Escape into the Tea & Sympathy Support room.

[thegirlscout]

This might not work for everyone but I thought I’d share. When I’m having a bad moment I turn to Pinterest. I’ve created boards about things that I’m interested in like fashion, etc. So if I need distraction from life I’d go to one of my boards and try to find really good photos for it online. For example fashions that Princess Diana wore. So I’ll Google for high quality images of the clothes I love that Diana wore, then I’ll search for when she wore it and try and find the designer, etc. It takes quite a bit of time and focus so the other stuff disappears for awhile.
Again, not saying it’ll work for everyone but it is a helpful distraction if you use the app.

 

[50sGirl]

I love this…

 

[peachhes]

Not sure what age group you are, could it be hormonal? I started night sweats about a year ago , emotionally fine, but things were stressful at the time so took not a lot of notice, anyway, trip to gp, yup needed a mild hrt...which was great, but they stopped making it. On another one now, doing ok. Might be worth making an appointment.

I’m mid 20’s! I do think whatever it is, hormones are mixed in with it. But it’s not something that comes and goes with TOTM The doctor I spoke to wasn’t great, the vibe I got was that unless I’m suicidal they don’t really care

 

[Gold_7]

I didn’t know this was here but I could really do with some tea and sympathy.

Im a widow of nearly 7 months and my heart just aches constantly. I’m poor so I have to work. I have to be semi normal at times for the people who love me. But I’m not normal anymore. I’m a hollow shell with all my broken pieces rattling around inside. I can’t do life, it’s too hard. The world is just so so shit.

 

[Chita]

Also remember that the little things we take for granted might be things some people wish they could have.

I was at a funeral yesterday.
The tea afterwards was held in a marquee at the back of the house.
Many parked on the street near the house and walked to the back garden, some managed to park on the long drive.
Amongst the usual cars I saw a massive Tesla, a new Jaguar and a bloody Aston Martin!! Wow!
All enormously expensive and clearly a person who can afford such a car must have loads more money and a better lifestyle than me - but is that true?

Maybe they pay more for their loaf of bread, butter, cheese and wine than I can afford, but how much better is it really?
I can get nice tasting food without spending a fortune.
And their humungously expesive to buy and insure car can still get scratched and dented just like my bog standard car.

 

[spangly]

Morning everyone Let's hope Tuesday is a good day!

 

[Tattyfilarious]

I think many of us here are in our fifties and love our parents very much - I'm dreading my Mum dying (she's 77 now); I'm an only child and Mum lost her husband and my daddy when she was just 29-years old.
She's my rock and soul, and the most wonderful mother

If it's any comfort to anyone, my husband is a psychiatric nurse - his role for several years now has been caring for elderly patients with Alzheimer's/dementia; he loves and cares about every single one of them

 

[Chita]

[

Do it
Do it
Do it

 

[Mrsoh]

This is exactly how I used to describe it, but I wasn't familiar with narcissism until Meghan showed up. You never think this will happen in your own family. I definitely think I'm going to speak to someone, I have a load of nasty messages I need a therapist to read, then I can discuss it all.

My brothers ex is a bitch, all the nasty messages she sends to my brother and my mum and Dad is pure projection, she judges people by her own actions, she calls my mum and alkie, yet before lockdown was in the pub all the time, so maybe that's what the messages are, hope you are ok x

 

[Carpediem69]

Hope this is allowed on this thread, it’s very personal but I thought it’d be nice to get some thoughts/advice anonymously

Basically I think I’ve got depression. I’ve felt it for a while, like there’s something just not quite right in my head. I have off days so does everyone but for me, it’s more than that. The tiniest thing is enormous to me. I cry because there’s plates that need cleaning, my brain can’t cope with more than one thing, even something like booking a dentist appointment along side booking a doctor app, it’s too much for me to handle mentally. I feel like a failure, a failure in life and to my family, every day just feels like a massive struggle to me and I very much have a ‘what’s the point’ mindset. My mood swings are horrific too. That’s just a small part of what I feel. It’s not every day, some days I’m really happy, but most days I’m not. I reached out to a doctor last week for the first time and it took a lot. I haven’t yet plucked up the courage to call the phone numbers they gave me (Mind etc)

sorry it’s a bit of a ramble and possibly a bit off topic but it’s nice to get some things off my chest as I haven’t got many close girl friends x

@peaches - please do try to call one of the numbers they have suggested - these helplines will not judge you and will offer you some good advice - I am sure you will feel better speaking to someone anonymously and I realise it is hard to pick up the phone and speak at times - maybe set aside some time and be courageous - I know this is not easy - and it could possibly help you more than you think - do let us know how it goes but in the meantime stay with us on this thread for some support

 

[Nuttynana]

Morning everyone Great idea for a new thread Chita @Chita.

I'm getting myself a bit worked up this week, as after looking after my Mum for 6 months since my Dad died in January (she has very severe mental health problems and has undergone ECT during this period and threatened suicide nearly every day!) I've finally had to relinquish her care to a 24 hour carer at home. They are due to start mid week but we haven't even been introduced to them yet. I've got all sorts of worries going through my mind from trying to keep her Covid safe to will the carer simply 'Be kind'? I've been trying to keep my business afloat at the same time but it has had to take a back seat in the last few weeks - it will be strange having the time to get back on with life again.

The H&M thread was the only bit of light relief I had - so thanks you lovely lot I promise to try and not make it all about Me..me..me!

I bring victoria sponge and decaf tea (sorry - caffeine give me the jitters!)

You have every right to be stressed Spangly I don't think many people would cope with what you are doing.

Chin up girl, have a glass of something alcoholic and just say bollocks to misfortune it ain't gonna get the better of me or look at someone you really dislike and all the things you would like to say to them.

I don't suffer from MH problems but when I am pissed off, like today that is what I do, this should be renamed the fuck you forum, go on do it and let it all take a back seat

 

[Doodlebug005]

Do you ever feel stuck. No motivation, tired, can’t be arsed. Adult life just seems hard. I’m 31. Feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders. I’m just tired. I’m sick of bills, my step mum has cancer and waiting on results to see how bad it is and if it’s spread etc. I’m tired of working hard on a shit salary. My friends are all on at least 10k above me. I don’t begrudge them, they work hard. But so do I.
Sorry I know it’s nothing compared to what some people deal with.

We really are living groundhog day aren't we! You are entitled to a moan , some people seem to sail through life and others have it harder. It's not fair. I hope you get good news regarding step mum. Do something nice for yourself, you need a boost. Don't be sorry, the thread is here to let off steam

 

[vretch]

Hope this is allowed on this thread, it’s very personal but I thought it’d be nice to get some thoughts/advice anonymously

Basically I think I’ve got depression. I’ve felt it for a while, like there’s something just not quite right in my head. I have off days so does everyone but for me, it’s more than that. The tiniest thing is enormous to me. I cry because there’s plates that need cleaning, my brain can’t cope with more than one thing, even something like booking a dentist appointment along side booking a doctor app, it’s too much for me to handle mentally. I feel like a failure, a failure in life and to my family, every day just feels like a massive struggle to me and I very much have a ‘what’s the point’ mindset. My mood swings are horrific too. That’s just a small part of what I feel. It’s not every day, some days I’m really happy, but most days I’m not. I reached out to a doctor last week for the first time and it took a lot. I haven’t yet plucked up the courage to call the phone numbers they gave me (Mind etc)

sorry it’s a bit of a ramble and possibly a bit off topic but it’s nice to get some things off my chest as I haven’t got many close girl friends x

GOod for you for reaching out to a doctor. That’s a great first step and often the hardest. You do sound like you need professional help so please follow up with your doctor especially if you don’t find the courage to call the phone numbers or if when you do, they don’t help. Don’t give up. Take care.

 

[Chita]

I can do decent fruit cakes but sponges? Forget it.
Will NOT rise.

I visited a Food and crafts festival (at Hardwick Hall) a few weeks ago.
There was a cake stall with a Victoria sponge being sold by the slice.
Each of its two layers must have been 3 inches.
How the heck is that possible?
I just have to admit I am crap at sponges.

Why is Chita wittering about cake you may wonder.
I am distracting myself from serious stuff.

Dark times, Tattlers. Dark times.
Someone I love is not coping.
Covid has killed their job sector - musician at weddings, bistros, restaurants, hotel lounges.
18 months worth of gigs cancelled.
Little sign of it picking up again.
Aged 58.
Spirit has been crushed, feels all washed up and like a failure.
Got a part time job to tide over but got the sack because boss too tight to pay 8 odd pounds an hour and replaced my loved one with a teenager who cost less an hour.
That sent self confidence plummeting right down to rock bottom of that deep dark well we have all experienced.
They have been a pro muso for 40 years. No qualifications other than musical skill.
Refuses professional help. Cant find the energy or the will to get it. And gets anxiety just discussing it.
Has the classic "empty shell look" and does not want to live this life if cannot play music for a living again.

All the places that booked regularly have lost so much money during lockdown they are not having live music yet.
And at 58 they feel nobody wants them.
They took a shit job and even got sacked from that , so they feel useless.
I am trying to keep my loved one alive - but its so tough because I cant give them any hope any more.
Im pretty strong but its hard to buoy others up when I have little hope that things will pick up.
And another one who has lots of pain issues but the NHS not really helping so they are like an empty shell, too.
I try to help this loved one too but they are so low and miserable they make it hard work.

So I have two people struggling.
I just wish I had a magic wand to fix how people's low feelings cause so much pain.
I want to pull them all close and hug them better, and I try but its not working.

Could do with some sunny weather to help lift spirits but its cold out today.

Sigh.
Oh for that magic wand.


And a well risen sponge!

 

[Chita]

Feel free to speak, swear, curse at whoever or whatever, if you don't know many swear words you can learn some on here.

I don't know how people are feeling and to be honest I am really shocked at how many out there suffer. Let it all out on here and I call it the fuck it forum

I have never dealt with anyone with mh problems but, if you were someone that I knew I would say the same things.

Local rescue charities are desperate for someone to walk their dogs or just pet them or if you prefer cats you can just be a cat cuddler enquire at cats protection league or others, there is always someone or something out there that welcomes your help..

I am blunt but very caring and just go for something else that needs your attention

Let it out Professor it all helps

And she has a daughter high up in the Police force who has to be called ma'am.

 

[freda19]

I didn’t know this was here but I could really do with some tea and sympathy.

Im a widow of nearly 7 months and my heart just aches constantly. I’m poor so I have to work. I have to be semi normal at times for the people who love me. But I’m not normal anymore. I’m a hollow shell with all my broken pieces rattling around inside. I can’t do life, it’s too hard. The world is just so so shit.

Oh sweetie, 7 months is like yesterday, no wonder you are aching.
Honestly, all I can say is that over time you learn to live with the ache till it just becomes normal and manageable. Everything is raw now, and while working seems hard, the alternative is sitting at home, with no distractions to your hurt.
Please please know that people genuinely care and If you don't object I'll light a candle in my local church for you this weekend, that you manage to find solace somewhere and learn to keep putting one foot in front of the other till time begins a healing process in some small measure.

 

[Ilovemusic]

My mum had a carer, she put her in the bath and I decided to strip the bed. After a short time I heard...
"wash yer penny"
I literally ran downstairs with the sheets and died. It really tickled me

My mum (87) struggles with mobility so has a carer in the morning to make sure she’s safe in the shower. A few weeks ago she heard a male voice at the back door, it was a carer announcing their arrival. My mum was mortified so promptly opened a window, told him she didn’t want a male carer and sent him on his way!
Btw, I’m no help since we’re 400 miles apart!

 

[Homebird44]

Such a lovely thread. I think it really helps when you've had a bad day or week reading on here. Its too easy to think you're the only one feeling a bit overwhelmed. I have always been lucky when it comes to mental health. My husband has always been the worrier out of the two of us. About a year ago I started waking up in the early hours feeling like I couldn't breathe and just really anxious. I started looking into it a bit more and it definitely seems to be common with the menopause. Damm hormones.

 

[Chita]

 

[50sGirl]

It's tough because the first anniversary is easy for everyone

The second, it's just down to me and him and he's gone

It’s still earlyish days with my grief, but I found this online and imho it sums up grief perfectly.

You’ve just had a wave hit, hold on to whatever you can and the waters will go calm again xx
.