Dating after Lockdown

[yankydoo]

I don't know if this makes sense but do you feel that you find it harder and harder to know if you like someone or if you are making do? I guess if I am thinking about making do then I am. Sometimes I think I'm just being picky or I don't even know what I'm looking for sometimes.

I've been on a few walks with a guy and at first I really liked him but I have suddenly developed the "ick" and I don't even know why?! There's nothing wrong with him. I need to end it and I feel a bit bad but hey ho.

 

[leapricot]

It would be nice if there were some men on this thread to enlighten us with their behaviour and comments (yes, I know, they're not all bad). But would be interesting to get POVs from the other side

 

[it’s not been changed?!]

When an upside down photo of your bum is better than your face (IMO). (He commented one 1 of my photos saying Bonjour )

 

[it’s not been changed?!]

This post could probably go in the threads on things that give you the ick or make you cringe.
I’ve matched a 33 y/o man on bumble and he has his ig on his bio.
So I went and had a look at his account and it’s private, but the fact he’s changed the style of font made me wtf is crumpy !!?

 

[Woolmercardington]

So, was chatting on and off to a Tinder bloke last summer. Things fizzled out but he recently got back in touch on WhatsApp.

We've just been having a casual, flirty chat, I wasn't it assuming it would really go anywhere, so was amping up the flirting a bit. He did actually say, when it's possible he would like to take me out for a drink.

Anyway, he told me is full name, just because I was teasing him over something, so I obviously looked him up on social media.

So, I discovered a video he made of a fundraising event he was involved with a couple of years ago. He's featured on it, speaking, etc, and there is just no way I would fancy him in real life

This is why all this OD stuff is so crap. The thought of flirting with a bloke I would not fancy whatsoever is really third degree cringe

 

[Pink blancmange]

I really give up

 

[princess279]

My fellow singletons: How are you coping with being the “single one”?

At the moment it feels as though EVERYONE around is either pregnant, buying properties with their other half or getting engaged.

If it’s not on Facebook (lol) it’s over Instagram or it’s on WhatsApp.

Don’t get me wrong I am so happy for people in this life phase including my friends and family members who are all of the above including two of them getting engaged this weekend but at the same time I am really struggling with it all.

In my friendship group I am the only single one, living with parents and it’s just a bit disheartening especially when all that is discussed is boyfriends, babies, house, fiancés, wedding planning, double dates (which you get left out of and just see on social media) or you get asked what’s new when really what’s being implied is when are you going to find someone, or that there must be something wrong with you if you haven’t found someone yet.

I am starting to feel overwhelmed by it all and freaking out at the same time as it just feels like I’m stuck on this crap single ride i can’t get off and online dating is doing my head!

Can completely relate to this. My close friendship group is 6 of us who all went to school together. They are all now in long term relationships and living with their partners. I on the other hand am still living at home - to compenstate I just bought a puppy... I win haha

 

[it’s not been changed?!]

I’ve had some absolute monsters liking me on hinge the last few days.

 

[Clover123]

I'm the same with the pressure! Bit worried that the men will just go mad due to freedom and only be looking for casual things. Also feeling like inevitably I won't find anyone as usual. If I can't find a man in the post-covid rush, when can I?!

I think some guys are probably super horny right now BUT I live with lots of guy housemates and they're all sick of being single and are looking for something real for sure, I think a lot of people have realised being alone can really suck and are sick of their own company after lockdown! So there's hope for sure

 

[bookish]

I met a guy yesterday who I was really excited to meet (he was actual gentry). He told me he wasn't looking for long-term relationships as he enjoyed the fluency of meeting several people and he, by the age of 28, had had 15 girlfriends to date.

Here's a reminder. ladies. When a guy tells you who they are, believe them. Don't tempt yourself to think you can change him

 

[lalalanded]

When an upside down photo of your bum is better than your face (IMO). (He commented one 1 of my photos saying Bonjour )
View attachment 509713

The car selfie is always a no from me.

 

[realhousewivewannabe]

We are all in this together @alwayslurkin

I have had a complete wobble the past two days. I guess it was a mixture of the pandemic stress/reality, the the thoughts about lockdown ending and general anxiety associated with what it all means and general feelings of hopelessness dating, life, direction etc.

I’ve been looking at flats this past week and I just feel completely overwhelmed. I was told by someone (a neighbour) in a catch up this week we discussed all things and my property search. He ended it with a well it’s about time I “sort my life out and get settled” ffs I’m 28!

Then by a male friend (he’s quite a brotherly figure to me and we had a phone catch up today) we discuss dating a bit and how I’m not having any success. His response was “Well, this is your problem you’re never going to find someone to be with if you don’t sleep with them”. Let’s just say I feel even shitter now and I feel like an absolute freak. For context I’ve never been ALL the way with someone. The only guy I started to is the one who ghosted me




I’m not necessarily asking for advice more a vent (but if you have any I’ll take it too xx) I just write on here as I can’t always talk to people 🥲 IRL.

 

[Jac40]

in my failed experiences the forwardness is just so they can advance to the bedroom sooner rather than later, then ghosted!
I've had so many bad experiences I'm actually too afraid to try again. It's really painful getting ghosted. But I do get my hopes up and honestly think the very best of everyone (bad combination)

Thank you all so much for this thread and everyone who has been active and shared. It's been so helpful and comforting !

I’ve been ghosted so much, it’s horrible and I’ve never done it to anyone purely because I know how awful it is. I have a little theory why guys are a bit... how should I say... misleading. This is obvs my own personal take on it but to me it seems like it goes like this. Guys these days don’t want to be tagged with the label of being a player/womaniser as they think women will be put off, they seem to no longer commonly have one night stands/go out and pull someone just before closing. They then turn to dating apps, you then match with one of these guys, dating starts, you enjoy each other’s company, invest time, then after sometime getting to know the guy you feel it’s ready for the sex side of dating, the that’s when I find things shift, soon after the guy suddenly doesn’t want to date you anymore, doesn’t want a relationship, says the usual you’re lovely etc etc but I don’t want anything serious. I really think guys do this way with dating apps so they don’t feel shit about themselves, like they’ve dated a woman so can’t have possible used her. When it fact it’s more painful, as the woman has wasted her time. If guys want just sex, go back to the old way and stop giving women false hope of something meaningful. Like I said just my theory.

 

[catscradle]

Howling at some of these men here. One of the last tinder dates I went on (this was actually at the end of 2019 because I haven't used apps during Covid) asked me if he could 'shove my head down the toilet and lick the bowl' on our first date. I know we all have kinks but like....EWW.

 

[Clover123]

I think


Happens so often. I do think a lot of men do get genuinely excited when they meet a woman they like and go overboard with keenness. But then when reality and practicalities kick in and the initial excitement wears off, it's a different story.

I think a lot then fade out because they just can't deal with any form of confrontation or they have some stupid preconceived notion that the woman will go "crazy" if they break it off.

Agreed! Some like the chase and then get bored and I agree that lots can't deal with confrontation. I've been appalled at how cowardly so many men can be, and how deceptive. Leading girls on and giving them false hope and then lying about their feelings while setting up another girl to jump to... it can really make you lose hope but there are still good ones out there- somewhere!

 

[chanandlerbong]

So happy to have found this thread. I've been in a relationship for 3 years but absolutely despised the dating game, especially apps, but as I met both of my boyfriends on Bumble I find it hard to justify not using them

Read through all 29 pages and glad to see the issues are universal. For me the most depressing thing was dealing with the terrible quality of chat that seemingly the majority of guys have. The idea of a dating app should be to talk to a load of people and then date those you click with the most, have similar interests with etc. But in reality for me 95% of conversations ended after 4 messages, guys routinely send one word replies, only talk about themselves and rarely ask questions.

That said, you only need one of them to go right but it's like finding a needle in a haystack. And starting and then ending these diabolically boring convos one after the other can take it's toll. Feels like such a waste of time. As you can tell I really do sympathise with the plight They have their uses but man they are a struggle

 

[This.is.me]

Thought I’d give Hinge a go before I draw the line under online dating. Didn’t realise you only get 8 likes a day

Hinge must be much better than tinder then if you can manage to find 8 people to like in a day

 

[sleepflowers]

I could honestly create a book from all my screenshots of hilarious/awful dating profiles. I have so many of them!

 

[realhousewivewannabe]

My fellow singletons: How are you coping with being the “single one”?

At the moment it feels as though EVERYONE around is either pregnant, buying properties with their other half or getting engaged.

If it’s not on Facebook (lol) it’s over Instagram or it’s on WhatsApp.

Don’t get me wrong I am so happy for people in this life phase including my friends and family members who are all of the above including two of them getting engaged this weekend but at the same time I am really struggling with it all.

In my friendship group I am the only single one, living with parents and it’s just a bit disheartening especially when all that is discussed is boyfriends, babies, house, fiancés, wedding planning, double dates (which you get left out of and just see on social media) or you get asked what’s new when really what’s being implied is when are you going to find someone, or that there must be something wrong with you if you haven’t found someone yet.

I am starting to feel overwhelmed by it all and freaking out at the same time as it just feels like I’m stuck on this crap single ride i can’t get off and online dating is doing my head!

 

[realhousewivewannabe]

Buckle up folks I’m going to have to create a new thread soon xx

Also, It’s time!!! April 12th! Hair Nails Clothes shops are open! let’s go