Okay I'll be honest, but I did actually get the Outnumbered audiobook. I have a free 30 day audible trial and they will give you another credit/ book when you try to cancel your trial. (So I got two audiobooks for free and am still going to cancel anyway xD ).
39 mins in these are the best quotes for far:
"Your baby is not going to grab on to your manhood, even if you're gifted/ cursed 16 inch trouser pipe you're not going to hurt the baby by jabbing it in the eye during sex."
"My experience was for the first couple of months we didn't have sex.... after about 16 weeks Clemmie took a swim in a hormone bath. because suddenly she was all over me like a rash that no ointment could cure. I couldn't beat her off with a stick so we had sex. "
Maybe I'm just a prude, but I've always thought your sex life should be between you and your partner. I can honestly imagine his mum having a signed copy on her bookshelf.