A friend was due to call down to me during the week, nothing fussy, just for a cuppa and a chat. No sign. I waited in all day. Later got a text saying they'd forgotten. I admit I feel gutted, that I mean so little to someone that they just forget about me. It's happened before with other people. It's been on my mind all week, feeling very low.
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I hope you’re on the mend now, I can’t imagine having to look after myself after major surgery like that.
I think a lot of people are massively selfish and they always expect someone else to do it. This has got worse after lockdown.
in 2015 I broke my leg and had surgery, it was a bad break and I spent 3 months at home. In the initial stages I put a Facebook post up asking if anyone was going to a primark at the weekend if they could pick me up something. At the time I felt I had a good/decent number of friends and family who might look out for me. One person responded but didn’t actually do it. I was really taken aback at how people were so unwilling to do something pretty simple. Not even my sister who was in and out primark every other day and works down the road from one could take a moment to help me out.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you by the way, I just think we’re living in a society where people can’t be bothered to look out for each other - if you’re lucky enough to have a spouse and living/well parents those are your best bet when times get tough. I think that’s mostly what life is like.
An update.
I sent her a VN just asking if everything is okay with her & advising if she's got stuff going on & can't provide support for me rn, then that's fine but please just let me know.
No response but has listened to the VN on Friday.
Ugh. Sorry this happened. I used to know someone who did this to me twice. It’s gutting to be so easily forgotten.
I stopped contacting them after the second time and needless to say, they didn’t stay in touch either …
I find it so crazy how you’ll stop reaching out after a few attempts and that person will never contact you again. Like what were you doing in my life in the first place? I always wonder do they ever think of you, or think to reach out and decide against it or do they literally just forget your existence and move on?
Yes it’s so true! I’ve had this happen to me and it sucks I was friends with this person for 10+ years, was always there for her during hard times but as you said I stopped reaching out to her (it was always me to instigate the conversation) and yep she never contacted me again
I would like to think that all the times I was there for this person that this would have had an impact on her but no it’s appears not! I hear you all it utterly sucks and is like a gut punch 
why are people so self centred and also what did I do to deserve such treatment I ask myself 
I’ve since moved on and learned to accept it’s not me it’s them, I am a good friend and I deserve better, however I am definitely more wary of reaching out/ making new friends and is probably why I no longer have any 
My friend of 20+ years has always been pretty tit at texting back despite being on her phone all the time but lately I'm getting so upset over how selfish she is. I had a baby 6 months ago and she's met them once. She barely asks me how the baby or I am but when she's having drama after drama I'm expected to be there for her (which I am). I always tell myself next time I'm not doing it but if course I do. This time she ranted at me for two days straight 3 weeks ago and I gave her advice and listened to her and I haven't heard from her since. I've messaged twice in three weeks asking how she is and if she's okay. Nothing. She views my stories on IG though. I feel like I'm done but I know I never am. She'll have some sob story or excuse as to why she hasn't been in touch and I'll lap it up like I always do. People never check in on me and I just feel so alone sometimes. I have always wanted a close friendship group but no one stays. No one cares. Except me. I care too much and I always get hurt.
I felt this so hard. I just want to be loved. I just feel like we give so much for breadcrumbs back, it seems so unfair and it’s really upsetting.
Are you able to take your little one to baby groups, that helped me connect with other mums and fill my day so I wasn’t so alone. It is tough though, especially when you know they are active online.
This guy, I can see when he is active. He’s always on his phone. I can see he’s like other posts this week. Not mine though. Out of everybody I thought he was there for me, it hurts more than my surgery scars.
I feel so emotional about it. I have nobody.
I just want to be loved and love and care for another, like how I care for others... I’m craving human connection. I’m lonely
I’m sorry this has happened to you, it’s so hard to find a healthy balance in friendships sometimes. For what it’s worth this so called friend of yours sounds like she no longer is. It’s not ok to be used only as a trauma-dumping ground because they know how much you crave a friendly connection and obvs a nice person. Consider how you would like to set boundaries for yourself as this pattern of behaviour would carry on and keep affecting you negatively. This may include blocking her to prevent further contacts.
Sending you so much love. It's incredibly tough to feel so much in this usually cold world. I think it's the curse of being an empath unfortunately and those who are not empaths just don't get it.I felt this so hard. I just want to be loved. I just feel like we give so much for breadcrumbs back, it seems so unfair and it’s really upsetting.
Are you able to take your little one to baby groups, that helped me connect with other mums and fill my day so I wasn’t so alone. It is tough though, especially when you know they are active online.
This guy, I can see when he is active. He’s always on his phone. I can see he’s like other posts this week. Not mine though. Out of everybody I thought he was there for me, it hurts more than my surgery scars.
I feel so emotional about it. I have nobody.
I just want to be loved and love and care for another, like how I care for others... I’m craving human connection. I’m lonely
Yeh I go to baby groups regularly but I just feel like the people I've met are more acquaintances than friends and group chats that I'm in tend to trigger me more because people don't really respond to me like they do with the others in the group. Perhaps I'm too sensitive. It's so easy to overthink everything.
I agree it is so easy to over think. I can get triggered by all sorts. sends me spiralling and brings up the lonely feelings again 
Definitely me rnI agree it is so easy to over think. I can get triggered by all sorts. sends me spiralling and brings up the lonely feelings again
I think it’s a bit of a running theme on this thread, sadly, that people just don’t get back what they’ve put in. I know I feel that way. I don’t know how to make friends with someone who prioritises me as a friend the way I do them. I seem to be everyone’s back up friend, or the one they don’t really think about. I see them doing things with other people and wonder how it all got organised, because I organise most things I’m involved in, and it’s a struggle. I see the jokey “trying to get friends together and picking a date for November 2027” videos and think yeah that’s what it’s like when I organise something, but yet on Insta and FB I see people hanging out so they’ve made time for each other.
ugh.
Sorry to everyone who feels lonely and deserted. I wish I could be everyone’s top tier friend who’d help you when you were ill or even just answer your messages when you first sent them and not three days later
ugh.
Sorry to everyone who feels lonely and deserted. I wish I could be everyone’s top tier friend who’d help you when you were ill or even just answer your messages when you first sent them and not three days later
100% this. I don't see people unless I nag them essentially. And people cancel on me last minute too. Like I'm all dressed and ready to go when I get the text. So bloody annoying.I think it’s a bit of a running theme on this thread, sadly, that people just don’t get back what they’ve put in. I know I feel that way. I don’t know how to make friends with someone who prioritises me as a friend the way I do them. I seem to be everyone’s back up friend, or the one they don’t really think about. I see them doing things with other people and wonder how it all got organised, because I organise most things I’m involved in, and it’s a struggle. I see the jokey “trying to get friends together and picking a date for November 2027” videos and think yeah that’s what it’s like when I organise something, but yet on Insta and FB I see people hanging out so they’ve made time for each other.
ugh.
Sorry to everyone who feels lonely and deserted. I wish I could be everyone’s top tier friend who’d help you when you were ill or even just answer your messages when you first sent them and not three days later
I went away travelling for over 6 months and barely heard from one of my best friends. Once I’d gotten home, I saw she was in my area visiting other friends (she lives 2 hours away from me now). After 6 months of me gone; she didn’t even try to arrange to see me.
I messaged her asking how long she was in the area for. She never replied. 3 days later I sent another text saying “fair enough”.
She responded instantly saying “oh sorry” and asked how I was, although she didn’t listen, just started telling me about a guy she’s seeing.
I literally give up
I messaged her asking how long she was in the area for. She never replied. 3 days later I sent another text saying “fair enough”.
She responded instantly saying “oh sorry” and asked how I was, although she didn’t listen, just started telling me about a guy she’s seeing.
I literally give up
I’m another one who doesn’t get back what they put in with attempted friendships, albeit I seem to attract narcissists and attention seekers, so perhaps this isn’t a bad thing we dont gel?
I think there's a theory about how nice people attract narcissists and people who drain you.
It's good that all of us here can recognise when there's an imbalance. It's fine to keep your high standards and have boundaries about what behaviour you will accept from others.
Bit in bold is so real for me right now lol. Can't get too into it but a couple of people I've tried hard to stay friends with have basically tried way harder with each other clearly, according to insta, yet whenever I try to contact them I'm left on read for at least 3 weeks. Oooooookay then. Tattle group chat would be the best ngl, I understand why we can't message on here but wish we could.I think it’s a bit of a running theme on this thread, sadly, that people just don’t get back what they’ve put in. I know I feel that way. I don’t know how to make friends with someone who prioritises me as a friend the way I do them. I seem to be everyone’s back up friend, or the one they don’t really think about. I see them doing things with other people and wonder how it all got organised, because I organise most things I’m involved in, and it’s a struggle. I see the jokey “trying to get friends together and picking a date for November 2027” videos and think yeah that’s what it’s like when I organise something, but yet on Insta and FB I see people hanging out so they’ve made time for each other.
ugh.
Sorry to everyone who feels lonely and deserted. I wish I could be everyone’s top tier friend who’d help you when you were ill or even just answer your messages when you first sent them and not three days later
I stopped making effort, suggesting meet ups, making the first move and I don't feel like I'm any worse off because of it .
This resonates so much. I recognise you from the Brummy Mummy threads I think? Name rings a bell.I think it’s a bit of a running theme on this thread, sadly, that people just don’t get back what they’ve put in. I know I feel that way. I don’t know how to make friends with someone who prioritises me as a friend the way I do them. I seem to be everyone’s back up friend, or the one they don’t really think about. I see them doing things with other people and wonder how it all got organised, because I organise most things I’m involved in, and it’s a struggle. I see the jokey “trying to get friends together and picking a date for November 2027” videos and think yeah that’s what it’s like when I organise something, but yet on Insta and FB I see people hanging out so they’ve made time for each other.
ugh.
Sorry to everyone who feels lonely and deserted. I wish I could be everyone’s top tier friend who’d help you when you were ill or even just answer your messages when you first sent them and not three days later
I’ve doomscrolled and found ‘friends’ have met up over bank holiday weekend near my town and didn’t even think to ask how I am or if I’d like to join...
It’s like a punch in the gut. I always think there must be something wrong with me. Am I not fun? I’d like to think I am?
I was very low last night.