Escape into the Tea & Sympathy Support room.

[Mrsoh]

Thank you Chita for creating this soothing thread. Thought I'd slide in and join you lovely folk. Having shielded through all the lockdowns, and deciding to retire early from a job I loved, I find myself a bit paranoid and reluctant to get out and about. I have a chronic condition which deteriorated over lockdown and am now only able to get out and about with a mobile scooter and only when necessary and I've built up the courage to venture out. One thing that's been a godsend is my kindle and I've recently joined a lovely choir ( I can't really sing but they didn't seem to mind ) . Tattle has been a lifesaver too, some of you articulate Tattlers have really cheered me up. Thank you for listening to my Ted talk .

I feel like you should bling your scooter up

 

[Chita]

Great idea to start a thread, I've been lurking on H&M and several people I think of often on there.

I'm having a real Monday grump today. Was low over the weekend and called a couple of people to chat but left me feeling more lonely really as each person just talked about themselves and hardly even asked about me. There's a lot of talk in the UK about encouraging people to talk about how they feel/mental health but no one is educating people on how to listen. i.e. don't just say "oh I know, I'm the same. Anyway, listen to this story about me. . "

Hope today has gone better for you.

Well I have been on anti-depressants for 45 years. By the sound of it, I am not alone. Some of you will have had “Oh go buy yourself a new dress, that will make you feel better “ when the last thing you want to do is get out of bed never mind dress up and go out somewhere. But cannot imagine there will be that sort of advice on here. perhaps it is because of our problems that we care about what antics the gruesome twosome get up to and feel sympathy for the RF. No matter their privilege, money, palaces, to be kicked in the teeth by an offspring who has received so much support and protection must hurt. Hope those of you who are suffering will find solace on this thread. I am fine just now, meds still working.

New dresses are all well and good but with all this lockdown comfort eating hardly anything will bloody fasten.
Ive gone up a size.

I am psyching myself up to doing something about it.
I will probably take as much time to sort it as the Royal Family are doing to sort out the traitorous Harry.

But I have to finish eating this toasted fruit teacake with butter first.

 

[freda19]

Hi guys , I’m new to this thread so not sure if this is the right place for me to vent but I need some advice
So I’m 25 and my older sister is 29 soon to be 30 in a few months and recently she keeps telling me how old I am , like in every conversation we have she’ll be like “ well your age group are really old “ we were even watching love island the other day and she was like “ it just shows everyone’s age “ and i asked her what does she mean and she said “ because people who are 25 and 26 are soooo old . And I’m just so confused. I don’t know if she’s reflecting her issues on me because she is upset about turning 30 ( even though that’s actually really young and I told her that ) she also always says that she looks younger than me and that people always think she’s 23 ( they don’t at all btw ) today she randomly in our conversation started to tell me that she thinks to the public I look about 26 / 27 when I didn’t actually ask. Oh but funny to the public for herself she said she thinks she looks 20-23 . It sounds childish but that’s not even half of what I have to deal with. sometimes I wonder if she’s jealous of me but I don’t want to be that person that’s like “ oh this persons jealous of me “ but sometimes it really feels that way. I need to know if I’m just overthinking things

No, in my opinion you are not overthinking it.
It definitely sounds like she is panicking over hitting the 'big' 30.
Next time she brings up the age thing, in whatever way, just laugh and say, "Honestly X, you need to get over the age thing. Soon you'll be be 30 and then after that I'll be 26 and that's just life sweetie (or whatever endearment you would normally use for her)." If you laugh it off by facing the thing head on she should back off. She wants reassurance that you can't give, which is sad, but taunting you is unfair.

First time popping in here. Seems like my “in real life” friends (which are all around the country, so they don’t feel so “in real life” these days...) all have heavier burdens to bear, so I can’t bother them.

I’m just so worn down from daily life lately! Working full time, 40 minute commute, work is a bit stressful lately,haven’t been feeling great. I get home, walk the dog and manage to have toast or a meal replacement drink. Feel sick when I try to eat real food. Laundry’s piled on the bed and I just push it over, dishes piling up. Already on anti depressants, that’s keeping the worst of it away I think (that and my long walks with my dog). I’m only 30 but I can’t imagine finding the energy to do anything besides the bare minimum I’m doing now!

Advice for getting out of a rut?

Set yourself a tiny goal each day. Or every other day. Or even once a week.
Today I will clear those dishes.
or Today I will do just one load of laundry.
or Today I will eat a light meal and I won't let it upset my tummy.
Been there and honestly, watching the things around you go to pot only makes your mind set worse. I found that seeing small tasks completed helped me feel "Well I'm not as useless as I thought. " .... and they build up until eventually you've caught up and got a sort of routine. It might take ages but it's a goal.
It's this fucking covid crap. Everything is messed up, especially our heads. You truly aren't alone, honestly. Good for you recognising the rut, that alone is a positive.
I'm so glad you have a dog. Cuddles and petting and walks are all good therapy. And music. Seriously, make a play list of your favourite bouncy songs, put your head phones on and just get lost in the moment. I really found music great for getting through my head fog and giving me just a tiny teeny spark of "Yes!" and a smile.
Try not to think of your friends' burdens. Focus on you. Just you.

 

[Cassandra333]

Hi Everyone, just woke up so very late to this thread. Thanks @Chita for a great idea and new thread. Be back later when I've had chance to catch up xxx

 

[50sGirl]

It's true Nana.
Parents mess up their kids.
It's abuse.
And it goes untreated into adulthood.

Thankfully the majority of parents don’t mess up their kids.
I know I was extremely lucky with my Dad and I’m so sorry that others don’t experience that. His mother was a narcissist so he was proof that the cycle can be broken.
When he died earlier this year, one of his carers said the loveliest thing to me. She said “50sGirl, I had the most wonderful father, but I wish I’d had your dad as my dad.” That was the biggest compliment she could have given him. Blubbing now so I shall stop.

 

[MaineCoonMama]

My cat Susan and her doppelgänger, an emperor tamarin. (Name unknown).
Animals are like a little vitamin pill to me, just looking at them brings a bit of cheer when I'm having a hard time. I hope they bring a smile to you guys too

 

[Nuttynana]

Hope today has gone better for you.








New dresses are all well and good but with all this lockdown comfort eating hardly anything will bloody fasten.
Ive gone up a size.

I am psyching myself up to doing something about it.
I will probably take as much time to sort it as the Royal Family are doing to sort out the traitorous Harry.

But I have to finish eating this toasted fruit teacake with butter first.

Let's all go to Montishito and stay with the arseholes?? 2 days with them and we will realise how untainted we are, now those two are really mad, bad and totally fucked.

 

[Doodlebug005]

I’m mid 20’s! I do think whatever it is, hormones are mixed in with it. But it’s not something that comes and goes with TOTM The doctor I spoke to wasn’t great, the vibe I got was that unless I’m suicidal they don’t really care

Oh sweetie take no notice of that arse. I am in Ireland so not familiar with the UK services, assuming you are Uk... Is there a well woman clinic near you? Someone here might be able to advise you better. What about the nhs chatline?

Home Page - ChatHealth

chathealth.nhs.uk

Keep us in the loop

 

[Melian]

I hope your results were good and that you're feeling okay

Thanks. After all that, they cancelled it without telling me. Slightly worried now - reason given was because the appointment time wouldn't be long enough.

 

[Pom Bear]

I catch up later today

Hot weather gone at last, alot cooler now

I brought everyone an ice cube today...if I did last week it would have melted by the time everyone got one
I couldn't anyway as this thread weren't around then lol
Love from Pom

 

[Chita]

Ah now I want cake! Get yourself a fitbit type thing, make yourself reach whatever goal you set yourself! We are here to urge you on. The teacake sounds delish enjoy and move on!

I will only get a fitbit if they make an edible one.

I don't know how to help those who can't sleep.

Now we have this 'off topic' discussion thread, maybe those who are wide awake can keep each other company in here and then those of us who sleep like a log [and snore like a warthog] will have some posts to read when we surface in the morning.

 

[Chita]

I took mild antidepressants for anxiety and had therapy with a lovely lady, she was really great, we clicked and she was so helpful and I got better and stayed better (despite going through hell)

Definitely try to give the numbers a call, either put it on a to-do list, or even have someone dial the physical numbers for you, that's what it takes sometimes!!

The person on the other end will be really lovely and helpful. Don't be frightened of taking pills, they make you feel a bit numb but can really help if you and your doctor feel you need them. Hopefully you can manage with some therapy and techniques, it sounds like you're generally coping well at the moment. And talk to people about it!! Even if it's only here

And for anyone in the UK who would like to get some help but has no clue where to start,

visit here - https://hubofhope.co.uk/ and enter your postcode to discover a list of places where you can get help.

I don't know if other Countries have this. Maybe our international Tattlers can share info regarding that.

 

[Kittypops]

Sorry to just jump in
I'm at an all time low
Life is shit, work is shit, I have nothing

Not looking for any validation, it's just that I have no one else to talk to

Edit: no reply necessary, I just needed to say it out loud

 

[turkeydinosaurs]

My mother favors my sister to the extent that even when my sister is in the wrong and I'm attempting to defend myself she turns it into my fault by saying I was screaming when I know I wasn't. It's like she's looking for something that she can point to it being my fault. It makes me so low because it feels like I'm always going to be in the wrong and there's never going to be anyway for me to defend myself against her. I feel trapped and on the edge of tears constantly.

Families are hard. If only we could pick them like we do our friends.
I often feel there is always a favoured child.

 

[Doodlebug005]

Reading what people have endured is shocking.

It is so sad that we let people hurt us with their shitty words and behaviours... People who decide they don't like you or like someone else better are petty.... Do their opinions actually matter? NO! It happens at home, at work, friendship groups, online.... There will always be someone who wrongly believes they are better than you ....

Speaking down to someone, showing obvious preference , ignoring someone , all form of bullying.... Screw them... Who are they to make little of you....

Take their actions with a pinch of salt, the bitter salt they are obviously made of.... Focus on the people , pets etc that make you feel good.... Distance yourselves from bad energy

 

[Facehugger]

I catch up later today

Hot weather gone at last, alot cooler now

I brought everyone an ice cube today...if I did last week it would have melted by the time everyone got one
I couldn't anyway as this thread weren't around then lol
Love from Pom

View attachment 685707

Hey my lovely friend just wanted to respond to this post because you are always so kind, you sympathised with me when we were all baking hot & feeling crap, you always make people smile all the time even though you suffer sometimes yourself, you're always there with a hug and a picture to brighten everyone's day. So this is just for you, I found it the other day, always got you covered, lady

And hugs to everyone else here, I think this thread is a fab idea, we all need someone somewhere at times

 

[MaineCoonMama]

I'm lurking on this thread for the time been xx.
I'm really glad it's helping so many people on here. I'm more for doing my little Photoshop pics then talking so I be lurking in and out of the thread daily to see how it goes and how everyone is. xx

I love your posts on the H&M thread! I'm usually on Jack Monroe's thread so I just lurk on others but your pics always stand out. Thanks you!

 

[Chita]

Great idea to start a thread, I've been lurking on H&M and several people I think of often on there.

I'm having a real Monday grump today. Was low over the weekend and called a couple of people to chat but left me feeling more lonely really as each person just talked about themselves and hardly even asked about me. There's a lot of talk in the UK about encouraging people to talk about how they feel/mental health but noone is educating people on how to listen. i.e. don't just say "oh I know, I'm the same. Anyway, listen to this story about me. . "

Yeh thats a tough one.
Hopefully this thread can help in situations like this.

May not cure the ills but if it helps us to not dwell on them, then it can only be a good thing.

 

[KeriRhys]

Hi Everyone, I'm just going to lurk for a bit. I'm triggered so I have to withdraw and concentrate on getting out of it. I've got a whole day of 'My Kitchen Rules' lined up, I'm going to sit on the sofa and not do a thing. If that doesn't work, I'll move on to stage Two.
I've got lots of tips for getting out of the horrible moods but I'll type them out in a couple of days. It's taken me half an hour to type this...ridiculous. Back soon

Take care of yourself!!

 

[Just_me1954]

Im sick of Harry's blackmail.

so,

what else can we talk about?
GB News was just saying how many people have put on weight during lockdown.
Im guilty of that.
I just had a look to see if WeightWatchers is operating. I dont want to do it online. Ive got as much willpower as a dead wasp, so thats no good for me.

There's one 'in-person' meeting in my nearest town, so I now have to psyche myself up to attend it.
Can't find any prices though, but I figure that if I stop buying naughty snacks I will be able to afford the meeting fee.

Chita, if you stop buying the naughty snacks, you may not need to save for the meeting fees, win, win. I do low carb and it seems to keep the weight somewhst under control. One little vice is a cherry ripe, but i cut it into 6 pieces snd have a piece after dinner as my treat most nights.