I think also try to work on how you feel about yourself. Remind yourself that you're an interesting person, and people wouldn't spend time with you/talk to you if you weren't.
I’m going to play devil’s advocate. I don’t feel like there’s a need to be this angry at the world, it’s a waste of your time and energy. To the people who have actually wronged you, yes. The fact a lot of people in your life have unfortunately passed away, yes I can see why you have these feelings. But the gym is to exercise, most people do go alone and don’t talk to anyone. Some do make small talk out of politeness, but it’s rarely used or intended to be used for meaningful interactions. By all means don’t go if you don’t want to, but it’s there to exercise mostly with headphones in not talking or chatting briefly at a push.
I go only for classes, I don't like the actual gym part (find it wholly boring and get distracted/leave within 5 mins). I went mostly for the social as physical health needs means unfortunately there's alot I can't do bar this 1 class, which I adapt as best I can.
Please don’t cancel the gym if it’s something you enjoy doing. Honestly I understand your angry feelings but I give myself pep talks about not cutting off my own nose etc etc, because you’re the one who will suffer if you stop doing something you like just because other people are tit. Or perhaps you could find a different exercise with nicer people - running club, park run, cycling club, badminton, tennis…?
The people aren't horrible at my classes (one of the let downs from last week was someone I met there but doesn't go anymore).Please don’t cancel the gym if it’s something you enjoy doing. Honestly I understand your angry feelings but I give myself pep talks about not cutting off my own nose etc etc, because you’re the one who will suffer if you stop doing something you like just because other people are tit. Or perhaps you could find a different exercise with nicer people - running club, park run, cycling club, badminton, tennis…?
Sorry I know you haven’t asked for advice so I don’t want to come across as a dick.
Have you had any grief counselling? Losing your mum is a massive thing to deal with.
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As for me, it’s Monday again tomorrow and I have zero plans this week
. Even walking too much takes my hip out (yep I'm 36....with an 86 year old skeleton lol).This is me! I spend so much time kicking myself for not acting like a normal human when I’m stressed in social situations, I don’t know what happens!
You're right about anger, it's often more healthy to be angry then suppress it. But don't direct anger at people who don't deserve it .
It's so strange, it's like a part of my brain just switches off, then after I think of all the things I could have said. I watch everyone else act so cool and get so jealous
I am also super awkward around people and I hate talking about myself. My tip is to ask them lots of questions. It makes you seem really interested in them and you don't have to do any of the talking yourself. I'm probably not explaining it very well haha! But I'll ask a question and then I have some responses in my back pocket like "oh that sounds fascinating, tell me more about that". I use this technique all the time at work and things like networking events
Just two things to pick up from your post.
maybe I just don’t want to go on holiday?!Aaaa I hate this too!!! It was mentioned in my interview at one point because I only had one holiday planned (and it’s in the UK)Being asked regularly if I’m going on holiday this year. Saying no everytime. Having it suggested that I could go on a solo holiday.
