just passing by but couldn't not say Hi to all the lovely people here from the NB threads. You're all amazing, supportive ladies, hugs to you all xxxFrom the minute she was born, she just screamed, always fed changed cuddled, but still screamed. Never slept, she’s still a bugger for that now, doesn’t nap, wakes at least twice in the night and she’s in our bed too. Will not go in her own. She needed (and still does) need constant entertaining, she has definitely gotten easier, but still so much hard work. And then the guilt of not being able to give my son attention because she takes so much, and doesn’t nap so I can’t spend the time with him then either, is massive.I’m so sorry to read this, I could’ve wrote this post a few months ago. My little boy is 6 months and for the first couple of months he never stopped crying like ever. I honestly accepted that he was a newborn and they cry but it just chipped away with me. It turns out he actually had a muscle pulled in his neck from his birth, my labour was awful. I was 15 days overdue and he was delivered by foreceps and they pulled his neck so hard.
In what way is your little one difficult if you don’t mind me asking, of course
I feel dreadful for wishing her life away, I’m constantly saying oh roll on when she’s this age, or roll on this time next year, but I can’t wait for the day where I enjoy her and enjoy being her mother the way I do her brother. As I mentioned before my mother is no support, and even though I was on life support after my son, she said to me “I didn’t realise how unwell you were” . And to be honest, I don’t think I realised even now just how bad it was. that part of my life feels like it never happened, but also like it was yesterday?I had a traumatic birth 4 years ago. I found that I almost bonded extra-hard with my baby afterwards, more so than with my older child whose birth was basically textbook.
I wonder if that’s what you might be finding a bit?
Also a bit of confused guilt that you had an ‘easy’ birth this time, and weren’t separated from your baby at all, unlike the first time, so also subconsciously you’re feeling sad about that too, mourning what you didn’t have the last time.
You’re going through grief for what you missed out on with your first birth - little things but important things - and that’s making your brain switch off from the now as a way to protect itself.
Hormones are weird things, and they mess with our heads.
So does trauma, and that’s what you went through.
This isn’t your fault.
You love your children. Both of them. You deserve to be happy and you deserve support and help to find the way out of this.
I don't know how to link it guys (im crap sorry) but it's in off topic under incidents, aftermath and media scrutiny obviously I didn't attach NB's name but it's their if needed kinda thing.
The screaming and not sleeping - what’s her feeding like? Was she breast or bottle fed and how was that - did she take feeds easily, did she fuss when feeding or seem to gag, was she sick a lot? Were you able to lie her flat or did she need to be more upright?
Have you had any mental health support since then? That warped sense of time is really common after trauma. I have it myself xx
I’m with you there, hyacinths take me back to childhood, growing them in a bulb vase in a dark cupboard, I love their scent, blue ones are my fav. I found a baby hedgehog on a walk last year, I thought it was a pinecone at first it was so tiny. I kept it overnight then it went to a hedgehog rescue centre, it was a dear little thing. A few weeks later I took a dying pigeon home as I couldn’t bear another animal attacking it and it having a traumatic ending. My girls never know what they’re going to come home to.I so need to sort out my vitamin and fruit/veg intake. I default to sugar often, no good for mood crashes. Thanks for the reminder. I wish there was just one magic pill for all the meno stuff, so many different things to think of. I have found CBD to be useful too and use a very low dose HRT. I've had a period for a week now and am getting really tired but managed to bung some fancy stuff in my hair and some magic cream on my face after my shower. When I swept the winter leaves in the garden earlier (the hedgehogs are waking up) I found a beautiful blue hyacinth flowering in a really crappy shady corner and och, it made me smile like a kid so it did. I've put it on the step so I can see it in the morning. Little things. Spring is coming, it's just hiding under the leaves. Hold tight all.
tit crazy but I’m really not ……..….perhaps just a little 
xxShe is on allergy milk, and since that she no longer screams until she’s red in the face, definitely more settled since being on that. Didn’t help the sleeping though, but even though I have to entertain her constantly, she isn’t inconsolable screaming anymore.
No nothing. After I had him covid happened, I had physio appointments for after the birth which never happened, but never anything MH wise. HV never asked if I was okay or anything, not that it’s her place too, and likely if she had I would’ve said I’m ok. But I do wonder if she had asked would I have said something otherwise
So so tough I can only imagine and I get the wishing time away when you actually should be enjoying the time with her. If she is taking cows milk, I really would recommend getting her checked for CMPA. I took my wee fella to a chiropractor and it changed all our lives. He could tell straight away the child was in pain and literally fixed him. She might be in pain or even allergic to her milk. Whatever it is it can be fixed I know you prob don’t wanna hear or believe that but it can.
I can spot an allergy baby a mile away!
Okay, I really think when you feel able you should go back and do another econsult and say you need MH support to deal with the traumatic birth, and ongoing PND which has resurfaced.
Amino acid formula, she is under a dietitian as it was a hospital referral, I took her to a&e as GPS weren’t taking me seriously. She has no dairy at the moment, but we have been given a “milk ladder” kind of thing, so we basically have to try her and see if she reacts ( we’re in west wales so I’m not sure if it’s different elsewhere) we did try the milk ladder and she went back to being very unsettled after the smallest bit of dairy, so the dietitian said no dairy until she is at least 1. The formula definitely made a huge difference in terms of her not being so unhappy and screamy. She isn’t really arsed about solid food at the moment which is good as finding things other than fruit or veg for her is quite a task, I take my hat off to youI can spot an allergy baby a mile away!
So the sleeping is likely to be silent reflux. The silent type means no vomit so it’s not obvious and often not diagnosed because GP’s aren’t so aware of it.
I assume because she’s on allergy milk she doesn’t eat any dairy?
What milk does she have? Is it a hydrolysed formula or an amino acid one? (Just tell me the name if you’re not sure x)
Have you had a paediatric allergy clinic referral or just GP prescribed milk?
Sorry for the million questions but I truly believe this difficulty could all be allergy-related.
My littlest is an allergy-babe (cows milk, soya, egg and gluten) so I’m 4 years in to this crappy life x
---
Okay, I really think when you feel able you should go back and do another econsult and say you need MH support to deal with the traumatic birth, and ongoing PND which has resurfaced.
If you feel able to do it soon, you might be able to get under the perinatal mental health team as your youngest is under 12 months, and they would be the best to help you
You deserve this help. Remember that.
and generally just being a better, happy calmer mamJust wanted to say, infant gaviscon was our savior for reflux through the night. We only gave it in the before bed/during night bottles as found it blocked them up if it was for every bottle. Your GP will be able to prescribe it. It really was magic stuff for all my babies.I can spot an allergy baby a mile away!
So the sleeping is likely to be silent reflux. The silent type means no vomit so it’s not obvious and often not diagnosed because GP’s aren’t so aware of it.
I assume because she’s on allergy milk she doesn’t eat any dairy?
What milk does she have? Is it a hydrolysed formula or an amino acid one? (Just tell me the name if you’re not sure x)
Have you had a paediatric allergy clinic referral or just GP prescribed milk?
Sorry for the million questions but I truly believe this difficulty could all be allergy-related.
My littlest is an allergy-babe (cows milk, soya, egg and gluten) so I’m 4 years in to this crappy life x
---
Okay, I really think when you feel able you should go back and do another econsult and say you need MH support to deal with the traumatic birth, and ongoing PND which has resurfaced.
If you feel able to do it soon, you might be able to get under the perinatal mental health team as your youngest is under 12 months, and they would be the best to help you
You deserve this help. Remember that.
I can help you with non-dairy things. Let me know what you are struggling with.Amino acid formula, she is under a dietitian as it was a hospital referral, I took her to a&e as GPS weren’t taking me seriously. She has no dairy at the moment, but we have been given a “milk ladder” kind of thing, so we basically have to try her and see if she reacts ( we’re in west wales so I’m not sure if it’s different elsewhere) we did try the milk ladder and she went back to being very unsettled after the smallest bit of dairy, so the dietitian said no dairy until she is at least 1. The formula definitely made a huge difference in terms of her not being so unhappy and screamy. She isn’t really arsed about solid food at the moment which is good as finding things other than fruit or veg for her is quite a task, I take my hat off to you
I will try my hardest this week to speak to someone asap. I have so many things I’d like to do for myself, like getting fit and not being out of breath walking the dog
Sorry to quote you again but yes to this! My eldest was dairy and soya intolerant.
Hello, you're so welcome here!Hey all,
Long time lurker on so many threads here - my anxiety makes it impossible to even post on an online forum
I followed so many of your stories through the NB threads and really felt like this was a safe space, so thank you for creating it.
That’s as much as my anxiety will let me post right now haha! I hope I can feel brave enough to open up soon, but for now just wanted to say hi and thank you for creating this thread.
I really recommend it. In my 20’s I was referred to a counsellor and it was a bit bizarre, I felt like I was her therapist more than she was mine, she was lovely but really struggling with her MIL.
After that I thought it perhaps wasn’t for me.Oh dolls, that’s brilliant thank you. I’ll join some of those now. And I actually had no clue about the soya. Didn’t even cross my mind 🥲 I’ll check that out to tomorrow. I’m probably detailing the thread here now so apologies for that, but do you think it’s worth getting her tested for these allergies, or waiting until she’s 1? So 2 months time
Hahaha it is actually my favourite Tattle moment ever! I always worry people think I'm some random man as, as we know, only the people on the LT thread would know who Steve is, seeing as he doesn't actually existThank you @Toffeebythesea - and also, your profile picture is my favourite thing to have ever happened on here. Oh Steve
Also too much soya can play havoc with your thyroid, even in little ones.
