Poor cat looks so sad
Poor cat looks so sadView attachment 1129272
fucking hell that's not cute
I thought that sticker said "bacon and grow". Very apt.
Wait...you don't have to work 28 hours a day and buy dozens of tiny crates to sell stickers?????
Ah my god poor Jane. So many noodles10.30am: Wake up in crusty pyjamas on the sewfa to cat licking me cos my pores seep salt.
10.35am: Summon Jane to provide enormous pile of butter with a bit of toast
10.45am: Change from crusty pyjamas into best grey jumper as I am filming an ad and need to look my best.
10.50am: Put on makeup, paying careful attention to make my brows look like slugs. Add some freckles in case Hobnob will notice me for freckles and chill. No need to worry as a filter will do most of the work anyway.
11am: Throw noodles at Jane.
11.30am: Film add making sure to read script super robotically. Change jumper to another grey jumper as it wasn't slobby enough. Throw noodles at Jane for creative criticism.
12pm: Get in the car with Jane to go to Starbucks where I will eat cake, drink my.body weight in sugar and side eye everybody in the cafe. How dare they be there! Don't they know it's a pandemic?
12.35pm: Tweet about mask wearing cos I care so much about covid and I'm so unselfish.
1pm: Selfies on the beach. Act like I'm there with somebody else. No noodles, so will have to elbow Jane in the face to make sure she isn't in any photos.
13.10pm: Tweet about men. How dare men be out on this beach not looking at me (though I'll say they are).
1.20pm: Make Jane drive me to buy paint.
2.15pm: Get Jane to paint my bedroom for a bedroom makeover. I'll take a few stills and videos to look like it was me who painted. Throw noodles at Jane.
2.20pm: Watch Friends. Eat ham. Pretend to be working on Juniper Moon by showing a screenshot of orders from weeks ago. I might pack and send them eventually.
2.25pm: Not enough attention. Poorly insta stories. Poke self in the eye and use grey filter to look ill and upset.
2.30pm: Feed Nelly tuna. Tell Jane to empty litter box. Throw noodles at Jane.
5pm: Knock up a Coming Soon Juniper Moon story.
5.05pm: Decide to close shop for two weeks instead of designing new collection.
6.10pm: Get Jane to make a roast which I'll say I made. Throw noodles at Jane.
8pm: Share picture of unfinished dinner, before I scoff the lot in the bath.
8.05pm: Bath time. Eat roast and tone hair with silver shampoo. Stare longingly at box dye.
9pm: Dye hair dark brown. Share story swinging hair around.
9.30pm: Say hair naturally went dark because I have a condition.
9.35pm: Scummy trolls on Tattle laughing at me. Delete story about my condition. Book hair appointment to go blonde. What's the first thing they'll do when I go blonde?
10pm: Sofa shopping while I watch Friends and eat ham.
10.30pm: Jane goes to bed. Throw noodles at Jane.
1am: Wake Jane up so she can make me toast.
3am: Exhausted from Friends and ham. Go to sleep.
But it would get all wet.This is probably old, but it popped up on my Facebook this morning and I thought of you guys
Don’t be silly, gab doesn’t shower, that would involve standing up for 10 mins!This is probably old, but it popped up on my Facebook this morning and I thought of you guys
Just because you can doesn’t mean you shouldThis is probably old, but it popped up on my Facebook this morning and I thought of you guys
Next thread titleHoly shit, that is a big, fat cat.
… on a mat. Not a box, where gabriella shat.Holy shit, that is a big, fat cat.
I don’t tend to throw the term Big Chungus around that often but he fits the billHoly shit, that is a big, fat cat.
I know you didn't mean too but you finished the poem offYay, it’s st paddy’s day! We’ve got our hats back
Or #64 Salty ChewlipsI’d just tweak this slightly to Gabriella Lindley #64 SALTY
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