Dating after Lockdown

[Bellaboo83]

Why are guys so full on these days? Started talking to a guy and two messages in he's asking to call me and asking if we can go on a date tonight. Feel like I need to just run in the opposite direction, shame because he was actually good looking too.

They really are!! I'm talking to one that messages ALL the time and I just cba chatting at 8am and then back and forth all day . I said this morning I was having a cozy day in because I'm off work and he said its a shame he can't come over and be cozy with me , then when I didn't respond within 5 minutes he sent another text apologising for being too forward. I've only been talking to him 2 days, he hasn't seen me in the flesh, he knows very little about me..... Why say something like that so soon? ... Like you say it just makes me want to run away!

 

[bobthedragqueen]

Now wouldn’t a tattle love story be nice!

Single man, what are you looking for in the tattle love of your life??

Here!

 

[coconochanel]

quick update hes accepted my friend request.

 

[it’s not been changed?!]

The last line of his paragraph I don’t know about anyone else, but It made me cringe.

 

[realhousewivewannabe]

Oh a 100% .

Here's a dilemma, what do you do if you like a couple of pics on a guys IG account then release his has two accounts and he is active on the older one?

run for the hills

 

[Travelmehomee]

My fellow singletons: How are you coping with being the “single one”?

At the moment it feels as though EVERYONE around is either pregnant, buying properties with their other half or getting engaged.

If it’s not on Facebook (lol) it’s over Instagram or it’s on WhatsApp.

Don’t get me wrong I am so happy for people in this life phase including my friends and family members who are all of the above including two of them getting engaged this weekend but at the same time I am really struggling with it all.

In my friendship group I am the only single one, living with parents and it’s just a bit disheartening especially when all that is discussed is boyfriends, babies, house, fiancés, wedding planning, double dates (which you get left out of and just see on social media) or you get asked what’s new when really what’s being implied is when are you going to find someone, or that there must be something wrong with you if you haven’t found someone yet.

I am starting to feel overwhelmed by it all and freaking out at the same time as it just feels like I’m stuck on this crap single ride i can’t get off and online dating is doing my head!

I 100% feel your pain. I did buy a few months ago by myself though, I was sick of people saying "oh wait till you meet someone" - I've reached a point where I doubt I will actually meet anyone. I have up and down days, sometimes I am content but other days I really wish someone would be there to eat dinner with at night or go for a walk with. 4

I don't have any answers but you aren't alone!

 

[ThreeSteaksPam]

In my experience, people who do this are often projecting their own issues. I’ve seen it countless times before. What you’ve described here doesn’t sound like genuine concern from a friend who might be worried about you getting hurt. It sounds like snark from someone who is maybe going through a shit time in their own relationship and wants to plant seeds of insecurity in your head because misery loves company. If I were you, I would play my cards very close to my chest where this friend is concerned.

Most importantly, don’t let the negativity get into your head and enjoy yourself with this guy, it sounds like things are going well!

 

[ThreeSteaksPam]

I’m going with a good old-fashioned “Tell him the truth”

I think we’ve all seen on this thread (and various others) how much overthinking and confusion can be caused by trying to let people down gently or spare their feelings by sugar coating what’s really happened. Just tell him how it is then he’ll know exactly where he stands.

 

[lasttime]

Update on my situation, todays date didn't happen. During a conversation i asked if he's on fb and he said no. Told him I came across his profile the other day and he backtracked to say he has a profile but doesn't use it. Told him I thought he'd blocked me and he's denying it. I'm done with it. No time for people that can't be honest even when they've been called out.

 

[Pink blancmange]

'Swipe to see my doggo '
If I wanted a dog I'd be looking at a rescue center not Tinder, you cringe!!!

 

[it’s not been changed?!]

I can’t believe I’m messaging someone who has a selfie of himself wearing sunglasses inside.

 

[Pink blancmange]

I definitely feel like I’m allowing myself to settle because I honestly don’t think I’ll find anyone on an app I will click with. I don’t hold myself in any kind of light or think I’m better than these men by the way, I’m just fussy and particular. Breaking up with my long term bf really messed me up and it’s only really taken me until now, 3 years later to get over him. It actually freak me out to imagine having that closeness with anyone else, tbh. Probably why I’m so half arsed when it comes to chatting on apps cos I have a barrier and have only have flings since I broke up with my ex.

At least you’ve been putting yourself out there! I went on a walking date in November and he was only interested in having some fun and nothing serious! His words!!

So many of your posts that I see, I could have wrote myself. I split up with my long term partner in 2018, not through lack of love but we just wanted different things at different times in our lives but other than that we were really well suited. When I'm on dating sites, I see someone who is attractive but then I think could I REALLY be as close, comfortable and in love with you as I was with **** and I just can't see it. Which is ridiculous because you never know who you will fall for. But I just can't stop that trail of thought

 

[yankydoo]

Hi!

I feel exactly the same. This year I was going to be a social butterfly and meet new people out and about....lol!

I‘ve been back on the apps for a few weeks and have had some socially distanced dates. They have been walks and the odd picnic. I had this one this week where we went for a walk and then sat in a pub garden for a drink.

It is actually a nice way to date. The walks and being outdoors makes it clean cut and there’s less pressure as you have to be socially distanced.

Just bite the bullet and go for it. Get chatting to some people. It’s not too bad!

Edit to add that most people on the apps are respectful of the rules etc and up for socially distanced dates.

 

[aimz_yeah]

So I’m a health professional which I semi disclose on my profile but I’m subtle about. It really annoys me when people use it as a way to overly hype themselves up or as semi false advertising.
I matched with this guy as I mainly wanted to see if he was actually this much of a dick. He had the obligatory picture in scrubs but also two photos with him accessorising outfits with a stethoscope (one was a suit, the other was a football kit).

I mean urgh

 

[realhousewivewannabe]

Yay!!! A positive story for this thread hoorayyy



So folks, I got tinder last night for the first time in years and there’s monsters 🥲

A few matches and guys wanting to meet already? it’s a lockdown hun
I’m getting the ick at Bad grammar, Short men (sorry I’m a tall arse), some actual awful tattoos, and a lot of shit selfies I don’t wanna see your furry tongue!!!

Also I crack up at the title so much because really it should have been named dating after lockdown(s) poor naive me thinking it’ll be one!

 

[ThreeSteaksPam]

Imagine if women did that with their weight! I guess it sucks to be objectified huh fellas?

Imagine indeed.. “Size 10 because apparently that’s important” I might stick that on my profile for a week and see how many men have the self awareness to understand it.

 

[chanandlerbong]

Went on a date in mid March with a guy. We got on well and arranged a second date. He postponed as he got ill but continued the convo for a few days. He then went quiet and I messaged him asking if he was feeling better. He read my WhatsApp and did not reply. I messaged him the next day asking if he is ok and same again.

I deleted him and moved on.

Last night I got a message from him saying his pet (I don't want to say the pet just in case it he reads this somehow ) has fallen ill and is due to be put down this week.

It's very sad but I did not reply. Just think it was rude to ignore me completely for all this time. Maybe I am being harsh but I feel the moment has completely passed now

Not harsh, the fact that you double messaged and he still ghosted after cancelling the second date makes me side eye the initial 'ill' excuse. Tbh I'm not sure why he's messaging you about his pet being put down anyway? I'm thinking because he knows he's fucked you off and you were likely to ignore him so wanted to say something to tug at your heart strings and encourage you to reply. It's a no from me

 

[catscradle]

Apps can be weird. I went on a tinder date last year (end of 2019 tbh) with this one guy- we had actually been forced to rearrange our date several times so we ended up messaging back and forth for a few weeks before we met up in person. From his pictures, I thought he was super hot and I was v into him.

Strangely, when we met up I didn't find myself nearly as attracted to him as i thought I'd be. It wasn't a catfish situation or that he looked different from his photos- but I just weirdly wasn't attracted to him in 3D. You don't really get a sense of someone's demeanour and body language etc over tinder. It just all fell quite flat lol and it felt like awkward between us - not much chemistry. Also, he'd sprayed himself with copious amounts of pungent aftershave or something which was kind of a turn-off lmao. Was a bit of a peculiar vibe given that we had chatted a fair bit beforehand - lesson learned. Don't do this too much as you'll only know if the chemistry is there until you meet in person.

 

[Likkleone]

My fellow singletons: How are you coping with being the “single one”?

At the moment it feels as though EVERYONE around is either pregnant, buying properties with their other half or getting engaged.

If it’s not on Facebook (lol) it’s over Instagram or it’s on WhatsApp.

Don’t get me wrong I am so happy for people in this life phase including my friends and family members who are all of the above including two of them getting engaged this weekend but at the same time I am really struggling with it all.

In my friendship group I am the only single one, living with parents and it’s just a bit disheartening especially when all that is discussed is boyfriends, babies, house, fiancés, wedding planning, double dates (which you get left out of and just see on social media) or you get asked what’s new when really what’s being implied is when are you going to find someone, or that there must be something wrong with you if you haven’t found someone yet.

I am starting to feel overwhelmed by it all and freaking out at the same time as it just feels like I’m stuck on this crap single ride i can’t get off and online dating is doing my head!

i know this feeling!! I’m just entering the ‘stage’ of seeing pregnancies and marriage regularly on my feed. I get really down seeing pregnancies if I’m honest as I’ve only recently come out of my relationship where this was in our plans.

However, I am honestly filling this time with all the things I’ve loved to have done in the past but either didn’t do because of my ex or felt nervous to do it!!

I believe we’ll all find someone, whether they’re the ‘one’ that’s a different question, so I’m essentially getting it all in until then! I also feel that when you put less pressure on yourself things tend to come into your life unexpectedly for the better. Searching on tinder and having meaningless conversations (mostly) only reminds me of the fact I don’t have someone I love to spend my time with. But doing all the things that make me happy and challenge me have been hugely beneficial.

When you’re feeling like this, try to limit your social media time. It’s not worth scrolling for hours comparing yourself to others, I’m terrible at this but it never ever makes me feel better so I have to stop it!

 

[under the ivy]

How do you meet someone at the gym? I’m a red, sweaty mess I made eye contact with someone this week there and he looked horrified. Self esteem died there and then