Escape into the Tea & Sympathy Support room.

[Miscanthus]

Thank you so much for replying
I've had to talk to my doctor in the past about things and my anxiety.
I'm diagnosed with anxiety but think I've had depression too for years now.
My doctors attitude in the past has been, it's in the past and kinda just get over it.
So I be afraid to talk about my anxiety again or even depression.

I see so many others talk on this site about talking to their doctors about their mental health and getting help and medication.

I think I would break down crying if I went to my doctor and if I was talking about wanting to die. Think he might sit up and listen then.
I feel in the past with him it's just been like, you're fine nothing wrong with you


No not taking any medication. I've taken some in the past for anxiety.
I really don't like going to doctors especially about mental health. My doctor has never been very helpful.
Thank you for taking time to reply to me

Sorry to hear you are feeling so low. Ask to see another doctor....you don't need to give a reason.
If they suspect depression they will ask you about dark thoughts anyway. Meds will help, trust me. Counselling will help with your self esteem too.
Wishing you all the best, sending hugs

 

[50sGirl]

Just waiting to die really. Shouldn't have even been born I think. Just a waste of space and deserve nothing in life.

I'm a very kind caring and loving person but been destroyed mentally on the inside.
I smile laugh and help others.
I feel I'm a waste of a life.

Like others have mentioned on this thread about having cancer and the poor people in Kabul. I'd gladly give you's my life.

I'm exhausted all the time from very little. So that makes me feel even more useless.
Even doing the littlest thing is exhausting for me. Haven't showered in a few days can't be bothered, just the thought of the effort of washing myself is tiring.

I have been keeping myself clean and I don't smell, just not fully showering.

I always just smile and then cry sometimes when I'm alone

Sweetgirl, I can’t really add to the great advice you’ve already been given on here but all I can say is that I’ve been in that very dark place twice in my life and I’m so thankful I never acted on it.

You are not a waste of space. You said yourself that you help others so that shows me that you ARE needed and you have a good heart.

If you don’t feel like or don’t have the energy to wash then don’t worry about it.
It’s a classic sign of depression as are the other things you’ve written. Many years ago I could have written your post pretty much word for word.

Try and see another doctor if possible and don’t worry if you burst into tears because the chances are that you will.
I recall booking an appointment to see mine and Sod’s law on the day of the appointment I was having a “good day” so I thought she’d think I was wasting her time. I went into her room and as soon as she asked how she could help me I promptly burst into tears and sobbed “and I’m having a good day today!”
They know the signs so please don’t let one bad experience put you off.

Sometimes it’s easier to talk anonymously on a forum than it is in real life so talk away.
I’ve spoken about my earlier mental health problems on another thread. Tattlers know things that I’ve never told my nearest and dearest.

Hark at me - I started this post with I’ve nothing much to add!

You’ve taken the first step by posting on here how you are feeling. The first step is always the hardest so well done for having that courage. You did it. You are not alone xx

 

[Sweetgirl89]

Sweetgirl, I can’t really add to the great advice you’ve already been given on here but all I can say is that I’ve been in that very dark place twice in my life and I’m so thankful I never acted on it.

You are not a waste of space. You said yourself that you help others so that shows me that you ARE needed and you have a good heart.

If you don’t feel like or don’t have the energy to wash then don’t worry about it.
It’s a classic sign of depression as are the other things you’ve written. Many years ago I could have written your post pretty much word for word.

Try and see another doctor if possible and don’t worry if you burst into tears because the chances are that you will.
I recall booking an appointment to see mine and Sod’s law on the day of the appointment I was having a “good day” so I thought she’d think I was wasting her time. I went into her room and as soon as she asked how she could help me I promptly burst into tears and sobbed “and I’m having a good day today!”
They know the signs so please don’t let one bad experience put you off.

Sometimes it’s easier to talk anonymously on a forum than it is in real life so talk away.
I’ve spoken about my earlier mental health problems on another thread. Tattlers know things that I’ve never told my nearest and dearest.

Hark at me - I started this post with I’ve nothing much to add!

You’ve taken the first step by posting on here how you are feeling. The first step is always the hardest so well done for having that courage. You did it. You are not alone xx

Thank you for being so kind and understanding. I don't feel so alone with everyone on here being so caring.

I'll be ok

 

[Miscanthus]

Thank you for being so kind and understanding. I don't feel so alone with everyone on here being so caring.

I'll be ok

Please...it's hard to get through anxiety and depression on your own. If you can summon the strength, go to the doctor. Let us know how you get on. A lot of us have been in the same situation so we do understand.

 

[Chita]

You are so kind and lovely. My gp surgery has a couple of doctors too. I don't like my doctor. Would rather go to anyone else I think.
I'm really broken on the inside. Think any other doctor could see that.
I was putting on a smile today on my face when with my family and then went home and cried. Yesterday I don't know how I got out of bed I was feeling extreme fatigue.
Today my eyes are just burning with exhaustion.

Which is what I feel guilty about. What right have I to be tired. What have I done to be so exhausted. I know it's the anxiety and depression and mental health can be exhausting.

Just feels nice for someone to be like, it's ok that you're feeling like this and you're doing good just getting through the day.

Your kind words mean a lot. They do help.

You ARE 'doing good just getting through the day.'
But you do need to get some help. Probably medication.
It's usually a kind of chemical imbalance that makes you feel like you do. The correct type and dosage [once you find it] will help you cope. And then a little way down the line those huge mountains you see as daunting now will become smaller and less daunting.

You need to bypass that crappy Doctor.
So if you feel strong enough tomorrow why not see if you can get an appointment with the other one at the surgery. Make sure the appointment is not with the one you don't like. Don't let them bully you. You don't have to explain why you don't want to see that one, you just have to make it known you don't want to see that one again.
They HAVE to listen to your wishes regarding this. If insisting on seeing the other doctor means you have to wait a bit longer for the appointment, don't panic. Come in here and chat with us to help you until the appointment comes around.

If you don't feel like you can ring the actual surgery, try that NHS link I posted earlier or that hub of hope website first. See what they can do for you.
Try them anyway. They might be able to help you in other ways.

 

[Sweetgirl89]

You are doing good just getting through the day.
But you do need to get some help. Probably medication.
Its usually a kind of chemical imbalance that makes you feel like you do. The correct type and dosage [once you find it] will help you cope. And then a way down the line those huge mountains you see as daunting now will become smaller and less daunting.

You need to by-pass that crappy Doctor.
So if you feel strong enough tomorrow why not see if you can get an appointment with the other one at the surgery. Make sure the appointment is not with the one you dont like.
You dont have to explain why you dont want to see that one, you just have to make it know you dont want to see that one again.
They HAVE to listen to your wishes regarding this.

If you dont feel like you can ring the actual surgery, try that NHS link I posted earlier or that hub of hope website first. See what they can do for you.

Just take it a little at a time.

I will thank you and I'll contact my doctors about an appointment

 

[Chita]

I will thank you and I'll contact my doctors about an appointment

Well done.
And let us know how you get on.

We can always send @freda19 round to yell at the crap Doctor. That'd teach him[or her] to be a better Doctor.

 

[Sweetgirl89]

Please...it's hard to get through anxiety and depression on your own. If you can summon the strength, go to the doctor. Let us know how you get on. A lot of us have been in the same situation so we do understand.

I will. Good to know that other people do think it should be taken seriously.
That's always my fear. That others will say there's nothing wrong with you. You're fine.
Feel like some of my family would say that.

Well done.
And let us know how you get on.

We can always send @freda19 round to yell at the crap Doctor. That'd teach him[or her] to be a better Doctor.

Sure would love to see him being yelled at.

Thank you so much everyone

 

[freda19]

You are so kind and lovely. My gp surgery has a couple of doctors too. I don't like my doctor. Would rather go to anyone else I think.
I'm really broken on the inside. Think any other doctor could see that.
I was putting on a smile today on my face when with my family and then went home and cried. Yesterday I don't know how I got out of bed I was feeling extreme fatigue.
Today my eyes are just burning with exhaustion.

Which is what I feel guilty about. What right have I to be tired. What have I done to be so exhausted. I know it's the anxiety and depression and mental health can be exhausting.

Just feels nice for someone to be like, it's ok that you're feeling like this and you're doing good just getting through the day.

Your kind words mean a lot. They do help.

Mental health going awry IS exhausting. It absorbs all your energy and wrecks you.
You clearly have depression which often accompanies anxiety. Been there done that and let me tell you, I wore the same knickers for over a week and never washed. Not hands, not fanny, nothing. I was a giant ball of WHO CARES!Then I got help and gradually crawled out of the big black hole.

You'll get there bubba, hang in there. Just do not underplay your feelings when you get to see a doc. Even the "no-washing" thing is a symptom and he/she will recognise it as such so tell her/him. It's not shameful, it's one of your symptoms.


I bet some people reading here think "What a bunch of know-all armchair psychiatrists!"
The fact is we only talk of what we know from personal experience and if it helps others or makes them feel less alone then I don't give a shiny shite who thinks we're a bunch of weirdos.

Well done.
And let us know how you get on.

We can always send @freda19 round to yell at the crap Doctor. That'd teach him[or her] to be a better Doctor.

Cheeky witch. I'm putting you on ignore.

 

[Chita]

Mental health going awry IS exhausting. It absorbs all your energy and wrecks you.
You clearly have depression which often accompanies anxiety. Been there done that and let me tell you, I wore the same knickers for over a week and never washed. Not hands, not fanny, nothing. I was a giant ball of WHO CARES!Then I got help and gradually crawled out of the big black hole.

You'll get there bubba, hang in there. Just do not underplay your feelings when you get to see a doc. Even the "no-washing" thing is a symptom and he/she will recognise it as such so tell her/him. It's not shameful, it's one of your symptoms.


I bet some people reading here think "What a bunch of know-all armchair psychiatrists!"
The fact is we only talk of what we know from personal experience and if it helps others or makes them feel less alone then I don't give a shiny shite who thinks we're a bunch of weirdos.


Cheeky witch. I'm putting you on ignore.

just show 'em your current avatar. They'll have nightmares. Job done.

 

[Evabee]

I don’t usually post but you ladies seem so lovely. I’ve been having a rough time at the moment and it’s getting too much for me, I feel like I’m drowning in it all.
I’ve realised recently how alone I am, how I’ve never really had any friends and how my own parents have never accepted me. I’m moving to another city in two weeks and I’m so scared I’ll continue being alone, I just don’t know how to make friends

 

[Miscanthus]

Mental health going awry IS exhausting. It absorbs all your energy and wrecks you.
You clearly have depression which often accompanies anxiety. Been there done that and let me tell you, I wore the same knickers for over a week and never washed. Not hands, not fanny, nothing. I was a giant ball of WHO CARES!Then I got help and gradually crawled out of the big black hole.

You'll get there bubba, hang in there. Just do not underplay your feelings when you get to see a doc. Even the "no-washing" thing is a symptom and he/she will recognise it as such so tell her/him. It's not shameful, it's one of your symptoms.


I bet some people reading here think "What a bunch of know-all armchair psychiatrists!"
The fact is we only talk of what we know from personal experience and if it helps others or makes them feel less alone then I don't give a shiny shite who thinks we're a bunch of weirdos.


Cheeky witch. I'm putting you on ignore.

Yes.....I would never dream of advising somebody if I didn't have personal experience. My own depression was a few years ago and there is so much more information out there now, plus a huge focus on MH. I've never hidden what I went through, in the hope it can help others.

 

[Chita]

I don’t usually post but you ladies seem so lovely. I’ve been having a rough time at the moment and it’s getting too much for me, I feel like I’m drowning in it all.
I’ve realised recently how alone I am, how I’ve never really had any friends and how my own parents have never accepted me. I’m moving to another city in two weeks and I’m so scared I’ll continue being alone, I just don’t know how to make friends

Moving to a new city is a fresh start.
The perfect time to make changes.
If you are starting a new job you will meet new people naturally through your place of work. So just take a deep breath, smile and say hello to people there.
Then tell colleagues you are new to the area and ask if anyone can recommend nice places for you to get out and about.


Consider classes. What do you like?
Is there anything you've always wanted to do but never got round to doing? Learn a foreign language?
Learn to dance? Paint? Sew? Make pottery? Amateur dramatics? Join a choir?
Learn something that interests you - there will be like minded people at those classes who also want to make friends.
(A friend of mine was widowed young. After a few years of coping with her loss she decided she needed to meet new people. She isnt really a singer but she joined a local "rock choir" and met lots of new friends through that. The communal singing also made her feel good.)

Or go to a fitness class and just smile and say hi at the other class members.
People will soon chat to you and you will gradually make friends and then go for coffee and chat after class.

Maybe join a church group or book club.
Check out facebook for local groups you could join. Ask in the local library for a list of classes.

If your parents don't treat you how you want to be treated, maybe its time to stop trying to please them/get praise from them.
Take that first step when you relocate. Find some classes or groups and put your energies into that.

You can do it.
Xxx

 

[Sunflower91]

I don’t usually post but you ladies seem so lovely. I’ve been having a rough time at the moment and it’s getting too much for me, I feel like I’m drowning in it all.
I’ve realised recently how alone I am, how I’ve never really had any friends and how my own parents have never accepted me. I’m moving to another city in two weeks and I’m so scared I’ll continue being alone, I just don’t know how to make friends

I could have written this a few years ago. I moved to London for work and had similar worries. Like other posters have said- work colleagues can be a big help, some of mine have turned into my closest friends. Also if you have any hobbies or interests try downloading the app meet-up and seeing what’s on there, they usually have a “new to the city” group depending on the city.

Oh bubba, if that house was meant for you then you wouldn't have lost out. Sounds trite but honestly, things have a funny way of working out. It's still really early after your break up and you're just feeling fragile. Hang in there, you never know, the sale might fall through and you could still be in with a chance, but if you aren't then there is something better out there ... housewise and partner wise.

I think a big part of it is the breakup when I sit and think about where the feelings are coming from. A couple of weeks ago I was living with someone who I thought loved me, pretty happy and now the landscape has completely shifted and even though I know I’m much better off without him, I can’t help but miss him and miss my “old” life.

 

[Chita]

I could have written this a few years ago. I moved to London for work and had similar worries. Like other posters have said- work colleagues can be a big help, some of mine have turned into my closest friends. Also if you have any hobbies or interests try downloading the app meet-up and seeing what’s on there, they usually have a “new to the city” group depending on the city.


I think a big part of it is the breakup when I sit and think about where the feelings are coming from. A couple of weeks ago I was living with someone who I thought loved me, pretty happy and now the landscape has completely shifted and even though I know I’m much better off without him, I can’t help but miss him and miss my “old” life.

Sometimes when we think things are falling apart they are actually falling into place.

 

[Wilbraham]

Morning everyone. Need a favour, a while ago someone posted a beautiful poem about how we should live our lives, I meant to save it but didn’t and today I’m upset about something and would love to read it. Can anyone remember the name of the poem? Sorry this is such a vague request I have a terrible memory

 

[Chita]

Morning everyone. Need a favour, a while ago someone posted a beautiful poem about how we should live our lives, I meant to save it but didn’t and today I’m upset about something and would love to read it. Can anyone remember the name of the poem? Sorry this is such a vague request I have a terrible memory

Was it the one @50sGirl posted a few pages back?
Will have a look for it.

View attachment 736231

Is it this one @Wilbraham ?

 

[Wilbraham]

Was it the one @50sGirl posted a few pages back?
Will have a look for it.



Is it this one @Wilbraham ?

No it isn’t this one. I remember it had lots of separate verses/paragraphs. I’ll go through the threads and look for it, just being lazy lol. Mad at myself I didn’t save it. I just loved it because there was a lot of advice in it Will let you know when I find it. Thanks for taking the time to look for me

 

[Melian]

I finally got seen by the consultant. More tests urgh!

 

[freda19]

I don’t usually post but you ladies seem so lovely. I’ve been having a rough time at the moment and it’s getting too much for me, I feel like I’m drowning in it all.
I’ve realised recently how alone I am, how I’ve never really had any friends and how my own parents have never accepted me. I’m moving to another city in two weeks and I’m so scared I’ll continue being alone, I just don’t know how to make friends

New town, new start. Try not to take the mental baggage with you.
Imagine yourself packing up the fears and leave them behind and focus on you.
Regarding parents, honestly sometimes it infuriates me that we are expected to respect and love them. Sometimes they are tit, just tit parents, or just tit humans. If you had a couple of crappy mates you'd feel nothing in putting them aside and I think it should be the same with family. I'm from a family of 8 and I gotta admit that a couple of my siblings are crappy human beings and a couple of others are heading that way, so I don't think about them and just do the meet and greet at weddings etc. If your parents cause you such angst then just park them up and walk away. There is no law that says you have to let them in your life either physically or mentally. Park them up and leave them behind mentally when you move
Yes you might be alone, but that makes you more available to find friends/companions without worrying about offending old friends.
Honestly, you coulld really surprise yourself. Just take it slow though, it's easy to be taken in by users when you are the new kid on the block.
Let us know how you get on and good luck.

I could have written this a few years ago. I moved to London for work and had similar worries. Like other posters have said- work colleagues can be a big help, some of mine have turned into my closest friends. Also if you have any hobbies or interests try downloading the app meet-up and seeing what’s on there, they usually have a “new to the city” group depending on the city.


I think a big part of it is the breakup when I sit and think about where the feelings are coming from. A couple of weeks ago I was living with someone who I thought loved me, pretty happy and now the landscape has completely shifted and even though I know I’m much better off without him, I can’t help but miss him and miss my “old” life.

Yeah, it's no good people trilling about being glad to be out of it, that's just your sensible head trying to keep you sane ... it's earth shattering. It's like somebody threw a grenade into your life and messed up everything. Like somebody jiggled up the lovely jigsaw of your life that you thought was complete and perfect. But you can do it again, the pieces are all there. Mentally and physically you are temporarily buggered up, but you are doing all the right things and everything will fall into place again over time.

No it isn’t this one. I remember it had lots of separate verses/paragraphs. I’ll go through the threads and look for it, just being lazy lol. Mad at myself I didn’t save it. I just loved it because there was a lot of advice in it Will let you know when I find it. Thanks for taking the time to look for me

Desiderata?