Escape into the Tea & Sympathy Support room.

[Doodlebug005]

Thinking about that last quote reminds me of a lesson that I learnt a few years ago. I had a friend that had BPD and she would often have very low times and want to chat about it. I always try to problem solve and when she would tell me her troubles (and when other people did) I would always try to find several solutions to the problem for them in a very practical way. I honestly thought that was helpful until she pointed out to me, that sometimes people just want to offload and have someone just sympathise with them not try and find solutions!
I really took that on board and now try to weigh up the situation a bit more when people come to me with their worries.

I personally generally appreciate it when people offer solutions but there are also times when you just need someone to listen - hence the title of this thread... Tea and sympathy!

ETA - said friend ran for the hills at the first sign that I needed a shoulder to cry on! Bitch...lol!

That is awful spangly , a few years ago one of my friends was in a bad way, I loaned her money, gave her all my baby clothes ( some i told her i wanted back as they were from special family members) anyway never got baby clothes or money back but we still were pals , since childhood. Then she went and did a course, opened a very successful business and ghosted me

Another thing that happened, we had a big upheaval with our son a few years back, paranoia from drugs etc , lobbed awful crap at us, broke in and stole from us etc etc long long story, I naturally was leaning on my sister for advice and support , telling her what was going on, she was sick of seeing me cry, I was sick of crying ... One of her kids rang me one day and told me to keep my business to myself, i should not be telling anyone my problems, I was bullying and blaming my sister and oh ya - it was aging HER.... So much for - its good to talk.... So having a forum like this is a godsend, no one here will shut anyone up if they need a listening ear.

By the way , am loving the quotes .. brace yourselves

 

[AlanBanan]

I am just so bad with my anxiety lately. I thought I was getting better. I haven’t drank since May, exercised more, have attempted to eat better and eat more as I stopped eating for a while. But this week it’s just back with a fiery vengeance, I am always on the verge of tears with that deep pit of worry in my stomach. My medication isn’t even touching it, I do be like an old lost dog pacing up and down most nights this week not having a clue what to do because the worries in my head won’t fuck off, and when I do fall asleep, I wake up again an hour later gasping for air and terrified.

I can’t even explain why I’m upset, I just have a constant feeling of impending doom. I am going to work most mornings and having to hold in tears for nearly 10 hours, without an ounce of sleep.

I don’t even know what to do at this point. I am a miserable cunt at this point, I make good money, I have a nice life and decent family and friends. But I’m just forever anxious and sad. It’s like a heaviness over me I can’t even describe it.

I’m droning on so anyways xx thanks for having this place

 

[Chita]

Lots of painful anniversaries upon me, two year ones, is doesn't get any easier

Time does not heal. You just learn to live with it.
And yes, often the first year is less difficult than the first because people still remember and comfort you. After that they forget and leave us to cope alone.
We never forget and we cope as best we can.

Sending you a big hug.

 

[Mock Turtle]

This is exactly how I used to describe it, but I wasn't familiar with narcissism until Meghan showed up. You never think this will happen in your own family. I definitely think I'm going to speak to someone, I have a load of nasty messages I need a therapist to read, then I can discuss it all.

Good for you for deciding to talk to someone, it sounds like an incredibly difficult situation and you need to. I would say that it’s all very well being someone’s life saver but not at the risk of being taken under and drowning yourself. That is absolutely not good nor should you ever feel you need to give and give to the point where it’s harming you. I truly hope you can find a way forward but look after yourself first and foremost.

 

[Nuttynana]

Great idea for a thread!

My insomnia has flared up again. Mainly stress, partly too humid/airless weather...it's only been a few days and I'm already going insane. Not sleeping is one of the worst things ever.

Since I have got older I too suffer sometimes and it is delibating and the nights are so long, I go downstairs and read until I feel tired, doesn't always work but it's better than just laying there.

 

[Chita]

I didn’t know this was here but I could really do with some tea and sympathy.

Im a widow of nearly 7 months and my heart just aches constantly. I’m poor so I have to work. I have to be semi normal at times for the people who love me. But I’m not normal anymore. I’m a hollow shell with all my broken pieces rattling around inside. I can’t do life, it’s too hard. The world is just so so shit.

It's ok, you don't have to put on that facade. You are allowed to let it all out. You have permission to let go.
I would hold you tight while you cry if I could and I know the others in here would, too.

xxx

 

[Pom Bear]

I be catching up later
A big hug from Pom xx

 

[Cassandra333]

Just pasting this, then going back to lurking.


This Be The Verse

By Philip Larkin

They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.

But they were fucked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another’s throats.

Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don’t have any kids yourself.

 

[Chita]

I hate it when im going somewhere but someone else is driving and they are late.
I get really churned up inside.
When Im going somewhere I always set off early to give me plenty of time in case of delays on the roads.
I would rather sit in the car at the destination and hang around if i'm early than sit at home getting stressed because my friend hasnt arrived yet.



Aaaaaaarrrggggghhhhhh

 

[Chita]

Honestly, antidepressants can be a life saver and it's nothing to be ashamed of if you need to try them. If one doesn't suit you, you just try another. The side effects soon pass, and you can minimise them by taking the medication at nighttime until they get into your system, then switch over to morning.



How do you find GB News? Is it on a TV channel? I don't watch TV so I'm a bit behind.

aaah its new.
On freeview channel 236. I had to retune my channels. Its very erratic with its sound but they promise to sort the gremlins out soon, but bear with it, because it does cover stuff the mainstream media ignores.

Home: Latest & breaking News | GB News

Home of the latest and breaking news, opinion and analysis | GB News

www.gbnews.uk

There is an App
and they also post highlights on Twitter.


My email to Dan has been read by someone there.

 

[Tattyfilarious]

Me too! x

I'm listening all the time - life isn't always easy, guess we have to make the best of what we have, and then some

I'm listening all the time - life isn't always easy, guess we have to make the best of what we have, and then some

Our beautiful Finn - he was just a dog, but I loved him x

Hey, this is a nice place to be x

Roll with the punches sweethearts - you'll end-up with someone who deserves you x

@Summer house
Life's an absolute bitch sometimes.
Take care honey x

 

[Summer house]

I like the honesty of people on this thread so here's a little about me. I will try and keep it as brief as possible.
I was born into a household where there was a lot of anger and violence. I was never shown any love from parents. There was always a lot of secrets and lies.
I have been bullied my whole life, at school and as an adult. I just cannot find the strength to stick up for myself.
I have no self confidence so haven't achieved much in life as I am scared to attempt anything as I don't think I will be any good.
I have no self esteem and dont think I'm very pretty, even though people have told me I am.
I'm constantly feeling scared and only remember feeling really happy twice in my lifetime.
I'm a good person who lives a quiet life. I would do anything to help people and I am very generous. Unfortunately like most of us, I have met a few bastards who have abused that generosity.
I hate my job so I can relate to you @Rockin' Robin. There is a lot of bitchiness in my place of work.
I cry a lot and I'm a mess but hey, that's me.

 

[Gold_7]

Whoever said 'time heals' was talking crap.
It doesn't heal.
It makes the void deeper and hurts more.

You aren't going mad, either.
Keep going though, no matter how hard it is.
xxx

I’ve run myself a bath. That’s a start I suppose. I haven’t showered in three days.

I don’t even know who I am at the moment.

 

[spangly]

Wow - your cats are beauties @MaineCoonMama - are they bigger than average cats, the first one looks huge?

Great idea to start a thread, I've been lurking on H&M and several people I think of often on there.

I'm having a real Monday grump today. Was low over the weekend and called a couple of people to chat but left me feeling more lonely really as each person just talked about themselves and hardly even asked about me. There's a lot of talk in the UK about encouraging people to talk about how they feel/mental health but noone is educating people on how to listen. i.e. don't just say "oh I know, I'm the same. Anyway, listen to this story about me. . "

Yes, that happens a lot doesn't it! The people that really matter will hear you though xx

 

[freda19]

It amazes me that so many people assume that because they have besties at their beck and call, that everyone else has them too.
Life isn't like that for many people.
We all need somewhere to just say, "I'm fucked off with life and work SO THERE!". It's good to have a moan, and even better when you can be anonymous doing it.

 

[Nuttynana]

Glad I started it then.

I am hoping that it will also allow us to discuss stuff happening in the world that isnt just about mental health
.
Individual threads are fab, but we often want to go off topic as conversations will inevitably drift off - so in here we can do that as well.


Ps
I have managed to move my arse and get up. I will wear make up to the supermarket which I'm sure will be good for the staff because they won't be frightened by my face!
They have endured enough.

Yes it scared the shit out of me the other day I thought it was Halloween

@chitta thank you for this lovely new thread
I am the same - never went out without my full slap, matching accessories etc. And have also put on belly weight and never exercise now - whereas before lookdown I was like Tigger on caffeine. Now we are getting ready to go ‘back to normal’ I am very anxious - the one thing I did do was wean myself off anti depressants so am now clear of them BUT over the past few weeks I have started to become really tearful - anything makes me want to ball my eyes out - I enjoy working from home and want it to stay that way but who knows what will happen -
hope we can start to post some funny animal stuff too -
I watch the doggy day care guy in OZ and it always makes me smile adding a short clip of Tucker Budzyn (he is fine and she loves him sooooo much he has some fun adventures) but the laughing makes me smile

I was told that after lockdown you are either a hunk, a chunk or a drunk, I am a chunk or a squat arse old tart.

 

[Jusa]

This is such a lovely supportive thread - thank you for setting it up @Chita

 

[Chita]

Get some Tesco Sleep Aids. They're herbal and really help



Make sure you make time and space to care for yourself even just little things can help.

I don't have problems sleeping, kittenattack.
But Im sure those who suffer from insomnia will welcome that suggestion.

I have read that valerian root helps aid sleep.
I bet our hedge witch friends will know some other remedies too.

My heart goes out to those of you who can't sleep.
I get really ratty if I am sleep deprived. I sympathise with you all.

 

[Sogdhitalley]

I'm just fed up of how my life has ended up. I imagined so much more for myself but I've got the opposite and there isn't much I can do about it.
I'm insanely jealous of those my age who are living the life I wanted for myself but will never have because I have been robbed of all sorts in my life.
I'm just existing rather than living life and enjoying it.

Edited to add that seeing these influences who do fuck all but get paid the big bucks is really bringing me down. I'd love to be able to do that just for a short time until I had enough to buy a house out right and have enough to live comfortably for the rest of my life. I hate the way of the world sometimes, it's honestly so unfair.

 

[Rockin' Robin]

This may appear to be a bit of a random post, but the mention of teddy bears reminded me of one of my most treasured possesions. He is a teddy that belonged to my late Mother as a child. He is in a bit of a sorry state, he is over 70 years old. He is almost completely bald because Mum tried to cut all his fur off once! I call him Fred - as in Fred bear (threadbare). I will never part with him, because he evokes many happy memories.