Dating after Lockdown

[realhousewivewannabe]

Thank you all for your responses. I’m ok just a bit I felt really taken back and dirty on my way home. Just glad really I made it home. I also really wish i didn’t go on the first date either!

Spoiler: Add* TW

this happened when he was hugging me. He then pinned me against a wall, which is how he grabbed my hand to move it there god I feel sick at writing that

. I told a friend and obviously wrote that on here but that’s it for me.

To the person who said about boundaries I completely agree! please feel free to be honest and post whatever you think I know I (probably all of us too) appreciate all answers. Xxxx

 

[Motherofboys]

What is the longest you ladies have chatted/text with a bloke before meeting?

Back in the day, when I did online dating properly, I would communicate no longer than a couple of weeks before going on a date. The sooner the better for me and I'd always avoid incessant texting leading up to meeting.

Just wondered, though, if anyone has chatted for quite a length of time before meeting - maybe due to lockdown or even prior to Covid? How did it go? Expectation vs reality?

since last March!! We hit our “anniversary” the other day. Obviously things would have been different if COVID never happened. I have children and high risk family members, I’d never risk their health and he has respected that the entire time.

We speak every day. Both of us have been there for each other with massive highs and lows happening throughout the whole year. Talk about how things are going to be different once these restrictions lift. It’s so strange. I’ve never done the whole dating online until I got bored after being single for 18months.

Never thought I’d click with anyone ever again. And especially that I’m a single mum. But this one I’m myself with him and I’m the most comfortable I have ever been with someone.

 

[Alf]

I so needed to read this thread tonight. I don't hear from my friends anymore now they have settled down and I'm convinced its because I'm still living at home at 30 and single. I keep thinking I'm rubbish at the dating apps but I see I'm not the only one that has no luck. Think the loneliness has got to me tonight and this thread has just given me a bit of a comfort that life my perk up at some point. So thanks all

 

[LittleBird]

Well this is a new one

 

[realhousewivewannabe]

I've just started Internet dating for the first time, my more (Tinder) experienced friend has told me I'm too trusting and innocent because I believe what every man tells me on there Does anyone have a definitive list of Internet dating red flags for a novice just starting out like me!?

I might write a book your friend is right, stalk their social media if it’s linked to profile, it’ll help you see if there’s wife kids other etc, they’re probably chatting to loads of others so don’t get to hung up, ghosting happens a lot, it’s horrible but it’s the game, they may just old pics so have a call or FaceTime before you meet them. If they get sexual or creepy report and block.

 

[under the ivy]

I’m nearing 30 & my longterm relationship ended a few month ago. People are moving in together, getting engaged, buying dogs together etc on my Insta and it does hurt. But I’m embracing single life it’s such a weird age to be. Part of you feels like a failure, part of you feels independent.

I’m going to let love find me. I’m not going looking for it anytime soon. If it happens it happens. If not, then so what!

 

[it’s not been changed?!]

His name was “Charm and Cuddles”

 

[Peakyblinders]

Hello everyone,

Following my message below, I have an update. I got fed up on Monday and told him that clearly he didn't have time to talk to me let alone see me. So that I won't be running after him indefinitely and that I had done enough efforts.
To which he replied:
"Hey I'm sorry for being so awful at communicating recently. I'm just back in from London. I'm really struggling for time to think at the moment and I appreciate that it's very unfair on you. I'm in such a different place to when we first met - I didn't expect the tacos to last this long. I don't know what is happening from one week to the next and I'm just not in a place to maintain any kind of relationship right now at all. I felt really sad all afternoon since you sent that message but I just don't have any ability to make things any different at the moment. It would be nice to have a proper catch up soon when I get a moment but i don't want to be the type that keeps messing you about and stringing you along"

So I have read it about 15 times (as you do hehe) and the fact that he uses several times "right now" and "at the moment" makes me think he isn't closing the door to a possible brighter future. I am not gonna stick around and wait for him, especially if I meet someone else I like. But there is this small part of me who wants to hope that he will eventually come back to me.

Thanks for reading

sorry to say this but NOBODY is EVER too busy for someone they really like. It has taken me a long time to realise this but it’s honestly the truth! I would just move on and get on with your life, don’t wait around for someone who isn’t sure about you, you deserve better xxxx

 

[Bellaboo83]

I was on dating apps for a while and always thought a lot of the guys on it weren’t over their past relationships which contributed to the lack of chat and ghosting. Really annoyed me as it would be a much more enjoyable experience if you could just filter out the time wasters

I matched with a guy this weekend, I was excited we matched he was my type, nice looking, good job etc. This was Bumble so I messaged first, he sent me a one sentence reply back to my first message which took 2 days, I tried again and after 5 hours he sent another one sentence reply, I sent something funny back and it took him until the next day to send me back another one sentence reply. So this time I replied "it's been lovely chatting to you, but it's clear I'm not getting anywhere here, I wish you lots of luck in finding what you're looking for" he then replied after 1 minute "what did you want me to say?" hahaha - - > UNMATCH. Just don't reply mate if you don't want to talk to me, it's much easier!

 

[Bellaboo83]

I remember when someone asked me if I had a single bed? I’m a 30 year mum ffs.

I once chatted to a guy who lived with his mum temporarily, that was okay I understood he was between places, but one day not too far into chatting to him he sent me a selfie from inside of his room and he had a single bed... I got ick from the inside out and couldn't continue the idea of an adult sleeping in a single bed.... Nope.

 

[sleepflowers]

What’s this? I haven’t heard of it.

It's on the Facebook app (I'm on iphone) on the bottom toolbar, it's the heart icon, you can create a profile from scratch as it's not linked to your FB profile. Just a generic swipe based interface, looks a bit like Hinge...but all the men on there It was like looking through a police lineup

 

[ThreeSteaksPam]

‘I find you really attractive but I don’t want a relationship, I just want to explore sexually’

Why is Bumble turning into Tinder?

OMG OMG OMG You’ve just reminded me of something. So the very first guy I ever matched with on Hinge was like this.

We were messaging backwards and forwards for a bit and then out of nowhere, he came out with the below. Obviously he’s carefully worded and crafted these messages over time and probably has them saved in his notes to copy and paste to every woman he matches with. The way he tries to make “I’m just looking for a shag” sound really profound and spiritual is absolutely hilarious We still rinse him in the group chat to this day.

 

[sleepflowers]

Today I'm getting the rage at men who constantly remake their profiles on apps so they can be pushed to the top of the pile. I don't know why but it makes me so angry! Constantly seeing their desperate faces is so offputting Even worse when they constantly swipe right on me again and again even though I've never done it to them

 

[bobthedragqueen]

Hey peeps! I'm new to the dating scene after a long-term breakup.

I'm self-admittedly picky, and rightly so because I don't just want to date - I want to meet someone to spend a long time with.
Anyway, I met a guy who was perfect, but he stopped talking to me. I then followed up a few days later asking if we could be friends and he agreed. We got on so well on our non-date and he asked if we could meet up again the next week. Then he cancelled the follow-up.

No one else talks back to me or even matches or likes me. I must be a freaking monster. Online dating really opened my eyes to how little of a catch I am Just the confidence boost I needed. I don't think I can go through this method long-term, I don't know how people do it!

Hey excuse me hun, don’t ever talk about yourself like that! It is admittedly a very hard time for online dating, there is literally nothing to talk about and my friends who use dating apps have come off them because they feel pressured to continue talking to people when the chat is literally about the weather.

You are a great catch. We are all catches. Sure, we can’t be catches for everyone but you have to put yourself out there to find yours.

Don’t feel pressured to use the sites but at the same time don’t think you’re to blame for not having any success yet!

X

 

[ThreeSteaksPam]

So I’m a health professional which I semi disclose on my profile but I’m subtle about. It really annoys me when people use it as a way to overly hype themselves up or as semi false advertising.
I matched with this guy as I mainly wanted to see if he was actually this much of a dick. He had the obligatory picture in scrubs but also two photos with him accessorising outfits with a stethoscope (one was a suit, the other was a football kit).

I mean urgh

YES! There’s ALWAYS a picture in scrubs or in some other kind of “I’m a doctor you know” type of set up.

I’ve always thought it’s because a doctor or a surgeon (or lawyer or whatever) are the sort of stereotypical, desirable, well paid jobs that people seem to fall at the feet of regardless of someone’s looks or personality. “Oh he’s a doctor, he must be loaded, never mind the fact that he looks like a foot”

 

[ThreeSteaksPam]

Yeah, I'll give it a miss Rico Suave!!!

That’s what I told him in not so many words I just said I appreciated his honesty as it saved either of us wasting any time but I wasn’t interested in the slightest. Then he thanked me for my “self awareness” and off he went, presumably to try his luck in one of his other two countries What an absolute turnip.

 

[Cocoflowers]

I was talking to someone non stop on badoo and exchanged numbers i know alot about his background as i recognised him straight away and now he just vanished messed with my head definitely wont be hearing from him i don't think! I'm actually gutted

 

[NMK]

Oh girls I’ve just started reading this thread and I’ve laughed and laughed so much honestly! Bloody online dating Thanks for the giggles I’ve had zero luck in online dating the profiles are just hilarious what is wrong with males these days! I only said hello to someone and he asked for a date before he said hello back ‘socially distanced coffee walk then back to mine to warm up!’ DELETE

 

[Pink blancmange]

Stay safe out there, I think for me personally I will only turn to online dating if I really don't get anywhere with people at work, friendship groups etc in the future. After my friends experience of matching with this lovely, friendly 20 something guy and then turning up at the train station for it to be a 70 year old man and her basically running away (not joking) I'd always make sure you know who it is you're talking to I always said she should've video called him first, the photos always looked fishy to me, like theyd been screenshotted and cropped!

I got somewhere with someone at work.. I fell pregnant, we now don't speak at all but still work together. Nobody at work knows he's my child's father either. Bit awkward sometimes so I'd recommend not dating a colleague .

 

[it’s not been changed?!]

I really dislike the questions and answers you have to do on hinge.