Does anyone have power of attorney over your Nanna’s finances? Do you know if she has a will?
TBH if he has genuine concerns then cameras covering every room isn’t abnormal. However if he’s trying to locate her money stash’s that’s a different story.
If they want to deny credit interest then the only way I think is to file a police report as the bank would require this so again, while tit if your Mum was responsible for paying back the debt and tgere was money to cover it, it’s the only option. I know of parents who’ve had to report their kids as they are unable to pay back the debts they’ve accrued on their behalf so it’s the only way to get it written off.
Why did your Nanna have a CC in the first place if she had available cash?
If you suspect financial abuse from your uncle or that he’s controlling her finances because he’ll get what’s left I would seek advice however if he genuinely feels your Nanna isn’t capable of making financial decisions and wants to avoid her being scammed by outsiders then does she realistically need more than £50 a week?
Looking at is from an outside perspective, what your uncle is doing doesn’t sound unrealistic or u fair and could be taken as protecting his Mum because he didn’t realise your Mum had mishandled her finances, why would he have?
However it can also be seen as him being controlling to protect his own interests so I think it needs a pragmatic approach to look at what’s really happening here.
She has a will, we have a copy of it which states that everything should be shared between my uncle and mum and if one of those dies(ie my mum) her share goes to myself and my sister. My mum was never fussed about getting anything and said it would go to us either way. My uncle will just take his share and not give any to his kids or grandchildren.
I don't disagree with going to the police, it has just been the way they have gone about it. They have both said for years and years that my mum cant handle finances but have never stepped in to take over. My uncle would even give my mum his bank details to pay for holidays and stuff. So its like you are saying you dont trust her but yet you are also wanting her to carry on?
My nanna had a credit card as she wanted one to take on a trip to America. She denies all this but my sister and myself have clear memories of all this happening. Now she is saying she wanted a credit card etc. Basically my nanna(and uncle) will do anything for more money, she is also on the highest form of benefits you can get, hence why she has stashes of cash around the house. She spent 3 years wearing a neck brace because she pretended to have a bad neck.
My uncle tried to set up cameras before and my mum went mad as she said it would be a violation of my nannas privacy, he is pretty much going to see her get undressed, bathe, go to the loo etc. I think some of it is so he can see what shes doing. He wont get her one of those little alert things either and she wont pay for one.
It is a tricky situation as my nanna has memory issues but she will also make stuff up. Everyone who has ever been in her house she has accused of stealing something only for it to turn up later cos she had put it somewhere.
A lot of the thing with my uncle stems from him knowing that she has taken equity from the house and whatever is left of her estate will go on debts which will mean less money for him. It is all about the money at the end of the day. Honestly my mums side of the family is a mess.
My nanna was pretty much on her death bed a few years ago and all my uncle was bothered about was what jewellry of hers he wanted. When my other uncle was dying in ITU my nanna had to give my uncle 200 as my dying uncle had borrowed it from him and he was kicking off that he wanted the money back.
You will be in shock just now. I lost my husband 6 years ago this month and more recently my best friend. What I can say is that it does get easier day by day. You don't get over it but you do learn to live with it. Please take all the support that is offered to you, people do not mind and want to help. There will be a lot to navigate over the coming weeks and months but you will get through it. Just take it minute by minute and don't make any life changing decisions in the early days.
I am 48, I was 15 years and 3 months younger than my husband. My mum was 31 and had 3 young children way back in 1980 - like you say, whatever age you are, it's difficult.
