I’ve mostly mentioned that MD was “grabbing at straws” in her videos. If ‘so many here keep mentioning to believe MD due to her supposed ASD,’ then why go off on my post? I haven’t seen you say that once & MD has been discussed all week.
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But, it is reinforcing the behavior.Yep I remember that too! It was also not just any old 'regular' punishment, it was because Abbie hated the sensory experience of sweeping - exactly why ABA is sh*t! Using someone's least favourite sensory experiences against them..that's not cool! Also, in one of the viral supermarket videos, I'm pretty sure Arsewipe and P say that they can't leave because (something along the lines of) "ABA taught us that if you leave you're reinforcing the behaviour". Um, no, it's not "behaviour", a supermarket is literally sensory hell for most autistic people, I struggle in them too.
If I flip out in the grocery store because I want my favorite cereal, and my Mom gave in and put the cereal in cart, what just happened?
I try, but cant get behind it. Whats the solution? She never leaves the house? Never does a chore?
Rewarding good behavior with positive reinforcers like food is compared to training a dog, and every punishment is considered torture.
So whats the answer? Abbie gets to live and behave however she chooses? Not trying to be snotty, but that isnt helping her.
I know that you did and i was suprised by your statement that they should listen, because she has ASD. Did you mean something else?
I have mentioned not supporting this "she is right, because autism" and called her videos opinion pieces and her projecting and your post that seemed to do the same prompted me to state my opinion. It could have been a response to another post, but it was yours. I phrased it more like a general statement though and didn't mention you directly, I letreally used this one sentence as a cliffhanger, which then resulted in you calling me rude and defensive.
Well, they do say some hurt the ones they love. I don’t think Abbie hates P, I just think she is more fun to pinch (like a Squishie). Assa is more firm verbally? My guess. Abbie is manipulative. She also can’t control her biting tantrums & stop herself when Assa’s hand or arm is in the way of her own. But I’m sure there are glimpses of cuddle times w/ her mom. I do think P has had to guard herself emotionally.
I totally get her emotions w/ Isa. leaving! But she could probably benefit from a SSRI.
It is reinforcing a behavior when it teaches Abbie that if she gets upset enough, throws enough of a fit, she won't have to do something she doesn't want to or feel like doing. Every child, NT or ND has to be taught how to function in the world and that includes them doing chores that they don't enjoy or not being allowed to do certain things that are harmful/dangerous to themselves or others and also teaching them they can't get their own way all the time.Yep I remember that too! It was also not just any old 'regular' punishment, it was because Abbie hated the sensory experience of sweeping - exactly why ABA is sh*t! Using someone's least favourite sensory experiences against them..that's not cool! Also, in one of the viral supermarket videos, I'm pretty sure Arsewipe and P say that they can't leave because (something along the lines of) "ABA taught us that if you leave you're reinforcing the behaviour". Um, no, it's not "behaviour", a supermarket is literally sensory hell for most autistic people, I struggle in them too.
I think it's different when you're a parent raising a ND child, versus you interacting with a ND adult. This is not to say that ND kids don't deserve respect, kindness, and compassion. They absolutely do. But at the same time, they can't be allowed to just do whatever they feel like, whenever they feel like it. You wouldn't allow that for a NT kid. Yes, you make exceptions and adjustments for a ND kid... but they still need to be disciplined and taught there are some things they can't do.
I wish you had acknowledged my previous posts about not totally trusting MD’s word. I’m high sensory & possibly on the spectrum myself. I only ended w/ listening to MD because she has ASD (or however I put it) because that was the concensus here & long ago I was picked apart for sounding ableist. (Meanwhile, the tide has changed here over the last year & ableist comments haven’t been a hot topic). I so much had said that I felt sorry for Abbie. Having mentioned that, Greyson Niles guy spoke a lot about that & he definitely sounds Aspie, from my experience (no offense anyone! he sounds intelligent & articulate) but I personally can’t totally get behind his views on ASD, because I’m a feelings person (empath most likely) & if parents feel like they need to mourn over an ASD dx, then so be it, as long as it comes to healing & acceptance. But we all have our good & bad days, so it’s not the end of the world for a parent to feel sad. Plus, social media probably doesn’t help.
Btw, I cringe at the word projecting. I am not sure if I believe in it. Anyone else feel this way? Assa used it once against maybe the lame goth mom (who made vids about FA mos ago).
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The whole ABA thing is very controversial. There is the FA side of "this is the best ever!" and the other extreme is "this is conversion therapy!" and trying to find a middle ground is almost impossible (even though both sides are wrong or at least not thinking things all the way through/ just showing things in a very one sided way).
I would like to go more into detail, but it would be a huge, long and boring post. So I will go with the sweeping and the supermarket thing.
I have no issues with sweeping as punishment. Abbie misbehaved (in the car and in a dangerous way like opening the door) and there have to be consequences. It was also a short episode. There has been speculation about Abbie having traumatic memories associated with it, but there is absolutely no evidence.
The supermarket is a bit different. Those things can be torture for people with sensory processing disorder and just powering through would actually hurt in the long run (negative association). Here is where the whole ABA thing falls short. I simply breaks stuff down to behaviour and disregards anything going on in the brain (makes sense as it is literally operant conditioning). It just treats the symptom, not the cause. There is also the difference between tantrum and meltdown (complicated to boil down, but ask if interested). Solutions outside of ABA are usually things like headphones or sunglasses (to lower the sensory input) and fidget toys.
It is a fine line between using conditioning (which all parents do sometimes) and trying to find the underlying cause. Just breaking stuff down to "don't reinforce" or "muh sensory issues" is just not doing the topic or the complexity of the human brain any justice.
Wow, I read the whole thing with horror! Hope you and your kid are better now x
Just out of curiosity, only because I'm incredibly wishful and utopian, how do you think CPS could be better/*should* work? Or should the US foster care/child abuse removal system be completely scrapped and redone?
Just curious
Okay, fair. I could have done that. It seems to be a hassle for something that was intended as a general statement though. But I get why you could feel attacked.
I don't know or care about what was considered ableist or about that other guy. I just commented on something that I didn't agree with and that has been happening a lot over the last week or so.
Projection is a scientific term in psychology. You (or anyone else) believing in it doesn't matter.
That's what I thought as well. It wasn't too long ago, maybe around 3 - 4 weeks ago, that Asa was saying that Abbie exhibits aggression almost every day. Now in today's vlog, he's saying it doesn't happen very often. It's like when he said that Abbie hasn't slept during the day for YEARS when there is video evidence to the contrary. There was something else he tried to say Abbie hasn't done in a really long time, despite contrary video evidence, again. I can't recall what it is at the moment but if I remember later, I'll post it. I think it might have been something related to Abbie and the pool.“Maybe the noticeable stress the rest of the family is under”...
So...aggression happens often? Or it doesn’t? Way to contradict yourself there Moobie.
They have mentioned aggression many times, so maybe your chaotic circus is a constant stress on Abbie. The level of deflect and defend is maddening.
So, Abbie may have been dry in that vlog the other day, but not for for long according to the missing biohazard couch cushion!
back to the vlog.....they are such idiots
He contradicts himself and outright LIES so often... I don't know how he manages it. Altho, I would say he's not managing very well.
****E.T.A - I remember now. Asshat tried to claim that Abbie has not tried to jump into water (other than their pool) for years. When there is a video of it happening last summer with the video titled something like "Didn't think she'd jump in!" and there was another video recently that Summer did w/ Abbie where she took her to the beach and Summer had to quickly stop Abbie from running into the water with her clothes on (altho, knowing Abbie, she probably would have started to strip once she got into the water).
Just to add a bit to the sensory issue thing. I have pretty bad sensory issues. Add in Scotopic Sensitivity Syndrome and most stores are torture. Too long and I can be sick the rest of the day. Also will get increasingly agitated, anxiety/panic attacks. On a bad day it can be really bad.
Think of something someone does that bothers you so much that you have maybe exaggerated adverse reaction to. Loud chewing, nails on the chalk board, tickling, poking you... I don't know we all have things that we really don't like. Then imagine not being able to avoid it or make it stop. Even if you show you are upset and want it to stop. Because you would be getting your way and your reaction to the stimulus would be reward.
I dunno kinda rambly there but it's the best I can give my thoughts on forcing someone with sensory issues in situations you know is a struggle for them.
That's exactly why many autistic people hate ABA! Also, in my observation, most of the "ABA lovers" are *parents* of autistic children, and therapists and medical professionals. Even the US government did a survey where about 90% of responders said ABA was not helpful/didn't work...
On October 10 2018, Ab ran and jumped into the hotel pool during one of her Surfers for Autism weekends. It wasn't caught on camera, but Asshat mentions it and Ab has wet hair.
I didn't know how useful those notes I took (and wanted to throw out) are.
I know this gif is a lil blurry but, tattle won't let me upload a better version.
But here is P making a face and shaking her head looking extremely annoyed after Abbie having lashed out at her. I'm not saying it wouldn't be upsetting to be on the receiving end of something like that... but P's reaction is like "I can't believe I have to put up with this bullshit."
But here is P making a face and shaking her head looking extremely annoyed after Abbie having lashed out at her. I'm not saying it wouldn't be upsetting to be on the receiving end of something like that... but P's reaction is like "I can't believe I have to put up with this bullshit."
i think he edited the R word out and replaced it with dork.. cause the first time i watch the vid, i heard the R word and i watched again and now its dork..
sneaky.
sneaky.
That video is very touching, that close up of her is precious, it’s so sad how she’s regressed so much
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If he can isolate Isaiah's track that would be most helpful. Thank you and him for doing this.
I get it Abbie is difficult to handle, especially when she is aggressive but I think Priscilla never got a handle on not being the “fun” parent and that she needed to discipline Abbie.. She never accepted that there was something wrong with Abbie for a very long time and way beyond the age of trying to use any type of discipline. She let Abbie run all over her, sitting down at Isaiah’s ball game and she just let Abbie beat all over her, this was just one time of many, that we seen Abbie do this..
As Abbie got older, she knew she could lash out without any consequences and sadly, even neurotypical kids know that they can do the same and Abbie picked up on this..
Priscilla is now just still on the receiving end and I think she just can’t deal with it. Someone else posted that if something was to happen to Asa, that Abbie would be in a care home within a few months. I don’t even give it a few months. The first lash out, Priscilla would be done and on the phone...
I don’t even know if Priscilla could even start trying to disciplining her and getting through to her, at this late of an age, that lashing out and being violent with her, is inappropriate and won’t be tolerated..
I will say, Priscilla should just thank her lucky stars that Isaiah was sweetheart and never challenged her parenting and/or wanted to become a rule breaker or that Asa came back and helped guide him. Can you imagine if Asa didn’t come back? Priscilla could have let Isaiah run all over her too, if he hadn’t been just a very sweet child...
can someone explain what the difference in a meltdown and tantrum is? Cause they seem to be the same thing to me.
you’re welcome! He said he would try. It might not be tonight but I’ll have it soon.
Asa's reasoning is that if she starts fussing and you're able to give her something or do something for her and the fussing stops - then it's a tantrum. If there's nothing you can say or do, she just continues tantruming and the intensity escalates etc then it's a meltdown.
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