Dating after lockdown #6 Block him!

[HelloStereo]

Can someone give me a talking-to, I keep checking the profile of the guy I'm seeing for a second date tomorrow. It's basically torturing myself as it means I can see he's still tweaking his profile and messaging people.

God this pandemic has mucked up my compass. Pre-2020 I was laid back and a bit of a callous commitment-phobe but here I am, Stalker McStalkerson because of ONE good date.



Same, ex-anythings watching my social media gives me the heebie-jeebies

I think people have every right to use their dating apps unless you've agreed to date exclusively / come off them. You're only on your second date so you never know whether it might lead somewhere, perhaps he doesn't want to put all his eggs in one basket?

I don't think it's a sign of how invested he is, if he's agreed to a second date there is some interest there. Are you still talking to other people?

 

[LaurieLaurie]

Can someone give me a talking-to?

I keep checking the Bumble profile of the guy I'm seeing for a second date tomorrow. It's basically torturing myself as it means I can see he's still tweaking his profile and messaging people.

God this pandemic has mucked up my compass. Pre-2020 I was laid back and a bit of a callous commitment-phobe but here I am, Stalker McStalkerson because of ONE good date.

Just got to distract yourself I think and be rational, you’ve had a date, chill, enjoy the next one and take it as it comes. The whole dating thing gives me anxiety unless I give myself a similar talking to. Are you talking to him on there or elsewhere? Just because he’s tweaking his profile it doesn’t necessarily mean he’s talking to anyone else.

 

[Bellaboo83]

Eeeeek can you see when someone is online / talking to someone on Bumble?

 

[LaurieLaurie]

Eeeeek can you see when someone is online / talking to someone on Bumble?

I’ve never used Bumble but a quick Google says they can’t see your online status.

 

[newtoyou]

Can someone give me a talking-to?

I keep checking the Bumble profile of the guy I'm seeing for a second date tomorrow. It's basically torturing myself as it means I can see he's still tweaking his profile and messaging people.

God this pandemic has mucked up my compass. Pre-2020 I was laid back and a bit of a callous commitment-phobe but here I am, Stalker McStalkerson because of ONE good date.



Same, ex-anythings watching my social media gives me the heebie-jeebies

Maybe he can see you’re online too so thinks you’re doing the same

 

[LaurieLaurie]

Nahh it’s got to be a safety feature so nobody can turn into stalkers

 

[gelicahah]

Can someone give me a talking-to?

I keep checking the Bumble profile of the guy I'm seeing for a second date tomorrow. It's basically torturing myself as it means I can see he's still tweaking his profile and messaging people.

God this pandemic has mucked up my compass. Pre-2020 I was laid back and a bit of a callous commitment-phobe but here I am, Stalker McStalkerson because of ONE good date.



Same, ex-anythings watching my social media gives me the heebie-jeebies

I used to obsess over guys I had seen once or twice, more being afraid of being "one of the many" than anything. I would keep checking tinder to see how far from me they were and I could understand if they were downtown which would automatically make me think they were on a date with someone if they were last online on WhatsApp at 7pm and then gone for the rest of the night (I always assumed dinner date) Now of course I was insane, I was going through a lot and I'm happy I've stopped but I've started unmatching the guys I'm seeing after we move on WhatsApp, yes I could still obsess over when they were last online but getting rid of the chance to know where they are at what time really helped me. Sometimes they ask why did you unmatch me I just say we're already talking somewhere else why do you need me on 15 different platforms? I can tell sometimes they're still not convinced but they never press me too much.

 

[justapossum]

I used to obsess over guys I had seen once or twice, more being afraid of being "one of the many" than anything. I would keep checking tinder to see how far from me they were and I could understand if they were downtown which would automatically make me think they were on a date with someone if they were last online on WhatsApp at 7pm and then gone for the rest of the night (I always assumed dinner date) Now of course I was insane, I was going through a lot and I'm happy I've stopped but I've started unmatching the guys I'm seeing after we move on WhatsApp, yes I could still obsess over when they were last online but getting rid of the chance to know where they are at what time really helped me. Sometimes they ask why did you unmatch me I just say we're already talking somewhere else why do you need me on 15 different platforms? I can tell sometimes they're still not convinced but they never press me too much.

This is why I turned my "last seen" off on WhatsApp as it used to drive me crazy!

 

[HelloStereo]

Eeeeek can you see when someone is online / talking to someone on Bumble?

No but I think when you can see how many miles away they are it means they've opened the app recently?

How come you want to check whether someone is talking to other people on Bumble?

 

[Mr Sparkle]

Thanks everyone for the talking-to, knew I needed it. You're all legends.

Re online status - it just updates your location if you log on while in a new place, and he travels around a lot for work.

Officially closing this brief "being a creep" chapter and chilling TF out. Have started a new convo with someone on the app, need to get over this "all my eggs in one basket" frame of mind.

 

[Bellaboo83]

No but I think when you can see how many miles away they are it means they've opened the app recently?

How come you want to check whether someone is talking to other people on Bumble?

Oh I see that makes sense, so it only updates location if you open the app, that's good to know.

No I was more worried that guys could check if I was online

 

[ThreeSteaksPam]

@Mr Sparkle Is this the same guy who’s been leaving you on blue ticks for 3 days? I’d definitely distribute a few more eggs into a few more baskets for the sake of your own sanity.

 

[Mr Sparkle]

@Mr Sparkle Is this the same guy who’s been leaving you on blue ticks for 3 days? I’d definitely distribute a few more eggs into a few more baskets for the sake of your own sanity.

Yup. You've just given me the kick up the bum to go and message a few ppl in my match queue, sooo thanks!

Seeing blue tick guy tomorrow, will see how it goes. He was so genuinely keen on the first date, mentioned it a couple of times. Ah well, I've got a grip now either way (hopefully).

 

[Lhm87]

He said he wants to calm down with the drinking because it's a waste of money and makes him down. So on a Sunday when he said he was going on a sesh I suggested maybe waiting until Tuesday when the football was on. He replied "duck off you bleep" so I said I don't appreciate being sworn at. His response was to tell me to stop being a bleeping sensitive fan.

ETA this was via voice note so I could hear tone etc

I’d have blocked him instantly - that is disgusting.

 

[LaurieLaurie]

I’ve got all my eggs in one basket I enjoyed talking to multiple people last year but I struggle to juggle them, I always feel like there’s a favourite and the rest come as a last priority but I don’t like treating people like that.

 

[katyazamo]

I delete all exes / past dates from social media. For me that door is closed, and I am a pretty private person and I do not want to "share" my life with them.
Additionally, I don't see the reason to keep them unless I'm leaving that door slightly ajar, and I think that's the reason most men like to keep women on social media even if they ghosted them (or things didn't go anywhere), just in case one day they want to slide into your DMs

Yeah I tend to do the same. A friend once said she thought it was a bit OTT but my opinion has always been that I'm likely never gonna see these people again and I cannot be assed with orbiters (that's what I call them lol). I don't want these guys following me and passing judgement on how I look and what I'm up to.

 

[LaurieLaurie]

LOL
I’ve had so many men fake leave During lockdown one lad did it every few days, I used to call his bluff everytime and in the end id tell him I’d speak to him when he comes back

Sometimes I miss the banter of it all lol

 

[Tinkerbell cat]

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LOL
I’ve had so many men fake leave During lockdown one lad did it every few days, I used to call his bluff everytime and in the end id tell him I’d speak to him when he comes back

Sometimes I miss the banter of it all lol

Years ago I briefly saw someone who was sending lots of messages while I was in work. I sent a brief message and said I was really busy but would message him later. then later that day I notice he had deleted me from facebook & deleted me on whatsapp. I messaged him asking him had he actually deleted me for being busy His response was something like '' You weren't that busy if you were on responding to other people!''
I had literally only been online liking a post my friend had tagged me in, hadn't even commented on it, liked it briefly when checking notifications. I just left him to it, few days later he wanted to add me again and unblocked me. Major red flag from the start and wish I'd left him unfriended. Ended up being a complete narcissistic melt! It is just the pure childishness of it all. I can respond to whoever, whenever I want

 

[LaurieLaurie]

Years ago I briefly saw someone who was sending lots of messages while I was in work. I sent a brief message and said I was really busy but would message him later. then later that day I notice he had deleted me from facebook & deleted me on whatsapp. I messaged him asking him had he actually deleted me for being busy His response was something like '' You weren't that busy if you were on responding to other people!''
I had literally only been online liking a post my friend had tagged me in, hadn't even commented on it, liked it briefly when checking notifications. I just left him to it, few days later he wanted to add me again and unblocked me. Major red flag from the start and wish I'd left him unfriended. Ended up being a complete narcissistic melt! It is just the pure childishness of it all. I can respond to whoever, whenever I want

It’s always good when the trash takes itself out as my friend says I went along with it for the entertainment during those first hard months of lockdown but now they wouldn’t be allowed to come back.

 

[Tinkerbell cat]

It’s always good when the trash takes itself out as my friend says I went along with it for the entertainment during those first hard months of lockdown but now they wouldn’t be allowed to come back.

Swear he must have unfriended me a further 20 times for a 31 year man he got on like a 12yr old. Such a Jekyll and Hyde character. It was like he would go to sleep and with the stroke of midnight, turn into someone different. Everyday it was like hmmm which personality have you got today? Thank God I have nothing to do with him now, wonder who he bothers now