Dating after Lockdown

[princess279]

I’ll second this

It’s hard out there at the moment. Over the last few weeks, I’ve started conversations with guys that I’d 100% be going on dates with in the “normal world” but my mood (and I think this is the same for a lot of people) shifts so dramatically from one day to the next and the “normal world” feels so far away, that I’ve just been letting conversations die.

Men have been matching me that I’d normally want to start messaging, but I’m not even starting conversations because I know how it will end and I don’t want to waste my own time or theirs at the moment. I’m bored, fat and disengaged and as @bobthedragqueen rightly said, there’s very little to actually talk about at the moment. A lot of my friends who are on apps (male and female) have said the same too. I haven’t stepped foot into a gym since last year, I feel repulsive and I think that would be written all over me even if I did meet someone for a walk or whatever.

I didn’t mean to make this post all about me, sorry My point was, don’t let it knock you. I think it’s a general trend with a lot of people at the moment and is not a reflection on you in any way

Completely agree with this! I've been speaking to one guy since before Christmas, we've been on one walk date and think I'll be seeing him again this weekend. I've not been speaking to anyone else, not because I'm 'putting all my eggs into one basket' but because I don't have the energy to speak to someone new when I have nothing to say and can't be bothered with the mundane 'how's lockdown treating' you shite.

 

[it’s not been changed?!]

@ThreeSteaksPam i totally relate to your post. I do not feel my best atm. Feel like a bloated slug, got nothing to talk about. Eyebrows are a mess... I wouldn’t be the best version of myself. Then on the other hand, I kind of think, let them see me at my worst!!
I keep letting matches expire on bumble and feel a tiny bit awful but I’m in the “what’s the point” mindset? And who is to say they would even reply if I sent the first message. I’m actually whatsapping someone atm off bumble since Sunday night. It’s hard work getting any convo out of him! Even though he asked for my number!!

 

[LittleBird]

I agree with you all about the DRY conversation right now.
"How was your day"
Wellll... I get up, get ready and take ten steps to the kitchen to work for the next 8 hours and then spend the evening doing odd jobs, and if I'm really lucky, a trip to the shops once a week .
I am so bored of the talking stages I am ready to box it all off until the summer. I asked one guy I'm speaking to if he wanted to video call but apparently he has has migraine since the 17th of Feb . I follow him on insta and it hasn't stopped him going out on his bike and doing a bunch of DIY...

 

[drewydrop]

I broke up with my boyfriend in October and last month I finally felt ready to get back out there. I gave myself til the beginning of March as I’m not getting any younger and feel like life is passing me by but now March is here and although I’m ready to move on and find someone, I really cannot be arsed with going online and talking to randoms when I don’t have anything interesting to say. I’m struggling to talk about anything interesting with my friends right now plus I have hardly any pictures of me. I hate selfies and having my photo taken in general, and I cant be arsed to go through it all when I can’t really meet anyone atm in person so what’s the point? Think I’m going to leave it for a while til I feel ready.

My friend on the other hand seems to be talking to someone different every week and not just through apps, contacting old acquaintances and was introduced to the latest guy by a friend who gave him her number. I don’t know how she does it so easily!

 

[sleepflowers]

No one else talks back to me or even matches or likes me. I must be a freaking monster. Online dating really opened my eyes to how little of a catch I am Just the confidence boost I needed. I don't think I can go through this method long-term, I don't know how people do it!

Honestly, after years of seeing the state of men on dating apps, I can safely say that any woman is more of a catch than what 90% of them have to offer. However, I'm glad I can't see other women on the app. I think the comparison between me and them might kill me - I'm well aware that I'm not jawdroppingly stunning like so many women are.

I have little problem getting matches, but getting to an actual conversation and date is nearly impossible for me. It's because men swipe right on everything hoping for a match, whereas I will only swipe right on men I'm genuinely interested in. I'm just one of the low priority options for them so they never make an effort, I wish they wouldn't swipe me just so I get my hopes up!!

 

[yankydoo]

I still think (and sooo hope this is right) that app dating is a numbers game. There are so many time wasters and people with issues on them. Then of course, even if you meet a genuine person there is no guarantee that you will hit it off. I'm just trying to keep going, not take it too seriously and hope that I will come across someone where it all works out. Also, every day and every action is a step closer to meeting someone, so I like to keep thinking that too.

 

[bobthedragqueen]

I know it feels like a waste of time (trust me!) but you’ve got to remember that you are getting something out of talking to these absolute cretins in the fact that you’re realising what you want out of a partner and what you don’t want. Things that make you go ick and actually things that you’re willing to overlook. It might feel like you’re getting nowhere but like an earlier poster said, you’re one step closer to finding one you can stand a little bit more than the others x

 

[yankydoo]

I take back being nice....just had another phone date and he actually sounds like a 40 year old criminal who still lives with mummy and stares at children in the street. Such a scary voice... I don’t know how else to describe it. I’m unmatching

 

[it’s not been changed?!]

I take back being nice....just had another phone date and he actually sounds like a 40 year old criminal who still lives with mummy and stares at children in the street. Such a scary voice... I don’t know how else to describe it. I’m unmatching

Is it through the app that you’re speaking to him or did you swap numbers?

 

[yankydoo]

Is it through the app that you’re speaking to him or did you swap numbers?

Thankfully on hinge. He then messaged me his number and I promptly unmatched.

 

[it’s not been changed?!]

For goodness sake. It’s groundhog day everyday for me on apps.
He’s nearly 60 miles away from me and that is the reason he unmatched me in January 2020!! (I have a good memory)
I don’t think I have the energy to make conversation anymore.

 

[Woolmercardington]

What happened with this guy? The one who you watched a video of?

Oh god, I just left it I thought, what could I possibly say to him? So I just didn't continue the conversation. He hasn't picked it back up either.

Tbh, we'd spoken twice previously and he'd been the one, on both occasions, who let the conversation fizzle. He then contacted me a third time, which I ignored him. So, this was a Fourth time. Obviously we were both influenced by lockdown boredem.

 

[RoseBush23]

I’m dreading it! I’ve been talk of to a guy on and off since February 2020! And he’s become so negative! I think I said it’s mad to think you could of met someone this last year and it could of been amazing but we’ve been stuck indoors! And he was just like well not really didn’t happen so don’t bother me.

I hate negative people anyway so I’ve deleted his number

 

[Cocoflowers]

I'm back on the apps now just felt comfortable re downloading them

that guy i posted before about red flags and ghosting me etc turns out he has been a relationship the whole time i love that i can find all this information out!

Has anyone noticed so many men lie about their age

 

[Woolmercardington]

Has anyone noticed so many men lie about their age

My favourite is the classic, "I'm really 47 not 32 but it won't let me change it."

Then start again for feck's sake! It takes less than 10 minutes! It's not like you have any ulterior motive to "accidentally" set your age 15yrs younger, is it?

 

[Cocoflowers]

My favourite is the classic, "I'm really 47 not 32 but it won't let me change it."

Then start again for feck's sake! It takes less than 10 minutes! It's not like you have any ulterior motive to "accidentally" set your age 15yrs younger, is it?

Things like that just doesn't make sense why would you lie about your age unless there have got something to hide someone did just ask me if im really 30

 

[Pink blancmange]

Anyone worry that they'll never settle down? . I'm nearing 30, I have 2 children and my own home. I've had one longish relationship a few years ago (not my children's father)but I just feel like I'm never going to find someone to settle with. I've always wanted to get married but I now don't feel like that's ever going to happen and if it does then I'm going to be an old bride . I'm so tit at the talking part on the apps so it never really progresses. But I'm also quite shy in person and I don't really go out even in normal times so I feel like I'm pretty much screwed .

 

[sleepflowers]

Anyone worry that they'll never settle down? . I'm nearing 30, I have 2 children and my own home. I've had one longish relationship a few years ago (not my children's father)but I just feel like I'm never going to find someone to settle with. I've always wanted to get married but I now don't feel like that's ever going to happen and if it does then I'm going to be an old bride . I'm so tit at the talking part on the apps so it never really progresses. But I'm also quite shy in person and I don't really go out even in normal times so I feel like I'm pretty much screwed .

Yep! Although I don't have kids or my own home...I feel like I'll never be able to buy on my own, I just don't earn enough to get a deposit anywhere near my work. Haven't decided if I want kids but it would be nice to have the option rather than just resigning myself to a sperm donor or whatever lol. I would love to get into a strong relationship like I see my friends doing, and get married and have a partner to go through life with, but all the stuff inbetween I'm a complete flop at. I'm also bad at the talking part! I just get so bored with it.

I don't want to mess around dating multiple guys, I want to find the one then go all the way. I don't get how people get into relationships so easy, it's like a skill I never learnt.

 

[Pink blancmange]

Yep! Although I don't have kids or my own home...I feel like I'll never be able to buy on my own, I just don't earn enough to get a deposit anywhere near my work. Haven't decided if I want kids but it would be nice to have the option rather than just resigning myself to a sperm donor or whatever lol. I would love to get into a strong relationship like I see my friends doing, and get married and have a partner to go through life with, but all the stuff inbetween I'm a complete flop at. I'm also bad at the talking part! I just get so bored with it.

I don't want to mess around dating multiple guys, I want to find the one then go all the way. I don't get how people get into relationships so easy, it's like a skill I never learnt.

Sorry I worded my post wrong, I don't own my own home, I just meant that I live alone with my kids . I completely understand what you mean! I always knew I wanted children, my first I was young and fell quickly, my second was to my 'best friend' and colleague, he walked out the day I found out I was pregnant and has never looked back since. I think I'd like another in the future but I want to be a family when that happens.
I'm the same!! I don't want to keep dating lots of men, I just want to meet someone and be happy and that be that, why can't life be that simple lol. If you do ever learn that skill, please teach me

 

[realhousewivewannabe]

Okay gang I need some advice. So I got tinder (think I posted about this last weekend) anyway met two guys from there and have been texting, seem to get on really well with one. So I went on a date last night, we went for a distanced walk along the seafront, coffee then had dinner (takeaway fish and chips). We don’t know each other before at all but during the evening he grabbed me and kissed me. now I feel like we seemed “click” but I was really taken aback brazenness to kiss someone you don’t know, in a pandemic???? has anyone dealt with this before. I get he lives alone and isn’t seeing people (or so he says yanooo men lie) but I’m actually a bit he also has started to call me bub babe and baby in texts

(I know there’s a chance some may be angry I went on this date, if you’ve read my posts before please know it’s hard out here and I really do/ have done everything to obey the rules)

We’ve already said we want to see each other again and I have agreed to see him tomorrow but I don’t know I just feel some sort of way now this morning we kinda said we could end up bubbling too but I feel weird af this morning honestly. Also feels like we’ve done 0-50 in an evening.