For anybody struggling ❤

[TwooTwooTwitTwitTwoo]

I'm struggling, really struggling.

My mum is in the throes of a breakdown and / or psychotic depression and I'm finding it hard to cope.

She has struggled with her mental health for a long time but in recent months it has deteriorated, exacerbated a month ago by a situation with my sister and her children. My mum has found this whole thing hard to deal with and spiralled into a deep depression.

We had regular visits form the local crisis team (she came to stay with us) and she said all the right things about how she wanted to move on, felt like she had accepted things etc etc.... however it was all a front and she did nothing to do the CBT offered or any of the anxiety management techniques. Instead she has festered and ruminated over everything, which has led to the current situation.

Over the weekend she has developed delusional behaviour, is convinced I'm making telephone calls about her and is accusing my children of stealing bags of 2p coins. This is not like my mum at all.

She left our home in a fit of anger and walked to a shop to get a taxi. I called the crisis team who visited her at home. When is poke to them they were concerned at how her behaviour was almost staged, like she was masking how she was feeling. It was all very bizarre,
I'm now awaiting a call to see where we go from here, an admission is looking likely but I know she won't go voluntarily.

I'm so worried and frightened for her. I've never seen her like this and I'm so angry at my sister and her children for causing this. My sister has effectively washed her hands of everything leaving me to cope and I can't.

I have looked after her in my home for 4 weeks, have reassured her, cared for her, listened to all of her tearful outbursts along with trying to navigate the legal issues that have arisen with my sister. I am now essential the punch bag, I am the target for her irrational thoughts and she is constantly angry with me.

I love her so much but she can't see the harm she is causing, I know it's because she is so unwell but I'm frightened that she won't get better..

Thank you if you made it all the way through this, I have no-one to turn to. My husband is amazing but her can't grasp mental health issues and is upset to see the harm this has caused to me and our children.

I just wanted to send you some kind words and say I was thinking of you. I've supported a family member through a significant mental health episode/breakdown and it was incredibly difficult.

You're already doing all the right things. All you can do is be there for her, reassure her and keep pushing for her to get help.

Try and find a little bit of time for yourself somehow too, although again that can be hard. I found I lived on adrenaline through the worst of it x

 

[Poppysmimi]

I am struggling so much right now. I recently found out my wife has cheated on me and about to go through the process of divorce. We were in the middle of fertility treatment with difficulties and I feel like my life has been turned upside down. I pain I feel is unbearable and I know I'm in for a bumpy ride. I am absolutely devastated

I’m so sorry to hear this xx

 

[gossipgal21]

I’m trying to turn that on its head about seeing positives. There was a 97 year old lady on Instagram who said everyday she’s grateful for her life and looks for the positives. As much as life is difficult for many at the moment I think there’s something in what she’s saying. Appreciate the little things perhaps, put on some uplifting music, go for a walk, there really is so much to be grateful for….birds singing, even the moon and the stars looked beautiful on my walk last night as bonkers as that might sound but I appreciate that’s very difficult when people are feeling low. Everyday I take vitamins/supplements, drink plenty of water, I walk when I get time even if it’s just 20minutes, or do a little workout and I find at least one thing to be grateful for. If I’m struggling I make notes as often that allows me to clear my head, or go for a walk to clear my head. If people have little ones wrap them up and take them with you, it will tire them out so you have the evening to yourself.

what vitamins do you take if you don’t mind sharing?

some really good tips there

 

[CrazyGiraffeLady]

Anyone have any experience with whooping cough? My 11 week old is in hospital with it and I can’t bring myself to google it. Any advice appreciated xx

 

[CrazyGiraffeLady]

Thanks for thinking of me It wasn’t great tbh, I had what I assume was an anxiety attack (not a panic attack, just more like I went tingly, foggy headed, short of breath) and had to leave the room because I thought I might cry. I am feeling much better now, but still feeling a bit on edge. But I did follow your advice and bought myself flowers after it to cheer myself up and for trying to do it. I guess I’ve learnt sometimes it’s ok to take a step back.

Ahhh sorry it didn’t go well but glad you’re okay

 

[Bidscavan]

I'm struggling, really struggling.

My mum is in the throes of a breakdown and / or psychotic depression and I'm finding it hard to cope.

She has struggled with her mental health for a long time but in recent months it has deteriorated, exacerbated a month ago by a situation with my sister and her children. My mum has found this whole thing hard to deal with and spiralled into a deep depression.

We had regular visits form the local crisis team (she came to stay with us) and she said all the right things about how she wanted to move on, felt like she had accepted things etc etc.... however it was all a front and she did nothing to do the CBT offered or any of the anxiety management techniques. Instead she has festered and ruminated over everything, which has led to the current situation.

Over the weekend she has developed delusional behaviour, is convinced I'm making telephone calls about her and is accusing my children of stealing bags of 2p coins. This is not like my mum at all.

She left our home in a fit of anger and walked to a shop to get a taxi. I called the crisis team who visited her at home. When is poke to them they were concerned at how her behaviour was almost staged, like she was masking how she was feeling. It was all very bizarre,
I'm now awaiting a call to see where we go from here, an admission is looking likely but I know she won't go voluntarily.

I'm so worried and frightened for her. I've never seen her like this and I'm so angry at my sister and her children for causing this. My sister has effectively washed her hands of everything leaving me to cope and I can't.

I have looked after her in my home for 4 weeks, have reassured her, cared for her, listened to all of her tearful outbursts along with trying to navigate the legal issues that have arisen with my sister. I am now essential the punch bag, I am the target for her irrational thoughts and she is constantly angry with me.

I love her so much but she can't see the harm she is causing, I know it's because she is so unwell but I'm frightened that she won't get better..

Thank you if you made it all the way through this, I have no-one to turn to. My husband is amazing but her can't grasp mental health issues and is upset to see the harm this has caused to me and our children.

I'm useless with advice and words really but couldn't pass by without a comment. Sorry to hear you going through all this and am thinking of you x

 

[Bidscavan]

Thank you, I know it seems silly I’m so upset over the thought of her wanting me and I’m not there x

It's not silly at all. Hope it all goes well x

 

[Jwren]

I’ve emailed her. She already knows anyway. She’s been so unbelievably wonderful, I can’t stress that enough. She’s an EMDR trauma therapist who’s basically just listened to my woes week after week and helped with minor crises.

It doesn’t help that I’ve just switched ADs too so I’m freshly weaned from my long-term one and not yet on the right dose of the new one.

I see the psychiatrist on Thursday so will talk to him and get the meds sorted which will help.

I had CBT so a little different to EMDR.
That’s a bummer, I had the same happen to me when the AD’s I’d taken for years on and off were pulled off the market, it took a little while to find ones that worked for me. So it might just be a little more time on your new AD’s will really help and then you’ll be able to continue but if you feel the new ones are not working do let your GP know. xx

 

[FlipFlop0706]

I'm struggling.
Post separation abuse, I ended up spending a night in the mental health unit,
So struggling with that, and then one of the people I met there took their own life 8 days later.
I'm broken, and the system is broken, and I hate that I'm still struggling

We’re here for you.
---

I'm not sure if this is the right thread to post on. But I feel so alone, weird when I have a family and supportive partner.
But in this situation I just feel so alone. 6 weeks ago my grandad had heart failure, he had a pace maker fitted. 2 weeks ago he had sepsis and it was pretty much life or death.
10 years ago he got diagnosed with dementia, and after seeing him in hospital today, for the first time ever, he didn't know who I was. I can't stop crying, I can't sleep because it's keeping me up. My poor grandma is 79 and she's just exhausted. She's lost so much weight because of how heartbroken she's been because of my grandad. I just feel far from normality now, I needed to tell somebody else as I don't have any friends to tell apart from my partner. Sorry to bore you all with such a depresso post.

Dementia is awful, I’m so sorry. Please know that it’s his dementia talking. It’s not him. Try to separate him from that horrible illness and try not to take him not recognising you to heart. Think of all the positive times that you have enjoyed with him over the years and share those memories with your partner. As for your grandmother, just keep checking in and supporting her the best you can. Maybe try to organise a rota so she can have a bit of a break from dealing with it all. Invite her round round for dinner every other day to make sure she’s eating or maybe just make her little meals that she can graze on if she doesn’t feel like eating. I know my grandmother lost weight when my grandad went into hospital as she didn’t like cooking big hot meals just for one person.

 

[CrazyGiraffeLady]

I'm not sure if this is the right thread to post on. But I feel so alone, weird when I have a family and supportive partner.
But in this situation I just feel so alone. 6 weeks ago my grandad had heart failure, he had a pace maker fitted. 2 weeks ago he had sepsis and it was pretty much life or death.
10 years ago he got diagnosed with dementia, and after seeing him in hospital today, for the first time ever, he didn't know who I was. I can't stop crying, I can't sleep because it's keeping me up. My poor grandma is 79 and she's just exhausted. She's lost so much weight because of how heartbroken she's been because of my grandad. I just feel far from normality now, I needed to tell somebody else as I don't have any friends to tell apart from my partner. Sorry to bore you all with such a depresso post.

I hope you’re okay x

 

[Futtrit]

Sending smooches

Hope everyone is doing ok.

 

[Good Egg]

Really feeling like absolute shit this evening. Like I can't go on (I will go on and I won't do anything to harm myself, I'm just expressing my feelings, this is just a vent).

I'm not cut out for life. For parenting. Can't deal with the stresses of it. Can't deal with the different personalities and being an emotional coach and negotiator for the whole family. I never signed up for this and am completely unsuited and unqualified and yet here I am, expected to take on this role.

I'm absolutely completely and utterly broken this evening. Every time I feel like I'm getting a break or getting back on my feet from exhaustion and health problems another wave of shit hits me and knocks me over.

What practical things could you do or get help with right now to make things easier for you? To take the load off.
It makes me so sad to read your post. How are you this morning

 

[SforShortbread]

I hope you’re okay x

Thank you. I hope so too. I came off my medication not so long ago. I don't wish to go into a downward spiral of being back on them. X

 

[EllenDeGenerate]

I just don’t know how to cope with looking out for my Mum.
She was widowed 18 months ago and I’m trying my best to keep on top of everything that needs doing in her home and her life, as well as looking after my own home, and working and grieving.
OH and I rarely have any time together. My Mum has more of a social life than me and will often leave me doing jobs in her house while she’s out.
She only asks when she’s gonna see me if she has a week with little going on.
She constantly says after she’s been out, that she can’t be bothered going out with the friends that have rallied round her and she might stop doing it.
She’s having a lot of redecorating done, but because she has to wait in for a delivery this morning she’s fed up with life, the house gets her down and she might move (she won’t - she wouldn’t move away from her friends) the pro kw really is that I can’t take a day off to see it in while
She goes out.
She has problems with her knee and needs a drs appointment but I can’t make one for her while I’m at work and she won’t do it. Then she tells me that she’s had enough, and I feel like I’m not doing enough for her.
She’s always been a bit like this, even while my Dad
Was here, but she just dumps it all on me and half an hour later she’s peeled up and I feel like im in the pits.
I try and tell my Brother but he shrugs it off and says she seemed fine when he last spoke to her - which could be up to a week ago!!
Sorry - I know this isn’t fair of me but just needed somewhere to offload.

I really feel for you. I know your Mum has lost her husband, but you too have lost your Dad. And I'm sorry to say, but your Mum is being a bit selfish, and perhaps taking you for granted somewhat. Maybe you need to pull back a bit, and a good way to start would be to insist your brother steps up to the plate and helps out with your Mum. If you don't change things, your own health will suffer. I speak from vast experience.

 

[Chezza]

My heart goes out to you @Chezza

I wish there was something I could say, to help. Would you consider going back to your GP? And therapy, if possible? I know what you mean about feeling you're isolating yourself, and that's where talking to a professional could help.

Don't be hard on yourself. You fought your way back to health, before, give yourself credit for doing that. Believe me when I say, I know exactly what you mean as regards a toxic workplace. And panic attacks are truly awful things.

It took a lot of me to get help from my GP at the end of last year, I had a pretty awful experience when my daughter was 6 months old and was refused any help while I was still breastfeeding and was also refused therapy. It is something I have considered but it is also some what of a trigger for my anxiety given previous experience so I need to work myself up to it.

Just knowing someone else understands is such a relief so thank you. I've made the decision today I'll be speaking to my manager about reducing my hours, while I can't just quit I can work the hours I was employed to do rather than the nearly full time hours I'm currently doing. I'm hoping that less time in such a toxic environment will help while I desperately look for something else and work on my mental health.

 

[eppingforestbambi]

2023 was a crappy year for me, work was a total bin fire and my physical and mental health took a serious kicking as a result. Instead of channelling that into feeling hopeful for 2024 I just feel defeated and worn out. And it’s the 4th of January. It doesn’t bode well.

Thanks for sharing your story. It sounds like a very tough situation.

Sounds like you are at a real crossroads - do you stay at the company and try to enact the changes you think are needed? (i.e removing the Or do you walk away and break free?

Just know that you don’t have to stay in a role that is making you miserable. There is life on the other side. I’ve left jobs that have made me unhappy, and whilst it can bruise the pride - in the long run they were the best decisions I ever made. Life is too short to be unhappy.

 

[ThisIsMyDragName]

I tried searching for an ED/Anorexia thread but only found two threads about bulimia.

I developed anorexia at 13, (I'm now 36), I had intermissions of recovery from 13 to 25, I am currently going through a period of going back to my old ways. I do also have depression, anxiety, and mild OCD.

I wanted to find a thread dedicated to ana, but I couldn't so I'm just writing my struggles here instead.
I don't need sympathy, or advice. I just wanted to write out how I'm struggling.

I’m sorry you’re struggling, and I’m thinking of you

 

[InTheDollsHouse]

It's okay. Mostly massive panic attacks for everyone and a lot sitting out in cafes all night.
I suffer with massive anxiety and although hospitals here are top notch I panic because of the language barrier.
Am on three monthly checks for heart and brain but I feel like I am a car going in for a service because MrDuck does most of the talking.
You take care. You have been missed x,

I can’t imagine how you’re feeling. We’re always here if you need to talk

 

[eppingforestbambi]

I want to disappear. I feel so alone.
I had a horrible argument with my other half and I just feel so painfully alone. It was that bad that I left and I’m staying in a hotel tonight because I can’t be around him.
I’ve always struggled with depression and I’m starting to think it’s never going to get better

How are things now? Are you back home?

 

[Hairraiser]

Oh bloody hell I’ve put myself in a stupid situation.
long story short, I took some time off work at the beginning of the year for PTSD troubles, I had around 5 months off, in that time I went back for a month then had to go off again as I wasn’t ready to be back.
I’ve been at this job since July last year, and it was advertised as my dream job and since I started I could count on one hand how many times I’ve actually performed my job role, I always get told to do the job of someone who is much much more a lower banding than me. I’ve been there, I went to uni, now I’m still in the same place, it frustrates me ALOT.

so I started looking for a new job, but I wasn’t gonna leave easily, it would have to suit my family life as I have a 2 year old so I was careful about what I applied for.
I applied for 6 in the end, heard back from 1 and had the interview last week, ultimately I got the job and was absolutely buzzing.

I have had a change of heart over the last few days and wasn’t 100% sure I wanted to go for it as it’s a huge change and a totally different role, so initially I was worrying about wether it’s for me or not.
then it got worse yesterday as my current boss has had the reference request sent to her already, so now she knows I’ve been applying for other jobs and wanting to leave.

I’ve emailed her this morning as I’m on leave, and asked her to call me to talk about it. I explained that I had been looking for other jobs but had a change of heart, and didn’t expect the process to go as quick as it did.
She is aware I am unhappy in her team, she even offered to send me on a secondment for a year so she knows I’m not happy.
I guess I’m just now worried that I’ve caused friction for myself when I go back to work next week, she’s always been very supportive of my issues so worth she thinks I’ve just shat all over her and basically told her to stuff her job. When In actual fact, i like working for her, I like the team it’s just the job satisfaction isn’t great.
It’s my birthday tomorrow and I’m so bloody miserable as I am dreading the awkwardness when I return next week, what a waste of annual leave when I feel like shit. I guess I’m just trying to better myself and things don’t seem to be going my way
Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Boy it was hard letting down the other job I was offered but I know it’s the right thing to do.