. Though the stupidity of horny blokes should never be underestimated.

I accept that many of you disagree with me on that. Just wanted to clarify I didn't think they shouldn't say something, just that they shouldn't have to.