Escape into the Tea & Sympathy Support room.

[Nuttynana]

I don't come on to this thread very much because I am totally out of my depth with what to say to you all.

I am really gobsmacked at the people on here with such awful problems, probably because I have been very fortunate in not having MH problems or other sad stories to tell.

I am just a mouthy, very badly behaved old person with a vast collection of profanities which would probably never help any of you but, I am very sympathetic to you all even though I spend my time on the bleep and Cuntess of Cali thread.

Here to help but my advice is probably not worth a pitcher of warm spit but think of you all anyway, just ask if you want to know anything sick or humorous.

To all those people that have been upset or traumatized my lowly advice is to say go duck a doughnut to the nasty bastards in your lives.

I can always ask Ginger Tom and his pussy squad to visit them with their ski masks on.

Maine Coon Mama your cats are stunning and Ginger Tom wants to interview them for CAS squad, cats air service.

 

[Chita]

Ginger Tom ROCKS!

 

[freda19]

Been suffering from such horrific levels of stress since the start of this year I have real trouble with my digestive system to the point where I have to take anti-vomiting tablets, get stomach cramps when I eat not even very much, have a whole list of foods I can't eat at all and am in just general discomfort and fear most of the time. Thought I had the worst of it under control but it's flared up again.

GPs have been utterly useless. I have a telephone consultation in Sep that I've been waiting for for several months but I don't even know what the point of that is. This is the sort of thing that needs someone actually examining me in person but I can't see that happening as my GP has been shut since March 2020 and referrals aren't a thing anymore even when we barely had Covid here for some time last year.

I am in a state of utter despair at what's happened to health care in the UK. Did my best to try and stay healthy but the worst happened anyway...and I fear they will be using "yeah, but Covid" as a reason to keep people out of GP surgeries and hospitals for an extremely long time, maybe forever.

Life really bleeping sucks in every way.

This is heart breaking, I'm SO sorry you are going through this. Unfortunately it's a situation that I doubt any of us can help you very much with.
Except, maybe start writing down bullet points that you feel are the most important for the Sept call. Keep things sharp and short and use capital letters, cos sure as tit you'll lose your specs at the crucial moment in the call and be unable to remember the bullet points. Maybe one or more of your points will strike a chord enough for the person to be able to recommend something.
The thing with stress related issues is that you stress like hell trying to reduce your stress. It's a vicious circle, and not eating well makes it worse. Have you tried something like Complan? You just mix that with milk (if I remember correctly) and it is easily digested and contains nutrients needed. Maybe gaining even a small amount of control of your eating system will give you the little boost, enough to cope better until this flare-up buggers off.
Sadly I agree re the surgeries using this as a way to reduce their workload. I honestly can't complain about mine, they've been amazing, especially with my elderly relatives. I get it, face to face needs judged carefully, but I think some surgeries go too far. My sis in law asked me to get her onto my doctor's list because her own doctor is refusing her appointments (because she is abusing the system, and always has done). I asked my doc and was honest with him re her reputation of haunting her surgery every other week over nonsense. He was horrified and said tell her our books are closed and we're already over loaded. The reason I'm telling you this is to explain that some people abuse the easy going system and it's people like you, genuinely suffering who are left behind.
Try to hang in there and not panic and make that little list for the Sept call. x

 

[Kittypops]

Sorry to just jump in
I'm at an all time low
Life is tit, work is tit, I have nothing

Not looking for any validation, it's just that I have no one else to talk to

Edit: no reply necessary, I just needed to say it out loud

 

[jawidjanqndn]

Sorry to just jump in
I'm at an all time low
Life is tit, work is tit, I have nothing

Not looking for any validation, it's just that I have no one else to talk to

couldn’t relate more. i have absolutely no one in my life and haven’t for 3+ years. i’m so alone and it’s so tit having no one to talk to.

 

[freda19]

It amazes me that so many people assume that because they have besties at their beck and call, that everyone else has them too.
Life isn't like that for many people.
We all need somewhere to just say, "I'm fucked off with life and work SO THERE!". It's good to have a moan, and even better when you can be anonymous doing it.

 

[Kittypops]

Does anyone really have besties?

 

[shazbev]

Evening Tattlers , I know it's late but I'm about to burst a blood vessel. My OH has spent the day at his sister's and has reported back that her daughter- his neice- intends to buy a dog. She can't adopt , she's been turned down by dog charities, mostly because she is bi polar and she has 4 young children- 2 have complex mh needs e.g ADHD, add, tourrettes and epilepsy. I'm absolutely aghast , she can't look after herself nor her kids and I'm absolutely fretting about her taking on a puppy, apparently she's spent a grand on this dog and us desperately trying to sell stuff on eBay etc to raise funds. Any ideas how I can approach this ,? I'm seriously concerned for this little dog 's( a tit Zhu) safety. I'm also concerned that maybe her bi polar is also not being properly managed. Sorry to lumber this on you guys but I can't talk to oh, he hangs on every word his sister says and Don know who I can express my concern to.

 

[Kittypops]

Where's the got this dog from @shazbev?
It sounds all wrong and you are right to be concerned

 

[shazbev]

Where's the got this dog from @shazbev?
It sounds all wrong and you are right to be concerned

I believe it's a friend of a friend so the alarm bells are ringing and the words puppy farm are forming in my mind @Kittypops . I think I'm in for a sleepless night. My oh is sorry he told me now cos I won't shut up about it.

 

[Chita]

Sorry to just jump in
I'm at an all time low
Life is tit, work is tit, I have nothing

Not looking for any validation, it's just that I have no one else to talk to

Edit: no reply necessary, I just needed to say it out loud

couldn’t relate more. i have absolutely no one in my life and haven’t for 3+ years. i’m so alone and it’s so tit having no one to talk to.

You both have us to talk to now.

Life IS tit.
tit happens.
People are crappy.

But we can handle it with a bit of faith, hope, fellow Tattlers and ......chocolate.

The Galaxy counters from the Revels bag are MINE and I will fight you for 'em.
Or maybe I'll send @Nuttynana 's ginger tom round to howl under your bedroom window at midnight.

I believe it's a friend of a friend so the alarm bells are ringing and the words puppy farm are forming in my mind @Kittypops . I think I'm in for a sleepless night. My oh is sorry he told me now cos I won't shut up about it.

Has she actually got the dog?
The dog might have behavioural problems, so you need to keep any eye on that as well as everything else.

Oh heck. I hope you re ok.

 

[freda19]

Does anyone really have besties?

I don't.
I have trust issues after being shat on a couple of times, so I have a decreasing circle of friends and in all honesty I would call none of them a bestie really.
I'm fine with that. I had lots of besties in my past and plenty of good memories. As I've got older and as an onlooker I've seen a few besties 'nick' husbands or be total cunts about someone who has faith in them.

Besties can be over rated in my opinion. Sometimes anonymous venting serves the same purpose.

I believe it's a friend of a friend so the alarm bells are ringing and the words puppy farm are forming in my mind @Kittypops . I think I'm in for a sleepless night. My oh is sorry he told me now cos I won't shut up about it.

Honestly, you need to stop venting at hubby. You'll cause problems and it's a situation you can do nothing about.
It's very sad but you have to let it play out. You never know, focusing on this little creature could be a good thing for the family (very unlikely, but you never know). All you can do is stay aware, and remember, if you irritate hubby too much then he'll not pass on any more info about the situation to you for fear of another ear bashing.
You can't act if there's nothing to act on yet bubba.

 

[shazbev]

I don't.
I have trust issues after being shat on a couple of times, so I have a decreasing circle of friends and in all honesty I would call none of them a bestie really.
I'm fine with that. I had lots of besties in my past and plenty of good memories. As I've got older and as an onlooker I've seen a few besties 'nick' husbands or be total cunts about someone who has faith in them.

Besties can be over rated in my opinion. Sometimes anonymous venting serves the same pur

Honestly, you need to stop venting at hubby. You'll cause problems and it's a situation you can do nothing about.
It's very sad but you have to let it play out. You never know, focusing on this little creature could be a good thing for the family (very unlikely, but you never know). All you can do is stay aware, and remember, if you irritate hubby too much then he'll not pass on any more info about the situation to you for fear of another ear bashing.
You can't act if there's nothing to act on yet bubba.

Very true @freda19 , you and @Chita are the voice of reason here. So I'll just keep an eye on things. I'm quite hot headed and oh is very non confrontational so it's pointless raging at him. My daughter's away on holiday at the mo and she's very doggie orientated so I may get her to have a friendly word . She reminds me a bit of you @freda19 so I'll hang fire . Cheers all and hope we all have a more peaceful day

 

[Chita]

Very true @freda19 , you and @Chita are the voice of reason here. So I'll just keep an eye on things. I'm quite hot headed and oh is very non confrontational so it's pointless raging at him. My daughter's away on holiday at the mo and she's very doggie orientated so I may get her to have a friendly word . She reminds me a bit of you @freda19 so I'll hang fire . Cheers all and hope we all have a more peaceful day

Therapy dogs are a thing now.
They take them into hospitals and care homes and schools etc.
So Freda is right, the presence of the doggie might actually be a good thing.






Regarding this 'friends and 'best friends' thing..... yes it is nice to have someone to talk to, but as I said, everything comes down to us. Ourselves.
We are the only ones who can make a decision that needs making.
We are the only ones who can decide to fix ourselves when our mental health becomes an issue.
We are the only ones who can get a physical health issue or relationship issue fixed.
We are the only ones who can lose that weight, kick that habit etc.

So even if there are no friends in your life or several of them, everything comes down to ourselves.


And Freda is absolutely right when she says that often talking anonymously to strangers online is a much bigger help than talking to someone we know.

And being self-reliant is great training for when your friends let you down. So if you rely on no-one but yourself, you will always be ok.
Sure its great to have chums to support you and have fun with from time to time, but when they leave you or when they aren't available at that moment when you need them to be, you will always be ok if you have learned to be self-reliant.


Mates are great but not always what they are cracked up to be.

 

[Jadejones9596]

I'm just fed up of how my life has ended up. I imagined so much more for myself but I've got the opposite and there isn't much I can do about it.
I'm insanely jealous of those my age who are living the life I wanted for myself but will never have because I have been robbed of all sorts in my life.
I'm just existing rather than living life and enjoying it.

Edited to add that seeing these influences who do duck all but get paid the big bucks is really bringing me down. I'd love to be able to do that just for a short time until I had enough to buy a house out right and have enough to live comfortably for the rest of my life. I hate the way of the world sometimes, it's honestly so unfair.

I often feel this way too, I find my gratitude diary helps me a lot, just filling in a couple of things I am thankful for in a day helps! Also, read these tattle pages, I love the good old giggle from the Katie Hayes page I get, shows the real them too sending hugs x

 

[Damita]

This is heart breaking, I'm SO sorry you are going through this. Unfortunately it's a situation that I doubt any of us can help you very much with.
Except, maybe start writing down bullet points that you feel are the most important for the Sept call. Keep things sharp and short and use capital letters, cos sure as tit you'll lose your specs at the crucial moment in the call and be unable to remember the bullet points. Maybe one or more of your points will strike a chord enough for the person to be able to recommend something.
The thing with stress related issues is that you stress like hell trying to reduce your stress. It's a vicious circle, and not eating well makes it worse. Have you tried something like Complan? You just mix that with milk (if I remember correctly) and it is easily digested and contains nutrients needed. Maybe gaining even a small amount of control of your eating system will give you the little boost, enough to cope better until this flare-up buggers off.
Sadly I agree re the surgeries using this as a way to reduce their workload. I honestly can't complain about mine, they've been amazing, especially with my elderly relatives. I get it, face to face needs judged carefully, but I think some surgeries go too far. My sis in law asked me to get her onto my doctor's list because her own doctor is refusing her appointments (because she is abusing the system, and always has done). I asked my doc and was honest with him re her reputation of haunting her surgery every other week over nonsense. He was horrified and said tell her our books are closed and we're already over loaded. The reason I'm telling you this is to explain that some people abuse the easy going system and it's people like you, genuinely suffering who are left behind.
Try to hang in there and not panic and make that little list for the Sept call. x

Freda, I am so touched by your support. It means such a lot that anyone would take the time to leave such a lovely and helpful comment, thank you.

Totally agree about writing everything down clearly, I just ordered a new notepad the other day from Amazon to do just that.

Mainly I'm annoyed at myself for getting back into this position in the first place but stress is just the biggest witch to beat. It's a constant fight. Vicious cycle, like you say.

I'm getting through by just absolutely treasuring the times I feel well. Today I've been able to eat some small meals, have a shower and will hopefully pop out to the shops up the road soon just to get some fresh air. For me, that's a really good day.

Sorry to hear about your sister, she sounds like a nightmare. I have a relative who is not only always "ill" but has to be more ill than anybody who ever lived, with a parent who I think has munchausen by proxy or some tit because she loves playing to it and not letting anyone be more in need than her nearing middle age daughter, it's nauseating.

 

[softly softly]

Good Morning you lovely lot !

Well... there have been many times since this thread started that I've wanted to post, either to give some help (not needed as such good replies from others)/say that I can relate and then at times where myself when I have been struggling.

I struggle with day to day life and have to manage it in such a way in order to cope. I'm bright but struggle with anxiety/friendships and become easily overwhelmed . I also care for my mum which can prove challenging ! I think over the years I've learnt quite a bit about myself and have learnt techniques to help myself. So I do have my positives .

However ... this morning I'm struggling even more and feeling very alone as the OH, my wingman, is in hospital ,awaiting an MRI and then possible surgery . Now I say I'm feeling alone but goodness knows why as there's been quite a talk going on between my more negative internal voice (it's cancer) and my positive one (it's good that he's having the scan so we can finally find what is wrong and deal with it. No point worrying about it, even though its understandable , until we know the facts.It could be something quite simple. Now how about writing a little list of things to do today to help keep the mind more focused and stop thinking all kinds of things. Surprise him... that you've discovered what a duster is in his absence !)

Today deep down I'm feeling scared because I am convincing myself that the negative voice is in fact correct.

Thing is, other things are happening which means I'm having to contact people and that is really not helping me either.

Ho hum !

Right... off to put kettle on and see if I can make the kitchen look like a thing of beauty instead of something that Kim and Aggie might wish to visit (it's not that bad but could do with a bit of love and attention )

 

[Sunflower91]

Hey all. Saw this thread and just wanted to pop by. Currently on day 3 of being completely heartbroken. I haven’t officially split with him/ had a sit down convo but I moved out of his place and back to my mum and dads. I’ve written down what I want to say but it’s just so hard. I really thought I had something with this guy and could see in his face how much he adored me. But he keeps having breakdowns and saying he isn’t sure about me or that he needs space. Long story short, it’s more complex than that and I honestly don’t think i’m the problem, he’s massively depressed and taking it out on me. So for my own sake I can’t stay with him but it’s killing me splitting up. I just keep thinking about how good things were other than these breakdowns . We had so much stuff planned together- it was exciting. I just feel like I switch between feeling completely hollow and just a sobbing mess. I cried at the checkout yesterday becusse the cashier asked if I was moving house. I just feel like a broken human that was just never meant to be happy.

 

[Chita]

Good Morning you lovely lot !

Well... there have been many times since this thread started that I've wanted to post, either to give some help (not needed as such good replies from others)/say that I can relate and then at times where myself when I have been struggling.

I struggle with day to day life and have to manage it in such a way in order to cope. I'm bright but struggle with anxiety/friendships and become easily overwhelmed . I also care for my mum which can prove challenging ! I think over the years I've learnt quite a bit about myself and have learnt techniques to help myself. So I do have my positives .

However ... this morning I'm struggling even more and feeling very alone as the OH, my wingman, is in hospital ,awaiting an MRI and then possible surgery . Now I say I'm feeling alone but goodness knows why as there's been quite a talk going on between my more negative internal voice (it's cancer) and my positive one (it's good that he's having the scan so we can finally find what is wrong and deal with it. No point worrying about it, even though its understandable , until we know the facts.It could be something quite simple. Now how about writing a little list of things to do today to help keep the mind more focused and stop thinking all kinds of things. Surprise him... that you've discovered what a duster is in his absence !)

Today deep down I'm feeling scared because I am convincing myself that the negative voice is in fact correct.

Thing is, other things are happening which means I'm having to contact people and that is really not helping me either.

Ho hum !

Right... off to put kettle on and see if I can make the kitchen look like a thing of beauty instead of something that Kim and Aggie might wish to visit (it's not that bad but could do with a bit of love and attention )

You sound amazing.
Positivity springs from your post even though you clearly have a lot to cope with and seem in control.
I find though, that those who give the appearance of being in control and positive often get overlooked when support and hugs and sympathetic ears are required because everyone assumes you are ok and always on top of everything.

So, you have come to the right place.
By all means clean that kitchen, which I am sure is fabulously clean really because it helps distract your mind chimp from chattering about the scan results, but know you can have a natter in here as well and let us know what we can do to help ease your burden a bit.

Hey all. Saw this thread and just wanted to pop by. Currently on day 3 of being completely heartbroken. I haven’t officially split with him/ had a sit down convo but I moved out of his place and back to my mum and dads. I’ve written down what I want to say but it’s just so hard. I really thought I had something with this guy and could see in his face how much he adored me. But he keeps having breakdowns and saying he isn’t sure about me or that he needs space. Long story short, it’s more complex than that and I honestly don’t think i’m the problem, he’s massively depressed and taking it out on me. So for my own sake I can’t stay with him but it’s killing me splitting up. I just keep thinking about how good things were other than these breakdowns . We had so much stuff planned together- it was exciting. I just feel like I switch between feeling completely hollow and just a sobbing mess. I cried at the checkout yesterday becusse the cashier asked if I was moving house. I just feel like a broken human that was just never meant to be happy.

He wants space so you have given him space and as you say, you haven't actually split up.
You have taken a step away to give him the space he has asked for.
And of course, you cried. That's totally understandable. And writing down what you want to say is very good therapy.
You may find that you don't actually need to say the words to him or to put them into a card, letter, or email. Maybe just having written them down is enough to help you.
All you can do is to be there for him when he needs you and offer him support while he decides what to do to help himself with his issues.
And the plans you had are just postponed.
You can do them later when he's feeling better.

 

[softly softly]

You sound amazing.
Positivity springs from your post even though you clearly have a lot to cope with and seem in control.
I find though, that those who give the appearance of being in control and positive often get overlooked when support and hugs and sympathetic ears are required because everyone assumes you are ok and always on top of everything.

So, you have come to the right place.
By all means clean that kitchen, which I am sure is fabulously clean really because it helps distract your mind chimp from chattering about the scan results, but know you can have a natter in here as well and let us know what we can do to help ease your burden a bit.

Oh thank you Chita, such kind words. Not quite sure I'm in control as such . I'm a bit like someone lying down and grabbing firmly onto my surfboard on top the the breakers so as not to fall into the water and sink . I'm just riding out the day.

Can't say I got too far with the kitchen. Fabulously clean ? Ha.... err....no ! Well it isn't in the same league as those on the How to clean your house programme by any means. More a case of things needing putting away in the right place.

Ah yes... I remember you mention the chattering chimp a little while ago. I've got that book though I've yet to read it (I'm pants when it comes to reading and can find listening to books easier). Must be a few years ago now and I used to listen to Pete Cohen (think he used to appear on the ITv brekkie prog from time to time and he used Shut the Duck up !

Here's a quick 1 minute clip
Shut The Duck Up! - Bing video

I can report that the scan results have come back clear so that's . Yet to hear more info except he's been able to order dinner.

Now ... what to do for dinner here tonight ?