EmmyLou Loves #89 The return of Hoochylou, mumma's hips don't lie but her scales sure do

[Hereforthecheezels]

Eew doesn’t look so good to me anymore, I hate celery!!

 

[Oops I did it again]

Emmylou needs to stop buying air Jordan shoes, they don’t suit her short little legs, but it’s a wonder she hasn’t got on the Golden Goose bandwagon, do any Tattlers have them??

she thinks she's being 'cool' with the Jordans - she looks like a fool.

I bought som GG's years ago (like 5 years ago). Haven't worn them for at least 3 years....

 

[balibananabogam]

Hah

Joel Selwood

Lol you do know how much Joel would be on a year? Not to mention Britt. I’ve been in shops with them before at the same time and both were super lovely and natural to all the staff.

 

[villanellebaby]

Emmylou needs to stop buying air Jordan shoes, they don’t suit her short little legs, but it’s a wonder she hasn’t got on the Golden Goose bandwagon, do any Tattlers have them??

I do - I love them but that are stupidly expensive. They’re a great statement shoe you can pair with a casual outfit to dress up or tone down a more formal one. They wouldn’t suit her as they won’t give her the height she’s looking for

 

[balibananabogam]

this is exactly what I said in a previous thread! She always says stuff is so popular (like those Kate shirts ) and yet here you are trying to order 5pieces and you can’t! She’s such a fucking liar!

Omg thank you!! I no wonder they are nearly sold out as soon as they come out!!

 

[MeowbahCanGoRot]

I did chuckle to myself as I slapped the lettuce, cucumber, cheese, tzatziki dip 🥱 and sliced steak in the centre of the wrap and thought, oh shit I should’ve attempt that stupid tik tok thing... Then I punched myself in the face for allowing that thought to even enter my mind and ran straight over here to confess my sins to my fellow fezzas

You did the right thing I said a prayer for you at school mass this morning

 

[TrainwreckinTulla]

Place your bets fezzas...what do we think Thursday's announcement is?

 

[Butt3rfly]

I'm surprised she didn't wear a power suit and glasses to look more sophisticated and smarter.....................................................

TBH she'd still be a dumb cunt.

 

[mariah cachia]

Has she made her big boring announcement yet?

Thursday AM apparently

 

[MeowbahCanGoRot]

It looks like a crime. It’s a crime. It’s criminal

 

[Butt3rfly]

C’mon Fezzas, we all know that EL wilL never unpack her cases from her dicke chasing USA adventure. She is waiting for the same gang who packed her to unpack and wash for her. Duh! As if Hoochylou has time for something so inattention seeking as unpacking her very fancy groovy pink DNKY.

The girls have come to unpack the cases
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Good to see her communidy rushing to support her

But her fuckwit minions will end up donated

 

[Butt3rfly]

Mumma she ready…illiterate grub! The outfit is not beautiful unless she is planning to sweep the floors. Those pants are certainly not culottes as the drape the floor. She has an incredible strange idea of what a “confident, beautiful, strong” outfit looks like.

Those pants are going to be satched with filth by the time she gets into HQ.

 

[Fangit]

Ha ha ha ha one of the other guests is an etiquette coach ha ha ha ha

Yes I laughed too when I heard that. I'd say the f word wasn't even mentioned while she was in the studio. Maybe there spruking her to be a permanent presenter to try and up the ratings.

 

[haitchie]

Came here to say the same thing

OMG dumb as dog shit !
This laugh will keep me going today.

 

[Fangit]

Thanks for stopping mid-coddling and creating the new thread @Michy02

Now for a Recrap of Thread #88
My Mum went on a dicke chasing trip to Vegas and all I got was this shitty tshirt.


Location: Loose Vagus USofA
We put our Krusty Kinis, Vida’s shorts and “sweet baby girl” voice on and buckled in to Daddy Babe’s Camry for a road trip to Red Rock Deli!! Slappin our own ass in excitement at seeing where literal and actual Red Rock Deli chips grow, We were very disappointed to not find any chip plants. Very confusing and misleading #ad #adstandards

Time to bid the Babes of USA goodbye with a farken layover in fricken Santa Monica. Oh mah gawd!! We headed straight to the historic food halls and farmers markets [Get in mah belly!!] and saw a bewdiful farken swanky AF fountain, OUR best friend Charlotte’s store and some other shit n stuff on the way. Food glorious farken food!! Mumma was livin the farken Merican dream!!

Location: United Airlines dunny
Face masks and fanny wipes in the airplane loo and a farken bewdiful welcome home with hot air balloons too!! Sahhhh prity for Port Melbourne’s favourite daughter

Location: The Hovel, Port Melbourne
And just like that…..in a hawt minute we were back with our nearest and dearest - the Mitsubishi, crossbody bag collection, fresh oxtail, Braaaaddddd and cookin up a storm in The Hovel. Showering is optional y’all

Supervised access with The Children on ALove’s weekend to give them their shitty presents then this hometown hero took the farken dogs for a walk cos farken bloat from flyin n spendin 2 weeks in the farken hawt dessert an mah tummy tuck swellin. Prayers and Sorrows for mah waistband

Dear Diary -
Fark me ALove never changed the batteries in me scales at the end of daylight savings so they told me I put on 4 farken kay gees on mah peen holiday!! I literally and metaphorically only ate salad a dark meat I made bewdiful memories so who farken cares…imma just go an have a farken steamin hot bowl of sumthin….or a bagel….crossiant…

Mumma is hungrier than her arse in her favourite pink gbanger!!

……10kg chicken wings, 2 ‘small’ bowls of sugar free ice cream and a cuppla steamin hot bowls of oxtail slop later, Mumma slapped her own ass and curled up on the sadza stained couch and played a game of Candy Crush.

Gewwwdddd mornin happy farken Sundy from Naaaaadsss Cafe!! Got meself a latte but no coin for those pesky kids waitin in the Mitsubishi. Fark no! Mumma gots to hustle now!

[Meanwhile “Codegate” threatened to send Fezzas into a civil war to rival “Pantygate” started by our Merican fren @Buttercup123 many threads ago but thanks to the distraction of Emmy’s cankles in her Jordans and @Limpy Love getting castrated in the Chaddy underground carpark, we popped on some Kanye and hip hopped back into our Sunday Snark Sesh]

Monday’s hot tip was how to “coddle” your milk to make buttermilk for your pancakes…

The pollen count appeared high in Port Melbourne this weekend and the Fezza Meteorologists in residence predict this will rise mid week as Mumma tries to survive on her version of intermittent fasting (eat 16 hours:fast 8 hours) and climax on Friday as Babe 3.0 posts stories of romantic day trips to Walmart in his dad’s Camry with his newest peen puller fresh off the tarmac from Bulleen Heights

“Aunty Bubs is in da farken house!!!”

View attachment 2217835

brilliant as always #supercute

 

[Emmylou Strzelecki]

Thread suggestion:

In her luggage, Emmylou packed her micellar, to ensure her honey pot was fresh for her fella.

Have you seen the Daily Mail post regarding this ?

 

[Butt3rfly]

Back to the luggage chat lol…..excluding the Nuna, the luggage is July brand…..so approx $2000 worth of luggage………..I’d NEVER spend that much on something that’s going to be thrown around, scratched and damaged.

I have an American Tourister hard case set that I won. First trip and I had a big black rubber smear on it from who knows where. Another el cheap set, Lanza, had grease stains on the fabric.

 

[Butt3rfly]

Random question… If she were to move to Sydney would she take Aaron and the kids with her?

Ha ha ha ha ha as if!

 

[BeachBaby]

Is it just me or does the caption not make sense? “Who wouldn’t say no to a Dyson for 1 velocity point?”

Double negative. Very bad grammar.
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Comments are brilliant on Studio 10 FB post

See this is just stupid. All it does it prove that people are watching her and it gets engagement (even if negative).

 

[itsbeenaminute]

She spelt hayfever wrong

Looks perfectly fine lololololoolol