Dating in Lockdown #2 The audacity of men

[TheGlossy]

long time lurker, loooove this thread! I met my current bf in lockdown 1 having been painfully single for 3 years, but still feel traumatised from online dating cant lie

Aside from the classic lie about height (apparently if you're anywhere from 5'9 to 5'11, you're 6ft ) anyone ever been catfished?

Not catfished per se, but sort of. The guy basically lied about his job (that was years ago, I was 22 at the time).

He claimed he was a manager at this popular restaurant and claimed he was on leave every single time we went out (a handful of times). I later found out he didn't have a job as he messed with his former manager's daughter and got the boot. He didn't have any money and spent what was left on his bank account on dates (hoping to get easy on night stands) and alcohol. I looked up one of his pictures on Google afterwards and found him on an "adult" website looking for hookups if you know what I mean. Complete car crash. The worst part is I was really into him even after I found out. I certainly was out of my mind!

He had dropped out of college to become a full-time bartender (he was studying biochemistry).

I was insane, but he got the short end of the stick as he didn't get anything from me.

 

[BekkaBoo]

This is why I always try and scope out their social media before getting too far into a conversation etc.

I'm very slow to connect on social media. I wouldn't add anyone before meeting either.

 

[misscl4]

Not catfished per se, but sort of. The guy basically lied about his job (that was years ago, I was 22 at the time).

He claimed he was a manager at this popular restaurant and claimed he was on leave every single time we went out (a handful of times). I later found out he didn't have a job as he messed with his former manager's daughter and got the boot. He didn't have any money and spent what was left on his bank account on dates (hoping to get easy on night stands) and alcohol. I looked up one of his pictures on Google afterwards and found him on an "adult" website looking for hookups if you know what I mean. Complete car crash. The worst part is I was really into him even after I found out. I certainly was out of my mind!

He had dropped out of college to become a full-time bartender (he was studying biochemistry).

I was insane, but he got the short end of the stick as he didn't get anything from me.

Omg, he sounds like someone ive heard about from a friend, was his name Chris and from Coventry area? Friend said she saw the guy a year or two later with a pregnant GF!

 

[TheGlossy]

Omg, he sounds like someone ive heard about from a friend, was his name Chris and from Coventry area? Friend said she saw the guy a year or two later with a pregnant GF!

Oh boy. It certainly wasn't the same guy as I was located overseas at the time, but this one sounds worse!

 

[Noahfence]

i went on a date with a catfish who was a completely different person from his pictures...

It was quite a spur of the moment date anyways so hadn't been chatting long enough to really get any red flags, and his photos seemed quite realistic from my matches if that makes sense (like we've all seen those fake profiles with the photos taken straight from "hot guy" on google images, but this guy seemed very much within my league) so i had no reason to suspect.. Until i was waiting for him to arrive outside the station, and some guy starts walking over - clearly recognises me - and I'm there thinking i cant place this guy, rackin my brains trying to figure out who he was thinking id just forgotton the face and maybe used to work with him or something, but turned out this was my date... He was seeeveral pounds larger than the guy i was expecting, and at least 20 years older... Worst thing was i was quite new to online dating at the time and i was caught so off guard by the catfishing that I sort of just went along with him out of politeness (needless to say, learnt from this lesson lol)... the whole date i couldnt get a word in he was talking so much about how great he was and that he gets soOoOo much attention from women.. luckily i made an excuse within about an hour and escaped after a couple dodged kisses but honestly just... wow! My only regret now is i didnt confront him at the time to understand what the duck he was thinking.. Thing was as much as he wasnt at all what was advertised, he wasnt unattractive by any means and he was pretty charasmatic so it just makes it all so much more psycho that he catfishes and clearly sees no problem with it when im sure he could find dates as himself... yikes

 

[anonesk223]

Been texting with a guy who seems genuinely normal and interested (a good start ) and he asked if I want to meet next weekend for food and drinks
We were texting on Sunday night and he said if I can let him know which day is best on the weekend, he will book somewhere. I said I will let him know the next day and we carried on chatting. He stopped replying and this was okay as he mentioned he was at the pub with friends.

But then he never replied all day yesterday - I sent another text just to let him know Saturday works best for me - and he hasn’t even read it? And I’ve seen him online multiple times? Am I about to be ghosted lol

He’s just rescheduled

 

[yankydoo]

He’s just rescheduled

Delete and move on. He's wasting your time. (Sorry btw - it's so crap)

 

[BekkaBoo]

i went on a date with a catfish who was a completely different person from his pictures...

It was quite a spur of the moment date anyways so hadn't been chatting long enough to really get any red flags, and his photos seemed quite realistic from my matches if that makes sense (like we've all seen those fake profiles with the photos taken straight from "hot guy" on google images, but this guy seemed very much within my league) so i had no reason to suspect.. Until i was waiting for him to arrive outside the station, and some guy starts walking over - clearly recognises me - and I'm there thinking i cant place this guy, rackin my brains trying to figure out who he was thinking id just forgotton the face and maybe used to work with him or something, but turned out this was my date... He was seeeveral pounds larger than the guy i was expecting, and at least 20 years older... Worst thing was i was quite new to online dating at the time and i was caught so off guard by the catfishing that I sort of just went along with him out of politeness (needless to say, learnt from this lesson lol)... the whole date i couldnt get a word in he was talking so much about how great he was and that he gets soOoOo much attention from women.. luckily i made an excuse within about an hour and escaped after a couple dodged kisses but honestly just... wow! My only regret now is i didnt confront him at the time to understand what the duck he was thinking.. Thing was as much as he wasnt at all what was advertised, he wasnt unattractive by any means and he was pretty charasmatic so it just makes it all so much more psycho that he catfishes and clearly sees no problem with it when im sure he could find dates as himself... yikes

I was the exact same, the whole 'wait....no.....it can't be.....can it.......FUUUUUUUCK!!' as you realise you've been scammed. I was too polite too

He’s just rescheduled

Rescheduled but chatty? Or you get the sense he's stringing you along?

 

[sleepflowers]

I'm very slow to connect on social media. I wouldn't add anyone before meeting either.

Interesting, I'm the opposite, especially on Instagram. I'd have no trouble giving out my Instagram before we met, and getting theirs - it allows me to see more about their personality IMO. However I would be unlikely to add them on Facebook before meeting.

 

[LaurieLaurie]

He’s just rescheduled

Have you got another date or did just ask to reschedule?

 

[Lucyloulucy]

He’s just rescheduled

This is bad vibes. I’d pull back quite a bit. Let him take the lead on rearranging plans and check what/who else is out there.

 

[D_Wills]

Interesting, I'm the opposite, especially on Instagram. I'd have no trouble giving out my Instagram before we met, and getting theirs - it allows me to see more about their personality IMO. However I would be unlikely to add them on Facebook before meeting.

Same! It goes dating app, Instagram, WhatsApp for me you get a much better idea of a person from their social media.

 

[Gilly88]

He’s just rescheduled

Forget him. A guy doesn’t act like that when he’s really into you.
Never to worry he’s just helped clear the path for Mr Right

 

[BekkaBoo]

Same! It goes dating app, Instagram, WhatsApp for me you get a much better idea of a person from their social media.

I'm probably a bit too conservative to be fair I'll text no bother though. A guy sent me his number through tinder yesterday so I messaged him on WhatsApp and he voice clipped me back took me about 2 hours to build up the courage to voice clip him back then. Any wonder I'm single Voice clips are another level for me, though it was actually really nice to hear his voice

 

[misscl4]

Same! It goes dating app, Instagram, WhatsApp for me you get a much better idea of a person from their social media.

THIS

 

[realhousewivewannabe]

Quite easy to go off a vibe and have these opinions.

Do you think? I honestly don’t think I give off a vibe that they think they’ll break my heart but whatever these men think is what they think isn’t it.

Ok gang so I asked my best mate a reformed playboy (he’s a lot lot older and wiser than me). Has said guys who take ages or don’t textback? Or if they do the whole left on read and ignoring your for weeks or months on end. He said they do it so we’ll push for more or so they’ll lower our self esteem which works out in their favour and basically get us to sleep with them. How crazy is that! Such a sick twisted game of manipulation.
To the one who said doesn’t text back don’t text him again tbh and if he’s asked to reschedule but not given another day or time

 

[anonesk223]

He said he forgot he had plans with friends and said can we reschedule for “next weekend” but no ideas or anything were thrown out there I said sure and just to let me know when and he just said “thank you” so I dunno, think I’ll take this as another not interested... I hate OLD so much

 

[sleepflowers]

Do you think? I honestly don’t think I give off a vibe that they think they’ll break my heart but whatever these men think is what they think isn’t it.

Ok gang so I asked my best mate a reformed playboy (he’s a lot lot older and wiser than me). Has said guys who take ages or don’t textback? Or if they do the whole left on read and ignoring your for weeks or months on end. He said they do it so we’ll push for more or so they’ll lower our self esteem which works out in their favour and basically get us to sleep with them. How crazy is that! Such a sick twisted game of manipulation.
To the one who said doesn’t text back don’t text him again tbh and if he’s asked to reschedule but not given another day or time

That makes me so angry to hear, but it's unsurprising given *gestures broadly at the entire male population in human history*. They're going to end up very sad and lonely if they don't realise that it's women who hold most of the power in OLD.

 

[realhousewivewannabe]

That makes me so angry to hear, but it's unsurprising given *gestures broadly at the entire male population in human history*. They're going to end up very sad and lonely if they don't realise that it's women who hold most of the power in OLD.

You and me both!!! I come with evidence when I talk to or ask him for advice so screenshots etc.
I had a situation with a guy I had been texting for a bit (from the roster) and it got to the point where I was like listen do you want to meet or are you not on it? We’ve been texting voicenotes and phone call but like we just needed to meet. Anyway so I received a dick pic from this guy (we’ve literally never met) with how he’s had a sex dream about me etc and would I send pics back. I was shocked our previous chat was how we have such a good chat and vibe and he can’t wait to meet me... I asked him wtf was up with that and his reponse was you already know. I think there’s a lot of red flags with people on OLD and most guys are only after sex. And I don’t even offer it

 

[LaurieLaurie]

I don’t think all men ghost to play games, some of the reasons my male friends have ghosted have been pretty mild. They ghost because there’s someone else lurking from their past, someone new comes along, they get the ick, they get bored, no banter, etc. Sometimes you just talk to someone for a few days and realise there’s nothing there.