EmmyLou Loves #40 My life’s a mess, buy my body confidence dress, what size you’ll be

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This 'Hello Darlings' jumper (which she only got so they would reshare to their page) is the new uniform. Those putrid brown tights!? Imagine the fucking stench on them!? Rank.

Her comment at The Butcher 'I'm not even drinking right now' righto darl.
 
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I’m pretty sure she has mentioned ‘3km’ as a distance for her 1hr walks. Up to 5-6km for her longer, 2hr ones. I remember thinking it was extremely low km, even for her short little pig trotters.
 
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Yes, or at least into St Kilda / Elwood …

I’m pretty sure she has mentioned ‘3km’ as a distance for her 1hr walks. Up to 5-6km for her longer, 2hr ones. I remember thinking it was extremely low km, even for her short little pig trotters.
That’s hopeless!
 
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We all mow the lawn in $100 new jumpers and $150 gum boots! She wears worse clothes to work!!
 
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The drinking right now comment was odd but so is she. She is really taking the grubby look to the extreme lately. She used to at least try awhile ago.
 
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Does Emmylou do satire now
A lot of you *Tattlers all turn to Screeny* have been asking about my satire chicken *bug eyes* so if you ta page 58 of my confidence in tha kitchen cook book *confused face* or maybe it's page 73 *giggle* I've actually got the book on my website *pokes meaty finger towards bottom of screen* I'll put the link up here *nodding, major bug eyes* it's only $29.95 and that's including postage guys *scrunch, giggle* but ya know if ya can't afford ta buy it the satire chicken is on my website *looks off camera* Leah, it's on the website yeah *blank face, bogan mumbling* okay well Leah doesn't know *mean giggle* fark Leah whaddo I even farken pay ya for *maniacal laughing, bends over, out of breath, slaps thighs* Leah just *giggle* can I just tell them what you did Leah just stuck her finger up at me *over the top laughing, red squishy face* it's all fucken happenin' here at Emmylou Loves *story abruptly cuts off*
 
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Credit where credit is due, you don't often see parents dressing up so Emmy going to Book Week as the emoji turd is totes inspiring
 
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You are officially responsible for waking my baby

Best one yet. Maybe she has moved into being a satire account. It’s one of the more logical explanations for her bizarre content. The Scottish cleaner account I follow (Cleaning with Mario ) is so ridiculous I’m convinced it must be parody. I just can’t stop watching .
 
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Not the farken ‘chow sue’ pork again?? Who is cooking this shit? I’ll be all on my lonesome in iso for father day but I’d assume if it’s an amazing day families will be outside having a BBQ. Maybe she could show us how to make her famous potato salad instead?
 
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I wish I could see what her triglycerides and cholesterol are. Off the charts I bet. So.much meat. It.must have killed her that Aaron was vegan.
 
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Wait.

WAIT.

Is she REUSING baking paper?!?

It’s brown

Also is it normal to cook meat on baking paper, especially saucy meat?!

I’ve only ever used baking paper, to like, bake lol
Is it the type that starts out brown?

I use baking paper for farking everything (actually, I use silicon baking sheets #environment)!! It saves me from having to scrub out pans

She just makes it too easy.

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I honestly have no idea what you’re talking about 🫠
 

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I wish I could see what her triglycerides and cholesterol are. Off the charts I bet. So.much meat. It.must have killed her that Aaron was vegan.
I wonder if he was vegan before they met or changed during the relationship. I eat meat and personally after seeing the way she cooks meat, frequency and the sugary jar sauces I would turn vegetarian/perhaps vegan myself! https://giphy.com/hKyroc5P7axuU
 
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