Fezza Chit Chat #2 ✌🏻✌🏻

[CouldSizeDown]

Oh shit, that’s no good the week hasn’t been the best.
The Fezzas are the funniest folk around aren’t they!
Twins and a 5 year old, wow! Hat off to you, that’s harder then any day at work most times if you ask me, Mums are the bloody MVP’s.

Anyone heading to Taylor Swift or Blink? What are all the cool kids doing this weekend? I’m doing nothing I hope lol

I’m heading to Taylor Swift tonight!!! We have the most amazing tickets on the floor - basically front row. I’m so excited, but even more excited to watch my 11 year old goddaughter be so excited!

 

[dartsmokingpony]

Are there any messages from your husband’s side? Agree that it could be a guy that has zero respect and is stomping all over the line, but it isn’t reciprocated. I’d still expect some pretty direct shut down messages if my husband received anything like that. To be honest, kind of sounds like there’s more issues if you were already suss and snooping around.

No replies to that from my husbands side, but I can't tell if anything has been deleted.
Obviously there is more issues , but I was snooping because I was suss on his drug use. He tells me it's just a joint occasionally and some beers, but ive been suspecting ita been more. Which has pretty much been confirmed. I don't care if people enjoy recreational nose beers. I used to be fun once upon a time. I just would prefer not to be lied to about it. But obviously curiosity has killed the cat, and now I've found myself on the verge of my world falling apart.

 

[screenfreelookatme]

Congratulations Pony!!! This is wonderful news. It sounds like it was a beautiful, healing birth. Little TC is perfect. Lean on your support network and don’t be scared to ask for help.

It must be so bitter sweet right now because of your asshole husband, but I know that once you’re free from him, you’ll realise how much sweeter life is with just you and your babies.

 

[rulebreaker101]

You both ok? The in laws have been GREAT! They come over a lot & done a complete 360 on their behaviour. They love seeing her, holding her and she smiled last night to them! They rushed for their phones to snap a photo. But me and baby RB are in such a good routine. She’s in bed by 7pm every night. She is a 6-6 routine and did that herself! So when visitors come round which is never lol / mainly the grandparents - I tell them what time to come instead of going by their cues. They want to spend time with her but she needs to stay in her routine. Also, is medium frequent poos normal?

also, if you are ever in south east, bunjil place cafe coffee is awesome. It’s $5 -VERY EXPENSIVE, but for a mumma who enjoys a cuppa and wants someone else to make it , very good coffee. ALSO, I must admit , my baby is mixed fed also. My supply is low..she wasn’t gaining weight when she first came home. I was shattered but came to terms with it. I was actually ok with the formula and mix feeding bcos my mental health was declining when she wasn’t gaining weight. Now she’s 4.1kg & I’m proud. But the stigma behind formula is intense. People look down on me all the time , especially the midwives and I stick it to them everytime. “Breast is best” WELL I’M NOT PRODUCING ENOUGH, I’m doing the best I can & I love my little girl so much. I love waking for her feeds, I love it when she sleeps so she can grow to one day enjoy a baby cino
With me. She is so cute. But she eats and sleeps straight away. She also has a mild tongue tie but it doesn’t effect her drinking x immunisation next week , gonna be a big cry and a heart break to see!
Anyway that’s my life story with her

 

[rulebreaker101]

Thank you so much!! I was in shock! It’s like how much more punishment do you wnana give your son? Ffs. I see her Sunday so I’ll tell her infront of everyone. Sickens me so much. I was like “hmm then you won’t see her grand daughter till you get it, she could die!” Then she said after two months it’s ok. Ffs how much more shit do you wnana put us through. Isn’t even excited about a baby shower, says what’s the point baby isn’t even gonna be there. Fuck off

 

[rulebreaker101]

Thank you. It feels so surreal. She fought and she did it well.

 

[Oops I did it again]

I'm so happy for your @rulebreaker101

Unfortunately for me, I had massive motherly instincts, but my body thought otherwise and I couldn't carry babies.

I'm lucky to have lots of nieces though.

 

[b!tch_eating_crackers]

How are all our mamas with new babies doing? @rulebreaker101 @somanyteeth @dartsmokingpony
(Sorry if I’ve missed any others)

Vent if you’re struggling and need a kind ear.
Share bub’s latest trick/development or something that has made you proud of yourself, if you feel inclined. Sending love.

Hope the weekend is looking good for everyone here.

 

[rulebreaker101]

@rulebreaker101 how are you doing?

I’m good! Still pregnant but enjoying life. She hasn’t dropped yet so I’m forever googling “is baby ok if no drop”. What a worrier I am. I even worry if I’ll dress her right for winter and spent $250 on singlets, love to dream swaddles, onsies and singlets: I’m insane. Hahaha!
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@dartsmokingpony your ex husband is a piece of shit, I can’t believe men out there behave this way towards women and their kids. What a fuckinf loser. Take that asshole to court (if you can) and shred up his dignity. I know nothing about trusts or jobs but your best bet could be a call Center but work from home type? Idk…I’m sorry.
But your kids are happy you are there too keep them happy. How’s your mum doing?

 

[Esme Watson]

@Esme Watson how are you?
I saw you talking about your c-section scar on the ELL thread and raced over here to see if I’ve missed the news of the birth of little Esme or little Bob Hatfield. How are you and how’s your beautiful baby doing?

You didn’t miss the news but mini esme arrived 3 weeks ago! We spend our 3am feeds catching up on the EL thread and having a good old laugh together. Thank you for checking in 🤍

 

[Bizziebody]

How are our fellow fezzas @BeachBaby, @rulebreaker101 & @dartsmokingpony going this week, been thinking of you all & hope you are all ok.

 

[rulebreaker101]

I love that you are all doing a time out type of Easter in your own ways. I decided to cancel all family events and spend time with my boyfriend and stay at home and play video games. Yesterday I felt so relaxed and happy. Haven’t felt that in a long time.

I am also re learning to say no to my family and set boundaries. That’s been a hard task but I am doing ok!

 

[Limpy Love]

@dartsmokingpony I'm really sorry!!

Are you saying that your partner and father of your soon to be born baby, is booting you from your home??

He's a cunt and 100% guilty of something as his "friends" seem to be circling the wagons to protect him.

 

[rulebreaker101]

I MISCARRIED, again oh I am so sad so sad. So so so sad. I can’t even . My period hadn’t arrived since and I’mlike maybe I have hope but nope I miscarried same month as last year

 

[KmartByron]

Howdy fezzas! If anyone remembers my life crumbling at the start of the year here is an update and a question about what my new career should be ? I apologise in advance about the ramble of thoughts.

Sorry I hadn't replied to the last messages checking in to see if I was ok, i really appreciated the thoughts.
Honestly, everything's been shit. The husband has fully checked out of all parenting, our family and kids lives completely. Like none of the past 15 years ever happened.

It turns out all "our" assets are actually owned in with his families trusts or something, I don't understand and feel so stupid about. So I'm without my car, out of our house, with 4 kids. I'm staying with my parents but my mum has gotten unwell suddenly and is now palliative, so that's a shit blow.

My adorable baby fezza is now 3 months old and gorgeous, she is so very loved and adored and it breaks my heart her father has checked out of our life.
my postpartum cardiomyopathy is now deemed chronic heart failure and the pulmonary embolisms are still being treated with massive doses of clexane twice a day, my entire abdomen and thighs are black and blue with bruises. I can't pay for specialist appointments because the accounts I had access too have been emptied.

Im poor, essentially homeless, desperately sad, heartbroken about losing my mum soon, chronically unwell, 3 months postpartum and trying my best to provide a happy life to my4 beautiful children, who are all amazing and deserve the world

I can't go back to work just yet as I'm receiving ppl , and I've realised I won't be able to return to my employment of rotating shift work , night shift, double shifts and overtime as a single mum with no support.

So now that I have had a whinge and a pity party for myself , if you've made it this far, I would like to brain storm with you diverse and intelligent fezzas to what my new career could be ?

I have a couple of Bachelor degrees and postgrad diplomas however, without doxing myself, my current employment is in a very niche area. But broadly speaking, what would a RN be able to change work to that is not in nursing at all ? 9-5, work from home, minimal stress, etc etc .

Rural and regional location make it limiting, and I'm definitly not interesting, beautiful or talented like Emmy, so I won't be able to make it as an influencer

oh Pony, you do t need me to tell you that this is the load to end all loads. . As a (very short) aside, this is why people like ELL shit me to tears, they wouldn’t know adversity if it him them in the face.

Also, some of our more cleverer Fezzas have covered heaps already. Without dozing myself, Workers Comp case management is a good option, although be wary of Case Management & the company you go in to. It usually has a high turnover because the work can be pretty harrowing and it is an entry level role, so sometimes the skills of others around you in those situations can be unhelpful in tense situations. If you can try for something a little more skilled in the same area (specialist advisor, etc) that might be more suited for you.
However, I was thinking that maybe the education side of RN might be something to pursue? Like perhaps those companies that provide upskilling, etc in the field - if the ‘back end’ of RN appeals or is something you’re good at, writing training docs or even as an SME for them, might open up a lot more flexibility as far as the care of your mini fezzas is concerned.
I’ve not had much to do with Centrelink payments and the like, so not much use to you there, and @Broken Veneers has got some great ideas already. However, was just wondering - your mum might qualify for in-home help (low or no cost) via your local council - that could be worth it so it’s one less thing to worry about right now. Otherwise, I would happily contribute whatever you need - even if just stuff for the kids (paying off lay-bys, nappies for our little fezza, etc). Don’t know how but we could find a way. xxx

 

[rulebreaker101]

Merry Christmas fam! Oh how much you guys helped me through my grieving times and my trying times. So much love and support from you and can’t wait till Miss New Fezza arrives next year

 

[somanyteeth]

I would love to tell her to get fucked. I feel so bad for my partner as he isn’t receiving any love or support from his parents during his special time to become a dad you know. I feel so bad for him everyday when she challenges him. It’s like she wants to keep controlling the narrative. Well bitch, wait till you tell your little old friends you haven’t seen your grand daughter because you haven’t got a vaccine. And to think her daughter is a doctor and not helping us push through this. Argh.
Yeah she’s never been to a baby shower in her life so she sees no point in it: less she knows about the event the better. Sick of her trying to make us not do things, get fucked

I feel you!
I had my baby shower at 6 months bc I wanted to have it while I was in Aus, my mum and best friend hosted it so they could all be a part of the pregnacy.
Collectively we agreed to invite my monster in law despite her treating me like shit, causing HUGE fights between my partner and I and her just never returning to my place in London last year bc she didn't want to face me so paidb£1000 to change her flights and leave from italy.
Anyway, my mum and friend sent the invite and this old hag had the audacity to message me and say thanks for the invite and that it meant a lot but we should meet beforehand to "clear the air and make amends and have a strong relationship moving forward". I didnt reply. She's an evil cunt. We were in Aus for 5 weeks before this invite and she didnt even bother to invite me to Christmas or anything, then she left for a holiday in warnambool and Margaret River and was gone for 3 weeks. We are home for 2 months and she couldnt care less about her son too.
Anyway I never replied, she came to the baby shower, made a mockery of herself in front of everyone then thought everything was ok and apologised "for everything" infront of 20 other women.
She's only nice to me now to see the baby. But she isnt welcome at my place in london anymore. She can get an airbnb.
So I feel you. I think you are a nicer person than me though so more power to you Ruley it will work out!

 

[rulebreaker101]

She isn’t out of the woods yet, cancer is still there but she has a lot more energy and her skin colour is coming back - she’s of to a family picnic today - that’s positive

 

[dartsmokingpony]

That's another message from the guy. My husbands aren't as outright, but there are replies and constant communication, asking each other how the day was. Sending photos of mundane things they are doing. They seem to plan to play alot of online xbox games together. I don't know what to do.
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As far as I can tell he has never been to our house, but I work mostly nights and weekends. So the talk of my roster is weekends he is free to go visit. But I know he has been in my car, he thought he lost his airpods in there
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Obvious now why I'm never invited. I feel like an absolute fool.

 

[HumptyDumptyLou]

Fezzas, I have a confession to make - we had a team outing yesterday which included lunch at The Grounds (I live in Sydney) which is a fairly iconic place in an industrial area with old buildings and lots of plants and flowers etc.

There was a group of young people taking various photos of themselves against the backdrop and one started to take a shot of another one of them in the walkway right where I was walking somewhat behind them. Added to this it was 30+ degrees yesterday and the work outing included an escape room activity before lunch so I was hot and already at sensory overload, and I just yelled at them and said “STOP TAKING PHOTOS until I’m out of the way. I don’t want to be in anyone else’s photos!” and was instinctively so angry at these people.

Looking back I probably wouldn’t have been in the frame but I may have reacted like that thanks to Emmy and the little regard she shows to every.one around her at all times. It wasn’t my finest moment, or my worst moment haha, but I did feel ashamed of how I reacted later in the day. Mind you none of the people apologised or said anything, they just looked blankly at me as I waddled past.