Food & Drink #12 Willies and mash

[Oxford_Girl]

Morning Fraus

Any tips for letting stuff go? I have a staff member with I suspect OCD and I find it hugely tiring being constantly picked up on every teeny tiny thing. I appreciate they cannot help their behavior but how might I cope better ? Thanks andhope you get some rest @Flumps and BBC all who need it xx

 

[malolo]

Morning Fraus

Any tips for letting stuff go? I have a staff member with I suspect OCD and I find it hugely tiring being constantly picked up on every teeny tiny thing. I appreciate they cannot help their behavior but how might I cope better ? Thanks andhope you get some rest @Flumps and BBC all who need it xx

Such a frustrating situation for you. Do they realise they're doing it?

Can you wear headphones at work so that you can block out the nitpicking, or listen to something calming afterwards at least?

Stress ball that you can squeeze the life out of while they're nitpicking. Deep breathing techniques. Meditation/calming apps on your phone.

If all else fails, voodoo doll.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Morning Fraus

Any tips for letting stuff go? I have a staff member with I suspect OCD and I find it hugely tiring being constantly picked up on every teeny tiny thing. I appreciate they cannot help their behavior but how might I cope better ? Thanks andhope you get some rest @Flumps and BBC all who need it xx

Could you talk to them about it? Like the saying does it need to be said / do you need to be the one to say it? Maybe ask they phrase feedback as instead of “I hate it when you don’t replace the printer paper” be like “shall we set up a rota for printer paper”? Like be constructive and productive init and shut up with your tit! I used to struggle w a member of my team constantly interrupting me to ask questions, sorry that makes me sound like a witch but he was far too senior to require that much help and he was causing me grief elsewhere too, and I was hugely overworked in that role so needed to just blitz work when I was at my desk. But I used to ask him to bundle all the questions up and we’d schedule 15 mins a day to run through them all. He didn’t pay attention tbh but it halved the interruptions at least you could ask to bundle the tit into one dose per week so it’s easier to process it and you’re not on edge waiting for the next dig?

 

[Flumps]

Thanks all. Managed some sleep, possibly not of the best quality. Am just running round now (well, not now, now I am having a moment and a coffee and a breather) and getting supplies together for him *looks askance at request for 'work laptop'*. Spoke to him earlier, he sounds ok, if v tired, and there seems to be a plan in place for what happens over the next few days. I will stop my hospital blether for a bit now.

Thank you all again. xxxxx

 

[Pixieboots]

Vent as much as you need to @Flumps, it's sometimes helpful just to have laid it all out somewhere innit? Makes some room in your head.

 

[Toffee finger]

@Flumps

 

[Captainmouse]

Glad to hear, you keep on with the blether (autocarrot doesn’t like that for some reason) as much as you need

 

[veryfondoftea]

Spoiler: Babies

I’d like to add my tuppence with regards to baby carriers - I used a connecta and it was wonderful

 

[Alansbigplate]

Ok, all sensible fraus should be in bed by now, but I am going to do an update because I am too wired to sleep for a little bit. I have just got back from the hospital after delivering my bag of PJs and phone chargers. The bloody *lovely* nurses let me in to the ward and because he is in a room by himself, they let me spend some time with him. Shhh... don't tell the rule people.

While I was there, the doctor came back with scan results. I think @heretoreaditall2019 had appendicitis in the unofficial 'What's up with MrF sweepstake'. Except, it's not appendicitis any more, more a great big explosion of horribleness and abscesses and infections. It had probably already burst on Friday (or that was imminent), when we first went to A&E, so I am just going to sit on that for a while or it will make me cross. But now he's on all the IV antibiotics, they've rehydrated him (so dehydrated his kidneys were starting to suffer) and they will be keeping him in for a while, while all that does its job. I am relieved, horrified and a bit shakey. He looks 100x better already, I think because they've already given him nearly 2l of fluid since he's been in, and it is just so good to hear him talking and being more him. I didn't know how scared I was until I stopped being quite so scared and I am not going to think about what might have happened if I hadn't made him ring his GP this morning and if she hadn't sent us back to hospital. Doctor we saw was super cheerful and chatty so I think she thinks they have it all under control, but omg.

I think we’ve talked on here a couple of times about not being taken seriously by medics this is why you were absolutely right to be firm when you went back. It’s atrocious that people aren’t given the depth of investigations they should be because of time or money on the assumption most aren’t what the worst could be, it should be quite the opposite x

 

[Mustard]

@Flumps. glad you got some results and treatment that is working.

 

[Breakdance Badass]

@Flumps glad you pushed for him to get more investigations done, sounds awful, hope they’ve got him sorted a bit now xx

 

[Flumps]

I think we’ve talked on here a couple of times about not being taken seriously by medics this is why you were absolutely right to be firm when you went back. It’s atrocious that people aren’t given the depth of investigations they should be because of time or money on the assumption most aren’t what the worst could be, it should be quite the opposite x

I absolutely know this isn't what I should be focusing on right now, but my mind kind of drifts back to it when I stop doing stuff, and I can't even imagine where we'd have been right now if we hadn't trusted ourselves that this wasn't 'normal'. I am v tired though, so probably shouldn't be thinking too much. I can imagine how hard a job in medicine must be, and I'm not blaming individuals, but it does make you worry about policy.

Anyway, have done my hospital visiting for the day (am deeply in love with this ward of rule-avoiders, who found a little room outside the ward for us to meet in for handover of goods, though maybe I should be feeling guilty about maybe circumventing the system, but meh, I can't bring myself to be). Am probably going to nap now.

On topic. I had 2 Border dark chocolate ginger biscuits for lunch, and am planning a Chinese delivery for my dinner, because I want tasty, comforting food that I don't have to cook (advance thanks to @Jay-cloth Cow for the recommendation I have been hoarding for a while).

 

[Alansbigplate]

I absolutely know this isn't what I should be focusing on right now, but my mind kind of drifts back to it when I stop doing stuff, and I can't even imagine where we'd have been right now if we hadn't trusted ourselves that this wasn't 'normal'. I am v tired though, so probably shouldn't be thinking too much. I can imagine how hard a job in medicine must be, and I'm not blaming individuals, but it does make you worry about policy.

Anyway, have done my hospital visiting for the day (am deeply in love with this ward of rule-avoiders, who found a little room outside the ward for us to meet in for handover of goods, though maybe I should be feeling guilty about maybe circumventing the system, but meh, I can't bring myself to be). Am probably going to nap now.

On topic. I had 2 Border dark chocolate ginger biscuits for lunch, and am planning a Chinese delivery for my dinner, because I want tasty, comforting food that I don't have to cook (advance thanks to @Jay-cloth Cow for the recommendation I have been hoarding for a while).

You can absolutely go to PALS once it’s all done. I did and I know that they spoke directly to the Dr I saw at A&E; his report back pissed me off but I at least knew he’d been spoken to and he would spend more time on diagnoses in future x

 

[Flumps]

You can absolutely go to PALS once it’s all done. I did and I know that they spoke directly to the Dr I saw at A&E; his report back pissed me off but I at least knew he’d been spoken to and he would spend more time on diagnoses in future x

Thank you Al, mate. Really. I know it's silly, but I suppose because I am feeling helpless atm I've been flailing around in my head with how ignored we're feeling about that first visit (it keeps getting dismissed in subsequent conversations. I get why, they don't want to be critical, or even know if they should be critical, of their colleagues) and PALS is completely the right idea. Not for now, obviously, but it makes me feel calmer about being heard later. Thank you, I can't tell you how much that sensible suggestion has soothed me.

 

[Alansbigplate]

Thank you Al, mate. Really. I know it's silly, but I suppose because I am feeling helpless atm I've been flailing around in my head with how ignored we're feeling about that first visit (it keeps getting dismissed in subsequent conversations. I get why, they don't want to be critical, or even know if they should be critical, of their colleagues) and PALS is completely the right idea. Not for now, obviously, but it makes me feel calmer about being heard later. Thank you, I can't tell you how much that sensible suggestion has soothed me.

Doesn’t have to be now at all, and I did it via email the lady on the other end was dead nice and said it’s really important they get the feedback which it is! That’s exactly what happened to me my first visit I was sent away after crying to him that something was definitely wrong and I wanted to close the loop and have him find out he should have listened. Probably gave me some closure about it, too x

 

[crystaleyesd]

Dear @Flumps - been struggling to keep up with both threads, but you are in my thoughts! The cabal are always here for you, and the other fraus who are struggling

 

[Jay-cloth Cow]

I absolutely know this isn't what I should be focusing on right now, but my mind kind of drifts back to it when I stop doing stuff, and I can't even imagine where we'd have been right now if we hadn't trusted ourselves that this wasn't 'normal'. I am v tired though, so probably shouldn't be thinking too much. I can imagine how hard a job in medicine must be, and I'm not blaming individuals, but it does make you worry about policy.

Anyway, have done my hospital visiting for the day (am deeply in love with this ward of rule-avoiders, who found a little room outside the ward for us to meet in for handover of goods, though maybe I should be feeling guilty about maybe circumventing the system, but meh, I can't bring myself to be). Am probably going to nap now.

On topic. I had 2 Border dark chocolate ginger biscuits for lunch, and am planning a Chinese delivery for my dinner, because I want tasty, comforting food that I don't have to cook (advance thanks to @Jay-cloth Cow for the recommendation I have been hoarding for a while).

I hope you enjoy it - best one in the area in my humble opinion!

 

[Switchstreetz]

Thanks all. Managed some sleep, possibly not of the best quality. Am just running round now (well, not now, now I am having a moment and a coffee and a breather) and getting supplies together for him *looks askance at request for 'work laptop'*. Spoke to him earlier, he sounds ok, if v tired, and there seems to be a plan in place for what happens over the next few days. I will stop my hospital blether for a bit now.

Thank you all again. xxxxx

So glad you were firm about getting him checked out, and glad that Mr F is hopefully on the mend now! You can vent in here as much as you need to thats what this space is for.

As for the work laptop...slide it under a chest of drawers and say you couldnt find it I bet his teammates would be horrified if he logged in from a hospital bed and would tell him to get offline too!

 

[Universal]

I absolutely know this isn't what I should be focusing on right now, but my mind kind of drifts back to it when I stop doing stuff, and I can't even imagine where we'd have been right now if we hadn't trusted ourselves that this wasn't 'normal'. I am v tired though, so probably shouldn't be thinking too much. I can imagine how hard a job in medicine must be, and I'm not blaming individuals, but it does make you worry about policy.

Anyway, have done my hospital visiting for the day (am deeply in love with this ward of rule-avoiders, who found a little room outside the ward for us to meet in for handover of goods, though maybe I should be feeling guilty about maybe circumventing the system, but meh, I can't bring myself to be). Am probably going to nap now.

On topic. I had 2 Border dark chocolate ginger biscuits for lunch, and am planning a Chinese delivery for my dinner, because I want tasty, comforting food that I don't have to cook (advance thanks to @Jay-cloth Cow for the recommendation I have been hoarding for a while).

Its so awful, how you are meant to be grateful for a service that fails you. Ive been there. I bypassed PALS and emailed the PA of the NHS Trust when my sister was on a terrible ward in Manchester Royal. Night Staff were talking loudly (shouting) at all hours, toilet filthy, emergency buttons going unchecked and beeping constantly. It was in the very early days of smart phones but we had enough video evidence to prove our concerns, I hated myself as all my mates are nurses or work in supported housing. It really changed things though for the people who were on that ward long term.

 

[Oxford_Girl]

Thank you for your suggestions re my team member xx