Escape into the Tea & Sympathy Support room.

[Chita]

Oh definitely! I think I’ve massively had a lucky escape. Thought I’d give you the latest update. I met with him to collect the last of my things, say my peace and sort finances (tickets, holiday etc). So I turned up prepared, wrote down what I had to say and worked out what he owed me. When I read what I had to say there was 0 emotion there. Then it came to the holiday and he still wanted to go but wanted me to be out of pocket or go on holiday with him but being clear we arent a couple- separate rooms/ different hotel. A holiday alone on my bday, waving at my ex from the breakfast table? No thanks. So I tried to be firm and say I expected the full amount or close to. I wasn’t the one that broke this relationship. And I also mentioned that I’d added all the stuff we had booked in up, and it was over 1k but I was willing to settle at that to make things easier. I thought I was being organised but he thought I was being bitter. With the holiday I challenged him on what would happen if they wouldn’t give him money back and he couldn’t answer so I said if I don’t get some money back I’d have to take it to small claims. Well he blew up- never seen anything like it. Just yelling at me saying I’d threatened him. Told me “right now I’m not giving you a bleeping penny”. I was terrified. Threatened to ring my dad (it was literally the only thing I could think of) which made things even worse and he yelled and swore at me until I left his house and was told I wasn’t ever welcome back at his property. Honestly the drive home I was shocked but actually thankful I’m away from him. I’ve done nothing to deserve any of this.

The following day everything was amicable, the holiday is being cancelled with an equal split and he let me keep money from some tickets rather than divide it. Honestly it kind of floored me again. How on earth can someone go from being so lovely, to cold and rejecting, to seriously angry and then back to nice within a week?? All I’ve ever done is be kind and supporting of him, I’ve done nothing to deserve any of it. Bullet well and truly dodged.

Personality disorder, basically.

Thank goodness you are out of that safely.
Now focus on the positive. Let your parents look after you for a bit and then have some fun looking for your own home.

 

[Doodlebug005]

I am avoiding the tv and the news, cannot stomach the evil acts by the heartless c*nts in Afghanistan ... So for anyone that needs a bit of a lift....

 

[50sGirl]

Oh definitely! I think I’ve massively had a lucky escape. Thought I’d give you the latest update. I met with him to collect the last of my things, say my peace and sort finances (tickets, holiday etc). So I turned up prepared, wrote down what I had to say and worked out what he owed me. When I read what I had to say there was 0 emotion there. Then it came to the holiday and he still wanted to go but wanted me to be out of pocket or go on holiday with him but being clear we arent a couple- separate rooms/ different hotel. A holiday alone on my bday, waving at my ex from the breakfast table? No thanks. So I tried to be firm and say I expected the full amount or close to. I wasn’t the one that broke this relationship. And I also mentioned that I’d added all the stuff we had booked in up, and it was over 1k but I was willing to settle at that to make things easier. I thought I was being organised but he thought I was being bitter. With the holiday I challenged him on what would happen if they wouldn’t give him money back and he couldn’t answer so I said if I don’t get some money back I’d have to take it to small claims. Well he blew up- never seen anything like it. Just yelling at me saying I’d threatened him. Told me “right now I’m not giving you a bleeping penny”. I was terrified. Threatened to ring my dad (it was literally the only thing I could think of) which made things even worse and he yelled and swore at me until I left his house and was told I wasn’t ever welcome back at his property. Honestly the drive home I was shocked but actually thankful I’m away from him. I’ve done nothing to deserve any of this.

The following day everything was amicable, the holiday is being cancelled with an equal split and he let me keep money from some tickets rather than divide it. Honestly it kind of floored me again. How on earth can someone go from being so lovely, to cold and rejecting, to seriously angry and then back to nice within a week?? All I’ve ever done is be kind and supporting of him, I’ve done nothing to deserve any of it. Bullet well and truly dodged.

It sounds like typical narcissistic behaviour to me.
Like you say, you’ve dodged a bullet there.
Hugs x

 

[Rockin' Robin]

This may appear to be a bit of a random post, but the mention of teddy bears reminded me of one of my most treasured possesions. He is a teddy that belonged to my late Mother as a child. He is in a bit of a sorry state, he is over 70 years old. He is almost completely bald because Mum tried to cut all his fur off once! I call him Fred - as in Fred bear (threadbare). I will never part with him, because he evokes many happy memories.

 

[Chita]

This may appear to be a bit of a random post, but the mention of teddy bears reminded me of one of my most treasured possesions. He is a teddy that belonged to my late Mother as a child. He is in a bit of a sorry state, he is over 70 years old. He is almost completely bald because Mum tried to cut all his fur off once! I call him Fred - as in Fred bear (threadbare). I will never part with him, because he evokes many happy memories.

He sounds lovely.

 

[Tattyfilarious]

Why are you being horrid? I was only saying something nice? What have I done wrong?

Oh, I am so very sorry - I misinterpreted your words; I've become a miserable, cynical old hag as I've gotten older. Please forgive me - hope you've had a lovely day x

 

[freda19]

This may appear to be a bit of a random post, but the mention of teddy bears reminded me of one of my most treasured possesions. He is a teddy that belonged to my late Mother as a child. He is in a bit of a sorry state, he is over 70 years old. He is almost completely bald because Mum tried to cut all his fur off once! I call him Fred - as in Fred bear (threadbare). I will never part with him, because he evokes many happy memories.

Aww, that's lovely. I have a dolly made of (whatever that stuff older dolls were made of). Not rubber or plastic, whatever. Her name is Sylvia and she's packed away carefully in my loft. Not letting my 2 girls near her , she evokes too many happy and interesting memories for me. She already has a cracked head, which seems apt considering who owns her.

Oh definitely! I think I’ve massively had a lucky escape. Thought I’d give you the latest update. I met with him to collect the last of my things, say my peace and sort finances (tickets, holiday etc). So I turned up prepared, wrote down what I had to say and worked out what he owed me. When I read what I had to say there was 0 emotion there. Then it came to the holiday and he still wanted to go but wanted me to be out of pocket or go on holiday with him but being clear we arent a couple- separate rooms/ different hotel. A holiday alone on my bday, waving at my ex from the breakfast table? No thanks. So I tried to be firm and say I expected the full amount or close to. I wasn’t the one that broke this relationship. And I also mentioned that I’d added all the stuff we had booked in up, and it was over 1k but I was willing to settle at that to make things easier. I thought I was being organised but he thought I was being bitter. With the holiday I challenged him on what would happen if they wouldn’t give him money back and he couldn’t answer so I said if I don’t get some money back I’d have to take it to small claims. Well he blew up- never seen anything like it. Just yelling at me saying I’d threatened him. Told me “right now I’m not giving you a bleeping penny”. I was terrified. Threatened to ring my dad (it was literally the only thing I could think of) which made things even worse and he yelled and swore at me until I left his house and was told I wasn’t ever welcome back at his property. Honestly the drive home I was shocked but actually thankful I’m away from him. I’ve done nothing to deserve any of this.

The following day everything was amicable, the holiday is being cancelled with an equal split and he let me keep money from some tickets rather than divide it. Honestly it kind of floored me again. How on earth can someone go from being so lovely, to cold and rejecting, to seriously angry and then back to nice within a week?? All I’ve ever done is be kind and supporting of him, I’ve done nothing to deserve any of it. Bullet well and truly dodged.

Blimey O'Reilly. What a bleep. Just shows the wisdom of you taking him at his word and moving out when you did.
Oh God, he sounds mental, going from nought to 60 and then back again in mere days. I think maybe his explosion was based on shock at you daring to ask for your rights rather than crawling on your knees begging to be taken back.
Thank goodness you stuck to your guns. Hopefully the money saved will help for a deposit on a nice little nest for you and your pussies.

Phew, I feel like part of a rescue party leading a stranded climber to safety. OK, so we just watched from a safe distance but still ... Well done missus. Have a happy celebratory mushie

 

[Tattyfilarious]

I was absolutely fine, despite my previous history of depression and our children's battles with their mental health - we were all doing okay. Then I got this neighbour, who has no boundaries - she knocks on my door late at night, after 9.00pm and thinks that I'm weird for not thinking that's okay.
I stupidly sympathised with her initially - I'd been there many years before, when our two eldest were young and money was tight.
I was just trying to be kind and it's bitten me on my bum - hence the cynicism. Apologies to anyone that I've offended x

Love you all xxc

Does anyone really have besties?

Mine's my husband - too cheesy!

Well, I'm in the naughty corner - mea culpa

 

[Tattyfilarious]

I can't bear the thought that I might have upset someone, through something that I said or did - I'm just pretty rubbish

 

[Damita]

I got really freaked out by the story of the man caught injecting food in supermarkets in Fulham and said some ridiculous and terrible things in the Real Life Crime and Murder thread in my panic.

I feel like I need to leave the forums now, and I was really enjoying posting here. So mad at myself for not being able to stop and think for a minute about what I'm feeling/saying sometimes. Worried I will get into very serious trouble because of how I react to things when I'm panicked one day.

 

[freda19]

I can't bear the thought that I might have upset someone, through something that I said or did - I'm just pretty rubbish

Don't get upset tatty. The person you snapped at deosn't know you like some of us do and was shocked.
Hopefully she will come back and accept youur apology. I'm sure she knows we all have off moments.

I got really freaked out by the story of the man caught injecting food in supermarkets in Fulham and said some ridiculous and terrible things in the Real Life Crime and Murder thread in my panic.

I feel like I need to leave the forums now, and I was really enjoying posting here. So mad at myself for not being able to stop and think for a minute about what I'm feeling/saying sometimes. Worried I will get into very serious trouble because of how I react to things when I'm panicked one day.

OK ... so there is a thing you can do.
When you respond to a post that has triggered you, don't hit "post reply" box immediately. Leave it there in the reply box and go and read something warm and fluffy, google funny cat images for 10 or15 mins or read the funny memes thread or check out the telly threads . Distract yourself from the trigger post. Then go back and read the dodgy reply you typed out . Chances are you will choose to delete it, or reword it. Crisis averted.

I do that when I'm on the verge of telling someone to go duck themselves and stop being an hole. It doesn't always work, because sometimes some people need to be told they are cunts and need to go duck themselves, but yes, it helps and I often reword posts.

 

[TwooTwooTwitTwitTwoo]

Don't get upset tatty. The person you snapped at deosn't know you like some of us do and was shocked.
Hopefully she will come back and accept youur apology. I'm sure she knows we all have off moments.


OK ... so there is a thing you can do.
When you respond to a post that has triggered you, don't hit "post reply" box immediately. Leave it there in the reply box and go and read something warm and fluffy, google funny cat images for 10 or15 mins or read the funny memes thread or check out the telly threads . Distract yourself from the trigger post. Then go back and read the dodgy reply you typed out . Chances are you will choose to delete it, or reword it. Crisis averted.

I do that when I'm on the verge of telling someone to go duck themselves and stop being an hole. It doesn't always work, because sometimes some people need to be told they are cunts and need to go duck themselves, but yes, it helps and I often reword posts.

Leaving it there for a bit does definitely help most of the time. Not all of the time mind, sometimes you end up posting anyway.

I saw the post you (not the person I'm replying to)... @Damita are concerned about. Please try not to stress, it wasn't so bad. Everyone understands things can come across badly in typed words sometimes.

 

[Chita]

Also, if someone posts something that makes you upset or whatever, look at their other posts on the forum to get an overall picture of their general tone.

That helps you get a picture of that person.
We might think we don't show our true selves because we are anonymous online but we do show ourselves.
Once you've looked at a person's other posts, you can get an idea of them.

Then you can either respond, or put them on ignore, or report them or just scroll past and forget it.

 

[Rockin' Robin]

I got really freaked out by the story of the man caught injecting food in supermarkets in Fulham and said some ridiculous and terrible things in the Real Life Crime and Murder thread in my panic.

I feel like I need to leave the forums now, and I was really enjoying posting here. So mad at myself for not being able to stop and think for a minute about what I'm feeling/saying sometimes. Worried I will get into very serious trouble because of how I react to things when I'm panicked one day.

It would be a shame if you left, I enjoy reading your posts.

 

[Chita]

I got really freaked out by the story of the man caught injecting food in supermarkets in Fulham and said some ridiculous and terrible things in the Real Life Crime and Murder thread in my panic.

I feel like I need to leave the forums now, and I was really enjoying posting here. So mad at myself for not being able to stop and think for a minute about what I'm feeling/saying sometimes. Worried I will get into very serious trouble because of how I react to things when I'm panicked one day.

Don't leave altogether.
Stick around in here, at least we understand if you post something rash and we can talk it through and help calm you when you feel panicked.
This is intended as a safe place.
And if a post upsets someone in here, we can help resolve it.

 

[Nuttynana]

Don't get upset tatty. The person you snapped at deosn't know you like some of us do and was shocked.
Hopefully she will come back and accept youur apology. I'm sure she knows we all have off moments.


OK ... so there is a thing you can do.
When you respond to a post that has triggered you, don't hit "post reply" box immediately. Leave it there in the reply box and go and read something warm and fluffy, google funny cat images for 10 or15 mins or read the funny memes thread or check out the telly threads . Distract yourself from the trigger post. Then go back and read the dodgy reply you typed out . Chances are you will choose to delete it, or reword it. Crisis averted.

I do that when I'm on the verge of telling someone to go duck themselves and stop being an hole. It doesn't always work, because sometimes some people need to be told they are cunts and need to go duck themselves, but yes, it helps and I often reword posts.

Don't worry about it and don't stay off the forums, you can always go back and apologise we all say and do daft things and, like Freda said hold fire before you press the send button I have got a big gob and get a touch of Tourettes sometimes but I now try to hold back.

I can always send Ginger Tom and his pussy squad to sort things out for you

Ginger Tom ROCKS!

Ginger Tom is Mr Supercool Dude, he saves his energies for all the cunts

Sorry to just jump in
I'm at an all time low
Life is tit, work is tit, I have nothing

Not looking for any validation, it's just that I have no one else to talk to

Edit: no reply necessary, I just needed to say it out loud

Oh Kittypops you are always witty and funny just enjoy taking the piss out of the idiots until life changes, you got any hobbies or anything.

@freda19 loves Ginger Tom so much she has put her name down for the Pussy Squad retirement home and will clean out their pens and litter trays and spend time cuddling them and you could join herxxx

Does anyone really have besties?

Used to have but given them all the elbow they wanted to take more than I wanted to give so got shot of them. Acquaintances are better. ,no pressure and no obligation

 

[Chita]

Don't worry about it and don't stay off the forums, you can always go back and apologise we all say and do daft things and, like Freda said hold fire before you press the send button I have got a big gob and get a touch of Tourettes sometimes but I now try to hold back.

I can always send Ginger Tom and his pussy squad to sort things out for you



Ginger Tom is Mr Supercool Dude, he saves his energies for all the cunts



Oh Kittypops you are always witty and funny just enjoy taking the piss out of the idiots until life changes, you got any hobbies or anything.

@freda19 loves Ginger Tom so much she has put her name down for the Pussy Squad retirement home and will clean out their pens and litter trays and spend time cuddling them and you could join herxxx



Used to have but given them all the elbow they wanted to take more than I wanted to give so got shot of them. Acquaintances are better. ,no pressure and no obligation

Incoming message from ginger Tom........................

 

[Nuttynana]

Incoming message from ginger Tom........................

View attachment 733980

Really funny Chita and so much like him and if Freda doesn't show him the respect he is owed he will piss on her lettuces later and crap in her garden shoes

 

[Wilbraham]

I’ve got a problem, it involves bins, just need some advice please. Every week without fail someone is dumping one or two black bags of rubbish into my bins. They wait till the bins have been emptied (we have 1 for non recycling and 3 for recycling) the bin men come at 7am then whoever it is dumps their rubbish into my bins. I either have to take their rubbish to the tip as I need the space in my own bin or couple of times ive managed to catch the bin men and explain and they take the extra rubbish. The odd time of someone being cheeky I can let go but now it’s every week. Today I opened one of the bags because I was so enraged but it smelt of chemicals so I’ve left it. Does anyone have any ideas what I can do, it’s just a hassle every week finding black bags in my bins, having to fish them out then deal with someone else’s rubbish

I know it’s only a small thing but it’s really upsetting me

 

[Chita]

I’ve got a problem, it involves bins, just need some advice please. Every week without fail someone is dumping one or two black bags of rubbish into my bins. They wait till the bins have been emptied (we have 1 for non recycling and 3 for recycling) the bin men come at 7am then whoever it is dumps their rubbish into my bins. I either have to take their rubbish to the tip as I need the space in my own bin or couple of times ive managed to catch the bin men and explain and they take the extra rubbish. The odd time of someone being cheeky I can let go but now it’s every week. Today I opened one of the bags because I was so enraged but it smelt of chemicals so I’ve left it. Does anyone have any ideas what I can do, it’s just a hassle every week finding black bags in my bins, having to fish them out then deal with someone else’s rubbish

I know it’s only a small thing but it’s really upsetting me

Chemical smell, as in possibly something illegal? Which could explain why they dont want whatever it is in their own bin.
Hmmm.

Where do you put the bins to be collected?
Can you see the spot from a window in your home? If so, wait for the binmen to come and watch, camera at the ready to film whoever it is who is dumping it.
Video if poss.

Is it happening to any other neighbours as well? If so maybe they can also spy out and take pics when the bin day comes around.

If you catch them in the act you know who it is and you can return their rubbish bags to them. Get some aerosol paint spray their door number on the bags.

Or just take their bags out of your bin, dump them there and wheel your empty bin home - although I think you would feel anxious about leaving them, wouldnt you?
So maybe not that.