Fathering Autism #158 Asa wants to raise quail. Prissy the Centaur has a curly tail.

[WowMeowMeowWow]

A Maassive emerges linking Amazon…..SALAD kitchen ware.

Make it stop!
Your girl will spend the next decade trying to figure out that salad spinner.

 

[RocketQueen]

WOOHOO! (my centaur sound effect)

Great title @SCCOct66! And as always, thank you to @WowMeowMeowWow for keeping us Tattling!!

And what a birthday! I am LOVING Lauren's success. Yes, she is using the medication, but she is legitimately working out and eating better. Unllike the lazy slor in Jax, she is making the most of this opportunity and I am here for it!

I hope P is just crushed on her "special" day. Blubbering and whining to Atha as she crams a brontosaurus steak and basketball sized potato into her gaping maw!

 

[Angret]

Things have not been good with my sibling since my mom died. He’s been in a downward spiral, by an unhappy sequence of events wound up living on his own and trashed the place and has been forced to vacate. I don’t know where he currently is. He’s become harder to place and care for and more dangerous over the past couple of years. If he is located and needs a place to stay, he can’t come here. I don’t trust him around vulnerable people and we care for my in-laws now.
I know this has happened because of mistakes made before I was even born. My parents should have found a place for him while they could. I still feel gutted.

 

[MizBeaverhausen]

Asa is live right now.

Boo fucking hoo…it made her cry.

Their spin (LIE) is she put it up, then reality set in and she realized if she won she couldn’t take Abbie.

He said she could still win and didn’t know what she’d do with the tickets.
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Tubby just can't keep the narrative straight. Was the issue mean comments or was the issue the epiphany that Twatty Beast had that she really couldn't take Abbie to a concert or was it that Tubby let it slip that she may have got herself into caca when he said that she might still be able to be in the contest? What is it fat boy? Pick a lane and stay in it. I am assuming that the farm analogy means they won't be able "to farm" aka raising quail because of Autism? He did get one thing right though, Twatty Beast does have a big heart. A great big, enlarged heart that is not filled with love but with fat.

 

[What the ....]

Lifestyle of the Bitch and her Ignoramus
All The Things and the SHIT they sling.
Otherwise known as the Hambeasts,
It’s CillaMe Maashole

and her Narcissistic Douchebag of a husband, Atha Maashole.

Coming to you from Jacksonville, Florida.
A place known for its ten foot alligators, roaches as big as your thumb and the latest NAACP travel advisory.
It's no wonder why the Hambeasts call it home.

With the scent of freshly made sweet and creamy coffee and the smell of poo made by various species, it’s time for the Cillabeast to get up.

Morning routine includes washing of the Gunts….

Demanding hugs and breakfast made by a schmuck, now her day can begin.

After second breakfast, it’s pool side for this million dollar beauty guide.

The cabana boy bringing the Duncan poolside…..

And providing….. entertainment?.....

Getting the spam nice and crispy.

After brunch and second snack, it’s time for lunch. Nothing less than fancy TikTok food for this chunky plus sized influencer.
N. o. t. h. i. n. g. l. e. s. s. .smack. mkay.

First dinner? Second Dinner?

It doesn’t really matter as long as it has cheese.

Slinging Slime Time!

Spam fried nicely. Plenty of droopy lip. This go getter is ready for slinging sun block.

Aw, papa likes the hat.

There you have it folks.
The Lifestyle of the Bitch and her Ignoramus.
What does this million dollar, plus size, chunky beauty guide have in store next?
Who knows, but what we do know...
there will be cheese!

 

[PugliaLiving]

Get a look at Moobies boobies. They're bigger than Guntarilla's

 

[WowMeowMeowWow]

Just going back to the “wrestling” on the previous thread. It didn’t look playful to me at all and she didn’t let go when he requested her to twice as there was a jump cut before he showed her hands off him. Do they really think this behaviour is cute and endearing and worth showing because it’s really not. Just showcases Abbies aggression and shows us once again that Asthma is a weak parent that’s too afraid to stop his daughters undesirable behaviours incase she flips her shit and has a meltdown.

It did not look playful to me either. Abbie looked almost disconnected, and the way she was holding on to Atha’s shirt is the same way she holds on to Pig’s when she is getting aggressive…not playful.

 

[CoffeeMomof2]

When Prissassapotomus gets all her war paint on she reminds me of this lady
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May Recap time.

Reminder: This post only pertains to FA on youtube. I did not use social blade. I just added up FA May vlog views.

Welp, it seems Fatboy is back to his lazy ways. He produced 21 videos in 31 days. So maybe he was going for quality vs quantity?

NOPE...

The average views per vlog in May was 36k. His downward performance trend continues. It must be disheartening with birthdays, graduation and Mom's day usually showing big view numbers.

See below for a monthly and daily summary of FA vlog views.

Nov - 863k views/24vlogs=36k/vlog
Dec - 736k views/24vlogs=31k/vlog
Jan - 841k views/22vlogs=38k/vlog
Feb - 912k views/19vlogs=48k/vlog
Mar - 956k views/23vlogs=42k/vlog
Apr - 1m views/26vlogs=38k/vlog
May- 766kviews/21vlogs=36k/vlog

Keep floundering Fatboy.

Again, the purpose of this tracking is not to quantify income. It's just a trend analysis.

It looks like he inflated his views in March & April with strategic use of the Youtube Shorts feature - posting clickbaity old clips of Abbie that drew quite a few new eyes to the channel. Shorts are being pushed heavily by the YT algo and there's a market for short form content because of TikTok.

In Atha's case, though, those new eyes had absolutely no desire to stick around to view the rest of his content. Ideally Shorts will pull new viewers to a channel and it tends to work well in general. For FA they seem to have taken away quite a few viewers because of course. Just like his wife's tacky beaded light fixtures in the mountain retreat rental, Asa Maass can 't do a damn thing right.


-------------------------------------------------------

We're celebrating over in our house today!
The kids' report cards & test results are in and I am soooooo incredibly proud of them.
Older child (level 1, gifted, hybrid homeschool/virtual charter, upper elementary) blasted through their standard curriculum as expected, all As. Their testing shows they're working at college level for both ELA and math for the homeschool portion of their education. They hope to start college after next school year. I don't know what to do about that.

Younger child (level 3, public school, middle elementary) is working at their grade level with reasonable accommodations and an aide in a typical classroom. They got As and Bs on the report card and their testing shows they're right in the middle of the pack in ELA and math. They met nearly all of their IEP goals and have made incredible progress in communication since learning how to type this year. All of this with nearly 50 absences due to their medical diagnoses is amazing!

 

[CoffeeMomof2]

Asa, please help your wife edit her photos properly. I think she edits or uses an app that she can't really tell how much she has shaven off her face when standing so far back. This is a dozer of a job she has done. More than likely she uses her cell, so everything looks little. I use a huge screen iMac, so when I look at her pics on my comp compared to my cell it's insane looking. There are all sorts of parts and pieces missing from her.
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No, no.

Let her continue, Asa.

The more she posts badly filtered photos the more hilarious it looks when Asa posts her in all her unfiltered, lumbering glory in the vlogs - especially when he catches her beached on the couch or shoveling BOLLED peanuts in her maw and somehow forgets to edit those unflattering clips out of the final product.
---

I guess if I really want to up my game, I can roll up his turkey in a dick like fashion.

---

Attention seeking at its finest. I am not a fan of hers but I actually feel sorry for her. She doesn’t have friends because if she did, wouldn’t there be pictures of them celebrating her birthday at a winery, restaurant, pub, etc.? She considers the young girls who take care of Abbie her friends…that’s not normal. I have wonderful girlfriends who I meet up with for drinks, quick catch up over a few beers and a pizza, a walk around the neighborhood, or just a drop in for a coffee. She believes that the women who also scam people for money to buy makeup are her friends? I don’t believe that for one minute. I think it’s sad to think that a woman her age doesn’t have anyone to share a true friendship with. I have my husband, my kids, and grandkids who I love, cherish and adore, but I also have meaningful, strong, long term friendships that are extremely important to my well being. We celebrate birthdays, anniversaries, new jobs, new homes, grandkids, graduations, and even new shoes! You name it, they are there for it!

I don't feel the least bit sorry for her.
She brought this on herself. There's a reason she's never been able to actually maintain a real friendship. How many "friends" have we seen, with our own eyes, come through the vlogs over the years? She has a best friend for a few weeks to a few months, they disappear, and someone new is suddenly her best friend. Lauren, Kaitlyn, some lady she went to get coffee with a couple times back at the old house, I don't even know how many more have moved through the woodchipper of the life of Priscilla Maass.

She's selfish, self-centered, unpleasant, constantly looking to foist her daughter off on anyone other than her, demands attention and adoration from everyone around her (Easter basket meltdown, anyone?), she's fully entrenched in an MLM so you know she tries to hook everyone in to her downline, and she's incapable of talking about anything at any length with any nuance.
Just imagine going for drinks with the Priscilla we see on her stupid scammy lives - that's her personality and breadth of knowledge. There's no talking about a book you're reading, a new song you like, any sort of current event, the local art walk/new thrift store that just opened/etc, how your family is doing, none of that. She doesn't know and she doesn't care. If it doesn't directly affect her, it doesn't matter.

So, no, I have no sympathy. We know exactly the type of person she is and it's obvious why none of her "friends" stick around.

 

[Bogey]

Why can't you just open the pods and mix this stuff in your hands? And once they are mixed they are no longer potent and preservative free? Yet once this woman again says she can't afford it, radio silence from Thilla. What a horrible company and worse what a horrible sales woman she is. Way to go in capturing your potential customer there boss babe.

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Even the dumb humps are catching on to the idiocy of the Duo Lab. Imagine what normal people are thinking.

I didn't realize all 4 hogs were going to NC. What about Boywonders new job and life guard gig?

 

[RocketQueen]

He made a video once when everyone kept asking about Crazy Nanny...he kept saying that Abs would still be seeing her occasionally...right. so Nanny came back for a video but you could clearly tell she wasn't happy to be there, and wasn't agreeing sliently with all the crap he was spewing.. I think they were still in the rental, does anyone remember that? In my head I'm thinking she left because of him, she's a church going lady and she must have witnessed something he did that she knew wasn't right and she wasn't putting up with it. Just my own opinion.

I remember. It was the manor either right before or during COVID.

When CN left Asa was going on and on how CN loved Abbie sooo much and would be picking her up to go out to their favorite burger joint regularly on CN's free time, because she'd just miss Abbie terribly. LOL
Never happened, not once. CN was good with Abbie, but she didn't love her, wasn't a "bestie" or surrogate family. Abbie was her client, period. But Asa just has to make the world think that his Princess is so special. Everyone loves her, wants to be with her, blah blah.

So like 3 yrs ago Nanny was picking up clothing they were donating to her church. It was brief and awkward. No attempt to hug or gush over the Princess, who frankly didn't seem to care CN was there either. Asa kept trying to pump it up and get both of them excited but it fell flat, and she was on camera like three minutes.

 

[ABAPQueen1995]

It did not look playful to me either. Abbie looked almost disconnected, and the way she was holding on to Atha’s shirt is the same way she holds on to Pig’s when she is getting aggressive…not playful.

She needs a good squishmallow to grab and that will help her let her anger and stress out in a much healthier way.

In my opinion, this also stems from a lack of communication and a lack of input from both parents in teaching her the signs for the different feelings.

It's time they started working on this with her instead of things like emptying the dishwasher, pouring, stacking the shelves and hoovering. Abbie needs to learn how to communicate properly in order to function well in society.

Maybe they could start their "school" mornings with a sign language video to teach Abbie some new words and then they can practice using them with her for the rest of the week so they stay fresh in her brain. Videos with songs would definitely be useful seeing as she loves music and it will make it more engaging for her. She could then associate the signs with those tunes rather than puppeteering from her human dog trainers parents.

Come on Bumhole and Piggy, it's not hard and it's not rocket science!

 

[What the ....]

Did you all know CillaMe put out a slime video every flipping day during the month of May?
Oh yes she did!
Here are the first eleven days of that million dollar beauty guide

 

[Cardinal Rule]

Post-Massage Piggy: “I don’t even feel like I look 42!”

 

[Appalled watcher from Eng]

Whale, looks like the mega celebration party was the usual non-event. 2 obese grandparents, the babysitter and her bird, no Shack Boy friends, The other babysitter and her creepy husband, the repulsive pedalo and a random toddler! Cant wait to see how Fat Boy spins this as a big party.

 

[Srsmom]

Queen? You meant Cash Cow Sow

 

[sparkle&glitter1]

Abbie is obviously overstimulated.

Whats with the Maasses not having anyone their own age over? If they don’t have friends, then they don’t have friends. Did they not make any friends from the neighborhood party they hosted?

Isaiah’s stuff? He doesn’t have anyone to put it, so are they going to get a storage unit just for Isaiah’s stuff?

Why are they always trying to hype Isaiah up. “He’s not a camp buddy, he’s a leader”. Who cares! Stop trying to make it seem like he’s so cool, talented and skilled. He’s no better than the other ppl spending their time at camp .

 

[Cardinal Rule]

Thank you, @Srsmom for the great screenshot illustrating 65 pounds down! It’s an eye-opener!

Every video or Live Golden Boy jumps into, he goes into full out performance mode. So sad. It will make for a long, hot summer trying to feel he always has to entertain his parents’ audiences. What a life!

 

[WowMeowMeowWow]

I stopped watching but I do read here still...and occasionally have to go look because you all are amazing with the commentary!

One thing I don't understand about these people is...what happened???? Not that Asa and Priscilla were ever good parents ...but at least on cam they seemed United and worked together with Abbie....Priscilla seemed more like a mother...

About a year after the move to moody she seemed to wake up one day and decided I want a fun single lifestyle with bffs, and booze, and lots of travel without any responsibility!!!

She blew out her stomach surgery , had her phone permanently fused to her hoof, if she's not online partying drinking and acting like she's 17, she's laying on a couch under a blanket playing on her phone like a teenager.....when did she just decide I don't want to be a wife, a mom, a caregiver, a parent, or part of this family anymore?

Did something happen between her and Asa? They live more like they have an " arrangement" then a family..marriage...

Just wondering if something specific happened?

My opinion, The surgery and new house happened within months of each other. She had her Southern Belle sty. She lost a decent amount of weight. It went to her head faster than liquor to her lips. It wasn’t long after that, Pig was being highlighted much more in vlogs, and then the whole MLM Priscilla Maass “brand” came along. She gained the weight back. She did not lose that inner bitch that emerged. I believe that at the time she was getting all “healthy”, Ass saw a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel…one that he could potentially capitalize on. Unfortunately for them both, it turns out Pig and her new attitude were not well received. Views took a nose dive. Here we are now…them floundering trying to get back to all thingth “Autism”. Same Ol’ scammy Ass and same Ol’ obese Ciller…still miserable..just older.

 

[PugliaLiving]

Yippity Yay!
Thanks to @SCCOct66 we all can take turns riding Prissy the Centaur and afterwards we can sit down to a delectable quail egg snack. Atha is cooking!
This is such a fabulous title. Thank you so much!
You guys please give your thanks to our @SCCOct66

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OMG Meow, the donut clips. Thanks @SCCOct66 for a perfect title to start the week!