Fopps writing a book...it would go something like this....
Once upon a time all the people over a size XS in a magical land we so so so OBsessed with changing their mindset so they could wear size 8's that they all decided to listen to and follow the advice of a STUnning wrinkle free, young looking successful woman who had lost 3 stone in 3 months, she told them all about Turkey mince, Fage yogurt and the satiety of food and how using her magic tricks they too could lose 3 stone in 3 months just like she had, she explained they could never of course look as good as her or as thin and STUnning as her as they had all left it too late to want to change their mindsets. She reminded them that if they had done as she had years earlier they too might have also lost 3 stone in 3 months just like her.