Fathering Autism #42 Life jackets are for dogs. These parents are self absorbed hogs.

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I get it Abbie is difficult to handle, especially when she is aggressive but I think Priscilla never got a handle on not being the “fun” parent and that she needed to discipline Abbie.. She never accepted that there was something wrong with Abbie for a very long time and way beyond the age of trying to use any type of discipline. She let Abbie run all over her, sitting down at Isaiah’s ball game and she just let Abbie beat all over her, this was just one time of many, that we seen Abbie do this..
As Abbie got older, she knew she could lash out without any consequences and sadly, even neurotypical kids know that they can do the same and Abbie picked up on this..
Priscilla is now just still on the receiving end and I think she just can’t deal with it. Someone else posted that if something was to happen to Asa, that Abbie would be in a care home within a few months. I don’t even give it a few months. The first lash out, Priscilla would be done and on the phone...
I don’t even know if Priscilla could even start trying to disciplining her and getting through to her, at this late of an age, that lashing out and being violent with her, is inappropriate and won’t be tolerated..

I will say, Priscilla should just thank her lucky stars that Isaiah was sweetheart and never challenged her parenting and/or wanted to become a rule breaker or that Asa came back and helped guide him. Can you imagine if Asa didn’t come back? Priscilla could have let Isaiah run all over her too, if he hadn’t been just a very sweet child...
I mentioned before in the baseball field pulling P’s hair, my first response was I didn’t feel sorry for P I lost respect for her to allow that to happen, Autism or not that sitch needs to be addressed right there!
 
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I mentioned before in the baseball field pulling P’s hair, my first response was I didn’t feel sorry for P I lost respect for her to allow that to happen, Autism or not that sitch needs to be addressed right there!

A few people have talked about that video and I just wanted to point out that A&P explained that they were allowing Abbie to do that and filming it for Abbie's Dr's to see and that they put a stop to it when P says in the video "Ok that's enough, Asa."

I know that they lie about a lot of stuff but I think they were actually being honest in this case.
 
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If someone remembers the vlog when P was starting to take Abbie to school one morning and she straight up attacked her, I mean when P finally got her strapped in the car she looked like she been through a wind tunnel, mascara smeared, the whole bit...I can’t find it, she was wearing a very bright blue floral top
 
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But, it is reinforcing the behavior.
If I flip out in the grocery store because I want my favorite cereal, and my Mom gave in and put the cereal in cart, what just happened?
I try, but cant get behind it. Whats the solution? She never leaves the house? Never does a chore?
Rewarding good behavior with positive reinforcers like food is compared to training a dog, and every punishment is considered torture.
So whats the answer? Abbie gets to live and behave however she chooses? Not trying to be snotty, but that isnt helping her.
Well there are sensory friendly hours, at least in some supermarkets where I live here in NZ. Also online shopping.
Before the pandemic, disabled people have been saying for years that online/video conferences could work, sometimes better. Same with online shopping/click and collect. Yet often people were branded as ';lazy' for this. Yet now that we're suddenly in a (devastating) global pandemic, everyone is amazed at how wonderful video conferences and online classes work (albeit, some, not all) and how convenient online/click and collect shopping is!
And also @RocketQueen what you just described was a tantrum, not a sensory meltdown...
There are ways for her to have a productive life (walks outside, sports, activities, music, art, etc) and there are more helpful ways of teaching one to do chores than just doing it in a behaviourist way - punishment for a behaviour *you* (parent/therapist) sees as wrong...there are always reason as to why someone is reacting or behaving in a certain way.
 
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Just asking because I watched this video and I’m like wtf?
A tantrum is mainly geared towards the environment and people around the person. It is either a last ditch attempt to get something (think toddler in front of the candy isle) or to really hammer home how upset you are. Plus of course being frustrated and letting that out (kids haven't learned how to self soothe yet, so they have an unfiltered outburst)
A meltdown is an involuntary reaction to distress, usually sensory overload (but also a change to the daily routine for example). It can't be controlled at all and other people don't matter. There is no goal, it is just a visible manifestation of being overwhelmed. There is also the opposite reaction, the shutdown. Same reason opposite reaction (person doesn't react at all, doesn't speak).
 
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I never discounted or questioned her feelings. I have an issue with two things that you just threw into a pile now. First, MD doesn't say how she feels or would feel. That is absolutley fine and can give interesting insights. What she did a lot though was projecting her own feelings and assuming how Abbie must feel, based on them both having ASD. Plus calling it outright abuse.
My original comment was never about her, it was about people here on Tattle taking her words as truth and just going with it, because she "has ASD too, so she knows"(paraphrasing here). This is just not how it works though. I said that me having ASD myself doesn't give me psychic abilities about other people's feelings, because it doesn't. And the same goes for MD. Her opinions are her opinions. They are just not inherently true, because "what she says makes sense".
Edit: I was clearly not referring to MD but myself as I mentioned spending a lot of time on education research. I don't know what her background is, so why would I talk about it in this way?
I just love your new profile pic... ;) ;) (y)
 
Asa's reasoning is that if she starts fussing and you're able to give her something or do something for her and the fussing stops - then it's a tantrum. If there's nothing you can say or do, she just continues tantruming and the intensity escalates etc then it's a meltdown.
A meltdown is more like a breakdown, IMO, where you just crash and explode with feelings, and overwhelm, and a tantrum is more I want that. But tantrums are often automatically seen as manipulative etc, when in a toddlers case, or in someone who can't communicate well such as Abbie, they either haven't learnt/been taught how to ask or express their feelings in a better way, or they haven't been given access to *decent* communication to be able to calmly and safely express their needs and wants.
 
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A tantrum is mainly geared towards the environment and people around the person. It is either a last ditch attempt to get something (think toddler in front of the candy isle) or to really hammer home how upset you are. Plus of course being frustrated and letting that out (kids haven't learned how to self soothe yet, so they have an unfiltered outburst)
A meltdown is an involuntary reaction to distress, usually sensory overload (but also a change to the daily routine for example). It can't be controlled at all and other people don't matter. There is no goal, it is just a visible manifestation of being overwhelmed. There is also the opposite reaction, the shutdown. Same reason opposite reaction (person doesn't react at all, doesn't speak).
Yep you nailed it! Lots of people notice meltdowns, but I have shutdowns and sometimes it can feel *worse* as people might just see you as quiet or tired, when in reality every sensory thing in the room feels like it is consuming you - the TV's, the music, the chatter and laughter, the clinking of glasses, etc..yeah.
Glad you pointed that one out for people too! :)

A few people have talked about that video and I just wanted to point out that A&P explained that they were allowing Abbie to do that and filming it for Abbie's Dr's to see and that they put a stop to it when P says in the video "Ok that's enough, Asa."

I know that they lie about a lot of stuff but I think they were actually being honest in this case.
But it's a bit rude for them to post online, give her some dignity! Geez :(
 
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And here it's comes
1. Smoked butt ... nah too easy
2. Abbie helps in the kitchen but we don't see it
3. Abbie signs bathroom and he says well go...is she miraculously potty trained
4. Cue sincere voice about how isaiah is going to miss hauling Abbie around
5. Awww how special piggys gonna cry for the billionth time.
.give it up already
6. Poor Abbie having to play with a piece of paper in the background
7. She didn't pee but yet the cushions gone
8. Good Lord it's not like they haven't known about him leaving
9. Odd the agression is mainly directed at piggy
10. Still not going to have sympathy for piggy
11. AND THE SINCERE TALK IS HERE
12. Ohoh piggys losing it in the background
13. Abbie is not happy but they keep on vlogging instead of addressing Abbie
14. Wiseass comment from Isaiah at 11.40
15. I'm fairly sure no one DM'd Isaiah or it would have been mentioned already..at 12 35
16. He's been deleting the comments abt what he said trolls are saying,, sure now act surprised
16. Go shout from the rooftops what a great life Abbie has Piggy
17. Whole video was basically how leghumpers sent so much support and love...what no gift cards

Assa and Bitchella can climb into a dumpster as far as I'm concerned. Isiah may have crossed a bridge of no return in terms of arrogance.
I know I missed stuff but could not take watching their sorry asses any more
The end
#6 looks like she's playing with the CPS pamphlet they supposedly got the other day. 😂
 
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A few people have talked about that video and I just wanted to point out that A&P explained that they were allowing Abbie to do that and filming it for Abbie's Dr's to see and that they put a stop to it when P says in the video "Ok that's enough, Asa."

I know that they lie about a lot of stuff but I think they were actually being honest in this case.
Yes, that’s totally believable and I remember him saying It as well, but the point was made and it was alittle longer to let it continue, but that’s just how I saw it, but I do understand to showing the Dr is relevant
 
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Yep you nailed it! Lots of people notice meltdowns, but I have shutdowns and sometimes it can feel *worse* as people might just see you as quiet or tired, when in reality every sensory thing in the room feels like it is consuming you - the TV's, the music, the chatter and laughter, the clinking of glasses, etc..yeah.
Glad you pointed that one out for people too! :)


But it's a bit rude for them to post online, give her some dignity! Geez :(
I have both, but shutdowns are more common. I don't notice anything anymore, I am like a TV that got switched off. It is more difficult to handle as people don't notice it, still demand things and get more impatient when I "fail to deliver".
 
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A tantrum is mainly geared towards the environment and people around the person. It is either a last ditch attempt to get something (think toddler in front of the candy isle) or to really hammer home how upset you are. Plus of course being frustrated and letting that out (kids haven't learned how to self soothe yet, so they have an unfiltered outburst)
A meltdown is an involuntary reaction to distress, usually sensory overload (but also a change to the daily routine for example). It can't be controlled at all and other people don't matter. There is no goal, it is just a visible manifestation of being overwhelmed. There is also the opposite reaction, the shutdown. Same reason opposite reaction (person doesn't react at all, doesn't speak).
You said this perfectly! I just deleted my post because you covered it all!! Also including shutdowns! Never knew those were even part of the Autism Spectrum until I had a child that constantly was shutting down..
 
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A tantrum is mainly geared towards the environment and people around the person. It is either a last ditch attempt to get something (think toddler in front of the candy isle) or to really hammer home how upset you are. Plus of course being frustrated and letting that out (kids haven't learned how to self soothe yet, so they have an unfiltered outburst)
A meltdown is an involuntary reaction to distress, usually sensory overload (but also a change to the daily routine for example). It can't be controlled at all and other people don't matter. There is no goal, it is just a visible manifestation of being overwhelmed. There is also the opposite reaction, the shutdown. Same reason opposite reaction (person doesn't react at all, doesn't speak).
Ah thank you for that.

see I don’t have kiddos so I didn’t really know the difference and I wasn’t to sure.
 
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A few people have talked about that video and I just wanted to point out that A&P explained that they were allowing Abbie to do that and filming it for Abbie's Dr's to see and that they put a stop to it when P says in the video "Ok that's enough, Asa."

I know that they lie about a lot of stuff but I think they were actually being honest in this case.
I agree that it went on for to long though... They also didn’t need to post it.. Also, what was her doctor going to do? They only handle medications usually or send referrals for therapy. I would think Brandi should have been give a view of it and let her handle how to deal with this behavior and teaching them techniques how to stop it..
 
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Isaiah has become soooooo arrogant. I have come to really dislike him.
 
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A meltdown is more like a breakdown, IMO, where you just crash and explode with feelings, and overwhelm, and a tantrum is more I want that. But tantrums are often automatically seen as manipulative etc, when in a toddlers case, or in someone who can't communicate well such as Abbie, they either haven't learnt/been taught how to ask or express their feelings in a better way, or they haven't been given access to *decent* communication to be able to calmly and safely express their needs and wants.
I think I’ve had some “meltdowns” in my day. I was diagnosed at a very young age with a lot of mental illnesses. When I was around 15ish I started causing selfharm (cutting mainly). As I got older I went to a psychiatrist because I had went through my best friend getting murdered, my husband wanting a divorce and a bunch of other things all in a few short weeks. I had to quit my job due to being extremely suicidal. I was able to overcome that but was placed on some medication which did in fact lead me to attempting suicide 3 times within a year in 2018.
 
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But she wants to exploit her child just liken the Massives. Going down to part-time to vlog says it all. I just feel it is so wrong. Good vibes to u!
I guess we'll see. I just think she comes across as likeable. Of course that could all change.
 
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I agree that it went on for to long though... They also didn’t need to post it.. Also, what was her doctor going to do? They only handle medications usually or send referrals for therapy. I would think Brandi should have been give a view of it and let her handle how to deal with this behavior and teaching them techniques how to stop it..
It did go on for too long, I agree with that. As far as I know, Abbie has a GP and a psychiatrist. I would think the video was for the psychiatrist because altho, yes, their primary objective is prescribing meds, they need something to base it on so they know which meds are appropriate. Abbie obviously can't verbalize what she's experiencing and perhaps A&P weren't doing a great job of articulating Abbie's behaviors and the Dr wanted to see it for themselves. Or maybe it's a way of preventing parents from making things up just to get their kids on really strong meds to keep them tranquilized. There are a lot of possibilities.
I would assume that Brandi was given a copy as well but I don't know that for a fact.

I have mixed feelings about them posting it for public view. On the one hand, it does show the reality of what Abbie's behaviors were/are like and we've seen her do similar things in the vlogs. There was no nudity or something like going to the bathroom on herself. It does bring some sort of awareness for people who've never experienced it or known about it before.
On the other hand, Abbie cannot consent to being on video and put on YT for everyone to see. She does have the right to privacy and dignity. I don't dispute any of those things. I just don't feel that it's completely black or white. There's a lot of grey areas.
 
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