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I actually nearly cried reading this. What a horrible bleeping person she is
Poor Lulu, it’s so sad. Erin doesn’t consider what Lulu has missed out on, because she thinks Lulu doesn’t know what she’s missing, so it doesn’t matter. It’s like someone who has a parent with severe dementia who doesn’t remember you, you could just never visit them and they wouldn’t know, but if you love your parent, you visit anyway, because even if they don’t know it, you want them to feel love. It’s all about Erin and how this affects her, she isn’t capable of seeing how it affects anyone else. I can sort of understand why some people write supportive comments, no one can truly know how they would feel in this situation, but surely there’s a limit to the support she receives when her actions are so detrimental to Lulu’s life. Lulu should be the priority.
This is so awful that I don’t even have words.
I’ve always had huge empathy and compassion towards Erin and for a long time I really felt that I couldn’t judge her for the way she expresses her grief for Lulu. But reading that, it really brings home how much the grief she is expressing is not for Lulu herself but for Erin and what she feels has been denied to her as a mother because of epilepsy.
It is not okay to put it out there publicly that you’ve never known the love of motherhood before when you already have a child - a beautiful, deserving child who is disabled through no fault of her own. It is one thing to feel grateful that you’ve had a better postpartum experience than your first. It sounds like Erin had PND with Lulu even prior to her epilepsy diagnosis. Many, many mums have a difficult time with the reality of a newborn, especially in our society that does not adequately support new parents or uphold realistic expectations around infant behaviour. So many women have birth trauma, and it’s real. Erin isn’t at fault if she struggled in her first postpartum. But she IS at fault if she refuses to get help for it because it is obviously still affecting her. She also needs to recognise that as awful as Lulu’s epilepsy is, even with a typically developing child, she may have not had a great postpartum. She seems to think parents of typical children have only good experiences. I don’t pretend to know what it’s like to be in her shoes, but all of us, if we are to be good parents, have to accept the children we have and their struggles. We don’t have to like the struggles, but we have to be able to see our children as worthy regardless. It feels like Erin can’t see the daughter she has, only the daughter she “should” have.
I had quite bad postnatal anxiety with my first, who had feeding difficulties and question marks over his health, and who was born while I was living isolated overseas while my father fought terminal cancer. I am not proud of the way I felt at certain points in his first 12 months or so. My anxiety made me feel like a bad mother and I questioned whether I should have become one. It was awful. And I am grateful that my second postpartum experience has been easier, even with some of the same struggles, because I was much more relaxed and confident with more realistic expectations. But I cannot even fathom saying what Erin has. My first made me a mother and taught me that I can endure even when it feels impossible — he is the one who showed me the scale of love a mother can feel. Erin really, really needs better therapy so that she can connect with Lu.
Agree with this. I actually think she probably still has PPD and it’s manifesting in her not being able to bond with Luella. She can’t seem to see that the way she feels about Luella is not normal, even with her having epilepsy.
I wouldn’t have had an issue with this part of her post if she’d followed it up by saying “if only I had done the same with Lu”. Isn’t that the more normal way to think? Lots of mums are more relaxed with their second babies and end up contact napping etc after being strict with their first babies because they think they are supposed to follow all the sleep training rules, but usually those mums end up feeling sad that they didn’t do the same with their first babies. I did contact nap and cosleep with my first but I know I regret that I got stressed out that I was doing the “wrong thing”. Erin seems to be more saying that she missed out on all that with Lulu because of Lulu.
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Like everyone else I’m just speechless. To say she hasn’t known unconditional love or enjoyed motherhood in all those years with that precious girl. She honestly just thinks she’s the only person who has ever had a tough situation and everyone else has a perfect instagrammable fairytale.
I can’t wrap my head around the positive comments, especially from mylifeoflove - this has made me lose so much respect for her.
I can’t wrap my head around the positive comments, especially from mylifeoflove - this has made me lose so much respect for her.
But she’s responded to a comment saying everyone is misinterpreting what she’s said
No, she blocks. I’m blocked. Another woman commented how shocked she was that everyone else in the comments was supportive and enabling Erin on a particularly egregious post of hers and I replied simply “it’s shocking” and got blocked for it. She has a hair trigger for any scrutiny at all. She’s deeply disturbed.
I also suspect that Erin will put Lulu into full time care in a couple years time. She will say it is not fair on Tom (and any future perfect babies) to keep having their days "ruined".I had to have a break from Erin because I found myself really sad for Lulu. I only saw her latest post from another tattle thread so naturally I had to read it on Erins page. What the actual duck is with the supportive comments ??? How can anyone read that & be like “ yass same “
Erin lives in fantasy land, does she think us other parents are just frolicking around the house naked skipping with our babies singing songs. She needs to pull her head out of her ass because these days are going to be easy compared to the days ahead of her if Lulu doesn’t get surgery but tbh I wouldn’t be surprised if she put Lulu in care when she’s no longer a toddler.
Erin needs EXTREME help..Lulu probably considers Chrystal her main care giver and ny heart breaks for when Chrystal no longer works with the family Lulu will be heart broken
100% for sure.
Oh absolutely as soon as she old enough to be palmed off full time she will be. Let’s all just hope she gets psychological treatment before that point.
Yep places like Allowah.
Saw Lu is at NAPA with just Chrystal again. Its so sad.
“That’s what uncontrolled epilepsy does to the brain”
says the woman who took her off meds against recommendations and is refusing her surgery..
says the woman who took her off meds against recommendations and is refusing her surgery..
Of course she’s happy with Chrystal today while you swan out for lunch with the favourite. She probably thinks Chrystal is her mum. Poor kid will be heartbroken when the funds dry up
So dads having a break? And mum is taking the baby to lunch. While they both palm off their precious daughter to someone else. I feel so terribly sad for Lu that she is never included in things her mum does.
Tommy is definitely a replacement perfect child. What kind of psychological damage is going to happen to him throughout his childhood.
Poor Lu, I’m so sorry you are treated this way.
Tommy is definitely a replacement perfect child. What kind of psychological damage is going to happen to him throughout his childhood.
Poor Lu, I’m so sorry you are treated this way.
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Hopefully they aren’t using their carer for unpaid labour. The way she’s worded that post seems like it might be 🫤 Very, very generously minding her.
It’s gonna be a world of pain when she moves on. She’s a paid employee. This whole “this person is like family” is so dangerous.
She must. It wouldn’t surprise me if she offered to take Lulu unpaid today. It must be so hard not to be able to swoop in and give that little girl everything she’s missing.
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