I'd say I've always had an issue around death. Ive only ever lost my nan and grandad, my grandad died of dementia so seeing him deteriorate was extremely difficult, when he passed I threw all of my efforts in to comforting my nan, we had always been extremely close. She would ring me every day after work to see how my day had been, would tell me every day how proud of me she was and we used to go for little lunches out every week which was the highlight of my week. She was then admitted to hospital with a sickness bug, came home and purposely gave up, stopped eating and drinking because she said she wanted to be with my grandad. It was torture to sit with her every day knowing she was giving up like that but also made me feel slightly peaceful that she wanted to go and be with him. I sat with her every day and most nights until she went. I still talk to her photo every day and visit their grave every week without fail. I often wonder how I will ever cope if I lose my parents, the thought absolutely terrifies me as I am so so close to them.