Dating after Lockdown

[realhousewivewannabe]

Yep, the case of Sarah has really put me off too! I used to live not far from Clapham Common too. I would regularly go to bars and restaurants there and have walked (ran home sometimes too). Unfortunately it’s really hard to know which guys are “nice” and “normal”. I don’t want to be groped by random guys, don’t want to risk my life everytime I go on an online date either.
I searched on my WhatsApp the amount of times guys had said to me something along the lines “I’m not a murderer” as a way like that makes you more inclined to meet them. So hard stay safe this weekend all! Xxxx

 

[Woolmercardington]

I also see the sarky height comments a lot. If they are actually tall then there would be no need for the sarky comment. I think it's just the short arses getting all pissy about it

Another thing I see loads is blokes sticking up their middle finger or two fingers at the camera. I really can't bear that. Either looks aggressive or trying really hard to give off a 'bad lad' vibe.

 

[Woolmercardington]

I always imagine they post them because they feel they need to prove they're not on a dating site because they are repulsive to women. Like, "Hey, look at this hot woman cuddling me! I CAN get women to touch me, ya know!!!!"

 

[Cocoflowers]

After everything happening this week with that poor sarah has really put me off talking to any guys at all. Just feel its a waste of time and none of them are serious. Even had a guy try message me on 5 accounts and I'm really not ok of opening up to someone again after that guy in a relationship has seriously messed with my head

 

[sleepflowers]

Anyone worry that they'll never settle down? . I'm nearing 30, I have 2 children and my own home. I've had one longish relationship a few years ago (not my children's father)but I just feel like I'm never going to find someone to settle with. I've always wanted to get married but I now don't feel like that's ever going to happen and if it does then I'm going to be an old bride . I'm so shit at the talking part on the apps so it never really progresses. But I'm also quite shy in person and I don't really go out even in normal times so I feel like I'm pretty much screwed .

Yep! Although I don't have kids or my own home...I feel like I'll never be able to buy on my own, I just don't earn enough to get a deposit anywhere near my work. Haven't decided if I want kids but it would be nice to have the option rather than just resigning myself to a sperm donor or whatever lol. I would love to get into a strong relationship like I see my friends doing, and get married and have a partner to go through life with, but all the stuff inbetween I'm a complete flop at. I'm also bad at the talking part! I just get so bored with it.

I don't want to mess around dating multiple guys, I want to find the one then go all the way. I don't get how people get into relationships so easy, it's like a skill I never learnt.

 

[yankydoo]

Went on a date in mid March with a guy. We got on well and arranged a second date. He postponed as he got ill but continued the convo for a few days. He then went quiet and I messaged him asking if he was feeling better. He read my WhatsApp and did not reply. I messaged him the next day asking if he is ok and same again.

I deleted him and moved on.

Last night I got a message from him saying his pet (I don't want to say the pet just in case it he reads this somehow ) has fallen ill and is due to be put down this week.

It's very sad but I did not reply. Just think it was rude to ignore me completely for all this time. Maybe I am being harsh but I feel the moment has completely passed now

 

[Eyerollbrainache]

Ahhhh yes. The new “So how’s lockdown been treating you?”

Makes me cringe. I hate it. Boke

I remember chatting to this one bloke ages ago. If he messaged me at the weekend, it was of course the standard, "How is your weekend going?"

If he messaged on Monday or Tuesday, it was, "How was your weekend?"

If he messaged on Thursday or Friday, it was, "Any plans for the weekend?"

Then, this one Wednesday, I was treated with, "Did you have a nice weekend? Up to anything exciting this weekend?"

I mean, fucking hell!!

I replied with, "Wow, you really love asking me about my weekends."

Him: "Oh do I?"

Me: "Yes. You ask me every time you message me."

Him: "Oh I hadn't noticed ha ha."

Thankfully that was the last time I ever heard from him God, how I miss that witty repartee.

I feel this. I have come off the dating apps now because the absolute bore I feel when all I get is 'good day?' or 'any plans for the weekend?'

I have started responding sarcastically like 'yeah ran the London marathon yesterday' or 'swam the channel yesterday'

The responses are always 'OMG really?'

NO WE ARE IN A LOCKDOWN. Nobody has done anything for a year .

 

[Greencatfysh]

Thanks for the update! Hope you're doing okay....

Good for you for speaking up and telling him how you felt. It's also nice that he's acknowledged that his behaviour hasn't been at the level you are deserving of, even though he's not done it maliciously. As hard as it is, don't hang on to every word he has said in his message as lovely and as honest as he's been. Go and enjoy yourself (following COVID guidelines, obvs!) and try to not think about him... Make new memories, hang out with your friends and fam, keep busy and keep laughing. If it's meant to be, he'll be back in no time

Good for you girl - keep him on the back burner and keep looking around. I’m sceptical but i met my boyfriend on bumble and he has a very busy international job and once got a taxi straight from
Heathrow to meet me for two hours after a 14 hour flight. Not trying to sound like a dick but if someone is super keen and sees a future with you they’ll make it happen, at least with some amazing texting and phone calls in the times when you can’t see eachother physically.

 

[Tea4u]

Every fucking person is asking me how my Valentine’s was on Tinder. Do you think if I was taken/had a Valentine’s I’d be on tinder? AHHHHHGHH

 

[it’s not been changed?!]

You what??!

 

[sleepflowers]

Most men have absolutely dire dating profiles. Low effort on the profile = low effort IRL, that's what it implies to me

 

[birdiefly246]

Not in debt?! What’s it got to do with him anyway!!!

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"aren't boring" ????

WHO WANTS SOMEONE WHO IS BORING?! SURELY IT'S A FUCKING GIVEN THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO BE WITH SOMEONE BORING YOU ACTUAL ASSWIPE!


Seriously why would you even write that! I was considering getting back on the dating apps but you know what... I'm good

 

[NMK]

I got Bumble and got chatting to a few people. I actually quite enjoyed talking to one guy but he started being super slow at replying then whenever he did, it was distracted/one word answers. He did the same thing last night and tbh I deleted the app because I was getting a bit sick of it (and the usual dating app stuff) but now I wished I got that guys number even though deep down he really isn't worth the effort in the long run

hun I know that feeling it’s awful but youre better off not having his number especially if he is making no effort! Not worth it better knowing now than meeting him and liking him! My friends do a 3 month thing 3 months on the app if it doesn’t work out they come off for a bit then go on again so they feel refreshed🤍🤍

 

[realhousewivewannabe]

Me too. He’s dishy send him my way

Also:


Ok so I found what could be my actual dream man. I’ve ran out of likes on hinge and didn’t wanna pay, so I think he’ll disappear from my list to try and match with. Anyway He plays rugby and I’ve found his rugby team and then his Instagram... fbi need to give me a job! Seriously (I sound insane I already know) but imagine explaining that on a first date (wishful thinking)

 

[ThreeSteaksPam]

I’m not going to even think about another relationship until my PhD is done (2 years time ). A man isn’t going to get me my dream career, my dream home and car one day. My ex hurt me real bad and I’m still healing, I’m just really over men and relationships! I’m sick of seeing it on SM, ‘cosy winter nights with bae’ F OFF

Take things like this on Insta and Facebook with a pinch of salt. In fact, a kilo of salt. Some of the most miserable couples I know are the ones that do the most on social media, it’s all smoke and mirrors

P.S: You’re doing the right thing focussing on yourself. You’ll be just fine, I promise

 

[lalalanded]

OMG OMG OMG You’ve just reminded me of something. So the very first guy I ever matched with on Hinge was like this.

We were messaging backwards and forwards for a bit and then out of nowhere, he came out with the below. Obviously he’s carefully worded and crafted these messages over time and probably has them saved in his notes to copy and paste to every woman he matches with. The way he tries to make “I’m just looking for a shag” sound really profound and spiritual is absolutely hilarious We still rinse him in the group chat to this day.

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Yeah, I'll give it a miss Rico Suave!!! It's so funny when they're just basic fuck bois but try to make it spiritual!!!

 

[Pink blancmange]

Well he sounds like a right catch

 

[Eyerollbrainache]

I love this thread! I've been single for nearly 5 years now. I tried the dating apps, Tinder made me feel awful, like terrible. I either had guys eating out of my hands because they wanted a hookup or nothing at all. Then bumble just times out too quickly. Hinge is good, but I haven't met anyone yet off there. Had a few dates, but just never meet anyone that I click with. I was dating a guy from my gym for 9 months, then it turns out he was still married and lied the whole time. I felt absolute crap for that, and to be honest since I've been so wary of guys. I feel like lockdown and COVID-19 have made dating nearly impossible now, which is fine because if this is what we have to do, then we cant change it.

My main problem is I flit between love being single and then feeling lonely and redownloading the dating apps. I thought post-divorce life would be a real mix of dating and fun, and pre-march it kind of was. Now it's just a boring and very sexless life haha. Lockdown highlighted how much I rely on my friends for social interaction and support, being a single household has been very lonely!

 

[Prinstress]

A part of me wants to believe i have just misunderstood him or that he was just too stressed at work. But definitely shouldn't be compromising with something that's negatively affecting me.

When someone shows you who they are, believe them, don’t make excuses for them or blame yourself!

 

[square_spoon]

Up there with the guys who have 'my kids r my wrld - if u don't like that then f-you' as the the only text in their profiles.