Dating in Lockdown #2 The audacity of men

[LaurieLaurie]

15 miles is probably my limit, I’ve dated lads that live 30 miles away and it’s just too far imo.
I talked to a lad that lived in the same (small) town as me and it just made me feel uncomfortable that I recognised people from his Snapchat/Instagram. I want to be able to snap my arse and tits and not worry that the town is gonna see them haha.

 

[leapricot]

For guys who stop engaging (period or after sex):
NO CONTACT = they (always to often) come back

This is something I really need to learn. I find that I get a bit too excited after a 1st date gone well and want constant texts. I get to know their texting pattern and if they don't text when they usually would, I text, double text, triple text. I am fully conscious of it so I am trying to really be better at this. But I've got this irrational fear that if I don't text them, they will forget about me and find someone else. Maybe I need therapy.

 

[LaurieLaurie]

This is something I really need to learn. I find that I get a bit too excited after a 1st date gone well and want constant texts. I get to know their texting pattern and if they don't text when they usually would, I text, double text, triple text. I am fully conscious of it so I am trying to really be better at this. But I've got this irrational fear that if I don't text them, they will forget about me and find someone else. Maybe I need therapy.

Stop texting like that it massively puts them off, they know you exist just chill.

 

[leapricot]

Stop texting like that it massively puts them off, they know you exist just chill.

I know I know! I am on my way to recovery and I am chilling a bit more now.

 

[ThreeSteaksPam]

@leapricot It never hurts for them to feel like they need to do a bit of chasing or might have some competition in the background You don’t want them knowing they are your only option or preferred option too early on.
I know how you feel, waiting for a text is awful, but put your phone out of sight and keep busy and if they’re going to text, they will. If they don’t, well at least you know what you’re dealing with and thank u, next

 

[silkstoiletpaper]

Ive been on quite a few first dates with people I've met on dating apps but I never like anyone enough to go on a second. Last week I went on a date with someone I have been talking to for a while and I ended up really liking him even though I really didn't expect to. We've been trying to plan a second date be we couldn't find a day that we are both free so the conversation eventually just fizzled out.
I showed my brother the convo and he told me that it seemed that I couldn't care less that we couldn't find a day and the guy obviously just gave up. I tried so hard to not seem keen (because I was VERY keen) that I took it to the other extreme then I felt so annoyed with myself and in a fit of rage I deleted his number (yes I am insane why do you ask) but now that I have calmed down and I'm thinking more rationaly I realise how easy it would be for me to fix it, but I can't bloody message him can I because I don't have his bloody number
My only hope now is that by some miracle his messages me again but I highly doubt it
Im so sick of myself honestly hhahahhahah

Just a quick update!
Thank you to everyone that replied, you were all right, he did come back a few days later
I'm really really busy at the moment (he is aware of this) so I'm going to leave it until things calm down a bit for me in a few weeks and if he's still interested great but if not that's completely understandable and fair enough.

I asked one of my male friends why he stops messaging people and he said he usually does it if he feels like the person isn't that interested, which makes sense.
But then he showed me examples of what he deemed not interested and we realised that our interpretations of 'not interested' were completely different! I truly believe some of these girls were indeed interested and he stopped talking to them for absolutely no reason

So my conclusion is we are all doomed.
xoxo gossip girl

 

[justapossum]

A guy started messaging me yesterday, and he's already managed to bring up his ex a few times. Firstly to tell me that he is "too much of a nice guy" and his ex said so, and now he just messaged me to talk about what a "nice guy" he is, and he started listing some of the "nice" and "selfless" things he has done for his ex in the past I feel like if you are a nice guy, you wouldn't constantly bring it up and have to try to convince someone of it? I'm finding it really strange.

 

[LaurieLaurie]

A guy started messaging me yesterday, and he's already managed to bring up his ex a few times. Firstly to tell me that he is "too much of a nice guy" and his ex said so, and now he just messaged me to talk about what a "nice guy" he is, and he started listing some of the "nice" and "selfless" things he has done for his ex in the past I feel like if you are a nice guy, you wouldn't constantly bring it up and have to try to convince someone of it? I'm finding it really strange.

I wouldn’t even respond

 

[Lucyloulucy]

A guy started messaging me yesterday, and he's already managed to bring up his ex a few times. Firstly to tell me that he is "too much of a nice guy" and his ex said so, and now he just messaged me to talk about what a "nice guy" he is, and he started listing some of the "nice" and "selfless" things he has done for his ex in the past I feel like if you are a nice guy, you wouldn't constantly bring it up and have to try to convince someone of it? I'm finding it really strange.

Why do people go out of their way to highlight they possess basic human decency? I expect that to come as standard. “Ooh, I’m a nice guy, have sex with me because I’m a nice guy, I’m entitled to all things because I’m a nice guy” Blah blah blah

 

[silkstoiletpaper]

A guy started messaging me yesterday, and he's already managed to bring up his ex a few times. Firstly to tell me that he is "too much of a nice guy" and his ex said so, and now he just messaged me to talk about what a "nice guy" he is, and he started listing some of the "nice" and "selfless" things he has done for his ex in the past I feel like if you are a nice guy, you wouldn't constantly bring it up and have to try to convince someone of it? I'm finding it really strange.

"nice guys" are always the worst

 

[realhousewivewannabe]

Stop texting like that it massively puts them off, they know you exist just chill.

this is so true, I get nervous when they don’t text like they’ll suddenly forget I do exist. I love you and your responses Laur even better than Matthew Hussey you are!

Haha we are so similar with texting @leapricot we need to go to texting AA

Also the xoxo gossip girl absolutely killed me. I loved that programme.

 

[justapossum]

"nice guys" are always the worst

100%, every single time I've spoken to a guy who's like "oh nice guys finish last", it's usually nothing to do with whether or not they're nice, it's usually their personality that's off putting

 

[realhousewivewannabe]

Any guy who proclaims they’re a “nice guy” are very very very much not nice guys.

 

[sleepflowers]

I find it weird when a guy lists his supposed personality traits in a profile anyway. 'I'm nice, funny, kind hearted, have a good sense of humour'...well we should be able to tell that from how you act, you don't need to spell it out. I have a joke on my profile about how I'm clearly loyal because I use the same ipod I did when I was 16, but that's being tongue-in-cheek!

 

[yankydoo]

Slight change of subject, I really hate discussing exes or why I'm single with a guy. I don't mind some basic information like he's been divorced for 3 years and not met anyone who he has clicked with since. But when men give you the gory details or want to know yours, it puts me off. Especially when they proclaim to have been treated badly by an ex and harp on about it.

I think it's an age thing for me and having been around the block a few times, I really just want to meet someone and move forward without dwelling in the past.

 

[BekkaBoo]

Slight change of subject, I really hate discussing exes or why I'm single with a guy. I don't mind some basic information like he's been divorced for 3 years and not met anyone who he has clicked with since. But when men give you the gory details or want to know yours, it puts me off. Especially when they proclaim to have been treated badly by an ex and harp on about it.

I think it's an age thing for me and having been around the block a few times, I really just want to meet someone and move forward without dwelling in the past.

I'm the same. It's a red flag for me because I see it as a sign that they haven't moved on. Love when they put it in their profile cos i swipe left straight away, save the hassle of even connecting. We've all been hurt before but I want someone who's looking forwards not back.

Completely off topic but did anyone else get excited when they saw the sombrero on this? I thought I had levelled up for a minute!

 

[LaurieLaurie]

I’m ruthless so banging on about an ex would be an immediate strike off, I don’t think twice about removing people. It always escalates into a bigger problem and they end up crazy and show you why they are single.

 

[LaLa247]

About 40 miles, I don’t mind travelling for a decent guy, it’s that bad now

No nor would I! The problem is if he didn’t turn out to be decent the petrol money would be a double blow hahaha

 

[misscl4]

No nor would I! The problem is if he didn’t turn out to be decent the petrol money would be a double blow hahaha

True, that’s why I usually make them meet half way and then come my way if there’s a second date.
But yes it can rack up!

btw why do we have hats today?

 

[BekkaBoo]

True, that’s why I usually make them meet half way and then come my way if there’s a second date.
But yes it can rack up!

btw why do we have hats today?

I think it's for Cinco de Mayo