Clap clap clap!Jaded, you hit the nail on the head!!!
It would make sense for her to learn these things IF (Big IF), if she was able to retain (which she should be doing), understanding, finding enjoyment and self-value of doing those chores.. As you can tell, Abbie doesn't retain these chores, nor does she retain the learning capabilities of understanding how to do them. They are met with way to many "way to go" and "good job" prompts, while she is doing them, almost to the point of "will you please just be quiet and let me do what I need to do" looks... She shouldn't have to be constantly prompted to do the dishes and we rarely see them even have her do them, outside of ABA... She doesn't understand how this would help in her daily life and she really, frankly, doesn't care nor would understand... I can tell my 11 year old "if we don't help load the dishwasher, so it cleans the cups, then you can't get a clean cup." My child understands this.. Abbie wouldn't understand that whatsoever, from the dishwasher to even needing to have a cup that is clean...
I really think having her pick her outfits, learning to have "her" choice in what to wear, self cleaning (putting her cups in the sink), etc. is way better tasks than what they are trying to accomplish. Also, they should only be doing 1 task at a time and letting that one task sink in, before adding more onto her plate.. Having her do the groceries and the dishes is way to much... IMO!
Also, yes, self soothing and daily just fostering the anxiety down needs to happen.. Abbie seems so stressed out lately and we can only imagine why. She is being dragged around here and there, thrown on planes and into vehicles for long trips, changing her room, changing her careworkers, etc. They literally are doing everything that you shouldn't be doing.. They give no explanation to her (even if she wouldn't understand completely) but she should be told.. She is given no option for anything, even to her own room. Everything is picked out for her.. The girl gets little to no choices in her life, where she should be given those opportunities or at least informed of what is going on...
If anyone was to write a book "What NOT to do raising a Child on the Autism Spectrum," I believe A & P would be able to place their documentary right there...
It's amazing what you said and as a fellow autistic person, I 100% agree! Someone said elsewhere in this thread (either above or below) that if one were to make anything about how NOT to raise an autistic child, A&P would be able to star in it easily!! Lmaohey, autistic person here
i watched FA since they were small (<10k subs) and have been reading here since the first thread. the way they treat abbie genuinely shows how little they know about autism and how autistic brains work, let alone abbie's additional IDD struggles. and there's so much that's Not Great, but for some reason the room makeover really got to me? just thinking about how much thought i've put into my own living space makes me furious at how little they put into hers.
for starters there's no sensory lighting (the light up A box doesnt count). she appears to struggle with fluorescent lights in shops, like i do, and i know that having a space with SOFT LIGHTING and alternatives to the ceiling light + dimmer switches is really important for helping me regulate afterwards and avoid meltdowns! and i know they have the toy box and stuff, but i do wonder how accessible it really is. i deliberately keep stim toys in multiple, visible locations in my space to remind myself to use them before it gets bad !! given that i do this as a college student with a job (not living independently, but still), compared to what abby is shown to be capable of in terms of independent calming makes me wonder if the reason priss says she 'isnt interested' in stim toys is bc she lacks the forward planning to engage with things that arent 'there' ie packed away. the whole 'teenage girl' room is stupid too. im an adult and my room is covered in my special interests bc my space is a safe space. its literally my only reprieve from the overstimulating world and im just. i dont understand how they could knowingly go out of their way to eliminate anything that shows who she is or helps give her a sensory space that is actually positive for her to be in. the fact that p also said her room previously made her 'sad' is jarring. autistic people and their needs are not 'sad'.
dont know if this is related or not, but noticed they stopped keeping her blankets in the back of their car for her to put over her head. she put p's scarf over her head a few times. theyre so hell bent on pretending she isnt who she is and it's downright disturbing
Does this comment not suggest that they just let her ‘exist’ then? She has a right to learn new skills just like anybody else, and hate them or love them, they are providing her that opportunity.I have to wonder if there's a certain point where "learning new skills" just makes life harder on everyone, including Abbie. I understand wanting to push her to grow and do more, but when you're teaching a child to do things, there's generally an expectation that they will progress. Why are they concerned about her unloading dishwasher or putting groceries away? It's pretty obvious she won't be able to do these tasks herself, nor does she want to. She's never going to be able to live independently. Instead of stressing the whole family out multiple times a week teaching her "skills" that aren't sticking, wouldn't it be in everyone's best interest to build a life around the realities of her abilities? She's not going to progress much into her adult years, shouldn't they be preparing long-term to live with someone who has the abilities of a toddler? If she's not going to be able to do chores independently and she doesn't get any satisfaction in "helping" do those chores, why have her do them?? What is she learning? They get hung up on her doing specific tasks that aren't really benefiting her or them at all, but they act like it's important for her to work on them on principle.
there are other things they could do to engage her. literally take it back to a toddler level . they could establish her afternoon routine, giver her time to chill but engage her in some sensory play after, being more consistent with taking her to the park and teaching her skills there. she should really be in OT and PT and maybe SLP outside of school as well. we know that she doesn't have any distinct 'interests', but part of that seems to be down to the fact that she lacks the ability to independently explore things that could be of potential interest. is priscilla likes to cook so much, something more hands on could be really beneficial and used as a teaching tool for not grabbing food! even just sitting on the couch or floor with her and playing with the toy keyboard or some blocks- there are plenty of kids toys that make noise and are interactive, but like a toddler she would most likely benefit from one-on-one play time. i'm honestly amazed that they don't spend more time on communication and teaching her how to express her needs beyond food and extremely basic activities. maybe even some sort of in-home music therapy could be helpful? i know money comes into all of these but with what they seem to waste money on in the vlogs...Does this comment not suggest that they just let her ‘exist’ then? She has a right to learn new skills just like anybody else, and hate them or love them, they are providing her that opportunity.
If they didn’t push her to learn new skills, there would be comments on here about how they don’t try to help her progress...
I agree, just think of how much her motor skill would improve if they got some of those musical stacking blocks and actually play with her. Toddlers need to be taught how to play (to some degree), you show them what you can do with blocks, how you can stack them, throw them, whatever really. But that would require them to join her on the ground and be creative. They are trying to engage her as a teenager, while she is mentally a toddler. They explain her lack of interest by saying she is just a typical teenager but she isn't. Her lack of interest most likely stems from the fact that she doesn't know what to do with the things she is given and that all comes back to them not engaging her in play activities.there are other things they could do to engage her. literally take it back to a toddler level . they could establish her afternoon routine, giver her time to chill but engage her in some sensory play after, being more consistent with taking her to the park and teaching her skills there. she should really be in OT and PT and maybe SLP outside of school as well. we know that she doesn't have any distinct 'interests', but part of that seems to be down to the fact that she lacks the ability to independently explore things that could be of potential interest. is priscilla likes to cook so much, something more hands on could be really beneficial and used as a teaching tool for not grabbing food! even just sitting on the couch or floor with her and playing with the toy keyboard or some blocks- there are plenty of kids toys that make noise and are interactive, but like a toddler she would most likely benefit from one-on-one play time. i'm honestly amazed that they don't spend more time on communication and teaching her how to express her needs beyond food and extremely basic activities. maybe even some sort of in-home music therapy could be helpful? i know money comes into all of these but with what they seem to waste money on in the vlogs...
I agree entirely. I have noticed in the past with brandy working with her that she has to be prompted each time to carry out the same tasks. She doesn’t seem to retain the information. I have often thought in earlier vlogs what the point of doing the tasks was as she had to be shown each time.I have to wonder if there's a certain point where "learning new skills" just makes life harder on everyone, including Abbie. I understand wanting to push her to grow and do more, but when you're teaching a child to do things, there's generally an expectation that they will progress. Why are they concerned about her unloading dishwasher or putting groceries away? It's pretty obvious she won't be able to do these tasks herself, nor does she want to. She's never going to be able to live independently. Instead of stressing the whole family out multiple times a week teaching her "skills" that aren't sticking, wouldn't it be in everyone's best interest to build a life around the realities of her abilities? She's not going to progress much into her adult years, shouldn't they be preparing long-term to live with someone who has the abilities of a toddler? If she's not going to be able to do chores independently and she doesn't get any satisfaction in "helping" do those chores, why have her do them?? What is she learning? They get hung up on her doing specific tasks that aren't really benefiting her or them at all, but they act like it's important for her to work on them on principle.
I agree, just think of how much her motor skill would improve if they got some of those musical stacking blocks and actually play with her. Toddlers need to be taught how to play (to some degree), you show them what you can do with blocks, how you can stack them, throw them, whatever really. But that would require them to join her on the ground and be creative. They are trying to engage her as a teenager, while she is mentally a toddler. They explain her lack of interest by saying she is just a typical teenager but she isn't. Her lack of interest most likely stems from the fact that she doesn't know what to do with the things she is given and that all comes back to them not engaging her in play activities.
I really could forgive all of that if they wouldn't pretend to know everything and be some beacon of light for Autism parents. They are far to confident in what they're doing for parents who really have no clue what they are doing.
Maybe it's just because of where i'm from but this doesn't strike me as odd. It's pretty common for people with the mental age of Abbie to not have boundaries like that and it isn't easy to teach her those because she doesn't understand that kind of thing (same reason why you can't teach her stranger danger). Same goes for Ass bathing her, as long as Abbie is okay i don't find it weird. Female professionals bath male patients all the time, there isn't a law that says that can't happen. Honestly i have no respect for how they do things but this in my opinion isn't a reason to worry, as long as it doesn't bother Abbie i don't see the problem.I'm So glad someone mentioned the BATHING thing!! If course, that family would calls IS perverts but, my husband stopped bathing my daughter when she was 3. All my flags went up went Asa spoke of bathing her. What?? She's 15!! And, he has also said that when people are in the bathroom, A will break the door in, get undressed and shower with Priscilla. Every day. Priscilla showers with her 15 yr old. someone, please call Protective Services!!
But how would anyone truly know if it bothers her or not? I've seen mention of regression, so couldn't that maybe be an indicator? How would that be determined since Ab can't verbalize if she's uncomfortable with it? (Hi everyone... posting for the first time and so many of the posts here are spot on.)Honestly i have no respect for how they do things but this in my opinion isn't a reason to worry, as long as it doesn't bother Abbie i don't see the problem.
@WhoaThatsCrazy I have 4 children on the Autism Spectrum... So, I live in the “world of Autism” daily..Clap clap clap!
Out of my own curiousity, are you autistic @Sam-I-Am? Jw
It's amazing what you said and as a fellow autistic person, I 100% agree! Someone said elsewhere in this thread (either above or below) that if one were to make anything about how NOT to raise an autistic child, A&P would be able to star in it easily!! Lmao
I stand corrected. When I was at school, it required a 2 year residency. I don’t know if Isaiah would be able to claim residency either, unless he moved into a house or apartment though because he wouldn’t be there for 12 straight months. I know they usually require the dorms to be empty over the summer..As I already stated, It only takes ONE year to get residency in NC.