Escape into the Tea & Sympathy Support room.

[Chita]

Omg, coming back to this thread tonight has really cheered me up!
@Nuttynana - honestly, you should have your own Agony Aunt column! No nonsense, practical and sweary advice - just what we all need

Yep, decided to try and lose some weight - thanks for the motivation everyone. I did lose 3 stone before when I did SW but then I had a bit of an anxious period in my life and put it all on again. Decided to try and lose 1 stone in 2 months this time - I think that's do-able!

I bought some Slimfast bars once.
They were so nice I scoffed the whole box in a weekend.
Im crap.

Thats why Im telling myself I need to go to WW. I went there once before [years ago] and lost weight and the physical attending of a meeting with other people there tends to work better for me motivation-wise.

But it takes me ages to actually go. Once ive overcome the hurdle and done it, I can usually keep it up - but this lockdown situation has really knocked the stuffing out of me and Im struggling to find that inner strength that has gotten me through so much in the past.

The inner strength is still there is just hidden a bit deeper than usual.

Thank you Chita for creating this soothing thread. Thought I'd slide in and join you lovely folk. Having shielded through all the lockdowns, and deciding to retire early from a job I loved, I find myself a bit paranoid and reluctant to get out and about. I have a chronic condition which deteriorated over lockdown and am now only able to get out and about with a mobile scooter and only when necessary and I've built up the courage to venture out. One thing that's been a godsend is my kindle and I've recently joined a lovely choir ( I can't really sing but they didn't seem to mind ) . Tattle has been a lifesaver too, some of you articulate Tattlers have really cheered me up. Thank you for listening to my Ted talk .

Singing feeds the soul.
Good for you.

So glad to have found this thread! Seems like a lovely place already! thanks Chita!

Like a lot of people, I've been struggling with my mental health the past few months...I'm a nurse and being on the "frontline" has been so tough at times!
I've also recently had a miscarriage and things are just feeling a bit hard just now!
Trying hard to stay positive and look forward!!
...god, sorry...that's a bit of a heavy post

You aint heavy, you our sis-tah!!!!!




I am just pleased people are able to talk about their mental health issues.
Talking IS therapy.
And just chatting - even if its about any old crap - helps us so much to get out from the bottom of that deep, dark well.

 

[Damita]

About to move into my third week of dealing with one of the worst bouts of insomnia I've ever had, which is so bad I'm considering ringing my GP surgery and begging for some diazepam, which has helped a bit in the past when I've been like this.

It's all been triggered by having to attend an extremely important, high pressured family function. I got through the day itself okay but the aftermath in particular has been horrendous for my mental health. The main issue is the cluster of relatives who are raving narcissists and being forced to be in close contact with them for any length of time is really, really harmful. Going "no contact" is not an option and won't be for the foreseeable future, and I can't afford therapy anymore which did help when I was able to pay for it during a short time. Not even bothering with NHS mental health treatment these days since I've been there, done that enough times to know it's useless...they really need to accept that CBT does not work for every condition.

Insomnia is one of those things where I forget how horrific it is until another flare-up. I know I'll eventually recover and go back to sleeping better at some stage but in the meantime, argh!

 

[Damita]

I'm tentatively posting again. Took a short break, and am being very careful about what threads I restrict myself to for now but I like this place and hope people will forgive me for my outburst. I still feel really bad about it but I'm using it as a useful reminder to avoid posting when I'm panicked and to consume less news from certain right-wing shit stirring press websites, and less news in general.

God, it's fucking grim out there at the moment isn't it?

 

[Tattyfilarious]

I mentioned 'comfort boxes' earlier in the thread. I thought it might be nice to name films/music/books that would be good to keep. Not necessarily in a box, it could be a file on a computer. All ideas welcomed. What provides comfort for me, might not provide comfort for you so this is just an idea to suggest stuff that other people might not have thought of.
Films:
The Inn of the Sixth Happiness - always makes me cry in a good way.
Spinal Tap - never fail to laugh and I must have seen it a thousand times.
Pride and Prejudice - The Colin Firth version (TV show not film)
Arsenic and Old Lace - my favourite film of all time. Love Cary Grant.

Books:
Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
Frederica by Georgette Heyer
Daddy Long Legs by Jean Webster.
(Yes, I know they're all Romances, sue me)

Music
Tapestry by Carole King - always makes me think of my beloved sister (RIP)
Diamond Dogs - David Bowie
Actually most of David Bowie

I'm going to stop here because I'm a bit brain dead today so the idea's aren't flowing like they should. But you get the general idea.

Rebel Rebel, Golden years x

This one's my fake Maine Coon cat, she has her snow shoe pads but she's tiny!

Take care of yourselves, please - enjoy the simple pleasures in life that make you feel happy, even if it's just a walk in a park - you will hopefully encounter people like me

 

[Chita]

I'm just fed up of how my life has ended up. I imagined so much more for myself but I've got the opposite and there isn't much I can do about it.
I'm insanely jealous of those my age who are living the life I wanted for myself but will never have because I have been robbed of all sorts in my life.
I'm just existing rather than living life and enjoying it.

Edited to add that seeing these influences who do fuck all but get paid the big bucks is really bringing me down. I'd love to be able to do that just for a short time until I had enough to buy a house out right and have enough to live comfortably for the rest of my life. I hate the way of the world sometimes, it's honestly so unfair.

Have you ever had a go at reading books such as "excuse me, your life is waiting" by lynne Grabhorn or "7 laws of spiritual success" by deepak chopra or "you can heal your life" by Louise Hay?
Theres also a really old book that those and other similar books copied - "as a man thinketh" by james allen.

Honestly, these books do help when you feel like that.
I just bought the Louise Hay one as a gift for a loved one.
They have been so very low for a few years now. They have been angry and jealous of other peoples (perceived) success.
Since they started the book they keep telling me how helpful they have found it and that they are going to try to change their mindset.
2nd hand or new copies all available on amazon.

 

[shazbev]

I feel like you should bling your scooter up

Oh don't worry plans are afoot...it's purple for starters ...any suggestions are welcome .

 

[Wightgirl]

It was called a Tuppence when I was little.

It was called a Mary in our house. I’ve never heard it called that since

 

[kittenattack]

9.30am.

And thanks

I hope your results were good and that you're feeling okay

 

[Chablis1]

Hello lovelies. Thank you @Chita for this sparkling new thread. Good to have somewhere to let off steam a bit - all without a mention of the Dreadful Duo

 

[freda19]

I can't bear the thought that I might have upset someone, through something that I said or did - I'm just pretty rubbish

Don't get upset tatty. The person you snapped at deosn't know you like some of us do and was shocked.
Hopefully she will come back and accept youur apology. I'm sure she knows we all have off moments.

I got really freaked out by the story of the man caught injecting food in supermarkets in Fulham and said some ridiculous and terrible things in the Real Life Crime and Murder thread in my panic.

I feel like I need to leave the forums now, and I was really enjoying posting here. So mad at myself for not being able to stop and think for a minute about what I'm feeling/saying sometimes. Worried I will get into very serious trouble because of how I react to things when I'm panicked one day.

OK ... so there is a thing you can do.
When you respond to a post that has triggered you, don't hit "post reply" box immediately. Leave it there in the reply box and go and read something warm and fluffy, google funny cat images for 10 or15 mins or read the funny memes thread or check out the telly threads . Distract yourself from the trigger post. Then go back and read the dodgy reply you typed out . Chances are you will choose to delete it, or reword it. Crisis averted.

I do that when I'm on the verge of telling someone to go fuck themselves and stop being an arsehole. It doesn't always work, because sometimes some people need to be told they are cunts and need to go fuck themselves, but yes, it helps and I often reword posts.

 

[Cassandra333]

Hi everyone. I managed to get over the stuff that triggered me but it took longer than I thought. I was expecting it to last a day but it went on for a week. I did get out of it though, so that's good.
I want to make a couple of points which are not aimed at anyone in particular. The first is that your family and friends are not your therapists. It took me years to learn this lesson. You cannot expect people who haven't trained as counsellors or therapists to play that role in your life. It isn't fair. And I know people just want to let off steam but you need to find a different forum to do that. Somewhere like here, or a mental health forum. The joy of the internet is that there are lots of places to go and you can stay anonymous.
Equally, you are not a counsellor or therapist for your friends and family. Don't allow people to use you in this way. Suggest that they may need more help than you can give them. You have your own problems, you don't need to take on theirs. It's not just okay to put yourself first, it's also highly recommended.
I've got more to say but I'd be here all day so I'm going to finish with this poem. This is the poem I turn to whenever I get down. It speaks to me and maybe it will speak to you too. It's very long so I'm putting it behind a spoiler. It's called 'Desiderata' by Max Ehrmann. It's an excellent guide to managing life.

Spoiler: Desiderata

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrmann, Desiderata, Copyright 1952.

 

[Chita]

@spangly @shazbev @Damita @Rockin' Robin
@Facehugger
I think I've managed to tag all of you who posted since I was last in here. If ive missed anyone please forgive me 'cos im doing this on my phone and its not as easy for me to navigate as when on my laptop.
You all deserve medals for putting up with all the shyte life is throwing at you.

Your strength of character is amazing.
You take the kicks and you get right back up again.
I dont think any of you realise just how strong you are.
You are all an inspiration.

Oh and thankyou for the baby goat video.
Cant beat a nice goat.

And I love all the corgi pics, especially that last one.

 

[kittenattack]

Please forgive me if I can't read all the posts here, because I have to try and keep up

 

[Rockin' Robin]

I've just finished an 8 hour shift at the place I work, and it was hard work. One of the staff passed by me, as I finished my shift. Not a word of thanks or even goodbye, these words are so important to hear. Would it kill them to say thanks or goodbye?
I have had a lot of difficulties at my place of work from the beginning, some of it is down to my long term unemployment prior to working there, I have never really gelled with anyone at my place of work, but my behaviour hasn't helped the situation - please don't ask me to go into it right now. I'm too pissed off.

 

[Damita]

Got the jab in the end, mainly because when I was there the lady reassuring me was really good about my anxiety and it calmed me down so much. So far so good. Barely felt the needle go in.

Fingers crossed no more drama!

 

[Chita]

Have you got one for the Montishitto morons

Yes. well, one of 'em anyway.

I need to come and rant I hope it's okay it was my late partners birthday yesterday and it felt like no one in the uk apart from me cared. The kids were quick enough in chatting all day about their friends and whatnot but i was ignored (nothing new) I was crying and then got moaned at for crying it was as if the saying out of sight out of mind literally came to life. Today my anxiety is through the roof and ive got no company and no one here is available to talk but yet i can rely on my friends in different countries.
my beautiful friends they each got a flower and laid it down in a place that's special to them and said happy birthday to my partner which made me so thankful and grateful for them because they only said hi to him over skype but yet people here i mean his own family can't even be bothered to remember

So sorry you got moaned at for crying. That was unkind of your family.
But how lovely of your friends to each lay a flower.
That's a nice thing for them to do.

It's funny though isn't it, we always dwell on the one bad thing that happens even if several nice things have also happened at the same time.
You can't change the situation but you can change how you think about it, so try and focus on the lovely friends and their flower laying ceremonies.
Treasure those friends.

 

[50sGirl]

Just waiting to die really. Shouldn't have even been born I think. Just a waste of space and deserve nothing in life.

I'm a very kind caring and loving person but been destroyed mentally on the inside.
I smile laugh and help others.
I feel I'm a waste of a life.

Like others have mentioned on this thread about having cancer and the poor people in Kabul. I'd gladly give you's my life.

I'm exhausted all the time from very little. So that makes me feel even more useless.
Even doing the littlest thing is exhausting for me. Haven't showered in a few days can't be bothered, just the thought of the effort of washing myself is tiring.

I have been keeping myself clean and I don't smell, just not fully showering.

I always just smile and then cry sometimes when I'm alone

Sweetgirl, I can’t really add to the great advice you’ve already been given on here but all I can say is that I’ve been in that very dark place twice in my life and I’m so thankful I never acted on it.

You are not a waste of space. You said yourself that you help others so that shows me that you ARE needed and you have a good heart.

If you don’t feel like or don’t have the energy to wash then don’t worry about it.
It’s a classic sign of depression as are the other things you’ve written. Many years ago I could have written your post pretty much word for word.

Try and see another doctor if possible and don’t worry if you burst into tears because the chances are that you will.
I recall booking an appointment to see mine and Sod’s law on the day of the appointment I was having a “good day” so I thought she’d think I was wasting her time. I went into her room and as soon as she asked how she could help me I promptly burst into tears and sobbed “and I’m having a good day today!”
They know the signs so please don’t let one bad experience put you off.

Sometimes it’s easier to talk anonymously on a forum than it is in real life so talk away.
I’ve spoken about my earlier mental health problems on another thread. Tattlers know things that I’ve never told my nearest and dearest.

Hark at me - I started this post with I’ve nothing much to add!

You’ve taken the first step by posting on here how you are feeling. The first step is always the hardest so well done for having that courage. You did it. You are not alone xx

 

[Damita]

I'm not ready to join in yet so I'm quite enjoying being in the background reading all your posts.
I'm feeling a bit scared and teary tonight. I don't want to open up because I will open the floodgates. I hope I sleep better tonight .

Hope you are feeling better in the daylight.

I get nights where my anxiety gets so bad it is very frightening. I think what a lot of people don't realise is that the physical affects of anxiety can be brutal and traumatic to go through. I've always said I think the actual medical condition of anxiety needs re-naming because it sounds too trivial, most people will think it just means you get a bit nervous like everyone does.

 

[freda19]

thank you. That kindness was so very much what I needed today. I’ve stuck a note on my mirror with my goal for today, and put on a nice blouse for work. Thank you.

Well done! Remember, your meds are working on your brain but you need to do your bit physically as well, with just a wee nudge here and a bit of a push there. There will be days and even weeks when you just can't, but remember the little buzz you got putting the note on the mirror and get back on the horse. It's a hard row to hoe and will take time.

 

[mrsshim62]

Thank you for this! I’m feeling a lil bit sorry for maself!! Been to drs today and was told I have a ruptured tendon in my shoulder. She was so lovely and I got great painkillers but apparently I’ll just have to keep it until it goes away