She's out!
Again but not really....
From the telegram group.
‘Over and Out’
The last 9 years, but 3 years, especially have been a complete whirlwind of emotions. I have met some incredible people, some who are now like family, made incredible memories and had experiences I will never forget. But, at the risk of sounding very ungrateful, I have become someone who is under the spotlight at times and this was never what I wanted. All I tried to do was share information and give the other side of the coin…The one that is often not freely presented to us or given to us to make true informed consent. In the world that we live in there is a pandemic of data hiding, statistic manipulation and out right lying, especially in the media and pharmaceutical world and I felt like people needed to know that, but in return, I suffered with a lot of online hate.
There are people that we align with and there will always be people who we don’t align with. The beauty of this world is that not one person is the same as the next. We have the power of free will, if these last 2 years have taught us anything, it is exactly that. WE can do what WE want. Our freedoms are not conditional. Our freedoms were also not free. People died so that we have the power to say no. People fought for us so we had the ability in democracy to turn around and decline when something is unlawful, unsafe or immoral. This is something that shows us how strong we really are. We have not caved in the face of division, we have not buried ourselves in the shame that they tried to bring on us and we did not back down fighting for what we believed was right.
But, there HAS to be a time where you realise that you are done. When you have to look after yourself first, before other people… and that time has come for me.
I have a lot going on in my life, physically and mentally. I have got to a point where I have hit a wall and I cannot continue at the pace I am going. I can pretend to be okay, but I am not. I have to look after myself for my children’s sake and I can no longer bury my head in the sand and hope that I will just get better, because that isn’t happening. Putting the physical aspect aside, I have had so much to deal with in the last 2 years, there have been times that I have been so close to suicide because of the bullying and trolling. I removed myself online for months thinking it would get better, yet, it got worse. I felt like there was no way out and I thought that the only way to get that to stop was to remove myself from the situation permanently. The one thing that stopped me, was my children…but duck me, thinking back now to how close I was then, is absolutely terrifying. I am now in a better place mentally, I was able to get some help from a very good therapist and a handful of true friends and I realised that people who I don’t know, should never have the power to hurt me, especially to the detriment of my life. I do often wonder though, if they realise how close they were to tipping me over the edge and if they cared.
I am very good at looking after other people and trying to help/fix them, I will nearly always put other people before myself…but for the sake of my children and myself, I will no longer do that. My children deserve for me to get better and be the happiest, healthiest and high vibrational person that I can be, but I can not do that when I feel like the world is looking in. This, again, is my own fault. I allowed my own boundaries, or lack of, to interfere with my life. I became obsessed with social media and was spending hours on it every day. Maybe I said/posted things that I should have researched more about, maybe I should have kept some things to myself, maybe I should have allowed more people to see both sides of the coin, instead of just the ones that always got hidden, but I did what I believed and still believe was correct to help people in the way I knew how. I allowed strangers into my life through the lens of my own camera and I didn’t protect my own privacy. This, I regret.
Again, I don’t want this to come across like I am ungrateful to every single person who has followed me or supported me over the years, but, for someone with high anxiety, it was the wrong path to go down. I truly appreciate everyone who has been in my corner and fought the battle with me, you have allowed me to be self sufficient end given me the courage and self-belief to become dependant on myself and to break away from the rat race a little bit.
I will be continuing TR;BE (website underway) and I will also be continuing the clinic and treatments face to face there, but I will no longer be posting on social media about any political issues, natural health, alternative medicines or ‘conspiracies’ because I will only be focusing on myself and my children. I believe that I have given more of myself to the ‘cause’ than I ever should have done or needed to and I hope that people can appreciate where I am coming from. All my posts will remain up, but my posts (if and when I post) will remain to friends only, my videos are all on my telegram and facebook and my IG (@naturellieholistic) will remain in place but will just be more of an occasional post about normal IG/life things. To strengthen my boundaries, I won’t be responding to DM’s, if there is an issue with anything (orders) you can email me, but I will no longer be helping people with advice/debts/health etc, sorry. I just need everything to stop now and I need to start focusing on my actual life, my physical health, my job and not worry about my online ‘image’.
To the people who have been and are still ‘trolling’, I am respectfully requesting you to please stop. You’ve got what you wanted, which is me being offline and to stop sharing things, but as a parent, which most of you are and as a fellow human being, please allow me this time to be able to heal properly without the added anxiety of still being bullied and spoken/bitched/pulled apart on a daily basis.
Lots of love to you all.
Over and Out 🫶