Escape into the Tea & Sympathy Support room.

[Chita]

I can do decent fruit cakes but sponges? Forget it.
Will NOT rise.

I visited a Food and crafts festival (at Hardwick Hall) a few weeks ago.
There was a cake stall with a Victoria sponge being sold by the slice.
Each of its two layers must have been 3 inches.
How the heck is that possible?
I just have to admit I am crap at sponges.

Why is Chita wittering about cake you may wonder.
I am distracting myself from serious stuff.

Dark times, Tattlers. Dark times.
Someone I love is not coping.
Covid has killed their job sector - musician at weddings, bistros, restaurants, hotel lounges.
18 months worth of gigs cancelled.
Little sign of it picking up again.
Aged 58.
Spirit has been crushed, feels all washed up and like a failure.
Got a part time job to tide over but got the sack because boss too tight to pay 8 odd pounds an hour and replaced my loved one with a teenager who cost less an hour.
That sent self confidence plummeting right down to rock bottom of that deep dark well we have all experienced.
They have been a pro muso for 40 years. No qualifications other than musical skill.
Refuses professional help. Cant find the energy or the will to get it. And gets anxiety just discussing it.
Has the classic "empty shell look" and does not want to live this life if cannot play music for a living again.

All the places that booked regularly have lost so much money during lockdown they are not having live music yet.
And at 58 they feel nobody wants them.
They took a tit job and even got sacked from that , so they feel useless.
I am trying to keep my loved one alive - but its so tough because I cant give them any hope any more.
Im pretty strong but its hard to buoy others up when I have little hope that things will pick up.
And another one who has lots of pain issues but the NHS not really helping so they are like an empty shell, too.
I try to help this loved one too but they are so low and miserable they make it hard work.

So I have two people struggling.
I just wish I had a magic wand to fix how people's low feelings cause so much pain.
I want to pull them all close and hug them better, and I try but its not working.

Could do with some sunny weather to help lift spirits but its cold out today.

Sigh.
Oh for that magic wand.


And a well risen sponge!

 

[Cassandra333]

Refuses professional help. Cant find the energy or the will to get it. And gets anxiety just discussing it.
Has the classic "empty shell look" and does not want to live this life if cannot play music for a living again.

You have to make him play music. He can listen to music and that will help but actually playing music is healing. Its all to do with the vibrations of the instrument, and loads of other stuff that I can't actually remember at the moment.
My husband is a musician and accordingly lots of our friends are too. They all agree that music is healing. It's helped them get over illnesses, bereavement, job loss, relationship loss etc etc.
So make sure that he plays stuff everyday. If he's a singer, make him sing. If he can't sing, tell him to do it anyway. There's a ton of stuff on the internet about healing through music. It's been recognised scientifically that music is a powerful healer.

I'm feeling overwhelmed with heartbreak over the situation in Afghanistan. I rarely post anything political because it just doesn't lead to anything other than abuse and pile ons these days but even though I'm trying to stay away from the news I am still seeing the most distressing headlines. Even cheap gossip sites like TMZ are covering all the harrowing detail...and in a way maybe they should because if anything needs to be exposed it is things like this, but on a personal level I just find it too upsetting and cannot deal at all. Which, in turn, makes me feel ashamed and guilty even if I can't technically do anything to help the situation other than possibly finding a charity to donate to if there are any.

I wish for the sake of mental health it was easier to avoid news headlines when one needs to. I find it galling how news is bundled with email. Sometimes just checking my messages is stressful enough. I feel so much worse when I have to see gruesome headlines or trending searches too.

There is nothing that you personally can do about Afghanistan. Absolutely nothing. Like @freda19 says,I wouldn't even give money to charity.
You don't need to feel any guilt or shame. You are not responsible and Afghanistan is not your responsibility. Being overwhelmed and heartbroken isn't going to help anyone and will only damage yourself. You have the right to stand back from it and refuse to even think about it. Your mental health is the most important thing here.
Standing back will not make you inconsiderate or lacking in compassion. You obviously are considerate and compassionate. It will just mean that you need space and time to think of good stuff. And that's ok. You have permission to do that. Sending hiugs.

 

[Damita]

Favourite 'Beatles' song? Mine is, 'I Saw her Standing There'

I really love I Wanna Hold Your Hand.

 

[Rockin' Robin]

Appoligies in advance for this negative post, and the spelling mistakes which I don't have the energy to correct right now.
I was a good sheep today.
I had an appointment at my local hospital, which had been booked quite a few months ago. I adhered to all the covid precautions - mask wearing, hand washing blah blah blah.
I spoke to a consultant, he was quite reassueing, I don't have any issue with the treatment he gave me. But thoughout the consultation, we both wore masks. He even authorised me to remove the mask at one point, so he could gage my ability to smile. (He was a nurology consultant).
He gave me "permission" to remove my mask very briefly.
Fortunately the outcome of the consultation was positive. But the experience had a deep effect on me. I went out for a long bicycle ride, but when I returned to my partner's place, I had some wine. I have not drunk excessively for years, but tonight I drank the best part of a bottle of wine, and a bottle of cider. I didn't want to stop, but my partner intervened and suggested I had a cup of tea.
I drank the tea, and poured out my feelings, I broke down and cried.
I felt like a sheep, wearing a mask in a hospital environment. I felt pressurised into wearing the mask, if I had not have worn the mask, would I have received the correct treatment?
I had some blood tests after the consultation, the social distancing in the outpatients department, boardered on the ridiculous. Normally there are rows and rows of seats, today there were chairs that were yards apart.
I think what triggered my extreme reaction, was a YouTube video about people that had been vaccinenated and were able to go about their everyday lives. I have been vaccinated, this is another story. I have posted about this on other threads on Tattle.
I am not looking for sympathy, just some understanding.

 

[freda19]

You have to make him play music. He can listen to music and that will help but actually playing music is healing. Its all to do with the vibrations of the instrument, and loads of other stuff that I can't actually remember at the moment.
My husband is a musician and accordingly lots of our friends are too. They all agree that music is healing. It's helped them get over illnesses, bereavement, job loss, relationship loss etc etc.
So make sure that he plays stuff everyday. If he's a singer, make him sing. If he can't sing, tell him to do it anyway. There's a ton of stuff on the internet about healing through music. It's been recognised scientifically that music is a powerful healer.


There is nothing that you personally can do about Afghanistan. Absolutely nothing. Like @freda19 says,I wouldn't even give money to charity.
You don't need to feel any guilt or shame. You are not responsible and Afghanistan is not your responsibility. Being overwhelmed and heartbroken isn't going to help anyone and will only damage yourself. You have the right to stand back from it and refuse to even think about it. Your mental health is the most important thing here.
Standing back will not make you inconsiderate or lacking in compassion. You obviously are considerate and compassionate. It will just mean that you need space and time to think of good stuff. And that's ok. You have permission to do that. Sending hiugs.

Such a good post. Yes Chita, tell him to keep making music. He should video himself and put it online, or offer to sing old favourites as birthday surprises for people for a small fee.. Though he'd have to keep records of moneys paid to him. Bless him, I hope something comes up for him.


True re Afghanistan. Too late . Everyone took their eye off the ball and quite frankly that bleep Biden can take his reassurances and "NO, Kabul will not fall!" and shove it where the monkey shoved it's nuts. Stupid bleep said "NO, it won't be like Vietnam, with the helicopters on the roof evacuating people at the last hour".
No, ya mad bastard ... it's even worse with actual planes being over run at the last minute. Shut the duck up and go take another nap.

Sorry for the rant. Those poor people women and children.

Appoligies in advance for this negative post, and the spelling mistakes which I don't have the energy to correct right now.
I was a good sheep today.
I had an appointment at my local hospital, which had been booked quite a few months ago. I adhered to all the covid precautions - mask wearing, hand washing blah blah blah.
I spoke to a consultant, he was quite reassueing, I don't have any issue with the treatment he gave me. But thoughout the consultation, we both wore masks. He even authorised me to remove the mask at one point, so he could gage my ability to smile. (He was a nurology consultant).
He gave me "permission" to remove my mask very briefly.
Fortunately the outcome of the consultation was positive. But the experience had a deep effect on me. I went out for a long bicycle ride, but when I returned to my partner's place, I had some wine. I have not drunk excessively for years, but tonight I drank the best part of a bottle of wine, and a bottle of cider. I didn't want to stop, but my partner intervened and suggested I had a cup of tea.
I drank the tea, and poured out my feelings, I broke down and cried.
I felt like a sheep, wearing a mask in a hospital environment. I felt pressurised into wearing the mask, if I had not have worn the mask, would I have received the correct treatment?
I had some blood tests after the consultation, the social distancing in the outpatients department, boardered on the ridiculous. Normally there are rows and rows of seats, today there were chairs that were yards apart.
I think what triggered my extreme reaction, was a YouTube video about people that had been vaccinenated and were able to go about their everyday lives. I have been vaccinated, this is another story. I have posted about this on other threads on Tattle.
I am not looking for sympathy, just understanding.

Appoligies in advance, for this negative post and the spelling mistakes which I don't have the energy to correct right now.
I was a good sheep today.
I had an appointment at my local hospital, which had been booked quite a few months ago. I adhered to all the covid precautions - mask wearing, hand washing blah blah blah.
I spoke to a consultant, he was quite reassueing, I don't have any issue with the treatment he gave me. But thoughout the consultation, we both wore masks. He even authorised me to remove the mask at one point, so he could gage my ability to smile (he was a nurology consultant)
He gave me "permission" to remove my mask very briefly.
Fortunately the outcome of the consultation was positive. But the experience had a deep effect on me. I went out for a long bicycle ride, but when I returned to my partner's place, I had some wine. I have not drunk excessively for years, but tonight I drank the best part of a bottle of wine, and a bottle of cider. I didn't want to stop, but my partner intervened and suggested I had a cup of tea.
I drank the tea, and poured out my feelings, I broke down and cried.
I felt like a sheep, wearing a mask in a hospital environment. I felt pressurised into wearing the mask, if I had not have worn the mask, would I have received the correct treatment? I had some blood tests after the consultation, the social distancing in the outpatients department, boardered on the ridiculous. Normally there are rows and rows of seats, today there were chairs that were yards apart.
I think what triggered my extreme reaction, was a YouTube video about people that had been vaccinenated and were able to go about their everyday lives. I have been vaccinated, this is another story. I have posted about this on other threads on Tattle.
I am not looking for sympathy, just understanding.

It's very difficult dealing with medical stuff at the moment. To be brutally honest I think some surgeries are enjoying the opportunity to have less appointments to deal with. My surgery has been good and I got a pre-appointment phone chat with my doc a few weeks ago which resulted in a 121 appointment with him next day, so I'm lucky and I shouldn't complain, but I've seen other people going frantic trying to get appointments. It's undoubtedly making people frustrated. And now we'll have 'follow-up jabs' to contend with. Ain't life grand at the moment.
My issue was a long term rash which (as I suspected) is psoriasis. Happy bleeping days.

 

[Chita]

Such a good post. Yes Chita, tell him to keep making music. He should video himself and put it online, or offer to sing old favourites as birthday surprises for people for a small fee.. Though he'd have to keep records of moneys paid to him. Bless him, I hope something comes up for him.


True re Afghanistan. Too late . Everyone took their eye off the ball and quite frankly that bleep Biden can take his reassurances and "NO, Kabul will not fall!" and shove it where the monkey shoved it's nuts. Stupid bleep said "NO, it won't be like Vietnam, with the helicopters on the roof evacuating people at the last hour".
No, ya mad bastard ... it's even worse with actual planes being over run at the last minute. Shut the duck up and go take another nap.

Sorry for the rant. Those poor people women and children.


It's very difficult dealing with medical stuff at the moment. To be brutally honest I think some surgeries are enjoying the opportunity to have less appointments to deal with. My surgery has been good and I got a pre-appointment phone chat with my doc a few weeks ago which resulted in a 121 appointment with him next day, so I'm lucky and I shouldn't complain, but I've seen other people going frantic trying to get appointments. It's undoubtedly making people frustrated. And now we'll have 'follow-up jabs' to contend with. Ain't life grand at the moment.
My issue was a long term rash which (as I suspected) is psoriasis. Happy bleeping days.

Bit in Bold - and don't forget Professor Next Slide Please will be inventing the Chipping Sodbury variant or some such thing soon to frighten all of those people who have just plucked up the courage to venture outside without a mask again.

 

[Tattyfilarious]

Hey Chita - I don't have a magic wand unfortunately; depression is a terrible illness and affects everyone around you; your loved one is very blessed to have you x

 

[Chita]

Hey Chita - I don't have a magic wand unfortunately; depression is a terrible illness and affects everyone around you; your loved one is very blessed to have you x

Thanks, Tatty and to everyone else who replied and advised.

I keep plodding on trying to keep them buoyed up.

 

[Tattyfilarious]

I'm not qualified to say this, but I did suffer from acute depression many years ago; it wasn't pretty or dignified, and wasn't a nice place to be - especially for my husband and kids; I was an absolute nightmare, my husband came close to divorcing me.
Anyway, I had a relatively short course of anti-depressants (10-months) prescribed by a very intuitive doctor. It worked for me - these days I get saddened about horrible things in life, but I'm never going into that black hole again xxx

I've been there

 

[Chita]

Appoligies in advance for this negative post, and the spelling mistakes which I don't have the energy to correct right now.
I was a good sheep today.
I had an appointment at my local hospital, which had been booked quite a few months ago. I adhered to all the covid precautions - mask wearing, hand washing blah blah blah.
I spoke to a consultant, he was quite reassueing, I don't have any issue with the treatment he gave me. But thoughout the consultation, we both wore masks. He even authorised me to remove the mask at one point, so he could gage my ability to smile. (He was a nurology consultant).
He gave me "permission" to remove my mask very briefly.
Fortunately the outcome of the consultation was positive. But the experience had a deep effect on me. I went out for a long bicycle ride, but when I returned to my partner's place, I had some wine. I have not drunk excessively for years, but tonight I drank the best part of a bottle of wine, and a bottle of cider. I didn't want to stop, but my partner intervened and suggested I had a cup of tea.
I drank the tea, and poured out my feelings, I broke down and cried.
I felt like a sheep, wearing a mask in a hospital environment. I felt pressurised into wearing the mask, if I had not have worn the mask, would I have received the correct treatment?
I had some blood tests after the consultation, the social distancing in the outpatients department, boardered on the ridiculous. Normally there are rows and rows of seats, today there were chairs that were yards apart.
I think what triggered my extreme reaction, was a YouTube video about people that had been vaccinenated and were able to go about their everyday lives. I have been vaccinated, this is another story. I have posted about this on other threads on Tattle.
I am not looking for sympathy, just some understanding.

Totally understand how you felt.
But you got through it. You handled the pressure, and crying later was just you letting out that pressure. letting off steam.
Don't beat yourself up, it's a natural reaction to the crazy restrictions we are all having to endure.

You did well.
You are allowed to react how you did.

 

[50sGirl]

Morning All,
Hugs to all those who need one.
I was just wondering if anyone has ever tried Reiki?
I’m considering giving it a try but I’m concerned I’ll end up a blubbering mess by the end of the session!
Would love to know any personal experiences if you’re happy to share.
Thank you.
Hope you all have a good day xx

 

[Rockin' Robin]

Totally understand how you felt.
But you got through it. You handled the pressure, and crying later was just you letting out that pressure. letting off steam.
Don't beat yourself up, it's a natural reaction to the crazy restrictions we are all having to endure.

You did well.
You are allowed to react how you did.

Thank you for this. Thanks also, to Freda 19.

 

[Chita]

Morning All,
Hugs to all those who need one.
I was just wondering if anyone has ever tried Reiki?
I’m considering giving it a try but I’m concerned I’ll end up a blubbering mess by the end of the session!
Would love to know any personal experiences if you’re happy to share.
Thank you.
Hope you all have a good day xx

Yes.
Depends on the practitioner.
I went to two who were useless.
Then one who was amazing.
I also have had myofascial release treatment and acupuncture.
Like anything there are some who just own a certificate saying theyve done the training and there are others who actually have the skill.

I can tell more about the reiki experience etc if people are interested.

 

[ProfessorColdheart]

Morning All,
Hugs to all those who need one.
I was just wondering if anyone has ever tried Reiki?
I’m considering giving it a try but I’m concerned I’ll end up a blubbering mess by the end of the session!
Would love to know any personal experiences if you’re happy to share.
Thank you.
Hope you all have a good day xx

Hey 50sGirl. My real life is really interfering with my tattling at the moment but I just popped in and saw your post. I've had Reiki a couple of times. I found it really helpful. The first time I had a taster of about ten minutes. I was fine in the room but the next few days I had an intense sadness which was a bit hard to deal with but it subsided and I felt lighter for it. I had a lot of past trauma stuff to deal with and this was a few years ago when I was in a worse place with it all so I wouldn't think that was a standard reaction.

I then plucked up the courage to go again a couple of times and it was a wonderful experience. I felt really peaceful afterwards. I also got great feedback from the practitioner. One time I'd been having a lot of digestive problems which I didn't mention, I barely spoke, but she knew about it. Another time she gave me some advice which I really needed.

I have no idea how it works and my brain is sceptical but I think it does and its a soul/feeling thing that brains aren't meant to work out. I'd like to go again sometime soon.

x

 

[Cassandra333]

Anyone need a hug? I have lots to give

The highlight of my day today is that we're having beef burgers for tea and I'm trying out a Big Mac Sauce dupe. How exciting and interesting my day is

The downside of my day today is that two of our trees have to be taken down. Both are becoming dangerous so they have to go.

 

[thegirlscout]

I’ve realised my anxiety is more prevalent than I thought. I have found myself getting anxious about the nights getting darker and it’s now pitch black at 9pm when it used to still be light around 10pm a few weeks back. I’m not a big summer lover as I struggle with the heat. But I do love the lighter days and nights. But I find the darkness drawing in a bit suffocating?
Sorry if this doesn’t make any sense, I have trouble putting into words how I feel. Can anyone else relate? What do you do to tackle this?

 

[Underhiseye]

A few confessions because I just need to say it..

I’m addicted to codine.

I have been making myself sick after eating for months.. but won’t go to the dr cause I’m overweight and I think they’ll think im lying because I’d be smaller if I was being sick

I feel worthless as I do every august as I have to take part in multiple family situations where I feel like I don’t belong, but that’s a much longer story.

Need to go back to therapy but im scared and also mad that it costs so much.

 

[freda19]

I’ve realised my anxiety is more prevalent than I thought. I have found myself getting anxious about the nights getting darker and it’s now pitch black at 9pm when it used to still be light around 10pm a few weeks back. I’m not a big summer lover as I struggle with the heat. But I do love the lighter days and nights. But I find the darkness drawing in a bit suffocating?
Sorry if this doesn’t make any sense, I have trouble putting into words how I feel. Can anyone else relate? What do you do to tackle this?

I think I know what you mean. Drawing the curtains and blinds is like saying goodbye to the day and the sun. I suppose some people might like that, tucked in for the night. But lots of people find it a bit of a bummer.
I know your issue sounds more to do with reaction, but I wonder if using a SAD box might help you in winter nights? Maybe lift your mood.

 

[Tattyfilarious]

I’ve realised my anxiety is more prevalent than I thought. I have found myself getting anxious about the nights getting darker and it’s now pitch black at 9pm when it used to still be light around 10pm a few weeks back. I’m not a big summer lover as I struggle with the heat. But I do love the lighter days and nights. But I find the darkness drawing in a bit suffocating?
Sorry if this doesn’t make any sense, I have trouble putting into words how I feel. Can anyone else relate? What do you do to tackle this?

I love the dark nights - I can close my blinds and curtains and get on with my life, with no-one watching (I have a watcher!).

 

[shazbev]

A few confessions because I just need to say it..

I’m addicted to codine.

I have been making myself sick after eating for months.. but won’t go to the dr cause I’m overweight and I think they’ll think im lying because I’d be smaller if I was being sick

I feel worthless as I do every august as I have to take part in multiple family situations where I feel like I don’t belong, but that’s a much longer story.

Need to go back to therapy but im scared and also mad that it costs so much.

Don't beat yourself up , I've been on codeine and amitriptyline for 6 months and it's seriously fucked up my digestive system. I am morbidly obese and have lost 2 stone thru poor or non existent appetite...I was told last week my GP will speak to me 2nd September no appointments till then. I so feel your pain , I can't give you much practical advice except maybe try your GP again. You may have a while to be seen but this gives you time to write down your issues to be discussed or maybe get a friend who can be your advocate and support you if you feel speaking to your GP is too difficult. Good luck and stay on here for support and virtual hugs .