@Noir Fan
I love this tradition, awesomeness to you!!
My parents bought my first car for me when I began college in 1983. A baby blue Cutlass Supreme, 2 door. I hated it but they paid for everything, even gas back then. All I had to do was keep my grades up in college and make good choices, which I did. The car then became my brother's car when he started at Purdue 4 years later.
I bought my first car when my brother started college, as he got the Cutlass, and it was only 4 years old so he was pretty happy having wheels.
No laughing, the first car that I bought on my own was a black Ford EXP coupe. It was a two-seater with a manual transmission and I LOVED it. Looking at pics now of it, I want to puke but back then I thought it was the bomb with the two seats, sunroof, and louvers!
When my son began his senior year of high school in 2019 his dad and I paid for his car, prior to that he was driving mine or his dad's second vehicle. We wanted him to have something dependable and the plan was/is that it would last him thru the end of high school and all thru his college years, and so far it has. He has taken good care of it and is only responsible for the gas he puts in it, his dad and I take care of the insurance and anything else car-related. Once he graduates from college (2023) and hopefully finds a teaching job, then he will take over the insurance.
I guess it's a tradition in my family as well, as is doing things for adult children, regardless of their financial situation. It's just what my parents (and his dads) and grandparents before them did, and my son's father and I have continued that. This gift came with responsibilities on his part. As long as he kept his GPA in high school and now in college up and kept a part-time job for his personal spending, then his dad and I would take care of any financial needs he had. Since giving him the car in the fall of 2019, he has only had it taken away one time during his senior year of high school and that reality hit woke him up quickly.
I wanted to touch base on Isaiah's college credits, experience, etc, and how I compare them to my son's life.
Run away now if you don't want to read about anything Isaiah related!
My son began AP classes in 6th grade which was the first year offered to students in our school district, and he continued thru 12th grade.
As Isaiah did, my son earned college credits while in high school. He received $4,450 from 7 different scholarships at his high school senior scholarship awards night
as well as a four-year paid academic scholarship to Purdue.
He could graduate from college early if he wanted to but he is in no hurry. He is loving his college experience. He was able to add extra classes that are not required for the degree he is going for, but are of interest to him. Since they are paid for by the scholarship it is a win/win for him. I'm not sure why Isaiah is not taking advantage of this time and furthering his education, especially if he is going on for his Master's Degree.
My son's scholarship money is deposited directly into his checking in the fall and spring of each semester by the school after they take out tuition. It is his responsibility to purchase his books and pay for anything college-related out of that money. Any surplus each semester (around $4,000) goes into a CD for his future after we allow him a certain amount each month for his personal use. Since the start of college in 2019, he has been able to put close to $25,000 in CDs/savings and all of that will be there for him after he graduates from college. It's been a nice way to teach him the value of money, paying bills, and the financial responsibilities he will have as an adult for the rest of his life.
He is 100% responsible for spending his money wisely on what he needs. We do not do that for him, however, we do both 'micro manage' from afar, as is monitoring his checking/savings. We are both listed on his checking/savings and will continue to be until he graduates from college.
Once a month I pop into his checking/savings to see if he is spending his money wisely and in addition to the scholarship monthly money he earns his own money working part-time. It's his money to do with what he wants...and some months I just shake my head at the absurd spending, but it's all part of him learning to balance his money/bills for college and personal needs while growing into an adult.
It's one thing to teach your children the value of money but another to hand a young person control over that much money each semester as he learns the value of earning and saving money. We view it as a time for him to learn how not to fuck up his money, as so many of us do...myself included, back in the day.
We allow him free reign of spending his money, but we closely monitor what he does. We wanted to be able to monitor how he used that money because let's face it, you give an 18 thru 22-year old that much money each semester, and temptation is bound to get the best of anyone, so we have been observing from our computers and making sure he is making good financial choices. If he were to lose his academic scholarship (there are many ways that can happen) due to poor choices, then we made it clear, that all things financial stop, and his world as he knows it would change significantly. It's all part of helping them grow into responsible adults. I don't see ASSa and Big P doing any of that for Isaiah, sadly. They have really failed him in so many areas of his life.
Without proper guidance and examples, that kid has been doomed from the start.
I've seen some talk lately that Isaiah is an adult and should act as such by being responsible for himself, vs ASSa or Big P stepping in and I agree that they should not be doing "all the things" for Isaiah,
he should have a part-time job and should be learning how to manage things on his own, with them checking on him from time to time. I love going out and buying my kid food or stuff he needs/wants, not because he cannot do it for himself, but because that is the kind of family I was raised in, we went the extra mile for each other in terms of doing things 'just because' and that is still how my brothers and I are with each other, all as grown adults with families of our own. I love that so much. I'm that way with my friends as well, if I like you, I want to do nice things for that person, it's how I've always been.
As for ASSa and Big P putting money on Isaiah's grocery store card, I get it. If my son did not have a part-time job and did not have the scholarship that basically pays for all things college-related, then it would all be coming out of our pockets for him. Even if Isaiah had a part-time job, I would not be opposed to ASSa and Big P helping him out, why not.
I tend to defend Isaiah because having a kid the same age, I see how mature my son is, but I also see that he is still evolving and learning to become a better person. He sometimes makes bonehead decisions, thankfully nothing awful, but It's a process that we all go thru. We bring them up with morals and values and it's up to them to take what they have been taught and grow into adults, good humans who are productive members of society, among other things. I see how much my son has grown in the past 3 years of college and with more life experience he will continue to do so. Hell, at age 56, I am STILL growing, learning, and evolving into a better person, every single day. So there is hope for Isaiah.
I'm sure some will compare this to ASSa and Big P in the sense that we still control much of what goes on in his life financially, but that's OK. My kid does his own shopping, pays his bills, and actually wakes up to his own alarm clock, so there is that!
Yes, my kid is a 21-year-old adult but our agreement with him is that as long as he is in college he remains our responsibility until he graduates...and that includes posing for 'first day of' photos if I so deem it necessary!
Seriously, the last time I made him do that was before he left for his first day at college...he reluctantly posed. The next time will be his graduation next year!
Anyway, sorry to ramble. I love reading all our posts, and that we all share the good and the bad with each other here!! xoxo
Now, back to the mASSive family!!!
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